Rule Breaker

"I've legit always promised myself I wouldn't ever do this. What is my life coming to? You better be hella thankful for this!" Carmine was being all 'you should know you're indebted to me' when I have no clue what he was about to do and why that made me owe him something. I'm sure I do owe him a ton, but he wasn't specifying what exactly it was about this time. He sure enjoys being superior, doesn't he? He loves watch me be on the edge of my seat as I wait for what he's gonna say. I hate that.

Our bond is up to an excellent start.

"Hella thankful for what?" He's been making me so careless I couldn't hold it inside. I stretched my back by throwing my arms up into the air, before I laid into his couch like I've been in here every single day of my life. He didn't seem to care much about it, which was somehow disappointing. Part of me wanted to piss him off. Purposely.

"I'm gonna use my iM aN aCtOr card." He emphasized the last part of his sentence like it was the most disgusting and detestable thing that's ever came out of his mouth. He really does think highly of himself because I've known him for under 24 hours and I've already heard much, much worse. His mouth needs taped. Like that stupid saying I heard growing up; silence is golden but duct tape is silver. We're down to our last resorts here to make him shut up and I'm willing to give just about anything.

He was scurrying around the first floor of his house until he found his wallet by the TV stand. It gave him some sort of relief when he picked it up, and me being more blank than ever added to his ego. He knew I had no idea what was going on, and that's exactly how he liked it. He's a weirdo that liked having to explain himself. That gave him the attention he craved. Maybe that's why.

"Usually I have people go buy things for me you know? To avoid being tackled by paparazzi and stuff. But actors have automatic-understanding type of access to those type of products because we're unfortunately expected to look better than the rest of the population even when every one of us are supposed to have the same rank, so that the little girls with no boyfriends can admire us and cry in single alone in her bedroom. The catch? I have to go pick it up myself. So, please thank me, Oklahoma for being your personal delivery boy and making life possible for you."

His two fingers were placed gently behind his ear, as he waited for me to fall face down in appreciation and gratitude for the man that was tending to my needs, but the stinginess for praise couldn't fail to annoy me even if he did it for decades. I could never be immune. I let the glint in my eye free, so it can attack him with it's full power and capability.

"It's Arizona. Get it right." I finally had the gut to correct him.

"Same difference, Oklahoma." He ruffled my hair before he put the gap back between us. "I'll be going since it's dark and not as many people are out. I can say I'll do it tomorrow but I won't. I procrastinate. At least I know, right? You're welcome for the effort, honey. Toodles." Carmine spoke as he put on his jacket. As much as I hate him right now I couldn't deny that he was way too sexy for his own good. He walked his own floor like it was the red carpet and the sway to his footsteps made his life a runway. Well, frick. That's not ideal. For me at least. My heart is weak.

He turned around at the last moment when he gripped the door knob. "You're free to the fridge if you get hungry. Or whatever it is I'm supposed to tell a guest. Please don't go through my belongings but feel free to self-tour the house you'll be staying in according to the rules my mom has created that way too tightly control my life. I'm trying my best to be nice. Goodbye."

The door finally shut, and there I was, right smack in the middle of the mansion of Carmine Jung, that it itself was out in the middle of nowhere. A dream of any fan girl out there, and honestly, previously a dream of mine.

But not like this. This was different than those dreams could ever be.

******

I thought sitting in the same spot a little longer would get my head out of some imagination of mine that tried to convince me of something so out of this world in every bad way. I thought if I shut my eyes, it'd fade off and I'd go back to thinking of Carmine Jung as the actor I've admired discreetly and not as a human with a big head. I thought if I waited this off, I'd be back in my little shelter by the river that I've called home for my entire life.

But it didn't happen. When I focused back into what was real, it came at me abruptly. The carpet was so soft and fine I could mistake it for floating up in heaven, and there was a miniature chandelier straight above my head. I couldn't make these things up — not with this vivid of descriptions and most especially the touch. I've never seen anything like it before.

"Dang. So you're like rich, rich. You've been living like this while I've been living in the dirt." I couldn't help but to say it when I knew he wasn't around. To think that the house I was exploring that was such a huge deal to me, he only lived in when he wasn't in his home country, and wasn't even the place he lived majority of his life. His home was probably better than this. That made it beyond impressive. More than it already was. Now that I wasn't focusing on my awkwardness or irritation I could realize — wow, this place is beautiful.

Beautiful house sheltering a beautiful face. How splendid and cute, isn't it? But then it came to me, this beautiful house that shelters that beautiful face also shelters that very person's secrets. Including my scan score that he refused to tell me about, which seems like my business more than anyone's. It turned the whole scenario into a mission before the clock runs out. Before Carmine returns.

I snuck down the stairs into his basement without a care. It was tidied up for the most part, besides very few scattered items on a desk on the corner. I understood it as the room of his house that he didn't spend much time in, but that he's visit frequently to be in and out of it before you could count. The lighting was dim compared to other areas, so I skimmed the wall for the light switch. I found it sooner than I thought I would, that the brightness shocked me.

After adjusting to the change of lighting, I found there were tons of sticky notes up against his window. The room didn't have much color, so the color wheel was the first thing that attracted my eye. It was unlike this cocky attitude he always portrayed when in front of me, and for a second I started to feel compassionate toward him. We might not be that different in the end. As I do, he has a lot bottled up inside that he doesn't tell. He writes it down instead.

2016 - Dear Self, I guess you should be thankful that you even got a role in the first place after trying so hard all these years to no success. But it's such a little one. How can you ever get noticed like this?

2017 - Dear Self, congrats on more major of a role. This is what you've wanted all along. You would know that better than any because it's your own desire. But it's hard isn't it? Playing a villain. Those who are watching only care about the protagonist. Continue working hard anyway. Let's see where it goes.

2018 - Dear Self, you've got the leading role! It's underrated and the writer isn't too known so it hasn't been a hit, but at least you can say you tried your best. Playing a character that was so in love with a woman he accidentally met was hard. You'll get better in the future. Don't worry.

2019 - Dear Self, you played two characters in the same series. That's a really big accomplishment, even if you're not the lead. Good for you really! You can finally tell yourself you've grown so much over the years even with humble beginnings. You're starting to earn your own fanbase. This was the most awkward film ever to portray (especially yelling at myself lol)

2020 - Dear Self, the romance type of film is back again. "Taste of the Moon" it's called. This time, it has a well known writer and it's expected to make it big before it's even comes out. The same struggles of 2018 are coming up again but more intense because of the pressure. All those corny scenes that are supposed to make the viewer's heart burst, you're worried that you can't do it well. Just do what you can. Real fans should love you for who you are.

Imagine people loving you for who you are. Must be nice.

"So that's what you're filming right now, Carmine. It's a romance, hm? Why are you worried? You always do great. You've done amazing since 2016. Don't sweat it. You're a lot more down to earth than you act. I'm surprised." I talked to myself when I fell upon that type of info. As my eyes trailed along the sticky notes that were positioned lower on the window each year, they made their way to a little desk stacked with notebooks and previous scripts.

In the middle of it all, was his laptop. My scan score was right in front of my face.

"Bingo." I exclaimed. I pulled back the chair of his desk, but I didn't sit. From my standing position, I bent down enough to see the screen more clearly. It had a 4-digit passcode.

That's not ideal. It's far from actually.

I typed in things like his birthdate. 0712. Wrong.

Maybe the year of his birth? 1992. Wrong.

Well frick, I don't know. Maybe Nica? The name of his co-star? 6422. Wrong.

Yeah, the last one was a reach, but it was worth a shot. It would've fed my inner shipping heart, because they definitely have the cutest of chemistry when they partner up. That's why his current series is gonna be such a hit. I'm still a fangirl regardless of what my bond with him is to become or I guess for what it is.

"I didn't know you were my fan, Nebraska. Thanks for saying I always do great in my shows. That's sweet of you." Speaking of Carmine, his voice shook the entire basement, but there was something static about it that proved it was coming from one of the speakers down here. He wasn't literally standing behind me. I don't know if that makes it better or worse. "But obviously you're not a very devoted one because if you were you probably would've gotten into my laptop already. It's not complicated."

I rolled my eyes. That was one of the biggest offenses I could ever hear. Bish, he's my first love from the screen. How could I not be a true fan? Coming from him, it made my heart sting. "Can you see me?" I asked, to hide the pain.

"I have cameras recording almost everywhere, girl. It's a vacation house so if something goes wrong while I'm back home I want to be alerted, you know? You can't hide from me while you're in my house." He paused, and he did it not because he was struggling to find the words, but because he knew the words would sink into me if he gave it time. His confidence was radiating too high for it to be an accident. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I told you not to go through my belongings while I was gone, yeah?"

"Well about that—." I couldn't find an excuse, but I tried.

"I know what I said. You can't get out of it. If you tried, I can probably play it back when I told you." There was a chuckle in his breath. Even though I couldn't see him I was almost certain he was smirking. "Wash up. Your clothes are still covered in mud. There's a shower on the second floor, 3rd door to your right and in the cabinet behind you I have some extra clothes I don't wear anymore so you can take your pick. I'll be home in 15. Choose whatever room you wanna sleep in and be asleep before I get back. That's for the sake of your skin so it's part of the deal we have going on. See you, Virginia."

"Dude, you treat me like a kid. I'm a grown woman. I can take care of myself." I shut my eyes tightly, my arms folded out in front of me.

He pretended he didn't hear anything. "What's that you were saying?"

It wasn't worth the fight. It'd be a waste of my energy to argue. "I said, yes sir. I'll get to it. Turn off all your cameras while I'm busy with that."

"You've got my word. I'm more of a gentleman than you think. Get your head out of the gutter." With that, the static of his voice disappeared and I located the camera up in the corner when it turned off. He's been watching me from up there all this time, until now.

"All cameras disabled. 15 minutes until camera access granted."

It's a robotic voice that he left behind. That and nothing more. It was the one thing I could rely on for reassurance that I was actually alone. Fully alone without eyes on my back.

But I was timed. I could do what he asked but not the scheme I had in mind.

What a witty man.