Petite Boîte à âme

“It does have a particular attraction, even when realizing it’s completely artificial.” I held the little square package up to the light, hoping to get some greater insight. “It’s peculiar. The skill it must have taken to bring this about to create someone’s world. Peculiar indeed.” Shelly was intrigued and mesmerized by all of its creation. “Simon, read this.” She held a tiny box next to the sunlight streaming in. I gently dusted the box with a soft brush. When I blew tenderly across the inscription words suddenly appeared. Shelly stood breathless in the moment as she read the inscription: “A set of circumstances that make it possible to do something.” I heard myself whispering each word louder than the next. I repeated it multiple times. “These little boxes are opportunities, Simon.” Shelly said, “Do you know what this is, Simon? Do you? Opportunity. I am holding an opportunity in my hand. That inscription is the very definition of an opportunity. Should we open one?” The radiant glance from her beautiful eyes beamed with joy. I shuffled my feet around and my hesitation was obvious. “Baby, as factitious as I want to believe this is, it’s as equally overwhelming. Let’s take a step back, retreat for a moment. I know you want to invest more than your interest into this project.” The little suspicious brown boxes were all wrapped up tightly in their brown paperwork and it was starting to take a gripping hold of us. Shelly agreed to take a step back and revisit this at another time. I knew I was feeling a false sense of relief, but in the moment I needed that and more.

Unlike many people, I love mornings. I wake to a beautiful, creamy, bold and well balanced cup of coffee. The only thing better is when I wake up to my gorgeous wife holding it. I’d take her over the coffee anytime, don’t get me wrong, but the coffee does hold a close second. “How did you sleep, Sugar-Babe?” I asked while reaching for my mug. “I had a little trouble falling asleep. My thoughts were dancing around and pulling at my heart to join in.” She leaned back in the door frame with one leg up. She looked like a center fold picture. “What do you mean?” I asked her as I took my first drink of coffee, thinking to myself isn’t it the first always the best sip? I had a good idea of where this conversation was going because she was enticing me with coffee and wearing my button-down shirt that covered her tiny cut-off jeans shorts. “I know in my heart we shouldn’t open the box. My intellect, my fascination and my imagination leads me to believe this is the right move. Don’t you feel it.” She drank a long and slow drink of her coffee. As her lips shimmered, I totally was frozen. “Simon, are you listening? My head nodded yes as I rose to my feet. Cupping her back, I pulled her close. She pulled up her coffee cup to my lips, knowing that wasn’t what I wanted. Standing on her toes she tilted the cup up, I bent down to take a drink and it was empty. She took off running and her laughter filled the house. Her laughter turned to screams as I caught her with one arm and pulled her over my shoulders. She didn’t think about that little brown package for several days.

“Simon, wake up. Wake up! You’re having a nightmare.” Shelly sat on my side of the bed and looked concerned. Startled I sat straight up. “It’s okay baby, we don’t have to open any of the boxes. I don’t want this disturbing your sleep much less your days.” Shelly gently kissed me. “It’s overwhelming, Shelly. A box. You open it and it quickly looks like a floor plan around you. Your past follows behind you, your future in front of you and you stand on “X” -your present moment, a treasure. It’s the buy-in opportunities, buying occasions, buying experiences, to plug in to your current existence. The left and right are completely different from your past, present and future. Standing in one spot you can live out life after life and time isn’t a concern, nor does it matter. I don’t think it’s something we should buy into.” I laid back on the pillow she stacked behind me. “Simon, we are still in control. We can enter and leave at any time. We would be on the ground floor of something that will take a hold of this world. It’s groundbreaking to say the least. We will literally make new paths, start new chapters and be able to make corrections.” As she climbed on the bed she sat down straddled over me. “Simon, baby you’re the neurologist they want on this. You are the brains baby. They want you to help them build the brain. Simon this is happening with or without us. Our ‘no’ will only delay its progress. Why would we delay any action, why wait, what’s your hesitation?” Her confidence was mesmerizing. This is why I married her. She was brilliant, adventurous, stunning and down to earth. “Stop Shelly, you know I love the way you look, this beauty gets me into so much trouble.” I mumbled as she kissed my lips. Once again, the box subject was tabled.

“How does this tie look?” I asked as I stood closely behind her as I tied it around my neck. “It makes your sexy green eyes pop.” She said as she turned and stuck a biscuit in my mouth. “Listen baby, I want to open the box. I want to see for myself what it has to offer. Will it enticing me or dissuade me? How will we know if we never unlock it? The seduction of its secret and mystery may be all of its charm.” Shelly pulled up a bar stool and sat down. I filled up our coffee cups and brought our plates to the table. “Shelly, sugar-babe, my love, you are right. The lack of knowledge about this little proverbial mysterious strange box, is not a responsible move on our part. The more I push the idea away the more desirable it becomes. I know what you meant about your heart not wanting to get emotionally entangled. We have to keep this on an intellectual level. If you we can make this promise to each other, I agree to opening one box.” I said this hoping that most things, its appeal was the uncertainty. “Simon initially I resisted this. The idea of opening this up completely, I was against it. We share the same fear. If we look at different paths, different destinations, don’t you know I’ve gone down that road of thoughts. Of course I promise you I have considered what I’d do if we were faced with new love interest.” She took my hand and placed it on her heart continuing in a soft whisper afraid of her own words. “Simon, I am a career behavioral expert. All that is in me now, all that I know, I could never love another. This will be the greatest trust building process we have ever encountered. If we do this, we have to be forgiving and accepting. We have to be vulnerable, Simon. We can open up the waters and slow wade together into the deep end.” She held the box out. I took the box and walked to the center of the room.

Both of our eyes were opened to the reality that was concealed in this box and many more just like it. We were both ready to see and realize the truth about it and about us. The first opportunity I opened was turning a crisis into an opportunity. I had already lost both of my parents, one to a misdiagnosis. Would I dare to turn this crisis into an opportunity. Shelly and I discussed this at length. To bring back someone from heaven or hell or beyond. A person might think this would be an easy decision. I had always said if I had one more chance to talk with either parent I would gladly do it. Now I realized how much this really entailed. Where or what would I be pulling them from. I looked over my shoulder and watched my past. I saw mistakes and miracles. I looked into my future and saw great expectations and hope. I looked to my right and a cold wind blew through me. My left side was warm like a summer's night. As quickly as everything was laid out, suddenly it was wrapping up. I heard voices and saw images above my head then I heard a loud snap. The box was closed. Shelly stood with tear filled eyes. “I don’t want to do this. I’m so sorry for asking you to do something against your best judgement.” Shelly fell into my arms and the little brown package laid at our feet. “What changed your mind?” I pulled her back to see her expressions as she spoke. “I saw each tragedy you have gone through that you turned into opportunities, Simon. You became a neurologist because your father was misdiagnosed. You treat me as an equal, because so many of the women in your family weren’t. I don’t know what I was thinking. I was not thinking. Let’s let the creator of all of this continue doing their job, creating. Let’s honor that by living our life to the fullest as we already are. I don’t want perfect. Perfect is an illusion. I want authenticity. I want you. With that, the box at our feet was crushed by her heel. “You are the only soul package I need.” Shelly said so softly and sweetly.

The End