Pandora's Locket

I slowly opened my eyes. For one brief moment, that small space of time in between dreams and reality, I was completely happy. My dream was almost over and I could feel the end coming. The overwhelming feeling of wanting to stay in my dream world was so tempting. A time before the world as I knew it came crashing down. A time before my world ended.

     The time of Sophia. My daughter was born on a hot, summer day. I can remember the reddish, brown tuft of curls on her head, like mine. Her green eyes she got from her father, who passed in the last war. In moments, I lost my husband with only the comfort of an American flag and 21 gun salute.

     I still had a part of him and ever since I held her for the first time, I knew I'd gladly give my life for and to her. Memories flashed behind my kids like clips of a movie. Sophia's first day of school with her pink dress and pigtails swinging, the first time she rode her bike without training wheels and scraped her knee, her first dance, her 16th birthday when I gave her a golden locket with her father's picture inside that she never took off. So many memories and then nothing.    

      I fully awakened with a start, heart pounding, eyes watering. No, tears. They were tears. I sighed and stretched my legs. This is my reality now. I looked over at the cot next to me and saw my friend Sam, who had somehow managed to wedge his foot in the wastebasket beside the cot. So now sprawled out on his stomach with a puddle of drool accumulating on his headrest and foot stuck in a garbage can, I can't help but chuckle. Sam has been here since I arrived. We now live in what can only be compared to some kind of underground bunker. There are 10 people that coexist in this bunker. I say bunker but it's actually quite large. We have a genetic food conservatory where meals are taken. Those meals are tasteless and for nutrition to keep us alive only. We were told we are the last survivors left and it is up to us to repopulate mankind. No pressure. They are in the process of testing us to find our most suitable mate. They said outside is off limits. Still uninhabitable from the fall out. No sunshine. No fresh air. We have a artificial sun room, which is better than nothing. I miss the sun. I miss my life.

      I jump in the waterless shower. After the great water shortage of 2237, a shower was invented that uses no water, yet still manages to get you sparkling clean. I shuffled to the dining hall to consume the bland meal, if it could be called that. It was more of a round sphere with what looked like pieces of sliced grape inside. It tasted like a noodle but with the texture of jello. The days are monotonous. Every day is the same with nothing to look forward to. One day seemed to fade into the next as I passed time in a haze of pain. Unable to escape the unbearable thoughts I really didn't know how much longer I could retain my sanity. The more time that passed, the more I lost my grip on reality. It's was more of a grasp at this point.

I was returning to my living quarters when I noticed a glow coming from a small door in between the library and the dining hall. That's not the weirdest part. That door had never been there. I was sure of it. In the days that I had been here, not sure exactly how many, it's hard to keep track in here, but I had never seen it before. I looked around and oddly enough, the hallway was empty so I crept up to the door and turned the knob. The door opened easily but wow when it does! Heat slapped into me like opening a hot oven. Fire! There was fire everywhere. Screams of people rang in my head. It was so loud but was it? People that were passing in the hallway did not seem to hear this. They didn't not even seem to notice me. This was all very strange. The strangest part was that I could feel things that were so heart wrenching that the pain was quite physical. Agony, despair, loneliness, hopelessness, regret. Any bad or negative emotion that you could feel hit me like a punch to the gut. The smell of sulfur invaded my nose. I could actually taste it. It was at that moment that a hand restes on my shoulder. I turned to look, it's Sam. "Do you believe this?" I asked. I could not seem to bring myself to close the door on the horrific scene before me. No response. Sam's hand still rested lightly on my shoulder. The hand was Sam's but felt different somehow. I turned to look at Sam once more and instantly regretted it. I felt sick at my stomach. It was Sam, kind of. He had horns protruding from his forehead, eyes as black as coal, his feet were cloven and he had a grin that physically nauseated me. He seemed to be enjoying it. After I finished and was able to stand, he finally spoke, "I understand perfectly and so do you." "Whaa" I managed to sqeak out before it all came rushing back to me. It wasn't my husband that died at war but me. I'm dead. I was in charge that day. I was faced with the decision to endanger my men or execute a little girl that looked like she had a bomb strapped to her chest. I gave the order. Three quick shots. It was a teddy bear. The little girl had lost her mother in the chaos and was looking for help. I am dead. I never made it back. It was then that I finally understood. It was if the memories that I had were fabricated and everything I thought I knew simply wasn't. I was in my own purgatory. Doomed to meaningless repetition, reliving these memories that I have no escape from. My family, oh, how I miss them. Tears fill my eyes as memories fill my mind. Are they mine? They feel as if they are, but I can't be sure of anything anymore. Sam looked at me with a curious expression but knowing gleam and asked "Would you like to go back?" I looked into the black pools where his eyes should have been, trying to determine if there are any truth to his words or if it was just a set up for an even greater disappointment. Any small hope was better than the alternative. "What do I have to do" I say. Sam smirked. "Just close your eyes and jump" he says. "It won't hurt. That's the portal back to your world. You will awaken in the hospital. I look nervously into the fire. "What, you don't trust me?" Sam chuckled. "I can't even trust myself anymore. Please let this work," I say. I closed my eyes and jumped. Pain rushed through my body rapidly. It was like a thousand rivers crushing me with their weight. Ppain like I had never known. The agony that I felt as the flames licked my face cannot be described with words. I could not think. I cried out, I think, but it was silenced by the seemingly endless screams if the tortured surrounding me. Then thankfully, everything went black.

     I slowly open my eyes. For one brief moment, that small space of time in between dreams and reality, I was completely happy. My dream is almost over and I can feel the end coming. The overwhelming feeling of wanting to stay in my dream world is so tempting. A time before the world as I knew it came crashing down. A time before my world ended. The time of Sophia. My daughter was born on a hot, summer day. I can remember the reddish, brown tuft of curls on her head, like mine. Her green eyes she got from her father, who passed in the last war. In moments, I lost my husband with only the comfort of an American flagand 21 gun salute. I still had a part of him and ever since I held her for the first time, I knew I'd gladly give my life for and to her....