Pluto

*HELLO, WE’VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU IN REGARD TO YOUR B-Z DEVICE WARANTY. WE URGENTLY NEED TO SPEAK-

“God, stop! Close window! Get out of the way – can’t fickin’ see!”

Mik, what the hell, man? You shoutin’ in the headset, cuz. Distorts it all to bunk over here in my ears. Get a hit and chill, man.

“I just did, I already reached my cap for this block and-“

*EXOTIC GIRLS ARE WAITING FOR YOU! CLICK HERE TO-

“God! Ah!”

Dude! I’m about to ban you from my digi-room if you don’t pull the microphone away from yo face!

“Ah, shut up – your sheez ain’t so lit.”

My sheez ain’t lit? Uh, my sheez ain’t lit?! You gonna load up in my 34K digi-room and hit my B-Z for free – no credits – and then rank on my dope?

“Ah, chill, fuzz – patch me into that Jet Ride. Oh! Wait, fifteen min mark – new block – hold on.”

*B-Z INJECTION READY. ARE YOU SURE?

“Yes!”

*PLEASE REMAIN STILL WHILE INJECTION COMMENCES. A CHIME WILL ALERT-

“Yep, yep, alert me when that pow gonna hit. Hit me!”

*NEW NOTIFICATIONS: YOUR DIGI-FAM IS HUNGRY. YOU HAVE NOT FED THE CHILDREN IN – ONE HUNDRED, SIXTY-THREE – HOURS.

Yo Mik, you gonna be left with nobody if you don’t take care of your people.

*YOU HAVE 63 NEW PEOPLE-APP TAPS AND 98 NIC TOC MESSAGES. STARTING AUTO-PLAY.

Mik, I can hear that. I don’t wanna have to hear Mizzie’s forwards, yo.

*NEW NIC TOC: I’m so sick of these mother-effing screenshot trolls. I disabled my screenshot permissions on purpose! I’m allowed to show as much nipple as I want without some creepo keeping the vid. It’s such a violation.

Mik, dude. Shut it.

*NEW NIC TOC: Hey fans! Ya’ll ready to see this deek again?

Mik, the frick, man? You are not sitting there, blasted to stone cold, staring at that! I’m so glad you ain’t sharing vision.

*NEW NIC TOC: God, I can’t take another person saying this nation is a democra-centracy. Repeat after me – we-are-a-plutocrapublic. That’s plu-to-cra-

“Ah, frik. I’m back. That hit zoned me, man.”

Hmm... You holdin’ that locket, aren’t you?

“Shut up, fool. I know you grab that teddy bear when you hit stone cold.”

Ha ha, alright, alright. Don’t jank on my anchor. It keeps me calm. But, hey, I ain’t been there in a long time. My sheez dank – 64 memory, i24 processing – I got this set up tweaked to perfection, cuz. That’s why it’s just you gettin’ all them pop ups. I got a code you can use at Zing’s. If you… you… and…

“…You alright?”

*AMAZING ZALE AT ZING’S – UP TO 50% OFF – ALL NEW GROUNDING ANCHORS – FIDGET DEVICES-

Like I was sayin’. You gonna need to upgrade. I’ll send you some deals.

“Fool. We ain’t all rollin’ online with Daddy’s settlement credits, downin’ apps like it’s Bezo Day. My taxes already ate up.”

Yeah, on that B-Z. You got to space it out.

*STONE COLD SIMULATOR – ENDURE REALITY ON YOUR OWN TERMS. 699 CREDITS TO START.

“Fifteen minutes is spacing it out, yo. I can’t hit that button fast enough. I need an auto.”

You know you ain’t never getting no auto. You’d never sleep. You know you die if you don’t sleep.

“Worth it. I get up in the night to dose.”

Ha ha, like you know what ‘night’ is.

“Ha ha, well I got the Time Zip app – sets a night pattern. Sometimes night can be fifteen minutes.”

Psh, ‘sometimes.’

“You know it. Gotta get by somehow. We on the bottom level of this nation.”

With everyone else.

“With everyone else. All of them right here in front of us – everybody – all the time.”

*NEW FACE CALL FROM ‘Mizzie’ – ACCEPT?

“And that’s what I’m talking about. Yes, accept. What up, Mizzie?”

(AUDIO MUTED)

What’s she doin’ muted, Mik?

“She knows you listenin’. She’s texting that she’s out of credits – she got the Blue Zone B-Z.”

You better tell her to share. Why she muted?

“She don’t trust you. Here, I’ll tell her – s-e-n-d m-e m-o-r-e n-u-d-e-s.”

She gonna do it?

“She said we got to go to her Only-Members room. Na, I don’t wanna see that show no more. No matter how much crazier her sheez get.”

Like you can even enjoy that.

“What you talking about? Oh, man, she’s beggin’ now.”

You know what I’m talkin’ about. You hit that B-Z so much, you can’t get stiff.

“Shut the fu-

*NEW URGENT NOTIFICATION FROM ‘Boss’ – ACCEPT?

“Do I have a choice?”

*I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

“Yes, accept.”

What does that chode want?

“Uh… I got to finish those new product codes by the end of the day or he’s going to cut off my water.”

Nothin’ like death to motivate work.

“Yeah, already lost gas. It’s probably cold in here. Ha ha.”

Ha, what you gonna do if the B-Z wears off and you find out for sure?

“I guess then I’m gonna finish them product codes. Boss called me a ‘urinal cake’.”

A what?

“I don’t know, doesn’t sound tasty.”

Bet you’d eat one on Only-Members.

“Hell yeah, for enough credits.”

*DO YOU FEEL UNFULLFILLED? JOIN MY SELF-LOVE ROOM AND TELL THE WORLD TO ACKNOWLEDGE YOU FOR THE AMAZING PERSON YOU ARE. COME, FIND FULFILLMENT BEHIND YOUR SCREEN.

“Fulfillment behind your screen.”

Uh huh, you feel fulfilled, Mik?

“You know it. I’m good already. Tap-tap.”

*YOU HAVE – TWO – MORE MINUTES UNTIL YOU MAY INJECT.

“Son-of-a… This is forever. Right here. Two minutes.”

Drama.

“Stop being a goodie. How do you keep steady, then?”

Well, I wasn’t gonna tell you, but I got an EX.

“What?! You got an extended release? How you afford that?”

I mean, you know how. You can get one. I’ll send you a code for a free trial hit.

“No. You still pushin' that under-age flirt site?”

Dudes keep paying and they ain’t taking it down, so… I mean, I can get you in if you want to push some code in some sites to direct traffic.

“God, they don’t even know you’re an old dude.”

I ain’t old, skink.

“You old. Nobody lives past forty, now. You know that, right?”

Gran lived to almost fifty.

“Well, he was only on the B-Z for five years.”

He fought it, too. He was actually at a real hospital, and they put in the injector when he was under. That's an olds for you - don't know a good thing when it's given to you.

“Bet he didn’t fight it after that first dose.”

Nope.

“Speaking of-“

*PLEASE REMAIN STILL WHILE INJECTION-

“Will do, oh wise one.”

*NEWS ALERT: PRESIDENT BEZO ANNOUNCES TAX REFORM, NEW CUTS FOR THE WEALTHY, NEW B-Z TAX.

“Delete.”

Oh, sheez – look at this meme I’m sending you.

*NEW MESSAGE FROM 'Turd Burgler' - Newbie kids on B-Z get internal shocks.

“Oh! Oh! You can hack a B-Z unit like that?!”

I know, right? Ha ha.

“Oh my God! Look at them spasms... Oh, this one is totally dead.”

Which one, the girl?

"Yeah, sucks too - she was hot."

*DIGIDOGS, DIGICATS, DIGISLAVES, MAKE ‘EM, BREAK ‘EM, HAVE YOUR WAY WITH ‘EM.

“Shut up! Gonna have my way with a dog?”

You can.

“I’m not hookin’ up with you, bro.”

Oh, nice one. Your simulator couldn’t match my size, anyway.

“Yeah, you know I got the XL. I see what you mean – may not form things that small.”

That’s right, you like them fat ones.

“I like to feel a full bootie. But, they got to be shaped with that thin middle and big boom booms.”

You only get one part at a time on that machine.

“And it’s always the butt.”

Ha ha, you a freak. You know you’d do anything that comes on your screen. Of course, that its, if you can get it up.

“Man, I’m fine. And, it don’t matter – young, old, freak, or what – it’s not like it’s real.”

It’s real enough. What, you thinkin’ of loggin’ off and goin’ to get someone?

“I mean, I would!”

You wouldn’t.

“YOU wouldn’t.”

Nope, I wouldn’t. I ain’t going nowhere. I don’t even know if I can walk at this point.

“I just don’t need to go nowhere. I’m good. I get my dose.”

*NEW PEE-ZEE-WEE. NOW, YOU DON’T HAVE TO THINK TO URINATE. NO MORE SENSATION. JUST-

“Stop.”

Man, I think I smell. Imma powder up some.

“You can smell? I mean, what does it matter?”

I like to feel like I smell good. It feels healthy. I use the Bruf Brand, Cedar. It’s-

“Anyway, when we goin’ to the Jet Room.”

Ah, hold up. Alright, and… there.

*ENTER JET ROOM?

“Yes. Now.”

*NOW PLAYING: NEW SONG - ‘PU AND AZ’ BY SKIZ MIZZLE FEAT. HARDY D AND MUFFZ

“Yes… and… whoa!”

Yeah, that’s the new patch.

“It’s so fast! My buzz just went through the roof.”

Oh, yes. Check out the star streaks graphics.

*PLEASE REMAIN STILL WHILE-

You not dosing now?!

“Oh… oh.”

Mik?

“So… fast.”

You stupid mother fu-

*HEART RATE WARNING

Mik!

*CLICK HERE TO SEE THE YOUNGEST GIRLS-

Mik! Hey- you- you-

*BREATH WARNING – PLEASE SIT UP FOR ORGAN MASSAGE

M- M- Mik!

*CONNECTION LOST – EMERGENCY SHUT DOWN

--

“Oh God. Not again.

--

“Keep it cool. Keep it cool. Get the locket. Ok. Alright. Just breathe. Trace the shape. Concentrate. Trace the heart. It’s going to be alright. It’s just booting. Heart-shaped locket. Right. Alright. Concentrate on the locket. Ok, screens are off. No, please. It’s dark. It’s so dark. Why are my legs doing that? C’mon, I need another hit. Please, come on. Ok, calm. It's cold. Concentrate on the locket. Concentrate on your anchor. Screens come on. Screens come on. No, screens are not on. Screens are-

What?

Someone is here.

Oh my God.

Where even is here? How long has someone been here? Keep it cool, Mik. Oh my God. Keep it cool, Mik.

*CONNECTED. REBOOTING.

“Oh, God. Hurry! Concentrate on the locket. No one is here.

Everything is fine.

C’mon. Click the button. Click the button. Click the button. Click the button. Click the button. Click the button. Click the-

*INJECTION READY. ARE YOU-

“Yes! Yes! Yes! I’m sure!”

*PLEASE REMAIN STILL WHILE INJECTION-

“Ah, more. More!”

*A CHIME WILL ALERT YOU WHEN INJECTION IS COMPLETE.

Ha ha, where you go, cuz? You look like you done lost your sheez.

“Oh, my God, man! I can’t handle these outs. I went to stone cold – shakin’ and loosing it – hearing people in the flat – feeling, like, wind or ghost or somethin’.”

What? People in your flat?

“I don’t know. Somethin’.”

Ha ha, you don’t know?

“Nope. I got my B-Z and I’m settled now.”

Damn, I need me a hit just listening to you.

“Uh, God.”

*NEW MESSAGE FROM ‘Mizzie’ – I SAW YOU BLIP! YOU BLINKED OUT! DID YOU LEAVE?

That nosey B.

“God. I was in the stone cold.”

You being dramatic. You’re back online now. You’re fine.

“I was feeling things. Like, my limbs were having pains and my head started, like, getting bigger.”

Getting bigger?

“I don’t know. That’s what it felt like.”

Alright, just let the B-Z flow and check notifications, scroll posts, comment, like and subscribe, share, reply, choose emojis, download, view meme, fade out.

“Sometimes you sound like you’re not even real.”

*STONE COLD SIMULATOR – ENDURE REALITY ON YOUR OWN TERMS. 699 CREDITS TO START.

Don’t think about it.

“Ugh, I feel overwhelmed. I can’t make it without this sheez. B-Z got me zoned. I ain’t never taking it out of my arm.”

And that’s the way we want it to be.

“That’s the way we want it to be.”

*THAT’S THE WAY WE WANT IT TO BE.