Promise the Trees

There was a time I once feared you. Your strength and might was like an owl looming in the green treetops. Your yellow eyes looking near red, as they peered into the darkness, ready to devour me.

In the course of a lifetime, we can all be both predator and prey. You could’ve gone for an easy challenge, like a rabbit or field mouse. Instead, you chose this fox in the field.

Even in the cold winter, I always sensed you before I saw you. You created a quiet hush over the animals in the barn near our field. You stood stalwart as the wind rustled your feathers.

As I drew in a sharp breath, you lifted off the branch. Out of all the creatures which could’ve been your meal you chose me.

You used every element toward your advantage. You knew how to use the air to take flight and the color of the earth to spot me scurrying to safety.

Time and time again, you would use your talons to tear my heart from my chest. You did not understand that my heart was made of gold. I came back to life after every killing, stronger and stronger.

When I sleep, I see the mole that looked like a barn owl on your hand. The one time those hands wrapped around my neck was the moment I knew I had to break free.

We all know the risk of challenging the unknown. Sometimes you have to pay a price for freedom. When I chose to leave you, I knew it could cost my life.

The only way a fox escapes an owl is to study the predator. Eventually I understood that you attack when wounded. I had to get myself strong, lick my wounds, if you will.

There was only so much I could not control as your prey. I could leave the field but eventually that would leave another bird to shred me to bits. I needed to overcome this very field.

My only way out of this conflict was to gather as many resources as possible. Just like a fox, I scavenged for the money to leave. I worked seventy hours a week. I worked until my tail was muddy and clumped with matted fur. Sometimes staying up all the night.

For two years, I took your beak to my throat. Every time you challenged me I gained more strength in my legs. I learned fast. If I crisscrossed when you chased me the hunt would be harder.

When facing a predator eventually you learn to watch for the shadow of the hunter on the Earth. You learn to scamper the ground a little faster.

Somehow, I managed to secure my own vehicle. This was the hardest task- everything in that barn was yours to devour. I thought of every way to keep save myself from your clutches. I secured a post office box for my mail. You would never know of my new field.

I secured a separate bank account without you knowing. Every now and again, a teller asked why I had two names: both married and maiden. They didn’t know that even foxes have different colors to their fur.

Through hard work, I saved enough to buy a lawyer to pay for the divorce. I even scrimped for half of mediation. Without you finding out, I squirreled away necessities and saved them in my hole.

This left one final act. I stared down the potential that you would take my life. I prepared my mother with details of our marriage, I gave her names of potential witnesses, if ever there was a trial. I said my goodbyes.

Every person on this planet will stare down death. This sheer act requires bravery and a certain sense of awareness.

On the day I fled, I had my new car piled high. Seventeen years of life in this terrain of ours, I was free.

Nearly a year since I fled our field. You try to come hunting for me. I have endured blackmail, a house nearly sold out from under me. I suffered your screeches in the still of night. From my new hole, I gazed at the bright moon, alone but full of strength and stillness.

I may have been your prey, I never let you make me into a predator. Although I am a huntress now. Far away from you, I became the owl in the tree. Instead of hunting to kill, I will help another. I will keep sharing my story to bring hope. When the time comes, I will fulfill the promise I whispered to the tree which you once sat on- I will help another escape their own field.

*The picture enclosed is where I fled to safety. I sat under these trees and gained my strength.