Once Upon A Christmas In Chicago

For everyone who has done something dumb because of a broken heart.

“You can’t helicopter parent me just because your mom left when you were seven! I’m going to Miami with my friends for the weekend, and when I come back I’m moving out!” Luciana said as angry tears filled her eyes.

Jesse could still hear the crack of his own heart as Luciana slammed the apartment door and stomped down the hallway, wheels of her carry on echoing loudly. Following close behind her, Jesse foolishly hoped this was one of her threatened breakups. No matter how much Jesse promised to change, Luciana remained firm in her decision. When she returned Monday, college friends in tow, he watched helplessly as they packed her things and left. That was two months ago.

Sitting in his small cubicle, Jesse stared unseeingly into his lukewarm soup bowl. Since Luciana left, he kept replaying the break up in his head over and over. Every single text message to her went unanswered. He didn’t want to believe she was never coming back, but every time he came home to their empty apartment in Logan Square, the finality always hit him like a wrecking ball. For Jesse, Luciana had been his entire world—his first love, first time, first, well, everything.

His chest grew tighter. No matter how deeply he breathed, he couldn’t get enough air into his lungs. Jesse clenched his fist hard enough to break the plastic spoon in his left hand. The impact drew blood on his pointer finger. Standing up before he went into full panic attack mode, Jesse quietly cursed as he put his finger in his mouth to staunch the bleeding. His work mate, Raphael raised a thick dark eyebrow and turned down his favorite Elvis song, “Devil in Disguise.”

Raphael opened his mouth to say something, but Jesse gave a sheepish smile and walked over to the floor to ceiling window facing Kinzie Avenue. It was one of those deceitfully beautiful days in Chicago… The quickly setting sun was shining, yet when you went outside, you wondered why you chose to live in a place that gets God doesn’t love you cold. Every winter he seriously considered moving somewhere warmer.

The street below was handsomely decorated with banners proclaiming seasons greetings and glittering tinsel. Streetlights slowly flickered on. Despite the Friday feel mixed with obnoxious holiday cheer, Jesse felt none of it.

What Jesse did feel was fuzzy red and green Christmas socks across the face as Raphael loudly said, “Feliz Navidad, compadre!”

“Raph! Come on, man,” Jesse protested as Raphael unceremoniously dumped the socks into his hands.

“I just wanted to spread the holiday cheer,” Raphael grinned as he put his arm around Jesse’s shoulders and shook him hard.

“Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas,” Jesse said tonelessly.

“Let’s get some drinks and deep dish after work. First round’s on me!” Raphael said.

Jesse walked back toward his desk and began putting on his jacket, “Maybe some other time.”

“Come on, bro. It’s been two months and you’re still actin like someone died,” Raphael said.

“I got stuff to do,” Jesse snapped as he wrapped the dark wine colored knitted scarf Luciana had given him.

“Like what? Sit in your frunchroom all weekend and go to Jewels? Come out tonight. Da Hawks are playin,” Raphael insisted.

“I can’t,” Jesse said with finality as he put his keys and phone into his pockets.

“Well, you got my number if you change your mind,” Raphael said as he patted Jesse’s shoulder and began putting on his own coat.

“See ya Monday,” Jesse said as he threw his unfinished soup in the trash and began walking out of the office.

The frosty air nipped at Jesse’s face, but he felt none of it. Deciding it was a better idea to go anywhere but his lonely apartment, he found himself walking south toward the Chicago River where he would catch the “L” toward Millennium Park.

After entering the station at Clark and Lake, to Jesse’s dismay, the CTA holiday train rolled up. Jesse groaned internally and walked onto the already crowded train. He tried to remember why he was putting himself through rush hour hell in the city. Jesse turned toward the window and gazed at his gaunt face and lifeless green eyes. Sighing, he turned the volume on his headphones up.

Exiting at Washington Station, Jesse walked the remainder of the way to the park and beheld the fifty one foot tree bedazzled in every colored light. He and Luciana walked hand in hand last year taking selfies here. He could still see the beauty mark above her lip and remembered what it felt like to hold her and call her his. A sharp bolt of pain went through his heart. Thinking of her felt like reopening an old wound. His playlist started playing “Devil in Disguise.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Jesse grumbled as he lowered his headphones and paused the music.

A deceptively sweet female voice next to him spoke nearly startling him out of his skin, “You look like you’ve seen better days.”

The woman standing next to him looked like she stepped out of a Hollywood film. Her pale skin had an otherworldly glow and her dark red hair lay in perfect waves around her face. She was wearing white fuzzy earmuffs and a white long padded jacket. Her full mouth was decked in bright red lipstick that Jesse couldn’t help wondering what it would feel like kissing.

“Can I help you?” Jesse asked curtly.

“It’s more like, can I help you?” she asked, her depthless dark brown eyes glittering mischievously.

“Listen, I’m not looking to join your church.”

“You look like you have a broken heart.”

“Who said I had a broken heart?” Jesse asked defensively.

“Boy, please. You look like you haven’t slept in a couple months. At least use some concealer for those bags.”

“Good to know I look like hell. What are you doing here anyway? Oh. Wait. Let me guess? You’re a tiny shit Santa trolling on pathetic looking guys at the park?”


“Your words, not mine.”

“I didn’t catch your name.”

“Carissa. But you can call me Cariss.”

“Well Cariss, I’m Jesse,” he said extending his hand.

Cariss didn’t take his hand. Instead she said, “Who broke your heart?”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s over between me and her. She walked away from five years like it’s nothing,” Jesse said as he ran his left hand through his dark brown hair.

“Nothing lasts forever.”

“I’m sure you don’t want to hear about my ex girlfriend. I wish I could just forget everything as easily as she did,” Jesse said.

“What if I told you could?” Cariss asked.

“Now you’re going to sell me some snakeskin oil?” Jesse grinned, though the smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“I have another name, you know. They call me the Queen of Hearts,” Cariss answered as she removed her earmuffs to show ears ending in delicately pointed tips.

Jesse’s grin faded. His gut instinct was telling him to run far, far away. This woman… No, this female, whatever she was, wasn’t human. Jesse’s heart sped up a notch, but his curiosity won over his better judgement.

“And what do you do, Queen of Hearts?”

“I make deals.”

“What do you want in return?” Jesse narrowed his eyes.

“Three kisses,” Cariss said as she held up three fingers.

“If you wanted to make out, you should’ve just said so,” Jesse laughed bitterly.

“Oh no. Not me. You have to kiss three other people by the end of tonight. In exchange, all your heartache will be gone along with your memories of Luciana.”

Jesse’s heart raced and he swallowed hard. He hadn’t told Cariss his ex girlfriend’s name.

“You could be some weirdo who’s going to drug me and steal my money.”


“You and I both know you don’t believe that.”

Cariss held out her hand with jeweled fingernails.

“Just three kisses? And it’ll all be gone?”

“I always keep my promises,” Cariss said, her hand still outstretched.

Before Jesse could second guess himself, he took the cold hand of the Queen of Hearts.

“And now you’re mine tonight,” she smiled wickedly as she pulled him in like he was nothing more than a rag doll.

Jesse felt a sharp searing pain on his left wrist as if someone was carving into it with a knife.

“Ow! Fuck!” Jesse shouted as he let go of her hand and pulled up his jacket to see three hearts had carved themselves into his skin. The cuff of his white button down was stained with fresh blood.

“Come, minion. The night is young and we have debts to collect,” Cariss said as she flipped her hair and started walking out of the park.

The crowd parted for her as she walked back toward the main street.

“Where are we going?” Jesse asked.

“To see my dear friend Melody at our favorite night club. You kiss her and I collect. Capeesh?” Cariss said as she snapped her fingers.

Jesse followed her to the Grant Park North Garage as she led him to her black luxury convertible on the first floor.

“What kind of deal did she make with you?” Jesse asked as Cariss started the engine.

“I don’t usually discuss my deals with mortals, but you’re not going to remember anything from tonight, so I guess I’ll break my own rules. Melody was jealous of her best friend getting all the attention. She made a deal to always make men fall for her,” Cariss chuckled.

“What do you get out of it?” Jesse asked afraid to discover the answer.

“Her broken heart energy. A girl’s gotta eat too,” Cariss answered as the stoplight turned red.

She reached for a tube dark red lipstick from her cup holder and began applying it using the visor mirror. Jesse couldn’t help but think the color looked like drying blood on her mouth.

“I can’t kiss her without permission. That’s assault,” Jesse said.

Jesse didn’t see Cariss move. Before he knew it, she grabbed his jacket front and pulled him close to her face. Jesse’s heart sank to his bowels as her eyes sparkled dangerously.

“You don’t have a choice. You’re mine tonight, worm and you shall do my bidding,” she said, her eyes promising violence if he didn’t obey.

Jesse tried to convince himself this entire situation wasn’t a giant steaming pile of dog shit. Cariss let go of his jacket and shoved him back with supernatural strength.

The Queen stomped on the break hard as they pulled in front of the night club. Cariss handed her keys and a generous tip to the valet. A long stone hallway illuminated by glowing blue light greeted them. They walked up three flights of stairs where the entire space was bathed in blue giving it an other worldly feel. Icicle lights from the ceiling pulsed and plush leather chairs were scattered around the space.

“There she is. Go kiss her and make mama proud,” Cariss said as she grabbed his arm and pointed out a girl with fried red dyed hair sitting on a couch to the far left.

“Are you going to watch?” Jesse asked.

“Always.”

“Kinky.”

Cariss pushed him in Melody’s direction. He walked over not knowing what he was going to say to her. The girl’s already pale face drained of color as she realized who stood at the bar behind them.

“Hey. I’m Jesse,” Jesse said lamely.

“She sent you here to collect my debt, didn’t she?” Melody asked.

“Yeah,” Jesse confirmed.

“Word of advice. No matter how sweet the deal, the only one who wins in the end is her. What did she offer you?”


“To forget my ex girlfriend,” Jesse answered truthfully.

“Oh, sweetie,” Melody said as he held his hand, “I wanted to be the hottest girl. Now I’m the fuck buddy and never the girlfriend.”

Without another word, Melody leaned in to kiss him. Jesse felt the pain of her emotions pass through him. It felt like the night Luciana dumped him and he was reliving her tearing his heart out all over again. The sensation left him wanting to puke up his guts. When Melody pulled back she had a glazed look in her eyes.

Jesse looked down at his wrist and observed one of the hearts so freshly carved twenty minutes ago was now a thin white scar. Getting up, he spotted the Queen of Hearts sitting right where he left her. She was chatting with her newest prey, a girl with a pixie cut wearing a short silver dress that didn’t leave much to the imagination.

“Making more deals?” Jesse asked curtly.

Cariss slowly turned and parted her sensuous lips into a cat got the cream smile. Knowing she looked amazing in her black sequined plunging neckline romper, she ran glittering fingernails through her long red tresses. Had circumstances been different, her beauty might have brought him to his knees. Knowing what she was, he was starting to think she looked more like a devil in disguise.

“All in a night’s work,” she said as she downed her shot of tequila and bit into a lime.

“For someone called the Queen of Hearts you have none,” Jesse said angrily.

“Thank you. I take pride in my work,” the Queen said and then turned back toward the bar, “Bartender, get me a double for this jag off. Oh and some pop for princess to wash it down.”

Cariss tenderly placed a hand on Jesse’s cheek and turned his head toward Melody who was now dancing with a heavily muscled Korean man near the DJ booth.

“And in three, two, one…” Cariss said as the new couple started devouring each other’s faces.

Jesse could only gape. The Queen tightened her grip on his face, dug her fingernails in, and turned it back to hers.

“It’s too late to grow a conscience. Remember that you’re the one who made the deal. You will also address me as your highness from now on. Do I make myself clear?”

Jesse could hear the promise in her words. Or else I will cut out your heart and serve it on a silver platter for breakfast.

“Yes. Your highness,” Jesse gritted his teeth and spit out the last word like a curse.

Cariss gave another dazzling smile. She turned back toward the bar, gave him his drinks and commanded, “Now be a good boy and take your medicine.”

What the hell did I just get myself into? Jesse thought miserably as he downed the shot and left the pop on the counter. The tequila bit like fire and Jesse knew it wasn’t going to take the edge off.

“I fancy a caffeine boost,” Cariss said as she pulled out her phone and dragged Jesse out of the bar.

Jesse barely had enough time to zip up his jacket before they stopped outside a coffee shop. From across the street, Cariss pointed out a girl with long braids sitting in a corner of the first floor. She was silently wiping away her tears and drawing on a sketch pad.

“Do you see that girl? Her name is Kiara and her asshole of a best friend shot her down after she just confessed to her,” Cariss said squealing with delight.

“You’re enjoying this way too much,” Jesse observed.

“Broker a deal on my behalf,” Cariss said.

Jesse took a deep breath from his nose and willed himself not to vomit. He wasn’t sure he could stomach someone else’s pain coursing through him. After entering the coffee shop, Jesse bought himself two black coffees and walked over to Kiara.

“Hey. I’m Jesse.”

Kiara gave him a no nonsense look and ran her hands through her braided hair, “I don’t have any money.”

“I don’t want your money. You just looked upset and I wanted to see how you’re doing. Do you want to talk about it?” Jesse said as he placed the extra coffee in front of her.

“Not really,” Kiara said as she dug through her purse for hand lotion.

“You look like you have a broken heart,” Jesse said quietly.

“How did you know?” she asked.

“You look how I feel every day,” Jesse admitted sincerely.

“At this point, I’d do anything to forget her,” Kiara said as she turned over her sketchpad.

She had drawn the woman in question with such heartbreakingly exquisite detail… As if she had studied all the lines of her face and knew them like her own soul.

“You’re a talented artist,” Jesse admitted.

“She’s the one who told me I should start,” Kiara’s eyes became glassy.

“Would you give up your ability to draw, if it meant you didn’t have to feel this heartbreak anymore?” Jesse asked.

He didn’t know why he asked and could only assume the Queen was goading him to say so through whatever magical connection they had through the hearts on his wrist.

“I think so. I can’t eat. Can’t sleep. She won’t answer my messages…” Kiara said.

He could feel one of the hearts on his wrist tingling and it was starting to ache painfully.

“Luciana won’t answer mine either,” Jesse confided as Kiara put her hand over Jesse’s.

Jesse had a frog in his throat and couldn’t form coherent words. To hell with the Queen of Hearts and consequences be damned. Jesse lifted Kiara’s hand up to his lips in farewell, but instead winced as her fresh heartbreak ran through him. Just like Melody, the girl had a glazed faraway look in her eyes. Jesse broke out in a cold sweat and barely made it to the bathroom before hurling his meager dinner into the toilet.

Splashing water into his face, Jesse mentally prepared himself for walking past Kiara. She still sat where he left her staring into nothing. Jesse ran out of the coffee shop and back onto the street where Cariss was waiting in her convertible.

“I thought I had to kiss them on the lips for it to work,” he said.

“A kiss is a kiss, sweetheart,” Cariss said sweetheart in a way that grated Jesse’s nerves.

“She won’t be able to draw anymore, will she?”

Cariss only smiled, “You have one more favor you owe me.”

“Where are we going this time?”

“Navy Pier. There’s an old woman named Kamala whose husband passed away last year. Kiss her and our bargain is complete,” Cariss said.

Jesse said nothing, “What are you going to take from her?”

“That’s for me to know and you to find out,” Cariss answered.

The Queen parked in the lot behind the Ferris Wheel. As they walked through the parking garage, Jesse could only hear his footsteps and the heels of his companion echo. Cariss took Jesse’s arm and pointed out an old Indian woman with salt and pepper hair sitting on a bench looking up at the wheel.

“Go get um, tiger,” Cariss said.

Jesse walked over to the bench wondering how he was going to get through his last task when Kamala broke the silence.

“I used to come here every year with my husband. We would ride the Ferris Wheel for Christmas,” Kamala said in a heavy accent.

“Where’s your husband now?” Jesse asked.

“He passed away last year from cancer. I wish I could see him again.”

Jesse felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and the third heart on his wrist tingle. It felt like Cariss was digging her nails into him. Jesse knew he was prolonging the inevitable, but he was going to let this drag out as long as possible. Kamala told him how she had met her husband while on holiday in Japan and he was a Marine stationed in Yokohama. It was love at first sight for both and they had been happily married for fifty years until colon cancer abruptly ended his life. After Kamala had finished her tale, she wiped her eyes.

“I feel like you’re a kindred spirit,” Kamala said.

You have no idea. Jesse thought miserably. He considered standing up and walking away when the third heart started tingling again. Before Jesse could stop her, Kamala took Jesse’s cold hands and kissed them.

“Shiva bless you,” Kamala smiled.

Kamala returned to her sitting position with eyes unseeing, her last breath going out in a white cloud. Jesse watched in horror as a young woman dressed in traditional saree rose from Kamala’s withered old body. Her eyes were fixed straight ahead at a handsome black man.

He said something in Hindi Jesse couldn’t understand, but he could feel the words of love in his heart. Tears streamed down his face as a young Kamala ran into his arms. Jesse’s heart lurched when he saw how they looked at each other. A crowd walked in front of him and when it dispersed, Kamala and her Marine were gone.

Jesse staggered away, feeling like he couldn’t breathe. By the time he made it back to the waterfront, Cariss was glowing. Cold sweat rolled down his back as Jesse tried to grapple with what he’d just done.

“Oh my God. I killed her,” Jesse whispered, his voice cracking.

“Technically I did, but yeah. In a way, you killed her,” Cariss said as ran right left hand through his hair like a lover.

“I can’t forget Luciana. Not knowing her would hurt more. Consider my work tonight pro bono.”

“There are no take backs with me.”

Cariss grabbed the back of his hair causing his eyes to water and kissed him on the neck with her cold lips. It felt like a giant hose had punched into his chest and a heavy weight was being sucked out. Jesse sank to his knees, the Queen’s crazed face going in and out of focus as the world became black. When Jesse came to a beautiful female with dark red hair brown eyes was shaking his shoulder.

“Hey. Are you okay? You fell over,” she said.

“I’m fine,” Jesse said as he grabbed the metal bar and stood up with her help.

The last thing Jesse remembered was being at Millennium Park. He had no idea how he got to Navy Pier and why. Back by the Ferris Wheel, red and blue lights blinked.

“You better go home.”

“Yeah,” Jesse agreed as he held his head and walked aimlessly away from Navy Pier.

The biting cold air from Lake Michigan cut through him as snow began to fall. Jesse was covered in sweat which caused the red knitted scarf around his neck to itch incessantly. When he reached up to yank it off, he observed dried blood staining his sleeve. Jesse could hear his heart pounding and almost stopped dead at three heart scars on his wrist.

His shock was short lived as it was nothing compared to the pain in his chest caused by looking at the scarf. He couldn’t explain the urge to get rid of it quickly. All Jesse knew was he needed to dispose of it quickly as he walked to the edge of the dock. Slowly he opened his hand and let it slide out of his grip. The scarf turned almost black as it absorbed water and slipped quietly into the icy depths below. Watching the lake devour it made him feel lighter, though he couldn’t explain why.

When he turned back toward the Pier, a beautiful brunette with a beauty mark above her lip caught his attention. Jesse recalled her name was Luciana and they had some classes together in university. She was smiling brightly and laughing with her group of friends, the red head female from earlier among them. The ginger shot him a knowing look and Jesse felt a chill down his spine at her stare.

As he walked past them unnoticed, Jesse felt nothing at all.