Pluto and Proserpina

My legs move themselves the second I realize it. I’m pregnant. I can’t get to nursery quick enough and I start crying as I sprint into the room we have prepared for the baby we so desperately wanted. We have been trying and I am so excited but it’s too soon. I haven’t told everyone I truly love Pluto. I have been putting it off for years, but I knew I would do it eventually. I thought I would have more time. I have no time. This baby is on the way and everyone is going to hate me and hate my wonderful husband even more than they already do. They are going to hate my baby.

This thought hurts the most and I don’t know whether it is from morning sickness or the terror I am feeling but I puke my lunch into the tiny trash can in the corner. Even the trash can is embellished with tiny amethyst gemstones Pluto picked out. He was the one who took the lead on the decorating, and he was so diligent it was as if he was a mother bird making a nest for her chick. He wanted it to be perfect. I can’t make it perfect. This sends another wave of nausea of over me.

As if my thoughts summoned him, Pluto comes rushing into the room and holds my hair back while I heave. He is soothingly rubbing my back, but the fear is too much and I can’t stop.

“Shh, it’s alright. I’m here.” he says as I continue to yield to the sickness overtaking my body. My sweat clings to me and his hands are cold as the rest on my upper back.

“Breathe. Imagine it blowing out like candles, one by one.” he whispers into my ear. With each fiery heave, I savor the cool space left inside of me. I spit once before leaning back against the crib, and he leans with me, tucking me into his arms.

“Pluto,” I stop to take a breath before giving him the news that will change our immortal lives. “I’m pregnant.”

I can tell he is overjoyed by the way his face lights up like the brightest gem in the underworld, but I see his face turn to confusion, followed by sudden understanding as he realized why I am so distraught.

“You’re scared.” he says with a sad smile. This is one of the reasons I love him. He knows what I am thinking without me having to voice it to him. We are the definition of soul mates, but no one will ever see it that way. I nod my head to confirm his statement.

“I thought I would have more time. I thought we would have more time. We need more time to show everyone we are in love and that our baby is a product of that, not a product of force and hate. I can’t have them hate you more, Pluto.” A tear slides down my face.

“Proserpina. I know the timing is odd, but it is exactly when it needs to be. We are having a baby. We want this. We know exactly why we want this. We have prepared in every aspect except this one, but think of what a great job we have done!” He pushes off the lilac wall to walk to the dresser. He reaches in and pulls out a pair of socks I made.

“Look at how cute these are!” he says. I have to admit, his excitement is starting to rub off on me. His smile makes my heart melt, and I can’t help but hope the baby inherits that from him. I can’t help but hope for a lot of things.

I hope my baby is delivered safely. I hope they are happy and healthy. I hope I get more than 3 hours of sleep at night when they are an infant. But more than anything, I hope I can be at peace with the situation.

Seeing Pluto obsess over baby socks, I realize that’s someone only I will get to see. Everyone else sees the lord of hell, because that’s what he is. That is the role he is meant to play. What they don’t realize though is he’s also kind, gentle, and sensitive. I need to accept that they might never get there, and that might be okay. Everything will be okay, as long as I have him by my side.

“What’s that look for?” Pluto says with a smirk. He has picked up a new pair of baby socks, but these are ones he made. He was a hard student to teach, but his enthusiasm made up for his lack of skill and basic coordination.

“I just love you. I love you with everything that I am. I am terrified about what is going to happen, but I don’t care about that anymore. Love trumps fear, and I love you. I am going to have courage, and I am going to tell everyone today. I will whether whatever storm comes our way. I love you” I say. I am crying, but not from sadness. Maybe it’s just the pregnancy hormones, but I am overwhelmed by the choice I just made, and I am happy with it.

“I love you more. Come here.” Pluto pulls me off the floor and brings me into a bone crushing hug. I can barely breathe, but I don’t want him to tighten his grip. I am safe and secure in his arms, and I could stay here forever.

“Do you think Cerberus wants to be god father?” he whispers in my ear. I can’t tell if he’s kidding so I push him off and I see that he’s laughing like a child on Solstice. I still do not know though, because he does love that monster with all his heart, and it would be something he would consider doing.

“Pluto, you are brilliant, but you are stupid if you think we are making a three-headed dog the god father of our child” I reply to the beautiful man I am lucky enough to call my husband.

“I personally think it is a wonderful idea, but as you wish sweet girl.” he says. He kisses my head and laughs into my hair some more, clearly still amused by his idea.

I pull away as I have come to terms with what I am about to do. I give him a quick kiss before swiftly walking out of the room to my study. It is time to write the letter confessing the truth. I touch my abdomen as I reach the room and search for a pen. I refuse to be afraid, so I pick up the pen and begin to write the next chapter of my life. I will convey my love in every word I write, and they will understand that I am carrying a miracle.