Smurf’s Zingaloo

Looking out of the glass door, my dog Smurf ponders, upon life or the smell beneath his feet. “What is out there waiting for me?” “Do we truly know what is beyond this invisible door?” “Why do my feet smell like rabbit pee?” I’m just a dog so they say, but is it wrong for me to believe I’m so much more than that. Hi sorry let me introduce myself. My name is Smurf Meeks and I believe everything stinks, but sometimes the unexpected thing can taste very good. You know like the poop squirrels leave behind that taste just like peanut butter, but it smells like your back side. Sorry to put it so harshly, but you humans make my nose turn up with the odors you have exploding out of your rear end. It’s okay sometimes I stink too.

Anyway, as I look out of this door, I can’t help but wonder is there more out there waiting for me. My time here is short, so I want to make the most of it the best way I know how. I want to smell the smell of all smells and taste that unexpectedly good thing everyday. It could be buried under that mulch right now and I wouldn’t even know it. That’s what I’m going to do later today actually, dig in that mulch until I find something astounding. Now as a small male Maltipoo I don’t do much digging, but when I do I feel this rush of unknown power taking over me like I’ve always been meant to dig. That is probably why my feet have the stench of rabbit pee. I must have dug near a rabbits hole the other day. Okay wait wait nothing is making any sense. My brain has taken you all over the place.

The point is I’m lost. Lost in a human world trying to figure out if I go out this door will today be the day I find that mind blowing good thing I’ve been waiting for all my life. I’ve come close over the years. I found it once in a dog bigger than myself. Her name was Sugar and she was kind also very patient. I would have done anything for this yellow-haired trick. I even disobeyed my owners strict rule about not crossing the road to see her and Sugar still end up leaving me for a rabbit of all creatures. After that, I never looked at another dog the same. That’s when I started digging more frequently. Hoping that if I dug far enough I’d find that spark in an newly discovered bone or maybe some new flavorful poop would have that zing.

The imagination is hope enough for me to keep digging. I keep having dreams and visions in my sleep that some other creature is digging on my turf searching for my poop. After I approach this figure off in the dark distance, we end up fighting over it. Soon, we realize that if we work together we may find that poop a lot faster. Of course this creature was a lassie, but she was a smart one. She was about the same size as me, but she was outwitting me in everything. I never thought to take the rocks out of the hole as I dug. That’s probably why I only dug 3 inches a day. That’s still far for me because it used to be 3 centimeters. Don’t judge me slow progress is still progress.

I do have the upper hand though I am stronger because she can’t move the rocks by herself she needs me to do that. She is not all that if you ask me. *hmph* can’t even move a rock. Her name is well I don’t know what her name is stupid bitch won’t even tell me in the dream. No matter how many times I ask she will not tell me. I really don’t care because we are getting closer to this poop I can almost smell it. Trust me I know what an almost smell, smells like. It’s very aromatic! The scent is getting stronger as we dig deeper and deeper until dang another rock. It’s just another rock. Everytime it’s another regular old rock.

Now this ignorant lassie is barking in excitement like we struck poop. She barks louder and louder at the rock! My eardrums can’t take anymore so I start to bark at her hoping she will shut up, but as I’m barking I start to notice the dirt around us beginning to shift. The rock begins to crack and I start to get a whiff of a wonderful scent. She looks at me and I look her. We are both thinking the same thought in that moment bark louder! The rock is almost completely broken up, but it still would not break on barking alone. So I stop because I’m like that’s it so close again yet so far. She barks at me to encourage me, but it doesn’t work. So she barks one more time at the rock herself and it’s the loudest bark I’ve ever heard! This time though she adds in a push at the end and the whole rock bursts open!

This is the strongest dog I’ve seen in my entire life. She’s the same size as me, smart yet weird af, but she’s unexpectedly good. I’m so in awe by her that I do not notice what we just uncovered. She snaps me out of it with another bark. As I start to gaze upon this poop, I realize it wasn’t just poop! It was a whole new extinct species surrounded by poop! We have uncovered an entire new extinct species buried in piles of their own poop! They were obviously very excited or scared shitless to die this way, but the smells! The taste! It was something I could have never done alone. She says you know what, “We should call them the Zingaloo Crew.”

I think wow this is the smartest thing this lassie has said all day. Our explorations that day led us to becoming best paw pals. Right after that I wake up because now I have to turn my dreams into reality and go find this stupidly amazing bitch who’s name I don’t even know. Hoping that as I’m digging one day she just might step onto my turf. Humans think the excitement lies in their trinkets, but as a dog I know our excitement lies in finding each other. That’s the unexpectedly good thing I’m hoping for. To not be lost, not be afraid, unlock the zing within, and find my stupidly amazing bitch so we can go on fun filled adventures uncovering extraordinary poop naming it Zingaloo.