Punishment

My nightmare has returned, and I fear my death is nearly upon me. The lurking abomination I spied just beyond the horizon is drawing ever near, my fate is almost definitive. As a result, I have chosen to write down the coming days until it arrives and claim what is justly due. This could be considered my confession, but with my worst fear been realized, I am the only one left to read such regret and guilt-filled remorse. My sins are those that cannot be weighed, they cannot be measured, and I know in my heart there is no penance too harsh I should endure. I shall tell you dear reader, I shall tell you the story of the great mystery that has plagued humanity since the beginning, the mystery of our great ending.

Day 1

Just beyond the horizon, the grotesque shell is eclipsed by the setting sun, lumbering along seemingly without direction or purpose. But I know, its true nature is to devour and consume everything in its path. A walking disease upon the earth that spreads cancerously, infecting everything and everyone in its wake. For I am its creator, and the soul harbinger of mankind’s destruction. As I look across the barren wasteland outside my window, I’m remind what the cost of excellence truly is. And now the only debt I can pay is my own life without justification or due process. Just know dear reader, every horrific act that has accrued in this aftermath was because of a great love.

My love, my darling Rose, for what is love if not the worthiest thing to fight for when the crushing feeling of loss slithers into your life. My wife, scarlet haired with emerald eyes, a great beauty beyond my own self-worth and I was going to lose her. Not by a maniac with a gun, or an act of fate, or even the hand of God, but she was to be taken from me by a germ. What higher intelligence being would condone such insolence? Humankind possessed the power to create life, to mold and nurture it from its conception, and now my dearest Rose would have her light extinguished from this world. Like a flicker on a candle. I chose not to accept this, I chose to playact as God, and somehow, I know now he’s laughing at me.

The work was long and brutal, even as she grew grey and weak, it drove me harder to find the cure to her disease. But through sweat and sleepless nights, I found it in the end. A viral pathogen that neutralized her ailment by mutating its properties and seamlessly acclimating the disease into her system. The key to her salvation and humanity’s destruction walked hand-in-hand, though I could not see it. Many nights I was still awake in that hospital listening to near dead silence, with only the sound of the clock ticking away. The sound of time slowly passing by without apologies, without sorrow or scorn. Time’s mere existence is the great illusion man created in order to give value to a life, though the dead surely find it worthless in the end. Time was on my side it seemed as the cure was found and my wife would live as she made a full recovery in mere days after introducing her system to the virus. Though the weeks that followed would have a different outcome. Heaven is a great prize, but one must trek through hell before claiming it.

Day 2

I’ve stared at a trinket this passing day to give me some semblance of comfort. I fear the only emotion I can bring myself to feel is a sense of self-hatred and inevitability. It is a little thing, heart-shaped and silver, given to me as a gift from my wife as a symbol of what I was fighting for. Inside is each a picture of both of us, young and vibrant with so much more to live for. A symbol of my success as the cure worked, but only to the degree in which her sickness was stayed off by the very thing that condemned the world. A harmful, corrupting influence that inflected her mind turning her into a living plague for the whole of my species to suffer from.

In the beginning, there were reports of death, pain, misery, and the worst qualities of humanity being displayed for the whole world to witness. Rioting and looting became the standard for survival which came strength in numbers. The most minuscule items became the essentials and mankind turning on one another like ravenous coyotes. The established governments came toppling down as they tried to maintain the illusion of power declaring martial law. First world nations crumbled within months of the outbreak due to swelled populations. Third world nations were non-existent after a year but only from isolation or their own cruel measures with quarantining. The digital connection that modern society coveted so preciously seemingly disappeared over night. And all that was left was Darwin’s great truth, the strong whom ate the weak.

The end of Earth’s great experiment and God’s great failure, humankind had come to a halt when faced with a choice. The choice to maintain civility and survive together, or perpetuate it’s baser, selfish nature and survive individually. The lasting impression of such arrogance that humanity left behind is more than enough evidence that we believed nature was in our control, we were wrong. I made the virus that led to the downfall of the most dominate species on this planet, but I never made anyone act in violence when faced with this harsh reality. I still can’t help but force myself to feel every death as a result of my own, personal selfishness. This small locket is the only thing that reminds me of joy or happiness as I ponder the cost of what led humanity to do when our way of live vanished.

Day 3

The monster draws near with every step it takes as I wonder if it knows just what it’s doing. Time has shown it capacity for kindness as evident on its rotten body. The true madness and macabre of this monster is that it once was a beautiful person, a person with hopes and dreams, and a lusting for life. And now it’s reduced to a revenant, a walking pestilence cursed to wonder the earth until it rots completely away. What sort of hell could anyone wish upon another like that? Though there are times I envy it, for as horrid as it is, those who inherited the earth perpetrated different kinds of horror.

After the years that followed, humanities inherit nature to colonize in groups became second nature. Plunderers and scavengers were the new norms to expect from what was once your neighbors. Travelers on the roads were given choices, join or die, and some were not even given such pleasantries if things grew bad enough. Civilization was non-existent, society devolved into factions with new systems of hierarchies. Only the strong survive and only the strongest shall lead. A concept where the weak were left with very little of a chance. The words “deserve” and “fair” were always spawned from mankind’s arrogance and selfishness. Whomever finds themselves at the top of societies pillar seems to always take advantage of the position with those words. With the aftermath, the method use commonly was force under the guise of those words. However, nothing compares to the disgusting acts some would indulge in the later years.

The walking abominations proved to be a source of inspiration for some as the acts of consumption was deemed necessary for survival. Cannibalism became popular as food sources became scarcer and for those in power, it became a way of societal sacrifice. If food was not found in a traveler then one of their own was chosen for “the good of everyone”. This method eventually became the downfall of the remnants of humanity. Less and less of us have I found as the years went on without sightings or interactions. I dreaded the idea of going mad to the isolation, so I committed in these final years to find someone, anyone in the hope that there are others left. Alas, seven years have passed since I’ve seen another living soul and I fear by tomorrow I won’t ever again.

Day 4

The ghoulish specter who haunts me has finally made it to my front door and I fear there isn’t much time left before it finds itself upstairs to me. I have made myself feel every death that has occurred because of my selfish desire to do the things that out of my control. I realize that is why I’d imprisoned myself in this house of self-isolation, away from the madness that humanity left behind. I had survived by staying away from those who would condemn humanity to acts of savagery. Here is where I would remain away from the remnants of the old world and the rulers of the new. But for all my faults in the end, I still remain unapologetic for loving my wife.

Saving her was the only thing I cared about and it’s only now I understand that it wasn’t in my power to stave off the creeping hand of death. Her life was her own as she told me to let her go and accept her passing; I didn’t listen. And now due to my selfish nature, an entire species is gone with me as our only witness to see out our extinction event. I have seen humanity at its worst, before in its smug, pompousness and afterwards in its savage, selfishness to cling on to life a bit longer. In this final hour I realize there is no truly saving what we love, there is no redemption for humanity. For humanity, what is life but merely death pending.

As I hear the monster coming ever closer to my room, I’ve decided to accept my fate with a small semblance of conviction. I’ve finally accepted what is out of my control and let nature take its course with me. I look upon this heart-shaped locket one last in the hope not to see the monster I helped create. When she opens my door, I won’t see the grotesque corpse lumbering towards me. I choose to see her velvet hair as I saw everyday before the world ended. I choose to see her beautiful smile she gave me every time we saw one another. I choose to remember the kiss she planted upon my lips for the love that we shared, for love that I lost. As I slowly hear the door creak open, know that I finally accept the things I cannot change, dear reader. I accept my fate, I accept my damnation, and I accept my punishment.

The End.