Subsistent Lies

I sighed as I watched my brother grumble off to find Gabriella. We had just left our fathers chamber and once again he had yelled at Colin because he did not wish to take Gabriella’s hand. In a way I could understand Colin’s reasoning; I knew that he was mad because things weren’t going his way for once. Actually, it wasn’t going his well ever since the King’s tournament. I remembered how he reacted when I went to look for him:

I couldn’t believe my eyes. Gabriella was the one who…so it was not my foolish brother who had decided to fight the Kings best. But if it wasn’t my brother who had fought. Where was he? I trotted back to the stables to tie my horse and search for him. I was headed out the door when I heard a low groan in the far corner. Curious I slowly walked to the noise, my sword in my hand. I rolled my eyes when I saw it was my brother groaning, holding his head. I shook my head as I leaned against the wall. “What is that you’ve done brother.”

Colin groaned as he looked at me. “Nothing that I know. Is it time to go out and fight.”

I snorted and rolled my eyes. “It seems, brother, that you’ve already done that.”

“Huh?” He asked confused.

I bent down toward him and looked at the flask to his side and frowned. “You drank before you fought.”

“No.” He looked around.

“Where is Gabriella?”

I snorted and shook my head. “She is sitting next to the King and his guest.”

“The King?”

“Ah yes, by our dear friend Gabriel Giovanni.”

“What!!”

“Gabriella disguised herself as you and actually won the tournament.”

“What!!!!” This time Colin jumped from his spot in the hay, touching his head.

“Aye, my dear brother, she has.” I smiled, laughing as he started to curse in many languages.

“What is it that plagues you now brother?” I asked, catching up to my brother.

“Father is making me see Gabriella. She is not thrilled to see me and I am not thrilled to see her.”

“I see.” I raised a brow and he shook his head.

“You do not understand. She has dishonored me, and now I’m supposed to just sit back and act like nothing happened.”

“It is for the best. Colin, father has long planned for this to happen and…”

“I know of the plans. But she is just so frustrating!!”

“Aye, I know.” I sighed as he looked over at me.

“You do not pity me?”

“You should get over it. I know it was a dishonorable thing to do but we must not cause too much attention. I’ve heard that Gabriel is snooping around about us.”

“Is he?” He stopped in his stride and looked at me.

“Has he found anything.”

“That I am not sure.”

He sighed and then turned to me. “Are you looking forward to seeing Zaria. I heard that she wasn’t as thrilled to be speaking to you, as much as look at you.”

I sighed and nodded. Zaria was in fact mad at me, and there was nothing I could say to persuade her otherwise. “I don’t know what to do with the woman. She has become more difficult that I ever thought her to be.”

Colin smiled. “Speaking of which, I’ve also learned more about Gabriel.”

“Well?” I asked. He sighed and said, “It seems to my knowledge that he has called war upon our kingdom.”

“Really?” I raised my brows and Colin nodded.

“He has made it easy for Arthur to better trust us and to leave him.”

“Aye. Is that all that you have heard.”

“Nay. There is also the matter on Zaria.”

“Zaria?” I asked. He gave a crooked smiled and I grabbed him by the collar of his neck. “What is it of Zaria that you know of? She is not in harm, is she?”

My brother was shocked at my actions, then wirily smiled. “She is not in harms way at all.”

“Then?” I held him tighter.

He finally squeaked out, “Gabriel is trying to swoon her. It seems that she was won the cold mans heart.”

I released him and turned my back to him, closing my eyes. “Is this true brother? If it is not I will gut you myself.”

“I do not lie Calib, it is true.”

“Then I must find her.” I sighed, turning around and quickly heading for the great hall.

I found Zaria quickly after that, but it didn’t seem quick enough. She was indeed, in the arms of another, Gabriel for that matter, and she looked quite happy to be in his arms. I tried to hide my bitterness as I said, “You betray your kingdom by cuddling with the enemy?”

She looked toward me with surprise and quickly tried to push herself from Gabriel. He, on the other hand, held her closer to him and asked, “Does she betray her kingdom by loving one who will love her right?”

I could of spat on the man as I answered to him. I knew I had won when I spoke of his betrayal of Anevia, and apparently Zaria. She looked at him with so much pain I wanted to sweep her in my arms and find any way to comfort her. Instead she fled and I turned to Gabriel, “There is no use of you to her. You only bring pain and Zaria has had enough of that.”

“I’m sure when I say we both had a little help with that.”

His voice was challenging me but I was in no mood to fight. I sighed as I turned around to catch up with Zaria. She was apparently starting to weep when I came to her side. She brushed the whole matter aside and I could only take what she would give me. We started to walk to the gardens, in what I hoped was peace, when we walked by the Kings field. There we spotted Isabella talking to Darius. Zaria excused herself to take care of her sister and I silently cursed her for it. I knew what the Captain of the Guard thought of me and about me joining the Kings knighthood. He kept the same piercing stare at me before quickly turning toward the field and joining his men. I only shook my head as I escorted the two back to their chambers. I knew that dinner would be very eventful.

*************

Zaria and her sisters looked stunning as they entered the dining hall and already I could hear the ladies of court gossiping. They had spent quite some time gossiping about the sisters and I knew it was only because they were envious. After making sure her sisters were in good care, Zaria came walking toward me, something less than a smile on her face. “My lady.” I stood and bowed as she nodded and took her seat.

“You mustn’t be formal Calib. I know who you are. I don’t want to make the situation more awkward than it already is.”

“I must be formal in this instance, my lady.”

“Please refer to me as Zaria.”

I sighed and nodded. “Fine, Zaria.”

“Thank you.” She turned to her meal and we spent the rest of it in silence.

I’m sure Zaria was counting the minutes for our meeting to be over and I heard her sigh when I asked, “A stroll in the garden, my lady…I mean Zaria.” She nodded and we stood, walking out into the dark night. We were silent for a moment until I finally asked, “Why do you not speak to me.”

“There is nothing for me to speak to you of.”

“You are still mad at me.”

“Aye, I think I am. But there are other reasons now.”

“Now?”

“You did not tell me that you would offer for my hand.”

“I thought I would surprise you.”

She bit her bottom lip, an action I knew her to do when she was trying to control her anger. “Why? Why would you call for my hand.”

“Do you truly not know?” I whispered as we stopped walking in the garden.

She looked up at me and sighed. “Truly know what Calib?”

“That I love you. That my heart burns for you with each passing day, each lonely night…”

She rolled her eyes and walked away from me. I’ve been hurt many times in my life but that action alone made me feel like death could come over me at any moment. I walked to her, trying to control the pain in my voice and asked, “You do not love me?”

“I did not say that.”

“If you truly loved me you wouldn’t have ran from me.”

“I did not run.”

“Could you look me in the eye and tell me that you love me.”

I turned her to me and she was looking down. “Zaria?” I pleaded this time, this woman was making me plead, and she looked up at me.

“I…..” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I am sorry.” She released herself from my grasp and walked away from me, again.

I closed my eyes and tried to hide my tears and finally asked, “Is it him?”

“What?” she asked.

I turned toward her and asked. “Is it him? Your Lord Giovanni?”

“I…” She tried to say something, but then stopped. “Will I hurt you if I tell you the truth.?”

I walked to her and looked down at her; it was now I realized how small she was and only nodded. She sighed and looked away from me. “Aye.”

I waited for more words but my heart was not prepared for it. “What?”

“Aye, it is Gabriel.”

I wanted to do a thousand things to Zaria and was surprised when my arms flung to her own and shook her hard. She looked at me in disbelief and then kicked me in the groin. I kneeled over in pain as I felt another blow to my face. “I am sorry that I have hurt you Calib, but do not treat me like one of your wenches.”

I could only think of the pain from both blows, I felt the bitter taste of blood in my mouth and put my head between my knees. I heard her sigh, then kneel beside me in the grass. “Calib, I did not mean to hurt you but you took me my surprise.”

She made me face her and started to rub the spot on my face that was burning from her touch. “If it makes you feel better I…I’m honored you felt you would want me as a wife. Now come, I will take you to your chamber.”

I only nodded as she helped me up and escorted me to my room. I wanted to be angry at her for hurting me both physically and mentally but I couldn’t think of giving her as much pain as she had given me. It was that night that I realized how much I loved Zaria Fairavard.