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Small town fever dream

For the Epic Beginnings challenge

By Liam StormPublished about a year ago Updated about a year ago 1 min read
Top Story - August 2024
Small town fever dream
Photo by Thomas Griesbeck on Unsplash

Tank stood over the bodies. There were three, and he knew them all. Were they still people? A difficult question for him to answer, and not the first question he expected his brain to fish out of the questions he had swimming around in his head.

The bodies were mutilated past recognition, but Tank recognised them. He hadn't done the heinous act, but had found the aftermath.

His family, his parents - adopted, not many knew their real parents anymore - and his brother lay motionless, in pieces.

He remembered parking and walking up the drive. Upon entering the house via the front door, he found no one. Without anyone in the kitchen or living room downstairs, he scoured the house from top to bottom and found no one, yet they should all be home.

He didn't know how long he'd been standing there, in front of the opened garage door, but the light was fading so it must have been a while. He made a decision and walked trance-like to the phone hanging on the wall in the hallway.

999.

They arrived in minutes, a small town and the station wasn't far away, Wednesday evenings weren't busy, and this was big news. A triple homicide.

Tank was preparing himself for a vigilante streak, to hunt down and find his family's killer, to get his revenge.

Somehow it was only then that he noticed the blood on his own hands.

And it was at that point that the police officers saw the change in the young man, it was like a switch had been flicked, and the innocent man standing in front of them had been replaced.

Tank understood now that the man he saw in the mirror everyday wasn't just a bad dream, but a living nightmare.

MicrofictionMysteryShort StorythrillerYoung Adult

About the Creator

Liam Storm

I currently work as a thatcher, but love the art of writing a narrative, currently I am working on putting my ideas onto paper and creating a book. In the meantime I create short stories to keep myself, fiancée and two dogs entertained.

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  2. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  3. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  1. Expert insights and opinions

    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

  2. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  3. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

Add your insights

Comments (20)

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  • Antoni De'Leonabout a year ago

    This was short but yet captured the deed and the outcome perfectly. Congrats are in order.

  • Cindy Calderabout a year ago

    Back to say congratulations for the 2nd place win for this amazing story!

  • JBazabout a year ago

    Congratulations, I really feel this is a great contender for the challenge

  • Testabout a year ago

    Hey Hey Mr Storm, just taking Vocal by storm today!!! (I think I'm punny 😅) First he sneaks a win with Mr. McEvoys challenge and then gets 2nd on the most discussed story of the week! Not too shabby, congrats! 🥳

  • Hannah Mooreabout a year ago

    Good work, this felt like a lot more story than the word limit would allow!

  • Sean A.about a year ago

    Great job, very fleshed out for micro fiction

  • Mackenzie Davisabout a year ago

    I was very absorbed in this! I became quite sad when I realized it was ending, haha!

  • Snarky Lisaabout a year ago

    Deserves to be a top story!

  • Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊

  • Cathy holmesabout a year ago

    This is great storytelling. Congrats on the TS.

  • Testabout a year ago

    This was a very compelling read. I especially liked the ending, but the entire story was extremely well-written. You captured a lot of emotion concisely.

  • Esala Gunathilakeabout a year ago

    Congratulations. I appreciate it.

  • JBazabout a year ago

    Back to say a well earned congratulations

  • Testabout a year ago

    Oh!! Liam this was such a creepy and unexpected twist!! I loved this!! Congrats on Top Story my friend!! 🎉

  • Pamela Williamsabout a year ago

    Great descriptions. Interesting

  • Alyssa wilkshoreabout a year ago

    This is so profound. Fr

  • Oh wow, does he like have a split personality or multiple personality disorder? Loved your story!

  • Cindy Calderabout a year ago

    A fairly accurate description of a killer indeed! Great descriptive writing and intriguingly mysterious.

  • JBazabout a year ago

    So much in so few words, a great character development. We know so little yet there was a lot of hints. Excellent

  • Rachel Deemingabout a year ago

    Great tension towards the end, Liam to that last line. Nicely done.

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