Raising You

TRIGGER WARNING:

The verbal, emotional, mental, and spiritual abuse may be all-too familiar to some of you. I know it is to ME...

We found the letter; we did so by barging into your office space and going through your desk. For what were we searching...what does it matter? We born you, your desk space is our treasure chest...

We read the letter; something about "finding family in friendships." There was a differentiation between "the idea of family and the reality of the bloodline."

Who are YOU to differentiate between family and bloodline? Did your FRIENDS bring you up? Did your friends throw money, clothing, food, four walls, and a bed and wash at you? Say thank you.

Then again, you will not thank us. You are too mentally lame to do so. You will never be successful like your younger sibling because we SAY that you won't. You will never grow up to be an adult like your little sibling because we have deemed it to not be so; and being proven wrong hurts our feelings.

You speak of your own feelings about your upbringing. Who are YOU to be so selfish as to narrate your own upbringing and environment? Who are YOU to decide how to react when told that you will never amount to a damn thing? Stupid, foolish, selfish SWINE!

Your reflecting on how you were brought up hurts my feelings. Who are you to ask me to come face-to-face with how often I treated you wish scorn and contempt; when I wished to acknowledge you at all?

You speak out against this household and that is one thing. You coerce the congregation into looking at how they treat people and that is harmful to your mother's ego and feelings. DEPLORABLE NUISSANCE! You speak of yourself as an adult; yet you speak out against the congregation for their treatment against you rather than to shut up and smile. The evidence that makes your claims a reality only escalates how hurt your mother's sixty-eight year old, white, privileged, religious feelings are.

Yet who are WE to you; but the people who shelter you, clothe you, throw money at you, and stuff your face; while reminding you that you're too incompetent to make your own success story? Where would YOU be if our guidance into your life DIDN'T continue well beyond your adulthood? WORTHLESS RUBBISH AND FAILURE!

Would you RATHER live under a bridge than to have us remind you everyday of your incompetence? Do you WANT TO live in a box as opposed to revisiting the very intellectual people who scoff and scorn your existence?

Who are YOU to talk about liberty, freedom, and safety? WE lost a gated backyard by bringing YOU back into the fold! Who are YOU to selfishly mention a sense of safety in your own home? I want to talk more about a fenced in yard!

Go back to the church. You SMILE as the elderly members of the parish treat you like absolute rubbish whilst ordering you to serve with them. You GRACIOUSLY march alongside them to serve and usher while cliquish grandmothers and grandfathers look at your efforts to aid with absolute CONTEMPT; when they are not weeping on one another's shoulders because ONE weekend, you choose to sit in a pew. WORTHLESS SINNER AND HEATHEN! What does their GOD want you to do when one of His own wants to spit in your face? Have you NEVER smiled prettily, spoken politely, and turned the other cheek? Clearly, YOU are the unbiblical party in this scenario...

Dine with us as I beat you over the head with useless sports and politics; when I am NOT using family time to deliberately tell you how you have failed me as a man.

We made you PROMISES. We promised you a place of your own. When we took it away, we promised you privacy. When we refused to comply with that, we promised you no more dogs in the house until you were off on your own and, therefore, a dog was OUR decision to contend with. At my discretion, and because doing so amuses me, THAT promise fell through too. Where is my thanks for verbal promises that I had no intention of holding to?

USELESS. WORTHLESS. INGRATE!