Overly Joyed

It is too early for me to rise up from these overly uncomfortable bed sheets, and participate with the world’s mayhem all over again. It feels like I just did the same thing yesterday, and the day before that. Hm, it seems as though I cannot remember ever doing anything else. Why did I choose this? Oh right, it wasn’t much of a choice in the first place. Getting up regardless of what my body is telling me; that which is anything, but preparing for the day is torture. Sometimes I don’t even want to sleep, because I dream. My woken life follows me there too. Sometimes I wake up exhausted from all the hard work I did in my subconscious. I think this life is one big joke, and I am the hilarious punchline. Xavier Vinic opened his eyes as he remained lying on his back in his overly uncomfortable bed thinking this to himself just like the days before. He had a worn down mattress his aunt Jasmine gave him when he was going to school a few years ago, but that all changed once he met Miranda. His parents were separated ever since he could remember. His mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia, and she was institutionalized when he was only thirteen years old. It was a legally forced decision after she had one too many violent episodes. One was in a public park where she endangered Xavier’s life by leading them into moving traffic to argue with a woman who wasn’t even there. His father was nowhere to be found his entire life. He had only seen a few pictures of him, and his mother kept them hidden from sight. Xavier’s Aunt Jasmine was always there for him. She had lost her son to a vehicle accident before Xavier was born. So he never had any other family to bond with. Jasmine treated him like her own son. She knew what life was like growing up with her mentally ill sister as a mother. She made sure he did well in school in order to follow his dreams of becoming an engineer one day. Aunt Jasmine was everything to Xavier. Without her he was truly alone.

Miranda was the love of his life, at least for a while. After they dated for a little over six months, Miranda sent him a text message that she was pregnant, and that it was definitely his child. He quit school, and lived with her soon after that. They moved into a one bedroom apartment around the east side of Chicago. Life took a turn when Xavier found out that Miranda had a drug problem. She was addicted to opioids, and she still used while pregnant with their child. Xavier begged her to quit, for the sake of the baby, and for hers as well. He loved Miranda, but unfortunately she did not love him the same, especially not as much as she loved getting high. Xavier even attempted to report her to the police, and have her arrested for child abuse, but she threatened to kill herself along with the baby if he ever did such a thing. Xavier felt stuck, and confused. He asked God multiple times, why was he stricken with such an awful situation, and why would He let something like this happen to anyone? There was never an answer back, and Xavier had given up hope on prayer in all.

He got a job in a machine shop downtown that built car parts in order to provide for them. It was monotonous, straining work, and grueling hours, but with his education being on hold, and a lack of job experience, he did not have many choices when it came to employment. His aunt Jasmine begged him to let her help, but he did not want to seem helpless. Xavier did not mind working hard though. He now had an ambition outside of his own desires that he’d never experienced before. It was the force of nature known as “fatherhood'' , and he loved it. Every night he came home from work he had a routine. The first thing he would do when he came through the door is lift Miranda’s blouse over her belly to kiss and rub their growing child inside. Miranda tried to work, but could not pass a drug test in order to get even a simple store clerk position at the local grocery store. Plus, Xavier’s worrying about her, and the child’s safety was something she took advantage of. She knew he would do anything that she asked of him in order to keep her, and the baby safe and healthy. One day, Xavier was coming home from a shift, and stumbled upon Miranda buying pills from a strange man inside their apartment. Xavier was too exhausted to fight, or to even make a standing argument that this was unacceptable for a pregnant woman to be using drugs, or even be in their home with a stranger alone. He simply threw his coat on the couch, lifted Miranda’s blouse to kiss their little blessing, gave a serious stare at the both of them as they stood in the kitchen, and told the man to get out as he moseyed off to bed. It was inevitable that Miranda was going to get her fix, but Xavier figured it was safer for her to get them there instead of her roaming the dangerous streets of Chicago with their baby in her belly. When it came to money, he knew better than to leave Miranda with access to all of their finances, there’s no trusting an addict. Xavier created a bank account just for Miranda to use, and deposited just enough for food, and other necessities she may need. Sometimes, Miranda would withdraw cash money in order to buy her drugs, but there wasn’t much Xavier could do, she was the mother of their child, and he couldn’t just leave her with nothing to get by. Xavier knew she was using, but after threatening to kill herself, and their child in the process, he did his best at keeping her from going over the line.

Xavier spent the next nine months doing this day in, and day out. It was a Monday afternoon, and he was in route to the apartment. His phone rang with the call he’d been waiting for, Miranda was in labor. Racing to the apartment building, taking the stairs to their front door, Xavier burst in with hastiness. He stopped in his tracks, and instantly regretted his entire life choices all in one moment. There stood the two of them, Miranda hunched over screaming in labor pain, and her drug dealer holding her up. Xavier felt his neck boiling, but decided to focus on their child coming into the world first. Then he’d let the pusher-man know how he really felt about his little visits. Xavier grabbed Miranda, pushing the “pusher” aside, and fled to the hospital leaving the front door wide open. Their child was on the way.

Xavier was so nervous he could not pronounce his own name correctly. The doctor was able to calm him down long enough to find out he was the father of Miranda’s baby. During labor, Xavier was by Miranda’s side every second. It wasn’t until the staff became concerned about something they would not tell him about. It worried Xavier, and that’s when his heart began racing. He hollered at the doctors and nurses wanting answers, but he was escorted out of the room until further notice. Time went on until Miranda’s yelling subsided, and silence settled in the hallways. Twenty minutes went by when Xavier heard the most exhilarating sound he’d ever heard. It was his child’s voice, his pride and joy, everything they’d struggled for since that single text from Miranda about her pregnancy months ago. It finally paid off. “Oh my God, thank you”, sang Xavier. A few minutes later, an older looking doctor with gray combed hair that appeared to be in charge came out of the delivery room. He walked towards Xavier with a low look casted over his face. “Mr. Vinic”, said the doctor. “I need to talk to you”. Xavier felt a movement from the back of his neck, down to his hips. “Is everything okay, what happened; is the baby okay, what about Miranda?” Yelled Xavier. The doctor came close to him, and lowered his protective mask. “ Please Mr. Vinic calm down. The baby is going through drug withdrawals, apparently Miranda was using during the pregnancy. When they do, the child is exposed to the substances as well. Usually the chances of a child surviving is slim to none, but she is a miracle. She was suffering from extreme tremors, but we calmed her for the moment after taking extreme measures.There were some complications with Miranda though, Mr. Vinic. I am dearly sorry, but we could not bring her back. “ What?” Xavier responded with quivering lips. “Her heart stopped beating in the middle of giving birth, and we attempted over and over to revive her, but she was too far gone”. Xavier was speechless. He knew it was too good to be true. “Miranda probably just got high right before her water broke”, he thought. It was crazy to believe he would be lucky enough for nothing to go wrong in life at least this once. “ Is she dead?”Xavier asked. “ Yes, she passed. Mr. Vinic, I am so sorry that there was nothing more we could do. Your daughter is stable and sleeping in the room. She will be closely monitored for a while, and Miranda will be moved soon. Your daughter is waiting to see you. God bless you Sir, and again my condolences”. Xavier shook his head in acceptance, and suddenly realized what the doctor said, “daughter”. “It’s a girl?”Xavier asked. The doctor shook his head, and smiled at Xavier as he walked away. He went into the delivery room where Miranda still laid there, lifeless with a sheet drooped over her head. Xavier’s eyes became glossy as he approached her body. He held her hand, and cried over her. “You stupid idiot”, he said to her. “ Why couldn’t you just stop like I asked. Now I am truly alone in all this. All of the work, all of the money, and struggle… all of the…”, Xavier couldn’t finish his sentences when he heard a “coo” sound coming from the baby bed across the room. He wiped away his tears, and walked over to his newborn daughter. He took a deep breath, and prepared for this precious moment. Looking down at her, he saw that she was perfect. She had all ten fingers, and toes. Her head was full of black curly hair, and the cutest face he’d ever seen before. She looked just like Miranda, but he knew she would be different, a good, wholesome person in the world. Someone that people admired, not hated. He’d make sure of that no matter the cost. “Hey there”, Xavier whispered. “ Look at your pretty self.You have no idea what joy it is to finally meet you”. He picked her up and sat down in a chair next to Miranda. He held her softly, but firmly. His grasp on her was as if he was holding a delicate piece of art that could wither away from the slightest breeze. A nurse came in to check on his new family member. She stood by Xavier to monitor the baby’s vitals. She smiled, gazed at them both and asked,” So what is her name?” Xavier looked up at the nurse, and responded, “ There are not many things that have ever brought me this much joy in life. She is a first for me, so I am going to name her Joy”. “That is a pretty name”, said the nurse. Xavier and Joy sat there for the rest of the night until a nurse came to place Joy back in her bed while he slept. Xavier didn’t dream that night, not once.

Three years had passed since that memorable night. Xavier wanted to start a new life for Joy and himself. After Joy was born, his Aunt Jasmine helped them while Xavier worked. Miranda’s funeral was shortly after. It was a dark, and bleak event. Very few people showed up, and she was buried the same day. Xavier was furious as he saw the man responsible for her death standing in the background, apparently showing his respects. He again controlled himself for his daughter’s sake. “What good would I do her in jail”, he told himself. He had spoken to Aunt Jasmine about the man, and she decided to help Xavier get revenge another way. Aunt Jasmine may not have had much family, but she had a lot of friends. She found out who the drug dealer was through a connection of her’s with a detective named Charles Saulest of the Chicago PD. She and him dated for quite some time, but decided the spark just wasn’t there. Aunt Jasmine and Charles remained friends, and she asked him to do a little investigating for her. He still had a “thing” for her, and was more than willing to show off his policing skills. It did not take long for Charles to find out who Miranda’s dealer was, because Josh Qwibbet Jr., which was the drug dealer’s real name, not only sold Miranda drugs in their apartment complex, but other people in the building as well. It wasn’t a few weeks later that Xavier saw right on the front page of the newspaper that read,” Local apartment complex raided, four arrested in drug trafficking ring”. Xavier chuckled under his breath as he recognized Miranda’s dealer’s face in a row of mugshots next to the article. He bought a copy of that paper, and he has never bought a newspaper before. It wasn’t the justice he wanted, but knowing that the man was going away to prison for a long time, and that he couldn’t hurt anyone again was enough for him. Aunt Jasmine decided to give officer Charles another chance after his impressive police work. Charles later proposed to her on their third date, and they are getting married in the spring.

Xavier was able to work a lot since his aunt offered to help take care of Joy while doing so. He saved up enough to move out of the small apartment, and moved into a two bedroom apartment closer to his aunt. It was a Sunday morning in the busy city of Chicago. Xavier continued to lay in his overly uncomfortable bed with overly uncomfortable sheets given to him by his Aunt Jasmine. His thoughts raced about what was waiting for him Monday morning; which was work, bills, chores and adulting all over again. He had re-enrolled into school again, and was excited to start the next semester in the Fall. He finally made himself rise out of bed, and look through the bay window leading into the living room of their apartment. Joy was still asleep in her bed dreaming about what other toddlers dream about; which Xavier could not imagine consisted of. He stared out into the city as the sun rose through the misty horizon. He closed his eyes, and felt the sunlight radiate heat off his cheeks. He asked God, “why do you do what you do. What is all this pain and struggle for?”. He stood facing out of the window for a moment waiting for an answer, but there was no response. He then heard the smallest, sweetest voice behind him call out,” Morning Daddy”. Xavier spun around, crouching down to pick up Joy as she tiptoed towards him with her arm up in the air. She had on pink pajamas with little pandas on them. Her hair was grown out, and tied in two puffy bunches; which had the appearance of little Mickey Mouse ears. She carried a little blue, stuffed bear tucked under her arm that he won for her at a claw machine one time. Xavier smiled and said,” Good morning cutie, what do you want to do today, are you hungry”? Joy shrugged her shoulders and mumbled,” I don’t know, could I have some pancakes?” “Of course, sweetheart”, Xavier said. Seconds later the phone rang. It was Aunt Jasmine. He answered quickly and said,” Good morning Aunt Jasmine, what are you calling so early for?”. Jasmine then asked,” I am on my way to Sunday church service with Charles. I was wondering if you two wanted to come along. I know you’re not too fond of church, but this is the only time I get to see you and Joy”. Xavier looked at Joy, and took another glance out into the bright, blue morning sky. He instantly realized that God had answered his prayers all along. That he was never alone in this terrifying world. God didn’t respond in words, but in actions. Xavier was blessed with a beautiful daughter, and a loving family. He was given another chance at his dreams, and life was coming together before his eyes. This epiphany struck him with a sense of appreciation that was unfamiliar to him. He paused for a moment while his aunt Jasmine waited for a response. He smiled and said,” Absolutely, we would love to come. We will see you guys there. Oh, and Aunt Jasmine…I just wanted to tell you how much I love you, and how thankful I am..for you, and everything”. Aunt Jasmine was surprised by Xavier’s comment, but it was welcoming. She smiled back and said to Xavier,” I love you too sweetie, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you guys. When it comes down to it, family is everything. I’ll see you in a while I hope". Xavier felt overly joyed from hearing his aunt say that. They said their goodbyes and he hung up the phone. They scurried into the kitchen where Xavier cooked them both blueberry pancakes before heading to church. Till this day, it is a Vinic family tradition between Xavier and his daughter to have blueberry pancakes for breakfast, and attend Sunday morning church services with Aunt Jasmine and Uncle Charles every week.

-The End