Pleasure Hour

"Why didn't you do your helmet time yesterday, Leaf?"

Leaf stared at the floor and felt his head boil with indignation.

"I had chores to do. I already felt fine..." said Leaf.

"Pleasure helmet time isn't optional," said Tristian. "I'm gonna have to report this to H.A. kid."

Leaf looked up and briefly met his boss's gaze. Tristian's eyes showed no malice, but calm, cold obedience to the machinery around them.

"I don't see why Human Assets has to be involved..." said Leaf.

"We'll discuss it tomorrow. Don't let me see another empty slot in your Pleasure Hour column. Remember what Ant says, 'pleasure is peace'."

Leaf stood up, pushed in his chair, and walked out of the office.

As he walked home through the congested downtown area, he noticed more "Help Wanted" signs than usual, posted on bodega windows and gas stations. His eyes lingered on the word "HELP" for an inordinate amount of time. "Strange way to announce you're hiring," he thought. "Kinda desperate."

When he reached his brownstone apartment building, the front doors, usually open, were locked shut.

"Ugh..." said Leaf.

He looked around on the door, and found a sign that said, "If you need assistance, please call office staff at 212-867-5309".

As he rummaged around in his pocket for his phone, he reread the sign.

"Assistance...assistance, my ass. I'll probably be waiting here 30 minutes for a key."

He called the listed phone number, and his eyes wandered past the door. He stared vaguely at a First Aid box attached to the wall inside.

"Aid for the hypothetical heart attack, but no aid for me," he thought.

Finally a neighbor walked outside on their way to work and let him in. He entered his apartment and slumped down in a tattered armchair. Dirty dishes oozed out of the sink like pus from a wound.

He picked the "helmet" up off the coffee table, and put it on. It had three parts-- a video mask (which looked like the old VR headsets), headphones, and two electrodes which attached to the temples with suction cups. The mask was emblazoned with a logo that read, "FUG Industries". After flicking the on-switch, he was thrust into an immersive menu screen.

The Observers were currently only allowing him three options for Pleasure Hour. He could choose a comedy show, a music concert, or pornography. Leaf used to submit requests to watch educational programs on the culinary arts or carpentry. He argued to the Observers that these gave him more pleasure than music or pornography. His requests were rejected.

He usually chose the music, but he didn't enjoy the contemporary music very much. Boredom was banned. The electrodes would gently zap you if you didn't meet a minimum stimulation threshold, so he decided to watch the pornography tonight.

The video started in a sparsely decorated living room. From his point of view, he was sitting on a couch in the living room. When he looked down, he saw another man's legs and feet.

Suddenly, a beautiful redhead in heavy makeup ran into the room. She looked frantic.

He perked up a bit in surprise.

"Oh my god, please help me! I'm trapped in here, they're forcing me to have sex with strangers all day! My name is Kala Walsh. I used to live in Toledo, but I don't know where this is! They haven't let me outside in a year!" said Kala.

She looked deep into what Leaf supposed was the camera, and the desperation in her eyes was visible.

"Please! Why don't any of you talk!?" Her voice cracked.

"I'm not there," said Leaf. His voice seemed far away with the headphones on.

He saw a hand reach up and grope Kala in front of him. She recoiled in fear.

"Please! I'm begging you! Please help me! Please don't make me do this!"

Her blue eyes trembled with terror. He couldn't look away. It wasn't pleasant, but he wasn't bored.

The hands on the screen in front of him reached up and tore off her blouse.

"No!" she wailed. "Why won't anyone listen to me? Listen, I'm from Toledo, Ohio. My family and friends don't know where I am. Please, help me!" said Kala as she backpedaled.

Leaf reached up and tore off the helmet.

"Pleasure Hour incomplete. Please rettach helmet and resume," said a disembodied, robotic voice from a speaker on the wall.

"Computer, can I switch to the music programming? The porners are doing some weird dramatic metafiction thing," said Leaf.

"Negative," said the disembodied voice. "Attention Deficit Disorder is an illness. Resume programming in same subject."

Leaf put the helmet back on, and resumed. The actress was a completely different person, in a different room.

"Hmm...computer, why isn't the original video playing?" asked Leaf.

"File corrupted," said the disembodied voice. "Playback error. New video initiated."

"Hmm..."

The rest of Leaf's night proceeded normally, until he fell asleep.

He dreamt that he was walking around a small midwestern city. A skyscraper with a red star towered above him. Everywhere he went, the people around him made snide comments to him or about him.

"Oh, sure, come visit Toledo 10 years after I called you. You should work as a waiter," said a young blonde woman passing him on the sidewalk.

His head turned to follow her. "Huh?"

He continued walking. He stepped inside a coffee shop, and walked to the counter. A young barista with a mustache looked at him with contempt and said, "Oh, are you in desperate need? Beg me for a coffee, maybe I'll bring it to New York in ten years."

The rest of the dream was similar. He remembered that he was looking for someone, but he couldn't remember who. He woke up early with tears dripping down his cheeks.

"Inappropriate dream material detected," said the computer voice. "Please report for work an hour early, and submit a dream report to the Human Assets department."

Leaf ate his breakfast quickly, and then did an internet search for Kala Walsh. The search returned one address in Toledo for that name. He wrote the address down, left his apartment, and walked to a train station.

He took the first train to JFK, bought a plane ticket to Toledo, and walked over to an airport coffee shop.

He daydreamed about the beautiful red-haired woman while he waited in line. His reverie was disrupted by the cashier's scolding, "Still waiting, huh pal? Wanna order a coffee, or drool some more?"

"...huh? How did you know to say that to me?" said Leaf.