Oval Office

So what do you get when a group of idiot best friends get together and have a contest for who can drink a jug of water the fastest during their break time at work? Well you have an even bigger idiot named Carl Roberts who is rushing home to pee before he wastes his bladder all over himself.

Less than an hour ago Carl and three of his friends who he works with at the local Bojangles got together and had a competition for who could drink a bottle of water the fastest. The winner would be rewarded with a petty five dollars cash prize and Carl not being one to walk away from a bet or any dare, accepted the challenge. Not surprising, Carl won the bet, but he was so excited for his victory that he forgot to use the restaurant bathroom before he left and so he sat with a full bladder on the long traffic jam home.

When Carl finally did arrive at his apartment complex his bladder was racing. It was so full and he had to pee so bad that he thought his bladder was gonna explode. When he pulled into his driving space it the clock in his car read 3:59 p.m. Carl knew that if he did not make it in his house in less than a minute than he was going to pee all over himself. So he undid his seatbelt and flew out of the car. He made sure to close the door and hit the lock on it behind him as he raced to his building so he could make it up the stairs and into his apartment so he could let go of the water works.

On his way up the stairs Carl felt a surge of spiritual attacks unfolding all around him. As he made it to the front of his building he saw his next door neighbor outside walking their dog and not surprisingly, the dog was peeing in a bush. While his elderly female neighbor smiled and waved at him, Carl closed his eyes in a tightened pain as his bladder was more tempted to release. He made it to the building and started running up the stairs two steps at a time as he made it to the letter H, which was his front door. He quickly started digging through the mess of his pockets to see if he could find his keys.

On average most people keep their house key and their car key on the same chain, but this dummy did no such thing seeing as how he felt the keys should not be mixed because of their very different looking bases. As he dug through his pockets for his keys Carl started stomping both up his feet up and down continuously. It was as if he was an angry child that was not getting his way and decided to throw a fit. Well in a sense he was a child that was not getting his way considering that he was struggling to get in his house so he could pee. After a few seconds of digging through the rubble of his pocket he finally found his house key.

Carl then proceeded to put the key into the tumbler and unlocked the front door. After pushing the door fully open and not bothering to completely shut it back, Carl raced down the hallway and into his bathroom where he finally felt an extreme relief as he made it to the toilet, but strangely enough Carl now realized that he no longer had to pee. After feeling a warm sensation in his pants Carl looked down and found his black khaki pants covered in pee. He looked at the time on his phone and it said 4:00 p.m.

Yep you guessed it right, ladies and gents. Carl is an idiot.