Sinderel

Sin is far from being malicious, spiteful, petty, or tumultuous. Sin is quite the opposite of all that. Sin is determined, loving, firm, kind, beautiful, and stands on business. Sin started out wise beyond their years, maturing at a young age and this led up to a crossroads. A crossroads where a child had to choose between a life of regret or a life of heavy responsibility. Sin, being as wise as they were, decided to choose the life of heavy responsibility over the weight of regret for a lifetime. Sin had become a slave to this life of heavy responsibility. She traded in her easy going life for one of sweat pants, messy buns, and children. Can Sin be rescued from this life of heavy responsibility or will she forever be a slave to it? This is the story of Sinderel.

Sinderel had become a mother of three by the age of 22 while still looking 16. Her youthful appearance and small frame allowed for very few people to take Sinderel seriously. She too frequently had to demand respect and lately she was losing the fight. She had also lost her nickname, Sin, long ago and did not miss the jokes that came with it. She did miss who she was before she became a mother. She had more self-confidence, self- control, and control over environment, choices, lifestyle… the list can go on, but the one thing that never came was regret. She did not regret a single thing, but she did miss a lot.

She missed freedom of choice and freedom to come and go as one pleases. Being a mother meant a world that revolved around raising kind, good human beings…all the time. All her time, energy, thoughts, and actions focused on her children and she unknowingly became a slave to motherhood. She enjoyed being a mom, but the lack of balance between individuality and motherhood was applied pressure on Sinderel’s life that went unnoticed. She said yes to everything for her children and said no to everything for herself. Sinderel was good at masking her feelings and this applied to more than just motherhood.

The days were long, but the years were short, and before Sinderel realized she was single, about to turn 40, and her kids were adults out in the world doing their own thing. She never married her children’s father and she felt good about that. She would have regretted a divorce and deep down she always knew it would not work out between them. What she was not ok with was how stressed out her face looked. Sinderel neglected herself and this included simple things like moisturizing, brushing her hair and teeth, even changing her socks. Surprisingly she never smelled or had bad breath to anyone else so that made the neglect all the more easier.

She was staring at her face in the foggy mirror studying her eye bags, crow eyes, skinny cheeks, and dry lips. When did she let herself go so badly? The kids went to every dental appointment for the last 15 years and she never went to one. She felt some guilt and sadness building in her chest so instead of crying, she picked up her phone to Facetime her sisters. She had two sisters with Sinderel in the middle. She spoke to them daily, but she has not physically seen them in over a year. Schedules and moods never aligned, but Facetime always did.

*blooooppp blooooopppp*

“Wassssuuuupppppppppppp”

“Wasssssssssaaaaaaapppppppppppp”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

Sinderel never lost her sense of humor. Janelle, Sinderel, and Ruhnel were goofy, lively, and fun to be around. Ever since they saw Scary Movie, this became their signature greeting.

“How come no one has ever told me I have raccoon eyes?” Sinderel whines.

“We have always told you,” Janelle retorts, “but-”

“But I don’t think I ever listen to what you say” Sinderel fires back.

“Then why do you call?” Janelle says with an attitude.

“I don’t call you, I Facetime”

They all laugh.

“No, but for real, my face looks so stressed out. I know I haven’t used castor oil in a minute and it shows.”

“You need more than castor oil to repair that damage. Tell me you have kids without telling me you have kids”,

“Oh, you finally decide to say something, baby sister. What are you doing over there watching a murder game show?”

“They have a show like that?” Ruhnel asks as she pops her head in frame.

“They have a show for everything. Listen I called to feel better about myself, not bicker”

“But bickering helps us all feel better,” Janelle and Ruhnel say together.

“I think I am going out by myself tonight,” Sinderel says with an unsure tone.

“You don’t sound very confident and you shouldn’t be. That doesn’t sound like much fun. You are not fun-”

“WTF Janelle!” Ruhnel is snickering in the background while Sinderel and Janelle are having a staredown. Janelle whips her neck at the camera and Sinderel rolls her eyes,

“I am fun, especially not around you! I’m over this, I’ll talk to my evil sisters later.”

“Evil? Now who is being harsh, I didn’t even do anything,” Ruhnel says and hangs up.

“Do you know mom adopted you?” Janelle adds in right before she clicks the red button.

Sinderel sucks her teeth and says,

“I am fun and I am going to have a lot of it today.”

Sinderel was ready for all of it. Although she was nervous, she was ready. She’d been waiting for this moment and it was finally here. She was parked outside the restaurant double checking herself in her mirror.

“A girl can’t have fun on an empty stomach.” She sighs with confidence, grabs her purse, and heads out. She makes it inside and is seated at a table. Sinderel takes off her jacket, bobbing her head to the music and looking at the menu. She is so engrossed in all the choices she does not notice someone looking at her.

Ten minutes pass before Sinderel looks up and is ready to order. She takes a sip of water and cues the waitress. It was at this moment Sinderel noticed the eyes on her. She immediately felt butterflies in her tummy and tingles in her fingertips. She knew that stare-it was a carnal stare and she was surprised at her body’s response. Was she that desperate? She was able to order but once the waitress left, Sinderel saw her admirer get up and come straight for her table. Palms sweaty and heart racing was Sinderel really ready for this?

“May I join you?” Sinderel pauses at the question as she is not expecting it. She thought her admirer would say something else.

“Do I know you?” She questions back.

“Do you want to know me? Because I want to know you.” Sinderel is slightly amused, curious and cautious. After all, this is a woman standing in front of her. A beautiful woman who is interested in Sinderel and Sinderel has noticed all of it.

“My name is Bella and there is something magnetic about you that has drawn me closer to you inch by inch since you walked in here. May I join you?” Bella repeats her original question and Sinderel is even more intrigued.

“Yes. Yes, you may” Sinderel is shocked the words came out her mouth, but she continues to go with it.

Sinderel continues to go with it for the rest of the dinner and finds herself wanting to leave with this woman, but how could she? Someone she just met...this is the beginning of those murder podcasts Ruhnel watches. Sinderel is brought back to reality when Bella asks,

“Do you want to continue the night with me and go to The Lounge?” Sinderel hesitates at the question. Was she about to do this? Was she really about that life? Sinderel thought maybe if she threw some cold water on her face she could think clearer. Just as Sinderel was going to say, Bella says first,

“I need to go to the restroom. Looks like you need another minute to decide anyway. Let me know when I get back” Bella says as she winks and proceeds to leave the table.

Sinderel was not about to go to the bathroom with her so she stayed at the table. Did she want to leave with Bella? A small feeling inside wanted Sinderel to get up and run, but Sinderel wanted to reason with it.

I thought you was ready for it all. This is just the beginning.

I thought I was ready. I was not expecting this.

What did you expect? You already knew this. Don’t fight authenticity.

I don’t know her.

But you can get to know her.

She’s a stranger and I will not end up on one of Ruhnel’s murder podcasts.

At that thought Sinderel jolts up and tries to dash but she tripped over her feet and the table landing flat on her face. She quickly recovers, grabs her purse, and heads for the door. Her shirt gets caught on the corner of something making her almost fall again, but she catches herself and makes it to her car speeding off.

“WHAT WAS THAT SINDEREL?!?!?” Sinderel yells at herself as she races home. “NOT ONLY DO YOU DINE AND DASH BUT YOU MAKE A FOOL OF YOURSELF DOING IT?!?!?” Sinderel takes some deep breaths and continues to talk to herself,

“What was I running from anyway? A girl? I was running from a girl??? Get a hold of yourself, Sin. Sin?!? I’m really tripping out. If fate wants me and this girl to connect, fate will make it happen and after the show I just put on, who knows what that will be.”

Sinderel doesn’t live far from the restaurant so she makes it home in about 15 minutes. When she gets out of the car she notices she is missing her jacket, a shoe, and there is a huge hole in her shirt and jeans. She has her phone and bag so not everything went wrong. She throws her purse down, takes off her one remaining shoe and heads straight for the bathroom. As soon as she finishes, there is a knock on her door. Sinderel freezes.

There is no way Bella knew where she lived. She had not given her her address.

Knocks again.

Sinderel makes her way to the door and looks through the peephole. She stares through the peephole for about 10 seconds then opens the door,

“You dropped your wallet and ID when you fell,” Bella says with a smile.

Fate.

Sinderel opens the door and invites Bella inside. No regrets.