Put a smile on your face

One rich man decided to realize his old dream: to lead an orchestra. He hired a drummer, three saxophonists, and twenty four violinists.

During the first rehearsal, he conducted so poorly that the drummer suggested other musicians to leave him. But one saxophonist said:

– Why do we have to leave? He pays well. Moreover, he probably understands the music.

At the next rehearsal the conductor could not get a rhythm. Angry drummer started a deafening drumming. The conductor asked for silence, looked around the musicians and asked:

– Who did this?

FUNNYTORIESOELLRIENDS



A

A walked into a small Irish pub and ordered three beers. Bartender was surprised, but he served that man three beers. One hour later the man ordered three beers again. The very next day that man ordered three beers again and drank quietly at a table. This repeated several times and shortly after the people of the town were whispering about the man, who was ordering three beers at once.

A couple of weeks later, the bartender decided to clear this out and inquired: „I do not want to pry, but could you explain, why do you order three beers all the time?” The man replied: „It seems strange, isn‘t it? You see, my two brothers live abroad at the moment, one – in France and another – in Italy. We have made an agreement, that every time we go to pub each of us will order extra two beers and it will help keeping up the family bond“.

Soon all the town have heard about the man‘s answer and liked it a lot. The man became a local celebrity. Residents of the town were telling this story to newcomers or tourists and even invited them to that pub to look at Three Beer Man.

However, one day the man came to pub and ordered only two beers, not three as usual. The bartender served him with bad feeling. All that evening the man ordered and drank only two beers. The very next day all the town was talking about these news, some people pray for the soul of one of the brothers, others quietly grieve.

When the man came to pub the next time and ordered two beers again, the bartender asked him: „I would like to offer condolences to you, due to the death of your dear brother”. The man considered this for a moment and then replied: „Oh, you are probably surprised that I order only two beers now? Well, my two brothers are alive and well. It‘s just because of my decision. I promised myself to give up drinking“.

There was a man, who lived in the mountain village, and he was known because he has never argued with anyone. One day some correspondent, who wished to write about this man in the Guinness book of records, came to him. They had the following conversation:

— Please tell me, is it true, that you have lived more than 90 years and never argued with anyone?

— Yes, it is true.

— Absolutely with no one?

— Absolutely with no one, at all!

— Even with your wife?

— Even with my wife.

— Even with your children?

— Even with my children.

— Not once for 90 years?

— Not once.

— Not once absolutely with no one? — becoming angry, the correspondent asked.

— Yes, —the old man said quietly.

The correspondent (blushing and becoming irritated):

— It can‘t be, that you had not argued with anyone for all your life!

— I had, had, had… — the old man said apologetically.