Parental Fear

The Knock

She sat restlessly on the couch staring blankly at the TV. Her daughter, at the mall with her friends, was 10 minutes late, and her son, at his friend’s house, was going on 5 minutes late already. She shifted between angry and scared with each second of the clock.

*Knock, knock, knock*

Both her body and her heart jumped suddenly at the loud knock at the door. As her feet touch the floor she said to the open air, “It’s about time! They better have a great excuse, before I ground them.” However, in less time it took her to take her first step, she started to wonder…

They both have keys, why would they knock?

Frozen in place, she felt the knots in her stomach start to sinch tighter and tighter. She turned toward the window behind the couch, watched as the curtains danced in the wind of the AC vent, and silently prayed there were no flashing red and blue lights shining behind their dance.

Just darkness. But, then again, would police turn on their lights for such a visit?

Again, the knots grew tighter, now feeling like sharp rocks trapped in her gut. Fighting against her panic, she took another forced step while telling herself that maybe whichever it was, maybe they had lost their key or simply knew that she would be in the living room waiting for them and decided to just knock instead. Yeah, surely that was it. She would open the door and there would stand either her son or her daughter. In fact, they may even have an excuse for themselves and the other missing child. With that thought, the third step came a little easier.

*Knock, knock, knock*

The sudden knock echoed loudly through the silence of the house and pulled her from her rationalizing thoughts. In just a few seconds, her fear was back and threatening to make a statue of her. She thought to herself that if she never answered the door, then she could be spared from any news that would rip her world from her. Again, she was frozen in place. Though, as she stood frozen, she managed a muffled, “Coming!” toward the door. Even the thunderous echo of her own voice startled her and tightened the knot in her gut, yet again.

The Last Four Steps

She wanted so badly to ask who was there, but the fear of possible answers wouldn’t let her get the words out. The truth is part of her didn’t want to know who was there. She wanted to stop time and remain in the minutes before the knock. Her kids were late, but she knew they were safe and would be home soon. She knew that wasn’t possible, though, and almost as though without her consent… she took another step toward the door… and then another. She was only two steps from the front door, and she gazed through the stain-glass on either side. She could see a figure standing there. Again, she couldn’t move… as she slowly realized that the figure standing there was too tall to be either of her kids. Her entire world now resided in the span of two steps. She couldn’t handle it. She started to cry with fear and her feet felt so heavy while also seeming almost as though they were no longer attached to her own legs.

Two involuntary steps and her hand was somehow on the door handle as the figure just outside shifted and moved about as though a little frantic too.

The Door Finally Opens

She started to shift her hand to unlock the door but realized she had already done it. She didn’t even recall turning the lock. She closed her eyes tight and twisted the handle until the door popped in its almost deafening announcement that it was now open. Her heart seemed to stand still yet beat out of her chest at the same time.

“Hey Kim! Sorry if I woke you. I know I should have called, but I wanted to get over quick.”

Her eyes shot open and before her stood Anna. Anna was smiling at her even though she looked tired. Like a radio station slowly coming into focus, she begun to hear what Anna was saying…

“Yeah, I thought he had already gone home and that my little rascal had actually fallen asleep. In fact, I was relieved that I wasn’t going to have to make him go to bed this evening. Anyway, when I went in to check on him, that’s when I noticed that your son was still there. They both fell asleep on the floor watching a movie.”

Kim was silent as the realizations came, the fear lessened, and reality started to drift back to her.

Then just as she started to reply, Anna said, “Anyway, he’s in the car still asleep. I can get him if you want or you can.” She just nodded.

Then, a loud and thunderous pop that sounded like a board breaking echoed throughout the house from behind her. She spun around and saw her daughter walking in through the back door. Her daughter slammed the door shut while yelling, “Mom! My car battery must be dead or something. It died on me as I was coming into the neighborhood, and I left my cell phone at Karen’s house! Can we take your car and see if we can get my battery jumped so Dad can look at it when he gets home from work in the morning?”

Kim suddenly couldn’t say anything. She sobbed and started crying right where she stood. Her daughter was walking up to her, Anna was staring at her, and both reached out to her, confused but obviously concerned. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to yell at them both or just hug them tightly. So… she cried as they held tight to her.

Shortly after, she started to explain what she had just gone through as they all walked out to Anna’s car and scooped up her son from the backseat. When they all got into the house, her daughter took her little brother’s sleeping body from her mother and carried him to bed, as Anna and Kim said their goodbyes.

- 1 hour later –

Kim crept to her son’s door and peaked inside. He slept peacefully in his bed all curled up. She closed the door gently and then went to her daughter’s bedroom door. Slowly it creaked open, and she peered inside. There was her teen daughter, lying on her side with her hair done up atop her head and her blankets pulled up to her chin. Kim watched for a moment and then closed the door slowly and headed to bed feeling as though she aged ten years in a matter of minutes. Still, she smiled as she laid her head down on the pillow… her babies were home, safe, and asleep in their beds.