Soulmate

"Mandie, I'm just glad you're okay."

A sigh came from the other end of the line. "Thanks, Brian. Me too."

"Yeah, if you're out again and some creepy guy's bothering you, don't hesitate to call me. I will be there in a heartbeat and the guy will regret the day he was born."

"Okay, I will. You know, it was so scary when the guy who hit on me at the bar was waiting by my car after I left. Glad I was able to flag down a cop on a Segway to get him to go away."

"Yeah...I would hate to know what intentions he had with you. There are some real creeps out there, so you want to be careful going to bars, especially alone," Brian warned.

"I know."

"Don't forget, though - if you need me, call me."

"I will. I'm so thankful to have such a protective big brother like you."

"Aww, sis. Of course. That's what I'm here for. Anyway, I'm supposed to go out later, but if you'd like me to come by and keep you company, I can do that."

"No, no. I'll be fine by myself," Mandie reassured him. "I'll probably find something to binge on Netflix. You say you're going out?"

"Yeah, I'm hanging out with Lexi. We're gonna visit our old neighborhood for Victorfest."

"Oh wow, Brian…you've been into her since you were in church youth group together. You're still stuck on her?"

"No, Lexi and I are just friends. Sure, I was into her back then, and don't get me wrong, she's still a pretty girl. But we were sixteen, and that was a long time ago."

"Yeah, it's been, like, a decade, but when I hear the way you talk about her, I can tell you still have feelings for her."

"No, I really don't. That was a long time ago. We're just friends. It's fine."

"Okay. Anyway, you two have fun, and we'll talk again tomorrow."

"Sure, sis."

"And thanks again for checking up on me, Brian. I'm so lucky to have you as my brother."

***

It was a sunny August afternoon, and the summer festival held in the field and adjoining parking lot of Saint Victor Catholic Church was in full swing. Hundreds of people from the surrounding area flocked to the event dubbed "Victorfest," enjoying activities such as thrill rides, carnival games, and a traveling petting zoo. In addition, stands with beer, soft drinks, and festival food such as hamburgers, elephant ears, funnel cakes, corn dogs, and fried Oreos dotted the lot. Local vendors also hawked their wares, and merchandise was being sold, including festival tee shirts and canvas bags.

Brian, who was wearing a green polo shirt, khaki shorts, and brown sandals, strolled around the festival grounds with his friend Lexi, who donned a white crewneck T-shirt, long navy blue skirt, and white flip-flops. She also carried a beige knit crossbody purse. While enjoying the sights, he was eating a corn dog, while she enjoyed a puff of pink cotton candy.

"Victorfest is quite popular this year," Lexi mused.

"Oh, totally," Brian agreed. "There were a few lean years, but glad to see things pick up. It's such a neighborhood institution."

"For sure. It's funny. Our church has never been a huge fan of Catholics, but they could never take away from the fact that Saint Vic’s is so involved in this neighborhood and does a lot of great things."

"True. Pastor Tom has said for years he wants Liberty Lane Community Church to focus more on 'saving souls' than 'fun and games.' He always says, 'The gospel should stand alone.'"

"I get it, but I would imagine that doing more community-focused activities that weren't so blatantly evangelism-related would make it easier for people to listen to what our church has to say."

"Yeah, maybe so. Lexi...do you wanna go on the Ferris wheel?"

"Sure, sounds fun." The friends threw away their snack wrappers and got in line for the Ferris wheel.

Once on the ride, the two looked out from the side, seeing the solidly middle-class neighborhood below, filled with rows of similar-looking bungalows and Craftsman-style homes. As they ascended, they also noticed the local businesses dotting Main Street and Liberty Lane, as well as the church they attended throughout their childhood with their families, and still visited most Sundays.

"Our neighborhood is so beautiful. It's not something I've noticed before, but it truly is wonderful. Think of all the history, and that so many of the generations past have worked to build and maintain it, so we have this marvelous place we see today," Lexi reflected.

Brian nodded. "You can see the beauty in the things most people see as mundane, the kinds of things they take for granted. You're awesome for that."

"Thanks."

"Oh, by the way, Lexi, you look nice."

"Uh…thanks, Brian. You do too. Green's a great color on you."

"Ah," he replied, smiling.

After a few moments of the friends silently taking in the atmosphere, Brian continued the conversation. "This brings back memories. Remember when we would come out here with our friends from youth group, and we would compete to see who could gobble up the most deep-fried Oreos and milk?"

"Yeah," Lexi responded, chuckling. "And then we would get onto the Scrambler to see who could keep everything down?"

"Ugh, that was so gross. Aiden would always lose. Our youth pastor would always get so mad at us. But we couldn't help it, we were so easily amused."

"Oh, for sure. And I would hang out with you guys because doing stupid stuff like that was more fun than gossiping with the other girls about who liked who. And Sister Lauren, the youth pastor's wife, she would always pull me aside and say how 'unladylike' I was for doing 'boy' things."

"That's ridiculous. It was great having you along with us. You fit right in."

As the ride ended, Lexi commented, "Hmm, I'm hungry. What can we get here that's more filling than cotton candy?"

"There's actual food here, but I'll tell you what. We can head over to my apartment once we leave here," Brian proposed. "I'll order a pizza, that'll be cheaper and a lot more filling than anything here, and we can play Monopoly."

"Oh, that sounds perfect. We haven't done that in years. Let's ride the Pirate Ship, and then we can go to your place. Sound good?"

"Yeah, let's do it!"

***

"I can't believe you got Boardwalk!" Lexi screamed exuberantly while she and Brian were playing a spirited game of Monopoly on the balcony of his apartment unit. "You already had Park Place!"

Brian laughed. "I suppose I'm just lucky like that."

As they continued playing while enjoying a medium bacon pizza along with soft drinks, their conversation turned to their current lives.

"I meant to ask you, but I assume you got the invite for Darrell and Kate's winter wedding?" Lexi asked.

"Yeah, I did. I take it you did too."

"I got it earlier this week. It was the cutest invitation."

"Are you going?" Brian wondered.

"Yeah, of course. What about you?"

He nodded. "Planning on it. Maybe we can go together."

"Uh…sure. But they gave me a plus one, and I assume you got one too."

"Yeah, I did."

"You never know what God will have in store for us between now and December. One of us, or even both of us, could have somebody new in our lives by then."

After they finished up the round, the friends continued to talk while sipping soft drinks and enjoying the fresh air.

"I've been thinking a lot about this lately, especially with so many of our friends getting married and having kids within the past few years," Lexi began. "What do you think about the concept of soulmates?"

"Good question. I believe God has someone designed and set aside for each of us. And as long as we trust and follow God, he will give us that soulmate. That's what we've been taught in church, and I hold onto that promise."

"I still wear my purity ring from when we made purity pledges in youth group to save ourselves for marriage. It's so important for me to give myself to the right person."

"Of course. That matters a lot to Jesus."

"But what if the church has it wrong?"

"What do you mean? You don't think purity is important?"

"Yes, of course I still believe that, but that's not what I mean. Maybe marriage is just a matter of finding somebody compatible, then just doing the hard work, communicating, and such, to make it sustainable. I wonder if, as Christians, we mystify marriage too much."

"I don't know. Lexi, I believe soulmates exist. We simply need to have our eyes open to it. Have you ever thought that your soulmate could be right in front of you?"

She reached across the folding table and placed her hand on his forearm. "Brian...you've been my best friend for, like, ten years, ever since I moved here with my family and joined Liberty. I cherish our friendship too much to change that."

"I understand."

"You're the most awesome man I know. You're fun, generous, trustworthy, and loyal. Any woman would be lucky to have you."

"Thanks, Lexi." He then changed the subject abruptly. "So, you wanna play again?"

"Eh, we can do one more round. I'll be the banker this time. Then I'll take off. It's getting dark and I'd prefer to beat the drunk traffic."

"Makes sense. Alright, you can get everything set up, and I'm going to get a Sprite from the fridge. You want anything?"

"I'll have a Coke."

Brian stepped inside, into the kitchen. A few minutes later, he emerged with two opened cans of pop. He handed the Coke to Lexi, while he held onto the Sprite.

As they began playing a new round of Monopoly, she took a healthy sip and noted, "This tastes off."

"Hmm, I probably didn't have the Coke in the fridge long enough. Sorry about that."

Reassured by her friend, Lexi drank more as she stared at the Monopoly money with glossy eyes.

"Ugh…Brian…I think something's wrong…"

***

Brian woke up the next morning to the sound of his alarm clock.

"It's eight AM," he muttered to himself. "Time to get up."

He turned over in bed to see a woman next to him. Her clothing and bag sat atop the chest of drawers, and she was out cold, covered only by a green bed sheet.

He then rolled out of bed, entered the en suite bathroom, brushed his teeth, washed his face and shaved, then took a long, hot shower. He toweled himself dry and returned to his bedroom to decide what to wear.

As he sat on the bed pulling up his socks, the woman began to wake up. After a short time, she sat straight up, silent but eyes wide in terror.

Brian turned around, his eyes meeting the woman's. Her eyes conveyed a mixture of stark fear and deep betrayal. His were vacant.

"Lexi…I…"

Ring! Ring!

Brian picked up his cell phone, which was on his nightstand, and answered it.

"Hi, Mandie."

"Hey, Brian! I'm surprised you didn't call me when you got in last night."

"Yeah, I was wiped out, so I turned in."

"That makes sense. Going to church this morning?"

"Sure, sis. I'll be at the nine-thirty service…"

------------------------------------------------------------

Author's Note & Rationale:

Belle's "Us and Pigs" Unofficial Challenge

Belle's challenge is the first time I ever heard of the song "Us and Pigs." These lines in particular inspired my short story "Soulmate":

I ate dinner with beasts

Wrinkled hands and red cheeks

Looking at my body like it's food

And your breath smells like bacon

You ask "What's the special occasion?"

Like I dress and dance just for you

...

Does it have to happen to your mother'

To your sister or your daughter

For you to take it personal? Oh-oh-ooh

While listening to the song, I had an uncomfortable realization.

When reflecting on sexual assault statistics in the United States, my home country, it dawned on me that the majority of perpetrators are free, unencumbered by criminal records and registries, and living life among us as if nothing happened. Outside of the survivors, and perhaps other individuals and institutions who have enabled their behavior, most of us are none the wiser.

As a exvangelical (former evangelical) who tends to write stories critical of beliefs and practices in American evangelical culture, my intent was to write a tale about a man who feels entitled, which is a theme I also see in "Us and Pigs," and tie it in with the misogyny inherent in evangelical purity culture.

In "Soulmate," Brian feels the need to protect his sister from predators, yet he preys on his best friend Lexi, essentially leading her to the slaughter. While in the song, these behaviors are presented as contradictions, I believe there is a throughline of misogynistic entitlement behind both behaviors.

Within purity culture as I experienced it, there is an expectation for men to gatekeep the sexuality of their female family members in the name of protecting them. On the surface it appears to be a positive impulse, but beneath the surface is a sense of possessiveness and a lack of respect for the autonomy of female family members.

At the same time, men are viewed as sexual beasts who can only be held back by the modesty and prudence of women. The expectation within purity culture is that with faithfulness to God, men are entitled to a woman of their choosing for marriage, and sex is confined to marriage. Men's improper sexual behavior related to women and girls, regardless of consent, is blamed on the woman (or girl), the man considered nearly blameless within church communities.

"Soulmate" is a reflection of these issues within evangelical purity culture, and how, despite its claim to "protect" its adherents, it can provide cover and justification for predators.