Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

"Oh, no!" I gasped. "Do you want me to call the doctor?"

"No," he said. "It's just the flu. It's been going around the station. A couple of the other guys have had it, too. I'll just rest for awhile. I'll be fine." He headed for the bedroom. Just then, Montana came running from the opposite direction and crashed right into him.

"Daddy! Why are you home so early?"

"I'm sick," Alexei told him.

"Your Daddy needs to rest," I told my son. "He'll play with you another time."

"Aw...I hope you get better soon, Daddy."

"Thank you."

"Can I get you anything?" I asked my husband. "Some hot soup, perhaps?"

"I'm not hungry right now. I'll just take some meds and go to bed."

A couple of hours later, I went to check on him and took him a glass of orange juice before feeding the kids their dinner and nursing the twins. "Thanks!" he said gratefully.

I'd laid Jade down to sleep and was burping Juniper when Lara called again. "Oh, I'm sorry! I completely forgot!" I exclaimed. "I'm afraid Alexei can't do it today. He came home sick with the flu."

"Oh, no!" said Lara. "Well, I hope he gets better soon! We'll just have to try next month, then."

I could hear the disappointment in her voice and felt sad for her. "Well, one month isn't that long to wait."

I'd hardly hung up when the telephone rang again. This time it was Madison. "So how did it go?" she asked eagerly.

"It didn't," I told her. "Alexei came home from work sick with the flu, so we're just gonna have to try it again next month."

"That's too bad. Hey...maybe Ilya and I could help!"

I gasped in surprise. "You mean you wouldn't mind?"

"If it helps Lara and Cole to achieve their dream, why not?"

I was surprised that she didn't have the same misgivings I'd had myself when Lara had first made her request. She's a better person than me, I thought to myself.

Within days the entire family, including the twins, was sick with the flu. I still had to nurse the twins, of course, so I did it propped up in bed with pillows, as I was too weak to sit up. Thankfully, Mom came over to help for a few days, and Lauren filled in for her when she had to take a break. I don't know what on earth I ever would have done without them.

Alexei recovered before any of the rest of us did. One morning I awakened in a fevered haze to find that he was no longer lying beside me, and a few minutes later, he arrived with a cup of hot broth for me. "I wondered where you were," I told him.

"Mostly catching up on the laundry. It was stacked nearly to the ceiling. It's still piled up higher than you could ever imagine. There's several garbage bags full of used diapers from the twins too. Good thing the trash gets picked up tomorrow."

"I'll say!"

Even though he had so much to do, he still found the time to sit on the side of the bed and spoon feed the broth to me. "This is so sweet of you!" I told him.

He grinned. "Aw, it's the least I can do. Oh, I almost forgot! Whatever happened with Lara and that..." he giggled "...favor she needed from us...well, from me?"

"She called the day you got sick," I told him. "Madison volunteered Ilya to do it instead. I haven't heard anything back from them since then."

"Whew! Well, maybe that's the end of that story, then. I sure hope so, anyway."

Something occurred to me. "Alexei, if something had happened to me where I wasn't able to have any more children after Nevada, would you have married me anyway?"

"Of course! I love you, Addison. We would have worked something out. I'm just glad that wasn't the case." Just then Juniper began to cry. "Uh oh, sounds like somebody's hungry..."

I sent Montana back to school the following Monday morning. "Aw, Mommy, do I have to go back?" he protested.

"Yes you do. You've already missed a week, and you don't need to get too far behind. Besides, aren't you tired of just lying in bed watching movies all the time?"

"Nope."

"Yes you are." I tickled him, and he giggled.

"We missed you," said Katrina when we got to the bus stop.

"We've all been sick with the flu," I told her.

"All of you? Even the babies?"

"Yep."

"That's terrible!"

Soon it was time to register Nevada for four-year-old kindergarten for the following school year, so I drove to the building where Montana had attended four-year-old kindergarten two years previously. I pushed the twins in their double stroller as we entered the building. "Oh, I remember you!" the receptionist exclaimed when she saw me. "How's Montana?"

"Fine! He's in first grade this year."

"Glad to hear it. And he has twin baby sisters now?"

"This is Jade, and this is Juniper," I said proudly. I'd dressed the twins in matching outfits, except that Jade's was pink and Juniper's was purple.

"Oh, they're so cute!" she gushed. "How old are they?"

"Five and a half months."

"I'm three," Nevada volunteered. "But I'm gonna be four in July."

"My, you're a big girl!"

"Uh huh. And I'm goin' to school here next year."

"So you are!"

She made copies of Nevada's birth certificate and vaccination records, I filled out some forms, and then we were on our way home.

Easter came and went. We bought baskets for Montana and Nevada and did an egg hunt with them again. "I'm gonna share some of my eggs with Jade and Juniper, since they're too little to hunt for them," Nevada offered.

"That's very sweet of you, but they're too little to eat eggs this year," I told her. "Maybe next year."

"OK!"

It was in about the middle of May when Lara called me. "Guess what!" She was so excited that she was practically shouting. "I'm pregnant!"

"You're sure this time."

"Positive! I just had my first ultrasound!"

"Wow, congratulations! I'm so happy for you! So it worked out with Ilya?"

"It sure did! He came over the same evening you called and told me Alexei couldn't make it. It was a little awkward, but in the end things worked out just fine."

"Did you tell Ilya and Madison yet?"

"I was gonna call them right after I got off the phone with you. I wanted you to be the first to know."

"Aw, I'm honored! So you've actually seen the baby on ultrasound?"

"Yep. Well, really it's still so tiny it looks just like a peanut. That's what Cole nicknamed it, Peanut."

"How does he feel about this?"

"He's every bit as thrilled as I am."

"He doesn't even mind that another man is really the biological father?"

"Not at all! His name will be on the birth certificate, not Ilya's."

I wondered how Madison would really feel about Ilya's having fathered Lara's baby and couldn't wait to ask her. I got my chance when I ran into her at the supermarket that weekend. "So how do you feel about Lara being pregnant?" I asked her.

"I'm thrilled for her. She's been wanting a baby for so long. And guess what - I'm pregnant too! My due date's only a week after hers."

"Congratulations! Ilya must be over the moon!"

"He is, and so am I!"

I was genuinely happy for her, as I concluded that news of her own pregnancy must have softened any blow that might have resulted from Ilya's having gotten Lara pregnant.

After all the happy news, sad news wasn't far behind. One evening Alexei and I were relaxing at home when he received a telephone call from his family in Russia. I heard him talking in Russian for a long time, and when he hung up, his face held a grave expression. "My father's been diagnosed with cancer," he told me. "He has to have surgery in a few days, and the doctor told my Mom there's no guarantee he'll survive. I have to go to Russia right away. I have no idea when I'll be back."

He called the police department and explained the situation to them. They were very understanding and told him to take all the time off he needed to. Next he went into the bedroom to pack. I called Montana and Nevada from their play and told them what was happening. "Your Daddy's father has to have an operation, and your Daddy has to go to Russia to be with his family," I explained. "I don't know exactly when he'll be back, but Montana, you'll have to be the man of the house for me while he's gone."

"What's Russia, Mommy?" asked Nevada.

"It's a country a long way from here, on the other side of the world. It's where your Daddy's family lives," I told her.

"How long will it take for him to get there?"

"Only a few hours by airplane." While we'd been talking, Montana had found Alexei's police uniform hat and put it on. "Good boy," I laughed.

"I'm not a boy, I'm a man."

The following morning, I gathered up all the kids and took them to the van. After the twins had been born, we'd had to swap our car for a van so there would be enough room for all the car seats. The twins woke briefly when I took them out of their cribs but quickly went back to sleep when I fastened them into their car seats. At the airport, I put them into the double stroller and wheeled it into the airport with Montana and Nevada walking alongside me, each of them holding one of Alexei's hands.

"Well, I guess this is good-bye," he said before boarding the airplane. "I love all of you and I'm going to miss you very much. I'll be in touch as soon as possible." He lifted each of the twins and kissed their tiny cheeks, then told Montana and Nevada to be good as he kissed them both good-bye. Lastly he turned to me.

"Most of all I can't bear to say good-bye to you." He held me tight as he gave me an open-mouth kiss. "My bed will be so cold without you there to warm it. I'll be counting the hours until we're together again."

We watched until we couldn't see him anymore and then, feeling very alone, I loaded the kids back into the van and started home. Nevada cried so hard that I had to stop by the dollar store to buy her a toy to cheer her up. While there, I picked up some household stuff as well as make-up, several romance novels, and ponytail holders and barrettes for Nevada. While standing in the check-out line, I met up with Kennedy. "Would it be OK for me to bring Nevada over for a play date with Jordan this afternoon?" I asked her. "Alexei just had to fly to Russia, and she's pretty heart-broken about it."

"Sure! Jordan would love to see her again." She frowned. "I hope nothing's wrong."

"Alexei's Dad's just been diagnosed with cancer and has to have surgery."

"Oh, no! I hope he'll be all right!"

"Thanks. I hope so, too."

I drove the kids back home, fed Montana and Nevada, and nursed the twins. "Want to go play with Jordan?" I asked Nevada when I was finished.

"No! I want Daddy!"

"Are you sure? Jordan's your friend, and he'd love to see you again."

"I don't want Jordan! I want Daddy!"

"All right." I called Kennedy and told her Nevada didn't want to come over.

I didn't hear from Alexei until the afternoon of the following day, when I received an email from him. 'Just got settled in. Dad's in a lot of pain but seems to be in good spirits. Everyone else is fine. They want to know all about the twins, of course. The weather here is really nice, a lot cooler than it is where you are. Give everyone my love. I already miss you like crazy and wish like anything that I was holding you in my arms right now. Lots of love and a great big sloppy kiss, Alexei,' he wrote.

I wrote back to him right away. 'Glad to know everyone's doing OK. We're holding up pretty well, except that Nevada cried for you all evening long yesterday. She was so upset she wouldn't even go on a play date with Jordan, and you know how she loves to play with him. I hope your Dad will be OK. Tell everyone I said hello. Lots of love and a great big sloppy kiss back to you, Addison."

I hit 'send' and watched as my email hurtled through cyberspace toward its target. Then one of the twins started crying so I went to check on her.

The hours felt like days as I waited to hear back from my husband. Although I'd only met Ivan Romanov a handful of times, he'd always been very kind to me, and it would have been horrible if anything had happened to him. I didn't hear from Alexei for several more days, and then one night I received another email from him. 'Dad's surgery is tomorrow morning. Please pray it will be successful. Mom's beside herself with worry, and my sisters can't do anything but wring their hands and cry. It looks like I'm going to have to be strong for all of us.'

I felt sorry for him, all alone in a house full of hysterical women. I wished that I could be there to offer him my support, but I knew that it would have been next to impossible to have traveled by airplane with two infants and two small children.

As a distraction, Mom and I took the kids to the mall one day. While we were there, she told me about the time Dad's appendix ruptured and he nearly died. "We'd only been married a couple of months," she began. "It was before I got pregnant with you. One day we were hiking in the woods when he started complaining of a severe pain in his side. We came back home, and he laid down to see if it would go away, but instead it just got worse. By that night, he was hurting so badly I got really scared and drove him to the hospital. They told me that his appendix had ruptured and that if I hadn't brought him in right when I did, he would have died. They did emergency surgery on him right then and there, cleaned all the infection out and stitched him back up and put him on massive doses of antibiotics. He was in the hospital for about a week, and was still in a lot of pain even after he came home."

"Wow, that sure must have been scary!"

"It was one of the worst ordeals I ever went through in my life!"

At the food court, I had a salad and baked potato with sour cream and bacon for lunch. Later, we got photographs of all the kids at the photo booth. I kept putting off leaving the mall, because I knew that once I got home, all I'd have to do would be to mope around worrying about Alexei's father. However, I knew that Mom had stuff to do, and I also needed to nurse the twins and give Sage and Meadow their dinner.

When I got home, I immediately dashed to the computer to see if there was an email from Alexei. Nothing so far. I continued to check it regularly during the evening and night and finally heard from him early the next morning. 'Dad made it through surgery,' he wrote. 'They almost lost him once. His heart stopped beating and they had to restart it. He's still asleep, but they say he's out of danger now. I'll let you know when he wakes up."

With a sigh of relief, I finally went to sleep. I heard from Alexei again several days later. 'Dad's finally awake, but he's very weak and can't communicate very well. I miss you and the kids like crazy, but I want to make sure he's really going to be all right before I come home.'

'Stay as long as you need to. The kids and I are fine.' I was afraid that Alexei's mother and sisters might fall to pieces if he left too soon, but actually, the twins were both teething and keeping me awake at night almost as much as they had when they'd been newborns. Curious about which one of them would be first to cut a tooth, I watched closely, and it turned out to be Juniper. When she awakened crying to be fed one morning, I saw a sliver of white in her lower gum. "Well, how about that!" I laughed. "Your sister may have been born first, but you've sure got her beat in one area!" Jade's first tooth came in a couple of days later.

Alexei finally came home a couple of weeks later, and the kids and I went to the airport to meet him. Montana and Nevada ran ahead, and he lifted them both at the same time and held them tight as they babbled to him. "Hey! One at a time, please!" he laughed.

After awhile, he persuaded the kids to let him put them back down so he could greet me and the twins. He lifted them from the stroller one at a time and kissed their cheeks. "Mama told me you have teeth now. Can Daddy see?" he admired their new teeth, then turned to me. "My Addison," he murmured, holding me tight and kissing me passionately. "I want to thank you for waiting patiently..." he sang, and I giggled. "I'll make it up to you tonight," he whispered in my ear. I felt myself moisten in anticipation.

We went to the pizza buffet to celebrate his return, and that night, he fulfilled his promise.

Summer arrived, and I enrolled Montana and Nevada in swimming lessons. Montana had already been taking them for several summers, but this was Nevada's first time, and she was a little bit afraid. "It'll be fun," Montana encouraged. "It's just like playing in the bath, only without the bubbles." He held her hand as they walked to the pool together in their new swimsuits. I sat down in the bleachers to watch beside a brunette who smiled at me.

"Hi, I'm Callie," she told me.

"I'm Addison," I replied.

She cooed over the twins, who were wearing the same outfit in pastel green and orange this time, and told me how adorable they were, then said her son Adam had turned four and she was trying to get pregnant again.

She told me about her husband, a deacon whom she described as a 'Godly' man. I told her about Alexei, and she said she'd always held law enforcement officers in the highest of regards.

"They risk their lives every day to make the world a safer place for all of us," she reasoned, and I nodded in agreement.

After the day's lesson ended, Nevada wanted to stay so badly that she was close to tears. "We'll come back tomorrow," Montana assured her. I had to tempt her with a visit to the ice cream parlor to get her to leave without making a scene.

"I'm a mermaid now!" she told Alexei when he asked her how the lesson had gone.

Both children enjoyed the swimming lessons, which seemed to end entirely too soon. Callie invited me to go to church with her several more times, and I brushed her off as politely as I could. Not that I'm an atheist or anything. Her church just didn't sound like the kind I'd want to attend. I did, however, agree for Montana and Nevada to attend Vacation Bible School with Adam.

They were both dressed and ready when Callie arrived to pick them up the first morning. I held one twin in each arm as I walked out to the car with them. "Be good and have fun," I told them as they got into the car. Jade and Juniper watched with solemn brown eyes as the car drove away.

Determined to make the most of a morning in which my child care duties had been halved, I dove right into the housework with a relish. Time flew, and I was in the middle of dusting the furniture when Montana and Nevada returned bearing crayoned drawings. "Look what I made!" Nevada shouted excitedly, practically throwing her picture at me.

"Yeah, hon, that's real good," I told her. I made grilled cheese sandwiches for both of them and sat the twins in their high chairs to feed them their pureed vegetables. After Jade had spit her peas back out at me three times, I gave up and fed her sweet potatoes, which she gobbled right up.

The second morning, it was pouring rain and I halfway wondered whether Callie would change her mind, but she showed up right on time. I put Montana and Nevada's rain coats on them and kissed them good-bye. They didn't come home when I expected them to that day, and after about forty five minutes, I was frantic. I called the police department and asked to speak to Alexei.

"He isn't here right now," the receptionist told me. "He had to go pull somebody out of a mud puddle."

Thirty minutes later, Callie finally arrived with the kids, and I heaved a huge sigh of relief. "Sorry I'm so late," she said. "We got stuck in a huge mud puddle and had to wait for the police to come pull us out."

I laughed. "That's all right. I'm just glad everybody's OK."

Montana's birthday was later that week. He wanted to see a Power Rangers movie, so I took him to that, and we had his party later in the day. He received mostly Power Ranger stuff because that was what he'd asked for. "I'm gonna grow up to be a policeman, a rock star, and a Power Ranger," he announced to me and Alexei.

Alexei laughed and patted his shoulder. "Good luck with that."

Nevada turned four the following month, and I called Callie to invite Adam to her party. "Thanks for the invitation, but we've got an incredibly busy schedule for that day," she told me. "Adam's going to another party that morning, and we have out-of-town family staying with us that week. I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to decline."

"That's all right," I replied. Later I told Alexei about the incident.

"Sounds like she doesn't really want Adam to go to Nevada's party," he remarked. "If she really wanted to take him, she would have made time for it."

"I don't think she really wants to be friends at all," I replied.

Nevada's party was a blast anyway. Kennedy brought Jordan, of course, Patty came with Rachel and Daniel, and Cole and Lara brought Dylan, who'd grown to be a very active little boy. It was a real job just keeping him from getting into things he shouldn't. Lara's baby bump was barely showing.

"So how's it going?" I asked her.

"I seem to be over my morning sickness, finally!" she laughed. "Now I want to eat everything that isn't nailed down."

"I know the feeling," I sympathized.

"I'm sure you do, with twins! How did you ever control it?"

"I just kept reminding myself of what I'd look like after the babies were born if I wasn't careful."

Looking at her slightly rounded belly, I couldn't help but wonder how I'd feel if that were Alexei's baby growing in there. I suppose it's selfish, but I knew it would have really bothered me.

Aidan and Lauren arrived, and Lauren showed me the diamond ring on her left hand. We both squealed with happiness. "We're finally gonna be sisters!" I exclaimed. "So when are you gonna do it?"

"We're thinking maybe around Christmas."

"That's a nice time to get married. Then you can ring in the new year together."

"That's what we were thinking."

Alexei and I led the kids in playing a couple of games, and then it was time for cake and ice cream. Nevada blew out the flame on her numeral four candle, and then we all sang 'Happy Birthday' to her. Then it was time for her to open her tall stack of gifts. "This one's from me." Jordan grabbed one of the presents out of the stack and handed it to her. She ripped into it to find a Barbie hair salon set.

"He wanted to wrap it himself, so I let him," Kennedy laughed.

"Looks like he did a pretty good job," I told her.

"Thank you!" Nevada hugged her friend.

"Aw," said all the adults together.

The party began to break up not long after that. The guests left one by one until finally only Kennedy and Jordan were left. "Come on, Jordan. It's time to go," Kennedy called to her son.

"Aw, can't I stay and play with Nevada just a little while longer?" Jordan pleaded.

"Daddy's taking us all to see a movie tonight, remember?"

"Oh, yeah! Bye, Nevada!" Kennedy and I both laughed as he dashed to the car. Nevada looked a little disappointed, but I knew she'd get over it soon.

Almost before I knew it, it was time for the kids to start school. The elementary school bus came for Montana about thirty minutes before Nevada's four-year-old kindergarten bus came, so after seeing Montana off, I returned home for about fifteen minutes, then left again. I could tell that Nevada was just a little nervous on her first day. As she stood there in her new yellow dress with the matching bow in her hair, i could see the apprehension in her brown eyes.

"Everything's gonna be all right," I soothed. "Montana had lots of fun in four-year-old kindergarten."

"But what if I hafta go to the bathroom?"

"Just raise your hand and tell the teacher."

She grimaced. "And what if I get hungry or sleepy?"

"You'll have a snack time and a nap time." To me she looked so small climbing up the big steps of the bus, and suddenly I was glad to have the twins to keep me company for the morning.

The day passed swiftly, and soon it was time to pick Nevada up from the bus stop. I put the sleeping twins in their car seats and drove them to the bus stop to wait for her. To my tremendous relief, she was all smiles when she got off the bus. "We played ring-around-the-rosy!" she exclaimed.

"That sounds like fun," I replied. "I know you like to play that."

"Yeah, and we made necklaces out of fruit loops. See, here's mine." She showed it to me.

I laughed. "Better be careful to keep it away from the twins. They'll think it's a snack."

A couple of days after that, Montana brought home a form. "Can I be in cub scouts? Please, Mommy?" he begged.

I glanced over the form. "Sure, I don't see why not." I filled the form out and put it in his backpack the following morning. That Friday evening, I received a telephone call.

"My name is Mandy, and I'm the den mother for the cub scout group in this area," she told me. "Our first meeting will be Tuesday evening at three o'clock."

"Great! Montana and I will be there," I told her.

The following Tuesday evening, I dropped Nevada and the twins off at my parents' house and then drove to Mandy's house. She'd given me directions over the telephone, so I didn't really have any trouble finding it.

Mandy herself turned out to be a slender, stylishly dressed bleach blonde. "This is my son Trey," she told us. Trey was blond and was slightly taller than Montana. Several other mothers and sons were there: Sarah with her son Mitchell, Renee with her son Gabriel, and Chris with her son Cory. The first meeting mostly consisted of getting to know each other and discussing things like uniforms and books. That Saturday, I took all four kids with me to the boy scout council where the store was. While there, I met up with Renee and Gabriel.

"This is my daughter, Hannah. She's ten." She nodded toward the bored-looking blonde girl who'd accompanied them. "My, you must sure have your hands full!" She gazed in amazement at my children. "I've always wondered how people with twins handle all the extra work."

I shrugged. "You do what you have to. Also, my husband helps out a lot."

"Lucky you. Mine's a truck driver. Sometimes he's gone for weeks at a time."

I found all the clothing Montana would need and his book, paid for them, and went home.

At the next cub scout meeting, all the boys brought empty three-liter bottles to make terrariums. First Mandy gave the boys a lecture on photosynthesis, and then she and I helped them cut off the tops of the plastic bottles. Then they added pebbles, soil, and seeds. "I'm gonna grow my very own plant!" Montana said proudly as I drove home.

"That's right," I replied. "Just remember to put it in a sunny place, and don't forget to water it every day!"

At first Montana was very conscientious about watering the plant, and he was thrilled when the first green shoots began to peek up through the soil. However, one day he didn't go to the plant as soon as he got home like he usually did. "Caleb's Dad got him this great new game!" he told me. "I can't wait to see it!" Caleb was the little boy who lived next door.

"Aren't you gonna water your plant first?" I asked.

"I'll do it later," he promised. He stayed at Caleb's until almost dinnertime, and by then he was tired and hungry and had completely forgotten about his plant.

"Do you suppose I should water it for him?" I asked Alexei as we were lying in bed together that night.

"No," he replied. "Montana has to learn responsibility."

A couple of days later, the shoots had stopped growing and turned yellow with brown around the edges. "Montana, if you don't water this plant soon, it's gonna die," I told him.

"I'll water it as soon as I finish watching this movie," he told me.

A couple of days later, the shoots were completely brown. "Mommy, my plant!" Montana wailed.

"I told you over and over again to water it," I reminded him. He ran to his bedroom, and a few minutes later, I heard him sobbing. I felt a twinge of guilt but then remembered what Alexei had told me.

Montana's eyes were still red, puffy and swollen when Alexei got home. "What's the matter, Sport?" he asked my son.

"My plant died, Daddy!"

"Oh, that's a shame! Didn't you water it?"

Montana nodded.

"Every single day?"

Montana looked guilty. "Well...no..."

"Well, that's what happens when plants don't get enough water, son. They die."

"If I ever get another plant, I'll never forget to water it. I promise!"

Alexei chuckled and ruffled his hair. "It'll be OK, Sport."

"But how?"

"You'll see. Come and eat your dinner, now."

After dinner, Alexei went out for awhile and returned with a seedling. Patiently, he showed Montana how to remove the dead plant and replace it with the living one. "Oh, thank you, Daddy!" Montana exclaimed.

"It's all right." Alexei chuckled. "I know we won't have to remind you to water this one, will we?"

"You sure won't!"

"We'll see." Alexei winked at me.