Remember the Before Time

It was raining again. The sound of the rain drops pounding against the tin roof were by far the loudest noise I have heard in a long time. It was quiet outside. But frankly it was always quiet these days, especially in the E districts. No one hardly went outside unless it was for essential needs only. And when people did go outside, they tend to carpool. Not to help save the planet or anything, but for protection. There was safety in numbers. The E districts was nicknamed the quiet place. You never heard children playing outside, you never heard music coming from peoples’ homes or car stereos. It was just the sound of rain and an occasional car driving by. Silence meant safety. When it was not quiet then we knew there was trouble. I sat by the window and listened to the rain, I reminisced on what life was like in the before time. Before the riots, before the jurisdiction of marshal law took effect. I sat there in the attic clutching onto the heart shaped locket with their photo. Oh how I missed the before time. How I missed the laughter of my children and hearing their little footsteps running through the house.

Things were so different now. After the presidential election America was never the same. After the assassination attempt during the presidential inauguration, the entire Washington, DC area fell into shambles. Insurgents disguised as US secret service organized an ambush. In the matter of hours the nations capital transformed into a total warzone. For the second time in modern US history domestic terrorist stormed the streets of D.C. only this time they were determined to finish the mission. The attempts proved to be successful because within two weeks every major city on the east coast fell into a pattern of destruction. Baltimore, Langley, Philadelphia, New York and Boston just to name a few. All of them feel under the siege of insurgents. Ironically, as the cities on the east coast where fighting for survival, the cities on the west coast where fighting to maintain order. New jurisdictions were being implemented without warning. These were not laws, you still needed Congress to approve a law, but jurisdictions? Heck all you needed was a couple of votes from your city council and other areas of local government. America was transforming into this crazy place overnight and none of its citizens could do anything about it. In one year millions of people either fled the country or died trying. All fifty states were implementing something different to keep the citizens of their states “safe” but were we really. We did nothing but slowly and silently build our own prison. It was a nightmare that came true and worst there was nothing we could do about it. The very people who swore to honor and protect this country were the very people who held it under attack. Policemen, military veterans, emergency responders. Every man and woman who wore a uniform could not be trusted as it became harder to distinguish everyone.

I sat there in the attic and tried to meditate in the rain. I tried to remember their faces and the last time I saw them. How I held back the tears when I dropped them off at the airport. It was the last time any international flights would leave US soil. I gave them each a little heart shaped locket with mommy and daddy’s picture in them. I hugged them tight and told them to be brave. “Your going to go on a little trip with daddy and see some new places” I told them. I lied to my children often in order not to be peppered with questions. The thought of going on a family trip and mommy will join them later is a much easier pill to swallow. I stayed behind, not because I wanted to but because I had to. After the insurgent attack, other countries were closing their boarders and denying refuge to US born citizens. Because America was known as the quintessential melting pot, anyone who had true ties to other nations were allowed to return to their respective countries with no questions asked. This was great if you were an immigrant or a direct decedent, but this left many displaced, forced to live in such conditions. That was two and a half years ago when I said goodbye. Life has not felt the same as we continue to fight for the breakthrough. I had to come to accept that I may never see my children again. This was my new normal., this was my go forward. Until then sitting quietly in the attic and remembering the before time as close to normality as I was ever going to get.