Rushing Shadows

*chirp* *chirp* *chirp*

I open my eyes. I’m flooded with confusion. I reach up to touch my face, groping around for my glasses, but they aren’t there. There is nothing but a blur in front of me. Blurry blobs of colour bleed together.

My head hurts. I reach up to touch the top of my head and wince as I encounter a sore spot. I don’t remember hitting my head but the evidence suggests I have.

*chirp* *chirp* *chirp*

I struggle to push myself up into a seated position, my head throbbing in response to the change in posture. I fumble around beside me, feeling fuzzy fabric beneath my finger tips. The surface I’m sitting on is swaying back and forth and my body rocks along with it. I press my palms into the seat beneath me, steadying myself.

I can hear the rhythmic screech and squeal of something mechanical. I don’t know where I am. I just know that I’m on something that’s moving quickly.

*chirp* *chirp* *chirp*

I keep hearing this incessant beeping coming from somewhere nearby. I am still bewildered. My perception feeds me information but I can’t make sense of it. The sounds and sights are unfamiliar to me. Except for the beeping. The noise is slowly working its way through my brain. I begin to recognize it before I can put words to it.

I close my eyes as a brief snippet of memory plays in my mind. I visualize the tops of my purple and white sneakers running down concrete steps. I’m glancing behind me. I think I see a shadow at the top of the staircase.

*chirp* *chirp* *chirp*

The chirping jolts me back to the present and my eyes open again.

I look beside me and see a dark window. There is mostly blackness outside. I cannot make out any details without my glasses. I see the metered strips of light whizzing past.

It dawns on me that I am on a train, but that doesn’t make any sense. My city doesn’t have a metro transit system. We only have buses and I rarely, if ever, take those anywhere.

I’ve been on a subway once. I remember walking through downtown Toronto with my mom as we explored the city together. It had been exciting listening to the doors hissing open and shut. I had felt a rush as I’d raced off the train and onto the platform, and I remember grinning as I watched the train pull away, feeling like I had disembarked in the nick of time. Kind of like how the characters in films always manage to stop a ticking time bomb with one second left to go.

I glance down at myself now, taking stock of my body. I discover a few bruises but everything seems to be moving and working properly. My head is still pounding. I notice I am wearing a video game themed t-shirt and jeans with deep pockets. It’s my favourite pair and I wear them all the time.

I slide my hand into the front pockets and pull out a wad of cash and an old lip gloss. I pop the lid off and apply some immediately even though I don’t really need it. The hint of strawberry on my lips does little to comfort me.

The familiar scent triggers another memory flash. I’m at home, in the kitchen, laughing with my mom. She’s standing on the other side of the island busting a gut. Neither of us can hold back our amusement. I can hardly breathe as the laughs escape my chest.

*chirp* *chirp* *chirp*

The unrelenting electronic beeping again halts my flash of memory. I recognize the sound at last, and I marvel at how long it has taken me to put it together.

I raise my wrist closer to my face and tap the screen of my watch to stop the alarm.

I realize I must have set it so I would get up and watch the eclipse. I love lunar events. I have always felt a connection to the moon and the stars. I am temporarily distracted by disappointment as I’m missing seeing it tonight. Eclipses aren’t always visible from my own back yard. Who knows how long I will have to wait to catch another one.

I stand up, legs wobbly at first. I feel a wave of nausea wash over me and brace myself until it passes. Somehow I have to figure out where I am. I have to find my stupid glasses!

The train lurches forward and I stumble, catching myself on the seat across from me. I feel my nail scratch across a glossy surface. My glasses! I hurriedly jam them onto my face. They are full of fingerprints so I try my best to clear them off using the bottom of my t-shirt before sliding them back onto my nose.

Finally, I can see properly. I look around and confirm I am on an underground train. There isn’t anyone else in the car. It’s empty. A chill runs through me.

“Is this a dream?” I ask myself out loud. I fight to prevent the fear from taking over. I squeeze my eyes shut as if that will help me to think more clearly. Nothing emerges. My mind is blank.

I stagger forward, grabbing onto the sides of seats as I go. I pause to check my watch again. I need to orientate myself somehow.

There’s no service. I can’t access the weather or any information except I can see the calendar. It’s displaying the date and time as Thursday at 2:34 am. That information doesn’t help.

I decide I have to be asleep, having a nightmare, so I start jumping up and down, shaking my head, scratching my hands. I scream and it rings out loud and clear over the noise of the squealing train. I can’t scream successfully in dreams. My voice is usually stifled.

I still don’t understand. I start staggering forward through the train car once again. I want to get off the train but it doesn’t show any signs of slowing down. The electronic panel at the end of the aisle might have displayed the next stop, normally, but it is blank now.

I begin to feel stronger. My legs have stopped wobbling so much and I run towards the end of the train car where the door between cars is shut. I start banging my hands against the window and shouting whatever comes to my mind.

“Help! Let me out! Someone help me!” I scream. I know no one is coming and I start to panic. I need to get off the train. I can’t die on a train. I don’t even know how I got here. My life can’t be over yet.

I start to cry even though I know that isn’t going to help. I know I need to think of some kind of plan but my brain doesn’t want to function properly.

I allow the full panic attack to take over. I sink to the ground, my back against the cold train wall. The floor is filthy but I don’t care as I begin to sob. I just want one thing to make sense. One thing. I feel like I’m trapped inside a nightmare.

My mind drifts back to the memory of running down the concrete stairs. In my mind’s eye, I see myself glancing over my shoulder. I see that shadowy figure again. It’s gaining on me. I see thick, dark tendrils extending from the shape, stretching out towards me. It’s like the embodiment of a nightmare, trying to take over my thoughts. My foot drops onto the final step—

The chirping sound starts again and it halts my thoughts as I fumble to look at my watch. The eclipse alarm has already been silenced, so I know it can’t be that again. A message appears on the screen but I still don’t see any signs of a cell signal. I read it anyway.

“You’re almost here. Get ready. —G.”

I frown. Who is “G”? I wonder out loud. I am sweating now, still panicked and afraid.

I stand up. Fully losing it now, I spin in circles, feeling nothing but fear ripping through me. I scream again out loud and its reverberation sounds even more haunting to my ears.

I need to figure out where I am. Who is G?? I slap my palms against my head as if that will help make my brain work, the way people used to slam the sides of old TV sets to make the picture more clear. I only have a vague memory of it from my grandmother’s house as a child.

I run to the opposite end of the train car and bang on that door instead. I yell once more for help. Nothing but silence and stifling darkness answers me.

A flickering tendril of shadow appears in my peripheral vision, which isn’t clearly defined because it’s not covered by my lenses. I spin around, pressing my arms and back to the door behind me as I look around frantically.

I see no hints of the shadow anywhere. But a prickling feeling on my scalp causes all the hairs on my arms and legs to stand up straight. Goose pimples cover my body. I look up.

A brief flash of darkness shoots past, again outside my field of vision. But I know there is something there. Whatever it is, it isn’t human. It’s an essence of something and it makes my stomach twist.

—Another flash of memory takes over my thoughts. I’m racing down the concrete stairs again, glancing behind me to see a shadowy figure once more. I see myself miss the final stair step and fall forward, scraping my knees and palms. I get up as fast as I can and keep running down a long corridor. The brick walls look familiar. My old school?

No. It’s a church. I’m running through a corridor in a church. I’m looking for an exit sign but the nearest one seems miles away. I glance over my shoulder again and see flying black shapes everywhere, one single one moving faster and faster, looming as its form seems to expand to fill the entire hallway behind me.

I trip again but catch myself by throwing my weight towards the wall and catching myself with my arm. Pain overwhelms me from the impact, but I keep running. There is no way I will make it to the exit. I stop, heart racing, catching my breath. A haunting squeal emanates from the smoky, formless creature. It oozes fear and death. I see the sign for the toilets! I slap both palms against the heavy swinging door and push my way into the tiled room—

Suddenly, the train lurches to a stop, so quickly that it continues sliding against the tracks, making for a dreadful squeal escaping into the air. I fall forward and catch myself on my wrists, scraping them badly as I regain my balance.

I look at my arms and see where they were scraped and bruised from their earlier collision against the church walls. I had been running from something. It must have caught me.

I swear at the top of my lungs, repeating the same, useless epithet several times to relieve my stress. It doesn’t help. My heart is thundering in my chest. I am just standing there, numb, waiting for whatever comes next.

My eyes widen and I scream at the top of my lungs as all the lights come on with a loud bang, revealing an abandoned train platform. The doors all hiss as they fly open.

I freeze a split second longer before I run off the train, not wanting to take the chance it will start moving again if I don’t.

When I get onto the platform, I see the train has reached the end of the line. I’m not safe. Everything is wrong here, but I still can’t sort out what is happening. I see a shadow drift across one wall before disappearing around the corner of another concrete staircase.

My watch starts buzzing rapidly. I glance down to see my signal has been restored and 27 missed messages come flooding in all at once. I start to sob in relief as I see texts and calls from my sister Lani and my best friend Kara.

The texts are increasingly frantic and the most recent ones show the police have been called. My location will have been off without any signal, so they must be worried. I try to click reply to Lani but I can’t open the message. The screen is frozen. I jam my finger against the screen in frustration but it doesn’t budge.

I look around at the eerie, unevenly lit station. The train doors are still open. No one is waiting to get on or off.

I see the staircase, promising to lead to the outside world. If I can get above ground, I can see where I am. I know it is the middle of the night but seeing the open sky will make me feel better. I race towards the stairs, everything in me bursting for freedom from this waking nightmare.

Before I reach my finish line, someone steps in front of me. He is a tall man, wearing a dark coloured hat that covers his eyes and puts his face in shadows. I freeze.

I wonder where in the world he came from, as I had not noticed another living soul on the platform until that moment. I stand frozen and staring at him. “Let me past,” I said, ducking my body to move around him.

A firm grip closes on my arm, pulling me back. I grunt, angry and panicked.

“Let go!” I roar. I fight against the grip. I am determined to get back to reality and escape the train station.

The man chuckles. “After all this time, you still want to run,” he says.

A chill runs through me at his words. His voice sounds so familiar, and I gasp as the realization of his identity hits me. G!

—A smiling face stands before me, singing “Happy birthday.” I can see my cake, my 8th birthday party. I am looking up at him in my mind’s eye, smiling back at G. G is for Gavriel.—

“D-Dad?” I stammer. I go to rub my eyes in disbelief and nearly knock my glasses off my face. “But… you’re dead!” I manage to squeak out the words.

“I know,” he says with a smile. His grip on my arm loosens. “Welcome home.”