Reset Your Password

I stared at my computer. I’m not sure how long I’d been doing it for, but it had to be several minutes. I had been trying to access some important files from my past but had been met with a roadblock that I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to navigate in time to make my deadline. My password wasn’t working, and I had reached the point where it said ‘reset your password.’ But I feared that it wouldn’t let me do that. What if it asked to send a confirmation code to my phone. I had changed phones since working on those files and had likely not remembered to change the recovery phone number in the platform I was trying to access. That had been an extremely difficult time in my life. I’d changed jobs and found out that someone close to me had cancer. I was also dealing with receiving several phone calls a day from someone harassing me. I hadn’t even known the person. My best guess is that the person who had my number before me got rid of it to stop having an ex-boyfriend bother her. I unfortunately had to get rid of the number because of that. I had blocked the number in hopes that I wouldn’t have to get rid of my phone that carried so much of my life in it. But they just seemed to keep finding other numbers to call from. It had been easier to get a new number, than have to go through getting the police to find out who the lunatic was that kept calling me.

It was the fear that I wouldn’t be able to recover my files and submit my application for a photography fellowship in Ireland that had me staring at the computer instead of just trying to see if there were options to reset my password. It seemed so ridiculous once I snapped out of the trance, I was in. If I didn’t try, I would never know if it was possible to get the photos back or not. Usually I write down my passwords but sometimes I’m on the run and have to make a change in a hurry and I suspected that was why I had run into the problem. Either that or I hadn’t been attentive enough when I’d entered what I thought the password was. I do a lot of translation work and my keyboard is frequently in a number of different languages. Therefore, if I don’t ensure that my keyboard is in English, other letters or symbols might have shown up in the password when I’d typed it.

I suppose this is a lesson to me to slow down and pay attention to what I’m doing instead of just rushing to get it done. I felt like I might vomit because I was so stressed out. I could feel myself getting dizzy. I knew I should either try to reset the password or get up and get myself a glass of water and try to take some deep breaths, but I remained in fear mode. My mind raced with everything that could go wrong if I wasn’t able to get my files and complete my application. I also cursed myself for having waited to the last minute to complete my application. I had been telling myself for days that I had plenty of time. Well, news flash, mind, the deadline is four hours away and I’m stuck with a blasted ‘reset your password’ message.

I tried to focus. I closed my eyes and forced myself to take a deep breath. I reached for my computer’s mouse and hit the infamous button that said , ‘reset your password.’ Then I waited for the next screen to appear. I breathed a little sigh of relief as an option to reset the password using a phone number, e-mail address or security questions appeared. I selected the option for the e-mail address and proceeded to follow the steps that showed up on my computer. Then, I chewed on my lip while I waited for the reset link to come into my e-mail. I received it and proceeded to reset my password and retrieve my files. I was able to submit my files in time. And then, I began the unsettling process of seeing if anything else needed to be reset due to no longer having my old phone number.