Psychologist

Many people ask me what that is. I say dreams are really mysterious; many believe that in dreams we enter another world, but who can be sure that we're not living in a huge dream? Incomparable, I am a writer, and the story happened a few years ago. Quite coincidentally, it all started with a dream. That summer, I had a dream where I came to a beautiful small town in the south of the Yangtze River.

It was so delightful there, everything felt so real, making you want to stay forever and ever. By a stroke of luck, while taking a casual stroll on the street one day, I noticed several very young girls and boys distributing advertising flyers, and others loudly promoting slogans. "The small town in the south of the Yangtze River in the dream, a place worth searching for in a lifetime, miss it and wait another 1000 years!" That day I was particularly curious; like a man possessed, I actually took the initiative to ask a young girl nearby for a flyer. The girl generously handed me one. Opening the flyer, I was completely stunned—there was the street from the town in my dream, the stone bridge on which I had stood and admired the scenery. Instantly, I felt as if I were in my dream, everything had come to reality.

Perhaps everything in reality is exactly what confuses me in my dreams. Returning home, I opened my bag and took out the flyer of the small town again, carefully examining the photo album on the table. There was a photo from years ago of me and my wife Wang Qi enjoying a trip together. My wife looked at me affectionately in the photo; I touched her face gently with my hand and fell into deep thought. Since my wife passed away, I hadn't gone out for enjoyment in a long time. I thought about how dashing I looked in a suit back then, but now, I live day after day, monotonous, dull, and ordinary. I made up my mind to drop everything and go see the small town I had once visited in my dream. I called the travel agency, and they said they could provide me with free local accommodations, a self-guided three-day tour where I could stay at the provided homestay for two nights for free and explore the small town on my own. On the third day, there would be a dedicated tour guide and a car to take me around the town. It sounded like a nice trip. Since my mind was made up, I packed my bags and took a southbound high-speed train. Upon arrival, I contacted the travel agency; they informed me that a guide surnamed Li had already arrived at the station to pick me up and would contact me shortly.

Not long after hanging up, my phone rang. We agreed to meet at the station's main entrance. Moments later, a black sedan drove up to me. It was a brand-new mid-sized car, with "Tianhua Travel Agency" and contact information on it. The car door opened, and a young man about 25 years old, dressed in a suit, sunny and handsome, with a smile on his face, approached me and handed me a business card. We confirmed each other's identities, and the guide put my luggage in the trunk as we chatted pleasantly. The guide introduced himself again as Li Defu, and guests usually called him Xiao Li. He reiterated the travel plans and the process of the tour for me, everything was as described before. I was looking forward to this trip. Unconsciously, our car had driven towards a two-story residential building, with an appearance that was both quaint and modern, a surprising blend of Western and Chinese architectural styles. You could tell that the homeowner was someone who pursued fashion. The car stopped outside the big gate, Xiao Li got out of the car to help me with my luggage, and we walked towards the house, chatting. I didn't notice a round wooden stick lying across my path, making a clanging sound.

I stopped and saw an elderly woman, about 80 years old, dressed in gray clothes, holding a wooden cane, standing in front of us. The old woman said coldly, "Young man, you should leave quickly." Xiao Li immediately spoke up, helplessly saying, "Mister, I forgot to introduce you, this is Granny Zhao. She lives in the town and comes to help take care of the house when there are guests. She has lived in the town all her life and has never left." The old lady said again, "Hurry up and go, hurry up." We responded with an "Um, okay," and entered the house. Xiao Li took me through each room, introducing the living room, bedroom, kitchen, study, bathroom, from downstairs to upstairs. He explained that the locked room on the first floor was where the owner, a doctor, used to see patients and advised not to enter unless necessary. Upstairs in the bedroom, Xiao Li mentioned that the owner's clothes, books, etc., were stored here for me to read, but to be careful not to damage anything. As I walked around the house casually, Xiao Li's phone rang. He saw that I was okay and answered the call, speaking softly, "Honey, I'm arranging a house viewing for a client, can I call you back later?" The voice on the other end was heavy and loud—I could hear it: "You actually went there, are you crazy? I'm downstairs, come down right now." Xiao Li quickly said, "Sorry, Mr. Wu, my girlfriend is throwing a tantrum. I've finished showing you around for today, do you mind if I leave now?"

I nodded, showing understanding, and said, "It's okay, go attend to your work." Xiao Li apologized repeatedly, "I'm really sorry to have troubled you. Here is your room key. I will come to pick up the key on the third morning and also take you out." I took the key and watched Xiao Li hurry down the stairs. I moved quietly to the window and looked through the glass to see what was happening downstairs. Xiao Li ran to the parked car on the street; from a similarly colored black sedan next to it, a girl ran out in a hurry and hugged Xiao Li. Outside the building, the two embraced tightly, Xiao Li and his girlfriend seeking comfort in each other's arms. Li Defu said to his girlfriend, "How could I have brought a client to meet you directly?" Xiao Li's girlfriend seemed to be filled with grievances; she slapped Li Defu's shoulder forcefully, with a tone of blame, "Haven't I told you this place is dangerous? But you just wouldn't listen." Her eyes were full of worry, "Do you know how worried I am about you, Li Defu?" Li Defu reassured her, "Don't worry, everything is well-organized, there's no problem." At this time, a man from the black sedan stuck his head out, looking somewhat impatient: "Miss, we have other matters; if you want to quarrel, go home and do it." "Sorry, sir, we'll leave right now," Li Defu's girlfriend wiped the tears from the corner of her eyes, turned around, and glared at Li Defu angrily, urging him, "You go ahead and leave quickly."

By the window, I watched as Xiao Li and his girlfriend drove away, feeling somewhat relieved. Pacing back and forth inside the house, I involuntarily walked up to the locked door of the sickroom. A strange noise emanated from within, causing my heart to flutter with unease. Hastily, I fished out my keys, ready to unlock the door. Another urgent sound made my hands tremble. Desperately, I tried inserting the keys into the lock, one after another, repeatedly attempting to find the right one. With beads of sweat forming on my forehead, the correct key finally slid into the lock with a crisp sound. A wave of relief washed over me, knowing I had found the right key. I turned the key, attempting to unlock the door, when suddenly I felt something strike the back of my hand. My heart skipped a beat, but the sensation was like an electric shock, traveling from my hand straight to my heart. Suppressing my fear, I looked down to see what it was – a cane? “Young man, what are you doing here?” came Grandma Zhao’s hoarse voice, “It’s best not to open this door.” I replied without hesitation, “You really scared me, Grandma Zhao! There’s a strange noise in this room, and I just wanted to check it out,” I said impatiently. Grandma Zhao turned and left, limping with her cane, no longer paying me any attention. Helplessly, I escorted her back to her thatched cottage. She walked briskly, not looking back. Speechless and unable to argue, I could only nod silently, pondering as I walked to the street advertised on the flyer.

The town was small, with only one stone bridge spanning the river, which I followed to find both the bridge and the home of my dreams. The scenery was picturesque – the old house, the ancient stone bridge, the running water, fishing boats, and willows – all elements blended harmoniously, creating an enchanting and beautiful scene. At five in the afternoon, the weather was unusually oppressive and hot. I dined in a small restaurant, where few people gave me peculiar looks that sent chills down my spine. After eating, I hurriedly left. The weather outside remained oppressively hot and stuffy. I thought to myself how wonderful it would be if it drizzled. To my surprise, soon the sky began to sprinkle sparse raindrops, and the southern scenery appeared exceptionally fresh in the rain. I chose to stroll in the rain, enjoying the rare beauty.

Looking at my watch, it was already 7:40 p.m. Thunder rumbled in the sky, and I remembered Grandma Zhao’s chilling words: “The main gate closes promptly at 8 p.m., and will not open again thereafter.” I ran hastily, splashing through the drenched streets. Fortunately, I dashed through the gate just before it closed automatically. I took a deep breath, feeling both angry and relieved, my clothes completely soaked, but there was no time to wring them out as I entered the house. Unfamiliar with the location of the light switches in each room, I had to rely on the faint moonlight and occasional flashes of lightning to navigate. I reached the first floor sickroom just as a lightning flash illuminated a silhouette by the window. Not daring to linger, worried about the safety of the ground floor, I decisively ran up to the second floor bedroom and turned on the light, gasping for air. Realizing my luggage was still in the ground floor bedroom, I reluctantly steeled myself, hoping to find something to change into in the wardrobe of this room's owner. Unfortunately, apart from a few white doctor's coats, there was nothing else. With no other option, I took off my wet clothes, donned a white coat, and lay on the bed. Unable to sleep, I picked up a book from the bedside table and began reading; the title was "100 Talks on Mental Illness." I opened a page, which stated that mental illness is a serious category of mental disorders characterized by a breakdown in the integrity and unity of mental activities, manifesting in symptoms such as hallucinations and delusions, with patients exhibiting markedly abnormal psychological behaviors. This has adverse effects on the patient themselves, society, and families. Often, patients lack insight into their condition, denying their illness, refusing to seek medical attention, and unwilling to take medication. I was engrossed in the book when suddenly, a clap of thunder caused the bedside lamp to emit a strange noise, and once again peculiar sounds came from downstairs, accompanied by the noise of falling objects. Driven by curiosity, I decided to go downstairs to investigate. Clutching the thick book, I tiptoed down the stairs. Suddenly, another thunderclap, and the lights in the room went out, plunging the whole house into terrifying darkness. The strange noise continued, and I knew it was coming from the sickroom. I walked down the corridor, with the sickroom just ahead. I continued forward, only to trip over something and slide onto the slippery floor. Supporting myself with one hand on the ground, I groped with the other, unexpectedly grabbing something damp. Instinctively, I brought it closer to see clearly, but just then a flash of lightning struck, causing me to shudder, my body breaking out in sweat. The lightning illuminated what was in my hand – a full set of human teeth. Panicked, I quickly opened my palm, and the teeth seemed to open wide as if to bite.

At my age, I had never encountered such bizarre events. I frantically threw the object to the ground, stood up ready to flee, but before I could move, everything behind me made me sweat profusely with fear. It felt as if a mysterious force was pulling me, causing me to fall again. A blinding light hit my retina, making it almost impossible to open my eyes, and I could barely make out a pale face right above mine through the slits of my eyes.

“Are you Dr. Hu?” When I heard that familiar voice, I finally relaxed and exhaled deeply – it was Grandma Zhao. I breathed a sigh of relief, Grandma Zhao, you really scared me. I'm Mr. Wu. Grandma Zhao moved the flashlight beam from my chin to the ground, seemingly looking for something. Dressed in the white coat, I really looked the part; I thought I had encountered a ghost and it scared my dentures out. I bent down to pick up the dentures I had dropped and handed them to Grandma Zhao – Grandma, these are your dentures. Grandma Zhao took the dentures and quickly popped them into her mouth, then chewed a few times. She told me, “I forgot to tell you this morning, when it thunders and rains here, there's often a power outage. I came to bring you a flashlight.” I took the flashlight.

The flashlight's beam landed on Grandma, and she said coldly, “Go on, get out of here.” I wanted to thank Grandma Zhao properly, but when I turned around, she was already gone. I continued to inspect the interior with the faint light of the flashlight. The sickroom windows were frosted glass, so it was impossible to see inside from the outside. Just when I was relying on this faint source of light, the flashlight suddenly went out. With no other choice, I tried shaking and slapping it. Strangely enough, it lit up again after my attempts. I approached the window, trying to peer outside. At the same time, a tremendous lightning bolt seemed to explode right in the center of the courtyard, and my flashlight shone unusually bright. Through the window, I saw a figure standing upright inside, as if confronting me.

Under the protection of the law, I cast aside all my worries and ran desperately. The flashlight slipped from my hand, creating a streak of light, and then rolled on the ground. I burst into the bedroom, locked the door violently, jumped onto the bed, and pulled the quilt over my body. When the morning light was faint, I roamed the town aimlessly in a white coat. It was silent all the way, the air was moist and heavy, with thick fog enveloping everything, and there was no sound at all. I paced to a stone bridge and stood on it to enjoy the scenery. For some reason, I suddenly stepped over the railing inexplicably and walked to the edge of the bridge, then I spread my arms and closed my eyes. "Dr. Hu, don't do it, please don't jump!" I heard an urgent and strange cry from the side, but when I turned back I couldn't see anything clearly.

Without any hesitation, I jumped off the bridge and plunged into the icy bone-chilling water. Lying in bed, I was sweating all over, opened my eyes quickly, and looked around—I was still in the bedroom of my house. It was all just a dream, a dream that had woken me up. I sat quietly on the bed for a while, trying to calm my emotions, then went downstairs to the bedroom, dragged my suitcase to the second floor, changed my clothes, and casually placed the white coat on a chair. I began to walk around the house, picked up an old-fashioned flashlight from the floor, and unknowingly arrived outside the ward. Curious to uncover the secrets inside, I took out the key, opened the door, and walked in. In the ward, the first thing I noticed was the window next to the room door, as I had seen a figure there twice before.

"There's nothing, nothing." There was nothing abnormal happening here. It turned out to be just a coat rack, with a white coat and a white doctor's cap hanging on it. I unconsciously took down the white coat and put it on, looking around. To the left of the room door was a tall bookcase filled with books. Next to it was a long bench for patients to lie on, with a curtain hanging half open. To the right of the room door was a medicine cabinet, and in the center of the room was a square table covered with various medical instruments. In the corner was an examination table with a chair on each side. The table had a stethoscope and some simple medical tools on it, as well as a few books. Suddenly, a strange "thud thud" sound caught my attention. I went to check, and under the table, a tired little sparrow was desperately flapping its wings. I quickly caught the little creature in my hands and looked around. It turned out that a window in the room was half-open, swinging in the wind. I walked over to the window, gently opened my hand, and the sparrow first hopped to the ground, then flew into the nearby low bushes. I carefully closed the window.

When I stepped on something, making a noise, it turned out to be several tools and books that must have been knocked to the floor by the sparrow in a panic when it inadvertently entered the room yesterday. I picked them up one by one, placing them back on the table. My gaze was suddenly drawn to a medical diary on the table. Instinctively, I opened it, sat down at the table, and began to read it carefully. May 5th, clear becoming cloudy. Today was a dull day, no patients came for a consultation, feeling somewhat melancholic. May 6th, clear. The situation was the same as yesterday, no patients appeared, which was really anxious. May 7th, cloudy turning to light rain. Today was utterly annoying, it has been several months since any patients came for a consultation, did I do something wrong? Why can't I see even a shadow of a patient? May 8th, clear with light rain. I hadn't noticed, but recently it seems hard for me to fall asleep, and once I do, I wake up easily. Could it be that I have contracted some incurable disease? My goodness, this is too horrible. May 9th, clear.

Today, my girlfriend brought me a lot of food, is she trying to poison me? I didn't think much of it, after eating I vomited everything out in the bathroom. Still no patients visited today. I skimmed through this tedious medical diary, finding that most of the content was about the absence of patients, which bored me, so I flipped through many pages. The grass here must have grown very tall by now. August 11th, clear. The absence of patients is no longer a novelty. Today an electrician suddenly came to repair the electrical circuit, and I have always suspected that someone might be controlling my body with some high-tech weapon? The arrival of the electrician further deepened my suspicions. When the electrician left, he was chatting and laughing with my girlfriend, as if discussing some secret. They were too far away for me to hear clearly. I clearly saw my girlfriend handing the electrician a bunch of colorful things, after which he left with a cheerful laugh. This is terrifying, could my girlfriend also be one of the masterminds behind this, has everyone betrayed me? Later I confronted my girlfriend, asking if someone had installed some advanced device at home to control me, she was very calm, comforting me, telling me not to think too much, and brought me water and medicine. So, she's been medicating me, to torment me. I can't take it anymore, I'm about to break down. August 12th, cloudy. Today is a great day.

In the morning, I went for a walk with my girlfriend, and on the stone bridge, we cleared things up, deciding to break up. I told her everything, saying I didn't want to waste her youth anymore. I wanted to see her reaction, but to my surprise, she really did as I guessed, coquettishly trying to stay by my side. Humph, what a detestable woman, still trying to deceive me with sweet words. How could I let you continue to poison me? I couldn't stand it anymore, I slapped her hard, my hand swelled up, knowing she was in pain, crying bitterly, looking very desperate. Watching her retreating figure, I actually felt a sense of peace. I turned to the next page of the medical diary.

The entry for August 13th had flown away, wantonly torn up. I continued to flip through, reaching the chapter for August 14th: A sunny August 14th, the sun was shining brightly, and I was in high spirits, today was a day worth celebrating. Yesterday my girlfriend and I reconciled, now we are like a couple of deities. Today, we will hold a wedding, although there are no blessings from friends and family, we are content and immensely happy. We decorated our new home, sparkling and bright, and even pasted up all the photos we had prepared yesterday. At noon, we went to a nearby small restaurant for lunch, the owner hastily served a dish.

But as soon as I entered the restaurant, I felt the whispers around me, which made me extremely uncomfortable, like a thousand needles piercing my heart. I swallowed my food and paid hurriedly, leaving quickly. As I wandered, I realized that I was still wearing a white coat. I had to return home in defeat. In the bedroom, I saw the photos of the landlord and my girlfriend. I had never looked closely before, but now I noticed many oddities hidden in these photos; the male in each photo wore a white coat, but his face was deliberately blurred. The female always wore a red dress, and each photo's facial features were slightly different, it was hard to believe it was the same person without a close look. Their expressions and actions seemed intentionally posed.

I was filled with curiosity about the stories that had occurred here. I arrived at the ward and continued to peruse the medical diary. The handwriting had become even more scribbled: August 15, clear skies. Life after marriage is indeed different. In high spirits, the sky is clear and vast. A new patient arrived, a 62-year-old man with difficulty sleeping. His speech was disjointed, his emotions fluctuated wildly. During our conversation, the old man emphasized repeatedly the poor quality of his sleep. I understood his condition, packaged the medication properly, and placed it in his coat pocket, with detailed instructions for use. When the old man left, his face beaming with a smile, I felt gratified.

August 16, the weather changed from cloudy to clear. Another male patient, 56 years old, exhibited abnormal behavior. He had a severe case of obsessive cleanliness, occasionally twitching in conversation, and he liked to squat. Facing such a patient, I felt helpless and could only stuff the medicine packet into his coat pocket. As dusk approached, I realized that the diary was filled with such grisly records, dull and uninteresting. I flipped to the last page, the handwriting barely legible: October 5, overcast. A 29-year-old patient, heavy with paranoia, not long for this world.

This morning, a young man about my age visited, as handsome as I am. Soon after, my wife brought us two cups of water. As I drank, I noticed his intimate gestures with my wife. They seemed to have known each other for a long time. Shortly after, they disappeared from my sight, hand in hand. I searched the room but found no trace of them. I am certain that patient won't live much longer, and I too will leave this world alone.

The sky outside the window darkened, and I hung my white coat back on the rack, then went upstairs to lie in bed. Scenes of patients and doctors from the diary played over in my mind. I don't know when, but two familiar friends entered the room; it turns out, they were here too. We conversed cheerfully. Suddenly, a white-haired middle-aged doctor with a sharp knife burst in, blood dripping from the blade. His face was astoundingly similar to mine. I covered my face with a blanket and felt someone pressing down on my bed, my body was pinned, my arm gripped tightly. I didn't dare breathe, only feeling someone else's breath, the stench overwhelming. The ringtone of my phone woke me from the nightmare; everything seemed so real.

It was a call from tour guide Li Duofu, waiting for me downstairs. I composed myself, ready to go down. Opening the wardrobe, I found the medicine packets with detailed instructions. I poured out all the packets; the dates matched the times the doctor in the diary prescribed the medication. Why would these packets be in the doctor's own coat pocket?

In this story, endless suspicions revolve around the mysterious patients. I resolved to investigate thoroughly. Without further hesitation, I packed all the medicine into the pockets of my white lab coat and carefully hung it back in the closet. Then, I placed the thick medical record book into my leather suitcase. When everything was ready, I locked the pharmacy, pulled my suitcase, and stepped out the front door to meet Li Duofu downstairs, who greeted me with a full-faced smile. He took the keys from my hand and then helped load my luggage into the car. The car roared to life; I looked back to see Grandma Zhao standing straight with her walking stick behind the slowly closing gate.

Throughout the journey, Li Duofu took me around the town, introducing the scenery and local customs we passed. No matter how enchanting the landscape, my mind deeply immersed itself in contemplation of that house, of the homeowner's life. Carrying many doubts, I asked about the landlord where I stayed – what kind of person had he been? Li Duofu seemed to have anticipated my question and calmly replied that the owner of the house had been a psychiatrist. Unfortunately, after his girlfriend died in a car accident, he chose to jump into the river in despair. Since then, he had disappeared without a trace. We searched hard for many years, always hoping to find him, to reclaim what was his. Alas, we have yet to succeed.

"Was he ever married?" I asked curiously. Li Duofu shook his head, indicating a definite no. In this small town, any little event at anyone's home is known by everyone. I nodded slightly, but I was no longer interested in the subsequent scenic introductions from Li Duofu. Unbeknownst to me, the time had reached the afternoon. Li dropped me off at the station, and I casually inquired about the house owner's name before getting off. Li Duofu jokingly replied, her name is Hu Yu, quite similar to your own – don't you feel as if you are Hu Yu yourself? I shook my head; how could that be possible. I took the high-speed train home, and by night, I sat at my desk, turned on the desk lamp, and gazed at the photo of me and Wang Xin. I was dressed in a neat suit, looking spry.

My wife appeared exceptionally graceful. I grabbed a pen from the desk, tapping it lightly while contemplating. Then, I opened the drawer, took out some manuscript paper, and began to write. I am a writer, and this story happened a few years ago. Speaking of coincidences, it all started with a dream. That summer, I dreamed of arriving at a beautiful town in Jiangnan, where everything was so wonderful, so real, that one would be reluctant to leave, wishing to stay forever. In the middle of the night, I converted my manuscript into a digital version and sent it to my editor, then texted him, "Sun Bin, my latest novel, 'The Psychiatrist,' has been sent to your email. This story is fascinating, and I believe you will like it. I think it can change my life." After setting down the phone, I reopened the medical diary, flipped through it casually, and unconsciously fell asleep on the desk.

In the early morning, I wandered aimlessly through the town, draped in a white lab coat. The streets were deserted, the air was filled with dampness and thick fog, and there was an eerie silence all around, not even the slightest sound. I arrived at a stone bridge and stood there quietly, admiring the scenery. However, for some reason, I inexplicably climbed over the railing and stood on the edge of the bridge. I spread my arms, closed my eyes, and at that moment, I heard a familiar shout: "Dr. Hu, don't do it, please don't jump!" Turning my head, I saw it was Grandma Zhao calling out to me. I jumped into the river, struggling as the items I carried scattered everywhere. I was startled awake, and the first thing I saw was a shattered picture frame and a medical diary on the ground. Bending down to pick them up, my fingers were cut by the broken glass, so I had to suck the wound with my mouth while my other hand fumbled to pick up the items that had fallen. As I picked up the medical diary, a folded piece of paper fell to the ground. I unfolded it and unexpectedly found a torn-out diary page—August 13th.

That page recorded the sorrow of August 13th: A light rain persisted, and it was a day of sadness. Today, I received the devastating news that my girlfriend had been involved in a car accident after leaving me, departing from this world. In the morning, I attended her funeral, my heart cut like a knife, and I fainted several times from crying. In the end, I didn't even know how I got back home, my mind was blank. Waking up in the middle of the night, I was in anguish and filled with regret. If I could turn back time, I would never let her go; I would make her happy forever. I thought of a way; I decided to be with my girlfriend forever, never to part. I redesigned our photo on the computer, me in my white lab coat, and she in her favorite red dress. Designing a girlfriend, not a wife, to look different at various ages, so I could always be with her. I kept the original photo close in my pocket, while the printed versions made me feel annoyed and angry. How could I be worthy of such a wonderful wife? I didn’t want to see myself anymore, so I erased my face from all the photos. That way, I could always remember only the good about my wife and forget myself. Thinking of our wedding tomorrow, my heart filled with excitement and joy. It’s an exhilarating thing indeed!

I placed these diaries on the table, next to the manuscript of the novel I was writing. Upon a careful comparison, I was shocked to find that these diaries and my novel were not just similar; they were exactly the same! I scrutinized the photo of me and Wang Xin together, wondering why the photo of me in a suit and my wife in a red dress seemed so unreal? Why was there a part of the suit in the corner of the photo that was curling up? I lowered my head, my eyes wide with a neurotic intensity, staring at the curling corner, my fingers actually able to tear it off, revealing the original outfit underneath—the me in a white lab coat, standing there. My scalp tingled; there were no traces of modification on the photo, no possibility of forgery. The air became oppressive, I breathed rapidly, and an inexplicable force surged within me. My body involuntarily leaned backward, and the chair fell to the ground with me. My mind flickered with various images, and voices echoed continuously. I felt as if I had once again jumped into the river, seeing Grandma Zhao, hearing her shout: "Dr. Hu, don't do it, please don't jump!"

In that river, I suddenly opened my eyes, rescued from the water, with someone draping a coat over me, someone supporting me, asking who I was. My head throbbed with pain, and I cried out, gesturing with my hands as if writing. That person told a colleague that I was a writer. I wandered aimlessly, sticking the photo from my pocket and the cut-out suit image from the book together, framing them. My girlfriend and I had many happy times together; after we parted, I attended all occasions alone. I built a house by myself, bought gifts for myself. Li Duofu's joke echoed in my ears: "Do you ever feel like you are Hu Yu himself?" I spat out a mouthful of blood and then burst into insane laughter.

Five days later, Editor Sun arrived at my home with several doctors and two police officers. The doctors gave me a sedative, and I was taken away in the ambulance, still screaming madly.