Silence says everything

When I woke up this morning, the sunlight was scattered all around, and everything was visible in its light. There is a Peepal tree in front of the window of our house; when I looked at it, I saw that many new and very clearly shining green leaves had come out on its branches, and then I saw the same Peepal tree falling on the ground. It went on the leaves, many of which had now mixed with the environment. Due to this, the color of the land and those leaves had become one.

Suddenly my thoughts went toward life. Our life is also like this. Sometimes like bright green leaves full of hope and happiness and sometimes like those old fallen leaves lying on the ground. At this time, my life is just like the scattered fallen leaves on the ground. Would you like to know?

My name is Raghav Bakshi, 45 years old, and I live in a rented house in the Pitampura area of Delhi city with my 17-year-old daughter Kiran and 13-year-old son Shrey. For 20 years, I have worked in at least 8-9 reputed multinational and big Indian brand companies. I have headed the marketing and business development department of these companies. I have had many opportunities to do such work in my career, which have proved to be a benchmark in the industry. But today, I have been jobless for the last three years. I didn't do any work in the previous three years; whatever small piece I got, I did my own consulting and opened a small call center, but only failure came my way. Income is expenses, due to which a lot of debt was incurred on me, loans from banks, etc. That's enough to know about me.

Now meet my wife, Sukirti. Sukirti was diagnosed with cancer a year and a half ago, and we lost her forever. We came to know that Sukirti had cancer just five months before her departure during a medical check-up, and within just five months, we lost our 40-year-old full of life Sukirti forever. Before Sukirti came to know that she had cancer, our life was also like the shiny green leaves of that Peepal tree. Sukirti had taken care of everything. There was great energy inside him; she did whatever she decided at a young age. She opened her beauty salon, learned to drive a car, and did everything that seemed impossible for a typical household child. Perhaps this is the name of life, sometimes all the things that seem familiar to us, we realize how special they are later.

After the departure of Sukirti, life became like fallen leaves scattered on the ground. As soon as he left, we had to sell our house because of my job loss. As if everything was hers, she was everything, and everything was gone as soon as she left. Only 'silence' remained. Even after a year and a half of her passing, a life full of loneliness, silence, and sadness continues. I used to stay in the house and had the habit of drinking earlier. Also, I used to have little control due to Sukirti's fear. Although earlier also, when he used to drink, he did not count the pegs; sometimes, he was unconscious. After his departure, it has become like a routine. The bottle opens in the evening, and sometimes after drinking at night, it becomes morning, and the bottle ends. The heart longs to do something different, but the mind does not work because the senses are not fulfilled. I wait to change my life or meet my beloved again. And when you don't understand anything, then in the evening, you move silently towards the stage, thinking that today's day has passed. Now you have to spend the night, for which silence of the heart and mind is necessary, and the support is only in a bottle has remained confined.