Secrets We Keep

Excuse me that is my personal belongings, do you mind and do not move you will get those ashes all over my new rug and this, politely taking the letter from his hand is personal property mister, I exclaimed. What is it Jasper asked? I told him, I’d gotten the house back in June. I had to make some repairs before moving in. When I got back after selling my apartment in Brookdale, I came into a mess on my floor in front of the fireplace. I began cleaning and found this in the ashes and debris left by the men. I believe it was written by my boyfriend Donavan, that is before he left me, I said sadly. Miss, this letter did not come from your boyfriend, I’m sorry he replied. I don’t understand what do you mean I said startled? This was a letter for your aunt Wilma, I know because I wrote it, he said with a pause. You really don’t know anything do you he said in a rattled voice? Did you hear the story of Sam and Emily he asked quizatively? No, I have never heard of them who are they? He mumbled under his breath words I’ve never heard before and began to tell me all about these people who were my family but, why had no one ever told us about these people? Sam as you know was killed, he was murdered by his father James Carey. James was Wilma’s son he had two children a son Sam and a daughter named Emily. Their mother had run off and left with another man, I’d always tell her she was going to kill herself or someone else, boy I was off had no idea it would be like this Jasper said with tears in his eyes. Hazel Carey was a wild young lady very pretty on the eyes. Everyone in town had their eyes one her and a lot of them had good times with Hazel. After she and James were married, she started using some heavy drugs, stayed drunk all the time. He would get calls all hours of the night to come get her off some man’s couch where she had passed out and God knows whatever else happened. James thought he could handle this until she came back, after being gone for seventeen months, being with man after man. James went off the deep end and killed their mother right in front of Sam and Emily, strangled her to death with his own hands. He tried to make things right, but it seemed the devil grabbed a hold of him and wouldn’t let him go, things got worse and worse he wouldn’t let the kids out of his sight scared they would tell. He took them out of school, they were never allowed to have friends or go any place because his actions were overtaken by fear for himself. As time went on James began to hear her shrills everywhere day and night he began drinking and using some pretty bad stuff also to try and rid the voices in his head. The louder they got the more insane he became, until he pulled out a 357 magnum and started shooting up the house, they knew they had to find a way out. This is when Emily decided to hide out and stay as far away as possible keeping a low profile. She would sneak food out to her little brother and blankets to keep him warm. She was faster and would risk everything to keep her little brother alive Jasper said sadly. Until that day he caught them, see he wanted to make an example out of Sam. I replied No wonder we were never told about them. How did Sam die I asked deeply sympathetically? Well, I’m not sure if you can handle the rest ma’am he said in a worried voice. I decided to move on asking where he would be staying and offered him a place to stay. Don’t worry I will find out, there must be records, right I mumbled under my breath? Jasper looked deep into my face and said Emily lived, you can ask her, it’s her story not mine She was released from the mental hospital a few weeks ago, she would love to see her family Jasper said with a half-smile, you might be what she needs to get through this. Where is Emily now I asked? He stated, she has been staying in a halfway house. It is not a very good place for her right now. Recovering rapists, drug addicts, people she doesn’t need in her life to bring her down. She is turning 26 this year, she was only sixteen when this went down. What? How? How and why do you know so much? They are my grandkids; James was my biological son. Wilma and I divorced when James came along, I was stupid and very selfish he said with sorrow. Thinking to myself, how is this possible? I’m beginning to think this man is delirious as I’m now showing him to the door to leave as fast as I possibly can. Jasper said to me ask your father about it please. As I am closing the door in disbelief as to what my ears just heard.

Chapter 2

Trying to process everything, I called Beth and told her I needed to come speak to her in a panicked voice. I left my driveway not knowing what the hell just happened and why? I get to Beth’s house pulling into her long, beautiful driveway towards the massive beautiful red barn just built two years ago. As I drive past, I caught a glimpse of this huge owl our eyes met, and it let out a call that made my bones cringe. It made me feel as though maybe I should go speak to Emily and just maybe help her to get on her feet hearing this tragedy that hit our family even if I’ve never met her, she needs someone. As I get out of the car I was met by Beth on her porch. As she closes the front door she whispered to me, shhh John is in the bed sleeping he had a rough night last night. You know since he has been doing this chemo thing it’s really drained him. What I exclaimed? Why didn’t you tell anyone about this Beth? Margie please, we did not want anyone to know. I expect you to keep your mouth shut she said grouchly. What was so important that you couldn’t wait to speak to me? I told her about Jasper and all he told me and at that moment I knew I was going to go see Emily. Beth said to me motherly, I do not want you to get yourself into all that, you can’t save the world. I won’t make any promises Beth she is our family. But you do not know her and people who have delt with that much trauma is more than likely to do the same to others Beth said. I cannot believe that though, I believe I was put on this earth to help the people God put into my life. I’m not quite sure why she was brought to my attention at this moment but I’m surly not going to give up on her knowing she could use someone’s help, I said positively! Not knowing what is yet to come, I told Beth I have got to try. It will help me also to feel as though I’ve done something good in my life ya know? Beth shaking her head again telling me, “you can not save everyone”. I looked at her and said I am only trying to save our family, Beth said with a sigh nothing is going to change your mind is it? Nope, I said with wide open eyes as I leaned in and gave her a big hug. Beth I am going to pray for you and John about this sickness and I know he will be ok, I just have to do this for Emily our family and myself. Well Margie I love you be safe and call me as soon as you get back!

Chapter 3

While I was packing my bags to get going on the road, I ran across an old photo album that was hidden in the top of my closet. As I began looking at the old photos, I seen pictures of Emily and her brother Sam, both smiling. Then I came across James and Hazel’s wedding photos, man she was beautiful no wonder he had a hard time keeping up with her. She belonged in a magazine, gorgeous blue eyes, very good shape and her hair was vibrant long blonde almost white. It made me think why people would do things to ruin other people’s lives especially her own children. Guess I’m going to find out soon enough huh. Guess I should have realized how far the drive really is, Oh my goodness...ugh.. Oh my goodness I screamed loudly banging my hands on the wheel. I pulled over after driving three hours to grab a cup of coffee and get gas, boy I was about to run out I said aloud standing at the pump, then a voice that caught my attention spoke in my direction. Ughum the man cleared his voice my ears couldn’t wait to hear him speak. Mister Bleaming um hi, funny meeting you here I said surprisingly. Well, well how are things going with my business he said amusingly with a smile… I was freezing so I grabbed my coat and turned back to him and said with a smile maybe you should stop by and find out sometime? He looked down at my shoes and asked where are you headed if you don’t mind, he asked? Oh, me well I have to go check on my cousin she was in a very bad situation and I just feel she needs to be around her family at this time, ya know to help her get through the rough parts. You certainly are an intriguing woman, how much longer you got? I believe about forty-five more minutes going by the gps. I hope you have a safe trip and who knows I may make a trip through just to have a look around you know make sure everything is to my standards he said charmingly. My heart was beating fast but as I said before strictly business, I know what his kind is all about, so I finished getting the gas and got back in my car watching him get into his car we waved goodbye again. “On the road again” playing on my radio as I finally heard the gps telling my you have reached your destination.

Chapter 4

Jasper had planned for us to meet at Angelo’s Pizza on south main street. Emily was as beautiful as her pictures maybe more she was more grown up now. As we talked and got to reminisce about Aunt Wilma I learned some interesting facts about her things she had kept from us like I didn’t know that she and Jasper were Ice-skating champions three years In a row. I asked Emily if she had given going back with me to Taborsville any real thought? Emily replied half smiling, I feel as though I could probably find something around her one day that will help me get on my feet. I said Emily I have such a big four-bedroom home, your very own private shower and a job already waiting for you. Please I’d like to get to know you, you are family. I’d like to help. She said with a beautiful smile yes, how can I say no to that? I have had nothing but… then she stopped. Are you ok I asked concerned? She had tears fill her solid green eyes and said she said I just don’t know what I am going to do without Anthony, he has been my everything. He started out being my nurse and we have been inseparable for ten years until I was released last week. He stops by to check on me everyday before going to work she said sobbing by now. I don’t see why he couldn’t get transferred that is if that’s something he is willing to do but honey we have a wonderful staff waiting to meet you also. I do understand leaving or loosing someone so dear, it is a process, but I can help get you where you would like to be in this life soon enough.

Chapter 5

As we started getting closer to my little country house Emily woke up in a panic, she had sweat dripping from her forehead, I knew right then this might be more than I bargained for. Are you ok, I asked? Yes, she replied with her eyes all glazed with tears. Emily I can’t even imagine what you have been through, however I am your family, she cut me off and said loudly yeah that is what made me like this family… I was lost for words at that point. I really didn’t know what to say, then she looked at me and said I am broken you know. You really are taking a chance on me. Someone you don’t even know she said with heaviness in her voice. You know I am real sorry for being the way I am I just have no control sometimes that is why I really hope Anthony well honestly I call him Ant it’s shorter laughing finally. What a beautiful smile I said to her while laughing. We were just pulling into the house, Emily’s eyes so wide and bright. Is this yours, she asked? I said nope it is ours with love in my voice. I don’t know why but I felt a real connection with her for some reason. I had fallen in love with that beautiful young lady, the way she laughed, her cry, her everything was perfect. I came to realize that there is more to this world than just myself.

Chapter 6

I showed Emily up to her room and brought up all her belongings. I decided to give Emily the bedroom upstairs it was a loft area unbelievably cute fairy lights warm and cozy queen size bed beautiful bed covers curtains to match the whole nine yards. later that evening Emily finally settled in, she came down to the kitchen to grab something to eat she asked me did you know my parents? No, I told her Jasper informed me of the tragedy he told me to ask you about it that it is your story. Emily glazed into my eyes turned and said you must be one of those sickos that pray on people that are damaged I was warned about people like you. That is not true at all I exclaimed!

Chapter 7

I was able to get Emily a job, finding that cooking was apparently in our blood she loved it. She was always smiling and singing. I think she changed me also. I felt I had a purpose now and seeing that beautiful smile made my day every day. Emily was eating breakfast, standing in the kitchen watching the news as I came in from my morning walk. I asked if everything was ok, she looked at me and said my name is Em please, she said this with a weird expression I've not encountered before. She made me feel very on edge for some reason. Ok Em, is everything good today I asked. Emily began crying as if she lost her best friend not knowing what was happening, I leaned over and started to hug her she jumped up screaming in a panicked voice this is why I don't want anyone near me. I tried calming her the best I could when she ran out the door. I grabbed my keys and went out looking for her she had started running I couldn't keep up not even in my best shape and I have put on some pounds since my breakup with Donavan. I found her at my neighbors' barn with the horses. I walked to her and asked is there anything I can do to help with hope in my eyes. She said wiping her tears from her eyes looking deep into mine she said he is dead. I asked who, please tell me who are you talking about? Anthony, I was watching the news this morning, they showed his picture on the news and said he killed himself. I know it is because I left, she had begun screaming again blaming me for taking her away from him. I did feel a little guilt hearing her say this to me, that is until penny came out. Penny hi, sorry for being loud I said warmly. Penny looked at Emily and said that is not the reason and if you would have watched the rest of the story you would have seen that Anthony was caught with an underage child and he didn't want to face what was coming. How long did he do that to you Emily Penny asked concerned? Emily didn't know what to say, she just looked down and said he loved me then fell to the ground sobbing loudly. I left Em there with Penny I told her to call if she needed me, I had to get to work. On the drive to work I wanted silence no music, no laughing, I was so mad that someone could take advantage of people like he did. I also thought to myself I am so glad I had gotten her away from him before I wasn't able to. See God has a plan for us all we just have to be willing to listen and do.

Chapter 8

When I arrived at work, I noticed a black suburban was pulling into the parking lot up to the VIP section. Oh, great more bull shit this early in the morning I mumble under my breath as I walked inside. I grabbed a cup of coffee then realized who the black suburban is. Well, well if it isn't our fearless leader laughing out loud. RJ Beaming, I see you finally made it back I thought you might have forgotten us with a sigh I said. He replied with a smile I couldn't forget about you. I just seen you a few weeks ago. Um, not more like two months ago I said matter of factly. You know you are the only one I let correct me I'm not sure if it's the eyes or the ass RJ said with a devilish smile. At that moment Emily walked in and his eyes met hers and hers met his. I could feel the chemistry in the air, they seemed like two peas in a pod, as my grandmother used to say about two people who were great together. RJ this is Emilhy Carey my cousin she just started in the kitchen well almost two months ago. Margi this is who you were picking up when I met you at the gas station. I thought it was fate that I met you at the gas station, but it was her. His mouth still open wide in bewilderment over how beautiful this woman is. He seemed to be dumb stricken, I've never seen him like this. Emily smiled and went on to do her work, while I was left to deal with this, I'm not sure what you want to call RJ at this point. He spoke to me in some other language as he stumbled his way out the door. Later that night I received a message from RJ telling me he would like to have a meeting in the morning to learn about all the new things we have been creating in his kitchen, I was excited that he was interested in what we had going on here that is until I realized it wasn't about that at all. He wanted to know everything about Emily. Why?