Pear Blossoms

Why can’t I be like you? You’re the most beautiful tree in town. You don’t get made fun of. I’ll bet you wouldn’t stick your foot in your mouth if you had a foot – or a mouth. You just stand there being admired. You’re useful too. You produce the tastiest pears, Bartlett, my friend. I can almost taste one now. Too bad it’s still cold. It will be months until anyone can partake in your offerings.

Bartlett, I’m sorry to say that I won’t be able to keep you company for very long today. I’m supposed to visit my dad. We’ll see if he shows up this time. You’d think he would be more enthusiastic about spending time with his 15-year-old daughter. I think he’s too hung up on his new girlfriend, Cindy. She seems nice, but I don’t think she wants any more to do with me than my dad – probably less. Why do parents have to split up and get new boyfriends and girlfriends? It isn’t fun for us kids.

Speaking of girlfriends, Bartlett, do you remember when I told you about Stephanie? The one I like as more than just a friend? I finally got up the nerve to bare my soul to her. On the way to school, I told it to her just like I practiced with you. I took her hands and told her, “Stephanie, I really like you as more than just a friend. I would like you to be my real girlfriend.” Bartlett, not only did I not get a girlfriend, but I also lost my best friend today. She slapped my face. She said she never wants to see me again. Then she ran off to school. Bartlett, I doubt you have any idea how much that hurt. I’m not talking about the physical pain, although she left a handprint which lasted for an hour.

I’m glad that you’ll never know such humiliation, because no one deserves that. Apparently, except for me. By the time I got to school, Stephanie had probably told everyone in our class. I’m just glad I told my mom first. She didn’t take it too well last night, but at least she heard it from me, and eventually, she told me it’s okay. If Stephanie calls her to shame me, she won’t get the backfire she’s expecting.

After I talked with Stephanie, a bunch of people were blowing spit wads in my hair during history class. When I stood up and yelled at them, Mr. Carlson sent me to the principal’s office, as if it was my fault the others were being such jerks. Then, to make matters worse, in the lunchroom, someone stuck out their foot and tripped me, making me hit the floor hard, and sending my peas, carrots, and bits of macaroni with meatballs flying everywhere. The laughter added to my humiliation.

How sad is it that I am unable to make a human friend? Bartlett, be glad that you are not a person. You are the only friend I have left on the planet. The world would be better off without me. I’m embarrassed that I’m crying in front of you. I can’t help it. Life is just too painful right now.

I was thinking, if you don’t mind, maybe I should hang myself from one of your branches tomorrow. I can bring a rope from my garage. I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt you. I wouldn’t even struggle. There is no happiness for my future. There is no beauty left in this world other than you, my friend.

At least by choosing to do this here, I would bring others to you. My last act would be to share you with others, Bartlett. Maybe people would even make some kind of a shrine at your base. That’s not such a bad thing, is it?

Hey, why are you smacking my head? Get your branch out of my hair. Wait a minute... Your first blossoms of the year! These are your most stunning white flowers yet. Are you trying to tell me not to give up? Are you telling me that there really is beauty left in this world? Maybe even for me? Thank you, Bartlett.

See, I can almost get my arms all the way around your trunk. Bartlett, I’m glad you’re still my friend. I will talk with you tomorrow, and every day after.

Please, if you or a loved one are having suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255.