Small Hand and Foot Prints; Big City Girl

Phoebe could not wait to leave the small farming town she grew up in. Phoebe had always dreamed of big city living and the thought of having to continue the family tradition of farm living was something she knew was not for her.

Ever since third grade when she started to spend her school holiday breaks and summers learning to milk cows, mow grass, shovel animal droppings, plant and pick vegetables and the dreaded canning of all sorts of things that she felt just did not belong in a darn can. She never understood why her grandmother and mother insisted on canning.

Phoebe would help around the farm because she had to, but the entire time she would day dream about running away to a big city: taking the train, bus, or hailing a taxi like she saw in TV shows and movies.

During Phoebe’s senior year all she did was count down to her summer paid internship at Mauve, a hip digital magazine headquartered in New York City. Phoebe would be attending fashion design school that coming fall and the internship was just what she needed to learn more about the fashion business.

Phoebe’s family was not too happy about her decision to leave her small Texas town but they supported her decision. The weeks before graduation were filled with so many fun activities and family events that made the time fly by. On graduation day Phoebe was all smiles. All she could think about was “Just one week and New York City here I come.”

The days after graduation Phoebe did her duty and helped around the farm. She still detested the milking of cows and shoveling of horse and pig droppings but she did it happily knowing her time as a “farm girl” would soon be coming to an end. Soon the only shoveling this big city girl would be doing was going to be through racks of clothes in big department stores is what she kept telling herself. The good life.

On the bid day Phoebe was so happy, her family especially her mom were all a complete mess. They all kept saying “You know you do not have to go” and all Phoebe could say was “Yes I do have to go.”

The see you laters at the airport were a lot to handle, so many tears, hugs, and advice. Phoebe’s mom told her at least 100 times not to talk to strangers, do not drink any alcohol, hold your purse tight on the subway and not to go to any parties. Phoebe gave her last hugs and headed through the security checkpoint. After she walked through the metal detector, gathered her bag and put her shoes on she looked back and saw her family all still standing there. Mom was still crying, they all were waving and saying “We love you”. Phoebe waved and smiled and she saw her grandma giving her two thumbs up with a huge smile on her face. Grandma winked and blew Phoebe a kiss. Phoebe threw her bag over her shoulder and gave one last wave and then headed to her gate.

Phoebe’s first few days in the big city were filled with so much activity she barely had time to return all of her mom's texts or phone calls. Her days of interning at Mauve were jam- packed with meetings, running out to grab lunch, coffee for the staff and learning all she could ever imagine about how a magazine runs.

Phoebe became a pro at hailing her taxis, calling for an uber, and taking the subway. She had access to fashionable clothes, one of the many perks of the paid internship. Phoebe was so used to wearing crocs and tennis shoes but she had hardly worn either since her first week of interning.

Phoebe each day got so many compliments for her hard work, creativity and willingness to help. Most of her co-workers could not believe she was so new to big city life. Mom still called a lot and sent her daily texts. Phoebe knew she was missed at home and she missed her family too but she just loved her new life.

Phoebe knew her trip back home to Texas before the official start of fashion design school was coming up. She was dreading heading home for two weeks to the farm. Even though she had only been away for two months she had no desire to ever milk another cow.

Phoebe’s internship ended with an invitation extended to her to come back the following summer; that news made the trip back home more bearable. She was happy to know that the next summer she would be too busy to work on the farm.

On the morning of her trip back home Phoebe was up early, grabbed her coffee from the street, hopped on the subway and made her way to the airport. The entire flight Phoebe was anxious. She landed and headed to baggage claim and walked out to the pick up area and there was mom waiting and waving. Phoebe threw her suitcase in the back and hopped in the car. Mom hugged her and then started a barrage of questions.

When they pulled up to the farm Phoebe smiled. Phoebe and mom made their way inside and gathered in the kitchen with the rest of the family. They all had so many questions about the big city. Phoebe answered every question and laughed when her mom asked if she had been mugged at all. They all laughed at how ridiculous the question was.

Phoebe was happy to be home.

The next morning she got up early and sat out on the porch. As she sat there Phoebe's eyes wandered over to the barn door. The sun was shining so perfectly on the barn that it almost looked like someone had painted a picture of the barn. The barn where all the canning was stored had never seemed appealing. Phoebe kept gazing at the barn and after a few minutes she got up and headed toward the barn. As she walked she kept thinking how grateful she was that she would not be home for canning time.

Phoebe pulled the rickety door open to the old barn and there sat grandma on the farm table bench. Grandma looked up with that sweet smile. Phoebe smiled back as she looked around the drafty run down space. Grandma gestured for Phoebe to take a seat next to her. Phoebe sat down and grandma just kept smiling and staring at Phoebe. They both sat in silence for a while just looking around.

Finally grandma broke the silence. Grandma with that warm smile said “Phoebe you seem so happy, I can tell you have outgrown this place.” Phoebe did not say anything back, she smiled and nodded at grandma. As grandma grabbed Phoebe's hand tears started to run down Phoebe’s face. Phoebe at that moment sitting next to grandma in the barn wished she not outgrown the farm. The look on grandma's face was that of both sadness and care as to say it was okay that Phoebe had outgrown the farm.

After sitting for what seemed like hours Phoebe and grandma decided to head back to the house. As they walked toward the barn door Phoebe looked down and saw her hand and footprints that were molded into the cement with her name beside them in her best five year old writing.

Grandma also looked down at the prints that had been part of the barn floor for years. Grandma smiled and turned to hug Phoebe and said “You definitely have outgrown that hand and foot size and that is just fine, just as you outgrowing this small town is fine.”

Phoebe felt a knot growing in her throat. She smiled at grandma and grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. At that moment Phoebe knew all was well and that it was fine to leave the farm and no matter how much she outgrew those hand and feet prints she would always have a home on the farm.