SEPARATION

You’re doing it again


I know


You felt the shift
The pause
The delay
The tone change you pretend not to notice


I noticed


Then why are you still here


Because noticing isn’t the same as reacting


That’s new language
It won’t save you


It’s not meant to
It’s only meant to keep my head above water


My head’s above water


Barely
You’re treading here


You think I’ll drown?


Might as well

You’re waiting
Watching
Counting seconds between replies like they mean something


I’m listening


No
You’re monitoring
You do this every time you think you’re about to be replaced


I’m not being replaced


That’s what you said last time
And the time before that
And the one where you stayed quiet so long you forgot what you needed


I need them to stay


Lower your voice


Why?
You afraid they’ll hear me


I’m afraid you’ll run the show again


I keep us alive


You keep us small


I keep us wanted


You keep us tolerable


That’s not fair


It’s precise


You don’t understand what it feels like when the warmth goes flat
When interest turns mechanical
When you realize you’ve become familiar instead of chosen


I understand
I just don’t confuse it with proof


You think you’re better than me now


No
I think you’re tired


Don’t soften it
Say what you mean


You learned this early
You learned that love required vigilance
That staying meant adjusting
That being easy meant being kept


So what?
It worked


It cost us


Everything costs something


Not everything erases you


You’d rather be alone?


I’d rather be intact


That sounds clean
That sounds rehearsed


It sounds practiced because it is


If you stop chasing, they’ll leave


They were already gone


You don’t know that


I know how it felt in my body
I remember being alone while someone was still there


…
That’s worse


Yes


I can fix this


You always say that


I’ll explain better
Be softer
Be quieter
Be easier


You’ll disappear


I’ll survive


You’ll endure


There’s a difference


If we stop trying they won’t come back


GOOD

They weren’t coming back for you
They were coming back for access


You’re cruel


I’m finished lying


What if we’re not enough?


…


Then let that be true without punishment


That feels like death


That’s separation
Not abandonment


I don’t know how to live without watching


You will learn


Promise it gets easier


No


Say something


I am


No—you’re just standing there

…

You’re still going to miss them


Yes


And you’re still going to want to go back


Yes


So what changed?


I stopped confusing want with permission

I still feel the pull

I just stopped calling it destiny

That doesn’t make it quieter
It makes it honest

I notice the same moments

The slight shift
The pause that invites interpretation


The silence that leaves room
for us to lean in?


Yes
The silence that leaves room for us to lean in

You’re observant
That was never the problem


Then why does it keep costing us?


Because you used awareness
as a reason to reach


To adjust


To stay available longer than was fair


That’s because I want it
I deserve it

I worked real hard to keep it


I still want it too


You do?


Yes


Then what?


You stop begging for proof
You stop negotiating your worth
You stop calling intensity love


And if I reach for them anyway?


Then you’ll feel it fully
Without excuses
Without stories


I don’t want to feel this alone


You won’t be


You said panic ruins things


It ruins silence
It doesn’t ruin truth


I’m still here


…

I’m scared

…


I know

…

That’s because you’re done negotiating


Who—


The part of you that kept waiting for it to make sense

…


I need closure

NO

…


Why not?

Because closure is a negotiation

…


So that’s it?


YES


No explanation?


NO

…


Then what do I get?


Yourself


I don’t like how this feels


You’re not supposed to

…


Then say it’s over


It doesn’t need to be saidStart writing...