Playing it Cool

Sam was watching TV in her pajamas and fuzzy socks. The socks had Audrey Hepburn on them. There was a metal bowl filled with popcorn to her right on the side table. Nothing too interesting was on TV and Sam was bored.

The living room windows were open. Sam enjoyed a nice gentle breeze flow in through the screened in window. The wind always made her daydream. She thought about how wonderful her trip to Istanbul had been.

“Boo!” Rowan popped up from the outside of the window.

Sam had just picked up the popcorn bowl and it flipped as she was startled. “Oh, it’s just you. Scared me, you little turd! I outta slug you through the screen and all, you goofball!”

Rowan laughed and then pressed his nose up on the screen so that he looked like Miss Piggy from The Muppets. “Hey Sam, I have an idea!”

“You do? Which bank should we rob today?”

“Hmm. Tempting. I could use some extra cash, but no I was thinking of something else…”

“Something more legal, you mean?”

“Yeah…” He trailed off distractedly. “Oh, and nice socks by the way. Audrey always did have such a nice woman smolder didn’t she?”

“Women don’t smolder. They glimmer and glisten.”

“Oh, okay. That. Need help cleaning up the popcorn on the floor?”

“I’ll get my Roomba vacuum.”

“Ok. I was thinking… you really need to get out of the house.”

“And do what?”

“I’ll buy you a Murphy's Irish Stout or two or three…”

“Haha, well now we’re talking!” Sam grinned.

“Yeah, let’s walk down to that one new place that has cajun food and fried ice cream! Too bad I don’t have matching jammies and socks like yours… then we could just go out like that.” He rapped his knuckles on the screen, still on the outside.

“Umm, no thanks. I don’t like matching people and besides I have some human dignity left…” She paused sarcastically. “We can’t turn into people like the people in the People of Walmart videos!”

Rowan rolled his eyes. “Oh, no! Surely not! That would ruin both of our prestigious reputations in the community!” He laughed hysterically.

“Right and on that note… I’ll go put some real clothes on.” Sam left the living room.

Rowan began singing the lyrics to “Wrecking Ball” while pretending to break through the screen window like he was a wrecking ball himself.

Sam came back. Clicked the Roomba on to get the popcorn and came out the front door of her house.

“Are you sure a Roomba can suck up the popcorn? Sometimes brooms come in handy too!”

“It’s my house and my Roomba is aggressive!”

“How aggressive are we talking?” Rowan’s eyebrows perked up.

“One day, it took off three of my toes and that’s why I walk with a limp now…” She pretended to limp down the sidewalk.

“Oh, that’s vicious! So, it’ll suck that popcorn up real good then! Your house might smell like a movie theater though if you forget to clean it out.”

They kept walking to the cajun restaurant bantering along the way. They sat down at the bar to order their food and drinks.

Sam saw the female bartender, before thinking she blurted, “You look just like Audrey Hepburn!”

The bartender had on bright red lipstick. She giggled, “Thanks!”

Rowan covered half of his face. Half mouthing, half whispering to Sam, “Show her your socks!”

Sam waved the idea away. Whispering back, “No, we’re trying to play it all cool here, remember?”

Rowan furrowed his eyebrows. “I don’t remember this agreement, or talk, if we ever had a talk about this… acting cool stuff…”

“Okay, okay, whatever… whatever. Let’s just cut to the drinks,” she said as she smiled at the bartender.