Sights of Blackness

Waves crashed when Esther Posey saw the door. No one else populated that Rehoboth Beach, Delaware stretch of sand at this time early in the morning. The sun peeked over the land. The upright beckoned her. With sunkissed skin and a blue and gold sundress to match, she walked through the sand, sandals in hand. A growing sense of dread washed over her as she approached the door jamb. The door stood closed. She inspected the area. Nothing hindered her. Fingertips floated over the surface of the door. Smooth to the touch, she communed with the painted door.

Esther peered through the keyhole and music began to play. She could only see blackness, but the sound increased and coalesced with the sound of the waves. She stopped viewing. Shaken a bit, Esther looked around on the sunny day where no one else occupied the sands around her. When she looked through the keyhole again, this time she smelled champagne and the pungent smell of crabs. Still no image, though.

She, nevertheless, embarked on the mission of discovery surrounding this door by the ocean. At last, Esther ventured to turn the knob and enter through the portal. Once she entered, she observed men in white ties and tails. Women danced to the organ music pumping throughout a great hall in full dresses. She looked down and saw herself decked out in an evening gown. The gold and blue sequins shimmered in the burning gas lamps all around.

Smiles greeted her. The constant motion of the people enticed her. She decided to grace the dance floor and participate. Everything looked appetizing. Huge globules of dim lights surrounded her. Some people sat and dined on oysters and wine. As she moved closer to the bar, a surge of confidence flowed through her frame.

In the time it took her to go from the door to the counter where they served champagne and waitstaff carried magnum bottles, she laughed. It was a mirthful little chuckle, and a smile spread across her face.

A woman behind the bar planted a glass of sparkling rosé in front of her. She lifted the glass and toasted the room. Booming acoustics and precise licks from the live band played classical and jazz tunes. This effervescent feeling pervaded her being. Like golden touches of sunlight dropping down on the black faces in the crowd, everyone rose and swayed. The gaiety of the moment had not been lost on her.

As Esther continued to sip from her platinum chalice encrusted with diamonds, emeralds, and sapphires, she found herself going around like a circus performer, knowing and agile. By floating through the room, she recognized not a single face. Before she could properly assess the people flowing in and out with exactitude, she sipped some more. A twinge of pain colored her face. A man with three hundred and sixty degree waves in his hair noticed her sudden frown. He reached out a hand. The pain assuaged. He didn’t say anything, he just grinned. He took her glass away and handed it to another man. They exchanged glances and shared a hearty, noiseless laugh.

His six foot six inch frame toured over her petite self. Esther looked down and back up again and smiled. Her hand met his and they took to the floor. Spins and dips allowed her to continue on this pathway to pleasure. Joy burst forth as she shimmied. The man never uttered a word. His black skin matched Esther’s own. Out of the corner of her eye, Esther could see the workers waving their hands in the air with agility. For the rest of the moment, they just used their eyes.

She motioned to speak, but the man shook his head. Esther smiled. To banish the thought this place appeared rather odd, she continued to do her dance. Then, the music stopped. Lights flickered brighter three times, and she looked into the man’s eyes. He raised both hands in the air and waved them. The rest of the room followed the same gesture. Music resumed. He clutched her hand again and lower back and picked up the synchronized dance again.

For her to notice she had no watch, no clocks dotted the area, and time continued to melt into the next moment, Esther nourished the emotions of a carefree existence.

Every step she took produced in her a sense of dread, however, but this time her visage never revealed this feeling. She wondered if she’d ever get back to the beach, to her home in Wilmington, Delaware. Pangs of misunderstanding coursed through her body. Comprehension remained sparse. Down on the gilded floor, lights illuminated. Bright white bursts of color guided the dancers. Under her feet, she found vibrations. The man never took his eyes off of her. They continued on this harmonious journey. Esther looked about and saw men and women using sign language to order more potent potables.

She pulled back from the man. He didn’t say a word or look flustered. He simply looked astonished. The tall man bowed in her presence and absorbed himself with the next woman who came through the door she had entered. Esther had never seen her in the past. Her tall, ebony self glided through the room. She had a bald head and pearls around her neck. The man took hold of her and they began to dance. Esther wanted to know who she was and if she could escape through the door.

As she picked up her flowing gown, she walked closer to the door. This seemed to be a task. The dance floor seemed like it widened. Esther felt herself getting a bit woozy from the drink and with calmness and a bit of liquid courage, maneuvered through the space. In the most elegant of ways, she twirled through the crowd. Her steps became furious, however. Careful not to disturb the other patrons, she edged closer and closer to the door. A sense of relief engulfed her. Esther turned the knob. Locked. Panic sent shockwaves through her. Again, she showed no signs of worry as light continued to glint in her eyes. A tear streaked her face. She shook, pushed, shoved her way to the bar somehow without bothering anyone. She tapped on the glass of the sparkling counter. The woman at the bar turned at the abrupt rapping. She approached Esther. Smiling, she sought to help her. She took out a quill and parchment and shone a candle over the pad. Esther’s worry lines in her forehead began to show.

She didn’t know what to write. All she wrote down was, “door.”

The barmaid then took the pad and wrote on it. Still smiling, she simply wrote. “Never.”

Esther wanted out, now. She didn’t want the flowing gown and the glowing lights all around. She wanted to get out of this place quickly. Her heart thundered in her chest. Some sweat showed on her brow, but not too much.

Something was happening and she wanted to know what desperately. The yearning for her place at home in her apartment became an obsession, a driving force behind her will to see the other side of the door again. She cursed herself for looking through the keyhole…for listening to the enchanting music…for following the lights.

If, she thought, the door opened again, she could make a run for it and try to break free from this phantasm. Everything felt lovely and the entire scene looked magnificent, but she had bills to pay and a place of employment where she could earn funds to pay such notices. This dreamy place became a nightmare. Esther looked about for a phone or anything that didn’t look like it came from the early twentieth century. Nothing. Her only hope remained for her to time when the dances stopped. The bald night-black woman with the pearls who had entered earlier had come in only moments after the tune had ended.

A schedule formed in her mind as she became a wallflower. Some suitors came up to her and she politely declined their entreaty. The music stopped again, the same hand motions occurred once again. Esther drifted towards the only exit in view. She walked even faster and faster. She stood beside the door. When it swung open, she found a portly man laughing in silence, spilling his champagne somewhat on his shirt and dabbing it. Esther made a move to go around him. The door slammed shut before she could even get a chance. Sobbing didn’t come to her easily. Now, though, she felt like crumpling up into a ball and weeping. But she didn’t broadcast this to the room.

Instead, she just stayed planted and denied requests to go back onto the dancefloor. Every motion seemed like gum stuck on her shoe. Time continued to melt into the next minute. All of her reserves, patience, kindness, and pluck began to run low. The dancing came to an end again. She had another opportunity when the door had been cleared but a host of showgirls in fluttering white feathers and diamonds strutted past her. They looked like a wave of black swans with bleach white corsets and wings.

The door flung open and then shut right before she could discover her outlet.

This time, a man walked in with a black tuxedo and tails. He looked over to where Esther remained glued to the wall, in hopes of finally getting out of the place.

“Don’t I know you?” the man asked. He looked billy club black. He was about six foot even.

“You don’t but we’ve got to get out of here,” she responded. “At least I do.”

“Why? There’s a glorious party going on here.”

“Yes, and I’d like to get back to my life after the party,” she snapped.

“My name is Algiers Holson.”

“Esther.”

“If you want to leave, you can go at any time you want.”

“But I just saw you walk through that door, which is otherwise locked….”

“And….”

“And I’ve been having a hard time escaping from this bizarre world.”

“Come on. Let me show you the way.”

Holson stretched out his hand and grasped onto Esther’s. The entire crowd stood back and made a lane for them to march forth. Esther looked up at Holson. He wiped away a tear on her cheek. He put his arm in his and they walked in slow motion towards the door. It swung open and the salty air of the beach and gulls shrieking overhead filled their minds. The rest of the dancers and waitstaff all put their hands in the sky with palms facing each other, forming a five handshape, and gyrating their hands as if they were clapping. Pyrotechnics shot up to the sky and music blared. A symphony struck chords in Esther’s soul.

Just as they were about to cross the threshold, the door slammed shut. Holson turned to her.

“I apologize if I didn’t inform you. But you must stay here, locked in time, swaying to the music.”

“But I thought we were leaving….” Esther almost sounded choked up.

“Alas, that’s what our other visitors thought, too. We just show this as a way of not being. When that door opens, that’s all there is…a place to walk into, not out of,” he mentioned. His tone had lowered but then the band struck up again. More music pumped and the ground vibrated. The dancers resumed their little steps and broad theatrics. Esther sensed some sort of relief. In a way she felt tension being released.

“C’mon,” Holson suggested. “You and I are the only ones who can understand each other like this. You’re going to be here for a while, so it would behoove you to just enjoy yourself and remember that we’re all here together, forever.”

Esther inhaled sharply. “Okay,” she looked about the room and once again observed the sheer happiness of the people around her. She peeled away from Holson’s grasp and shot a glance at the door. She jetted over to the door and looked through the keyhole a last time. She couldn’t hear the crash of the waves or the see the sunlight. All she saw was blackness.