rEs37 Y0uR P@s5W0rd

After the long journey home, a cup of brew and 30 minutes by my sofa was all it took to destress… So, why did I not do that this time? I leered at that damn white panel that shimmered on my specs, the old social media goblin was beside me and clawing my curiosity.

Tapping in my username, only to stall… Password? What was it? My birthday? My dogs? My name? My old D&D characters name? My favourite show?

One by one I typed in each combo, switching it out, changing the numbers and the symbols in a quirky manner. None of it seemed to work. Could hear me hear beating slow yet strongly, my cheeks felt warm and bothered. Itching my chin with my razor chipped nails, scratching and leaving the marks like chalk on slate.

“Come on…” I murmured and bit my nails while pedalling on the spectral bass drum that paced with my patience. “It’s gotta be something… Think…” Grinding my teeth and crunching them.

My stomach could hear the empty churns from the doors of my mouth and begged for something. As if I’d listen to my stomach when this problem is laid before me. I couldn’t just forget this problem. I needed to satiate the social media goblin of mine crawling at me with the temptation. I needed this win. I needed to open my account. There was something I needed to see.

As the pedalling of the imaginary bass drums sped with my dwindling patience, the snare was struck. Caving in. My thumb was coarse from the bricks I laid today and yet they were shaken up by the press of the set of words.

“Reset… your… password.” I murmured to myself as I tapped it slowly.

The next page buffered and with it the panel for the login flared with the shameful words that got the goblin cackling at my defeat, the shame of these words ever present. Reset Your Password.

“You’re getting senile… Dementia getting to ya?”

“Shut it…” I looked to my shoulder as I could hear it. “Gah… Just tired… Give me a break.”

There I was tapping away filling out that 2 bars of defeat. Just the good old email address linked to the account and the username. Couldn’t be any simpler, right? Wrong. I was stuck on the page, looking at the three words while the goblin kept mocking me.

“What the heck do you want?!” I slammed the dining table along with my phone. “Shit! Why is this all happening now of all days… I can’t even pay the bills…”

The phone had cracks all over and the image on the screen was distorted by the cracks and the partial dimness. My fingers couldn’t slide the bar down to increase it any further. I definitely messed up my phone.

“All I ask… is just one damn moment…” Looking to the phone huffing and bound to swear I remember my promise as I looked to the swear jar. “I didn’t swear… yet.”

Picking up myself off the ground on my knees, some of the stray glass pieces from the phone remained. I’d probably get to it later, I just need to get online for a moment. The brief moment of chastened clarity had brough me staring back at the jar and sighing. Looking down at the broken cracks one of them seemed to magnify the mistake… another letter mistakenly pressed. Wish I didn’t have these clunky calluses riddled on my fingers.

I managed to remove the extra letter and proceeded with the next instruction. Waiting for my phones little tingle as the OTP came in and let me in. But as I sat and stared at the 3 words…

“Reset your password…” I stared out and looked back to the jar with my strained eyes, defogging and decluttering from the lack of sleep. I could vaguely remember the sensation of my clear throat, not tempered from the dust from construction. With the emerging soft smile that reminded me of an expression long gone I huffed. “All that complaining… you could never remember yours… I had to change all of them to her name for you to remember.”

My calluses stroked the strangling hold of the ring that didn’t fit anymore. It didn’t fit… But I’d rather make it so that it fit.

I pressed the back arrow, and then typed the password slowly with an old gentle smile from the past. Heaving as I entered it and closed my eyes. I don’t need to watch that ring spin. I knew it was right. That goblin seemed to have sodded off, things felt a little clearer and peaceful for now.

I set my phone down and stood up, my eyes moistened as I stared at the built-up dust on the swear jar. Before I could glance back at the phone, someone knocked on the door. A furious one at that. I’m glad it was that knock.

“Coming!”

Murmurs came by the door, rather some elated ones. The phone left unlocked on the table soon dimmed as it was ready to lock. On the first page was the man and a woman in embrace with a child in their grasp.

“Dad! Have you been crying?!” A distant confrontation from another woman came along and with the whimpering that soon followed. “You’re on your meds?” The pause slowly turned into what seemed to be the greying mans whimper. “You were thinking of mum again…”