Pecking Order: A True Story Incognito

There were eight hens in the coop.

There was food and room enough for all

to be happy, to be content.

Farmer Marie squinted her eyes, shook her head slowly back and forth.

Hens, she was told, would produce more

if they had to compete for their rations.

Farmer Marie, posted a BIG sign in the chicken coop.

“Let the competition begin!”

“What be the rules?” clucked Fluffy Hen.

“Just follow di-rections”, Farmer Marie de-cried and pointed to the BIG sign.

Farmer Marie squinted her eyes, shook her head slowly back and forth.

Fluffy Hen had packed on a few extra pounds of late.

Reluctantly Farmer Marie gave Fluffy Hen

one, little itty-bitty, pellet instead of her regular portion of feed.

“Lean, mean, laying machines, Ladies, that’s what we want ‘round here!” announced Farmer Marie.

Leghorn Hen went up to the BIG sign. Read it line by line,

then read it again, then read it a third time.

The sign made no sense to Leghorn Hen

“Hens who Scritch and Scratch harder win more feed, it says”

Leghorn Hen had great trouble scratchin’ when she should scritch; scritchin’ when she should scratch, how was she to Scritch and Scratch harder?

Leghorn began to run this way, then that way, then the other way and back.

Farmer Marie squinted her eyes, shook her head slowly back and forth

then said, “ Try again”

she tossed Leghorn Hen a scattering of feed, barely enough to survive.

Leghorn Hen cried fowl, over and over and over and over

running this way and that way and the other way and back.

Farmer Marie did not care if it was fair or not —

what did equity mean anyway?

Fancy Dancy Hen looked at the BIG sign and saw the words

“MORE PRODUCTIVE.”

Fancy Dancy decided that meant looking as busy as a beehive.

She scritched and scratched and danced about.

Scritched and scratched and danced to the left.

Scritched and scratched and danced to the right.

She spun in a circle three times round then went three times round ta- other way.

Farmer Marie was impressed at the choreography nodded her head

slowly up and down with approval,

“All you Hens look at Fancy Dancy — she is one busy chick! A fat fist full of feed is Fancy Dancy’s reward.”

Fancy Dancy danced off to the corner

no one could see how much feed she had for herself.

Dancy knew she really hadn’t been productive,

but she so enjoyed dancing around.

She also knew she’d stolen her “moves” from Fluffy.

Guinea Hen, calm as always, first slowly scritiched. She looked for a reaction, the hens seemed to approve.

Then Guinea Hen scratched, stopped and looked for a reaction. The hens seemed to approve.

Guinea Hen then scritched and scratched, slow and steady moving more like a wise old owl than chicken with its head……”

Farmer Marie squinted her eyes, shook her head slowly back and forth

she reluctantly gave Guinea Hen enough feed to feel full and satisfied,

"no more no less." muttered Farmer Maire

Guinea Hen crowed like a peacock announcing to all

“It is as it is and it is good..well enough.”

Long-tailed Phoenix Hen was too tired and maybe too lazy to read the BIG sign.

Long-tailed Phoenix Hen let out a long sigh of “ohhhhh welllllll”

She neither scritched nor scratched. She simply sat on her perch,

long tail flapping in the slight breeze looking magnificent.

Farmer Marie thought she was pretty and kept her around for her looks.

But gave her a hardly-enough-to-survive-on ration of feed.

Long-tailed Phoenix hen sighed again,

“I’ve lived on less, I’ve lived on more. I’ll live on this”

But Long-tailed Phoenix vowed that she would crow no more.

Sultan Hen, read the BIG sign then turned sharply to face all the hens and clucked,

“This be unjust and this be unfair, and this be unconscionable!”

Sultan Hen continued,

“I un-derstand the intent…but the outcome be un-desirable.”

She un-ruffled her feathers and flew off to parts un-known.

Farmer Marie squinted her eyes, shook her head slowly back and forth,

“Un-be-lievable!” and she walked back to the house.

“Hey wait a minute!” clucked Ms. Top Chicken, “You forgot about me!”

Ms Top Chicken, had earned her spot by understanding the pecking order.

the capricious Farmer Marie confused her… her peck was clearly out of order. Ms Top Chicken mused out loud,

“Even though all hens are worthy, some worthy hens are denied, some given abundance, others hardly a serving between them…what am I to do?”

Ms Top Chicken thought to herself,

“Am I to Brood, fight, fly-way, scritch and scratch till my claws bleed? And what serving do I get, after all I am Top Chicken.”

Farmer Marie just kept walking, she paid no mind to the hens clucking, and scriticn and scratichin.

Top Chicken tried to calm the hens down,

“Worry not chick-a dees, there’s a new rooster coming to town! This BIG sign will be re-written, the pecking order would rearrange for sure and for certain… it will be better.”

She was most certain she would remain Top Chicken

With that in mind, she walked around taking a bite from each hen’s feed. Left poor Fluffy nothing.

With all the scritichin’ and scratin’ noise,

with all the pickin’ and peckin’ on each other

the hens failed to see an even BIGGER danger slip into the pen.

A platinum haired fox on the prowl for a nice chicken dinner.

Last year Fox had picked off the eldest hen. She was back for another.

She knew just what to do, her mom taught her when she was a kit.

“First, I get those hens distracted. Second, cut the oldest hen off from the clutch, third, supper time…”

or as Fox like to say “From farm to table, baby..farm to table!”

Fluffy Hen was the first to see what was happening.

She flew to the top of the coop and crowed a warning to all,

“Take care Fox, take care…this bird you are after is descendent from Tyrannosaurs Rex..and you a mere shrew!”

The Fox ignored her and kept smacking her lips.

The hens ignored Fluffy, after all she had no power, no leverage, no food.

They just kept on their scritticin and scratchin.

Fluffy Hen, un-fluffed her feathers stretched herself as tall and fierce as she could. Fluffy Hen exploded with an ancient Rooaaarrrr!

The hens stopped their scritticin and scratchin. They looked at Fluffy

Who wasn’t so fluffy anymore,

“FOX” stated Fluffy.

The hens scurried, climbing shoulder on shoulder looking like the giant beast of lore- all together they let out an ancient blood curdling

ROOAAARRRR! ROOAAARRRR!

Fox had never heard such a frightening sound.

She slinked off, shaking. “But I’m so hungry” she whimpered.

“I know! I’ll make Farmer Marie my friend and she will let me in the pen.”

Just you wait chickens, just you wait this is not over! She thought smacking her lips and trotting up to the house.

The next morning Farmer Marie walked to the coop to reward her chickens, as by decree of the BIG sign — according to their productivity.

Farmer Marie had company-a new best friend, the platinum haired fox.

Fluffy Hen saw them coming, “Hens, AGAIN!”

They formed another beast from ancient lore, even bigger and even scarier than the last.

ROOAAARRRR!

giggle, giggle, giggle — silly hens couldn’t help themselves.

Then another ROOAAARRRR!”

Collectively these Hens were madder than one wet Hen could ever be-

Fluffy sighed, if only Farmer Marie could see together they were

Magnificent, Powerful, PRODUCTIVE.

Farmer Marie was so frightened she tossed the rations in the air.

She ran for her life. Fox trotted behind barking,

“It’s a trick, come back, they are just Hen’s, stop running, come back… you good for nothing lazy wanna be farmer!”

“What did you just call me?” yelled Farmer Marie.

She did not like being called a wanna be.

Hens gathered around the spilled rations, each taking what she needed.

Collectively they decided to leave some in the bucket to share later just in case Farmer Marie every tried the BIG sign idea again.

The following morning Farmer Marie returned with more rations. She didn’t expect to get any eggs from her madder-than-a-wet-hen Hens.

Farmer Marie squinted her eyes, shook her head slowly back and forth astounded!

The Hens had laid more eggs than they ever before.

Odder still, all the Hens were happy — even Long Tailed Phoenix Hen!

Farmer Marie ripped the BIG sign off the coop.

She placed the feed in the middle of the pen and declared,

“Take what you want, take what you need. For sure, happy Hens work harder and are more productive than Hens forced to compete.”

“And what of that vixen, Platinum Haired Fox?” clucked the Guinea Hen in her slow silky voice.

Farmer Marie, sighed, “She fooled me once, she won’t fool me twice!”

Farmer Marie pulled a giant blow-up t-rex doll from her basket

placed it by the chicken coop gate.

“One more time ladies!” Top Chicken called out,

They all flew up in the air and landed on the T-rex

together they crowed

“ROOAAARRRR! We will compete no more!”

and then giggled as only Hens can.

Reflections

This piece started out as a poem about an awful work situation. My way of coping, transform the ugly in writing. Then the story became a children’s book (I'm still waiting on an illustrator to come through). It has reverted to its original poem-like-form.

The beginning is real. The middle is true. The ending is not. Farmer Marie has departed and is creating chaos elsewhere. The fox is now “Top Chicken” and has devoured four more HENS. Fluffy escaped the coop, but the new Farmer, Farmer Jack, is threatening to put her back. LOL, that rhymed --it is a poem now.