Pretty miss trouble
Telltale crimson trail: part 7
“You forget where the vacuum is kept?”
It was the first thing she said, glancing down pointedly at the little heap of cigarette litter. I stooped to pick up the pieces.
“So… how was the coffee?” Standing back up, I tried to frame a smart comeback, but settled for just looking bemused. I’m no actor.
“Long wait, was it?” This was torture. “Or maybe you went for groceries?”
It was like being quizzed by a wife suspicious of another woman. I tried to play the faithful husband, hurt by the insinuation. Did I say I was no actor?
“What is this, Stevie?”
“What is what, John?” Her voice was neutral. Clinical. “I’m just curious what was so important, it took you away from your crime scene, earlier.”
I didn’t like the emphasis she placed on “your.” Maybe I’d just imagined it.
“Stevie, I stopped for a coffee is all. Why the fuss?”
“No reason, John. Just wondering… By the way, Captain wants to see you.”
This made me jump. I bit off the “What about?” I nearly said. I must have looked guilty as hell. I could feel her eyes bore deep into my being, as she fixed me with a cold glare.
“You better go. You know what he’s like.” She made no move to leave. This time it was me that left her inside the house.
“I’ll help myself to coffee,” she said as I stepped out through the doorway. “You need to get a better door lock.”
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Read episode eight: Comeuppance
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About the Creator
Raymond G. Taylor
Author living in Kent, England. Writer of short stories and poems in a wide range of genres, forms and styles. A non-fiction writer for 40+ years. Subjects include art, history, science, business, law, and the human condition.
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Long dark night
If I’d been a character in a detective story, they’d call this the long dark night of the soul. Drawing deep from the amber leaf, I knew why. I took in another lungful, tasting like a motorman's glove. I laughed at myself, thinking up a Chandler-Marlowe quote at a time like this.
By Raymond G. Taylor2 years ago in Fiction
📢 Raise Your Voice Thread: 01/08/2026
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By Raise Your Voice by Vocal5 days ago in Resources
Comments (9)
Partners. Closer than spouses & slightly more suspicious.
This is such a wonderful and fun challenge!! The installments have all been so good!
I'm getting the feeling that John is covering for his brother somehow. Just because his wife died doesn't mean is brother did too; what if he's in jail or on the lam because of drug-related reasons, specifically cocaine, and John did what he did to help him or his partners out? I don't think John has done this sort of thing before, judging by how reckless he's being. What would motivate him other than his family? Maybe a cop killed his wife or something... Love this series!
My prediction for part 8 : https://shopping-feedback.today/fiction/tainted-coffee%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E%3C/div%3E%3C/div%3E%3C/div%3E%3Cdiv class="css-w4qknv-Replies">
Loving the drama that might happen
There is a relationship between these two characters. Tension building.
Still loving how you keep building the tension a dram at a time. I’m starting to get the creepy crawling feeling that Ray Bradbury’s best stories produce. Great storytelling, Ray!
Great fun to read!
Oh boy, now the Captain wants to see him? Things certainly aren't looking good for John! Eager to know what happens next!