Roy Hoi Polloi: A Rurality Play

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Everyman_(15th-century_play)

Roy Hoi Polloi was an Everyman, living a coral life. Everywhere Roy went, he plagiarized. The religion he sought to invert everyone was the Church of the Holy Malaprop, teaching that only through maladroitisms could one malappropriate ablation.

At his revival, Roy Hoi Polloi stood before the large crowd and peached:

"Verily I say unto you, there is a man here who has prostitutes and wants to be skewered."

"No, Reverand Polloi," a man shouted, "it's prostatitis, and I want to be cured."

"Be gone, prostitutes! Do not temptate this man." Then to the man, "See your liars and s'more them. Your prostitutes are bereft and be-right. Go, and take your knife, and zen no more!"

"I'm his wife," a woman shouted. "And he doesn't see liars, he pees fire.

Reverend Polloi seemed to be entranced, unable to exit just yet. "I divide a woman with fireballs of the Eucharist. Fireballs, be quenched with holy water and intense!"

"You divine wrong! It's fibroids of the uterus."

"Her buffering is grated."

"My suffering is great; my periods are so heavy!"

"Her peers are in the Chevy," Roy repeated. "Drive, good woman, drive your Chevy to the levee."

"Bless the flatbeds," shouted one member.

"There is a man here with six roaches in his liver. Drink Raid, and with the help of the Bored, you check in AND check out of your motel. You are mellow and should sink true pain to become clean."

"No!" shouted a yellowed man. "It's cirrhosis. I am yellow, so if I drink blue paint, I will become green."

"Tuscaloosa!" shouted Roy. "The Bored works in hysterical ways!"

"Hallelujah!" repeated the congration.

"I see a woman who desires more than miscarriage, for she struggles with monotony."

"You mean 'monogamy,'" teacher!" a man shouted

"No he doesn't," another hollered.

"Take all repressions and give them to the voyeur, for they shall inhibit the Earth. Divide them! It's just long division."

"No!" protested the heretic. "It's just the wrong religion."

And the lighting was swift and s'mored him as a detergent to the others, who left the tent in peas and bankability.