Oh To Be Immortal

"My name is, Emily. And I primarily have lived in two states a majority of my life. South Dakota and Maine. Other states I lived briefly and never felt any connection with. Aside from the fact some of my relatives lived there. Lived, died, and whatever."

"Unlike myself."

"The last relative of my generation that's died was a week ago. My brother, Henry, passed from old age. He was ninety-three. Now, you're probably wondering how old I am if my brother was nearly a hundred when he passed. I am around one hundred and twenty years old. If my memory is accurate or not. Which I don't really have any faith in myself anymore. My whole life is an active blur if I'm being honest with myself. There are a few memories that stick out to me."

"Playing hide and seek with my brother."

"Making dinner with my Mother but, neither of us are happy. The reason why I can't recall no matter how hard I try. It just doesn't come to me."

"The biggest memory that I do have is of my Father. Unlike my Mother, I remember his name. Wade. He was in the bed that Mother had put him in. Trying to tell me something that I couldn't understand as much as I tried to. His words were slurred and too quiet. The illness that he had contracted sometime before his death. I wasn't entirely certain of when it was exactly. All I know is that my Father kept trying to speak to me about it. All these years later, I've realized what exactly he was saying."

"He was warning me of my affliction."

"Which took proper hold when I was thirty years old. What is the cause? I may not ever know. All I know is that I cannot die. Either from old age or any outside force. Hell, I cannot even kill myself."

"It's lead me to do a lot of things that I don't like. Changing my look in drastic ways to keep folks from recognizing me after a while. As my family aged, I didn't. I looked like the fresh faced young lady that I had been for far too long. Constantly changing every part of myself in cheap ways. Since most folks think I've died over eighty years or so ago. From some form of cancer, I can't really remember. It was so much easier back when I was an actual young lady."

"Technology wasn't as developed as it is today."

"There's so much more moving around that I have to do. Having to take odd jobs to keep myself fed. Despite the fact that I cannot die of hunger, I still feel the pain of it. A sick joke the more that I think about it. There's also the fact that I still feel thirsty. So very thirsty but, you don't want to hear about that. You probably want to know how I've felt about humanity over the years that I've walked this Earth."

"This 'good' green Earth."

"I never thought that I would be entirely neutral about humanity. But as I've grown older, I've started to just not care. Not angry or deep in love, either. The feeling is just no longer strong."

"Seeing so many folks harm others for any perceivable slight. Like looking at the person wrong. Being the same gender as someone that had harmed them for years. I vaguely remember coming across a few of these folks. How outwardly hostile they were towards me for being a woman. Sort of considering myself lucky that I'm essentially unkillable for most folks. Though I still, unfortunately, feel pain as well."

"Which is more of a nuisance then terrifying, like it used to be."

"South Dakota was both the easiest and hardest place to live. Easy in terms of getting jobs and hiding from folks that used to know me. At least for the first ten years of my condition. Then it got harder as most folks that I didn't recognize would recognize me. Would come up to me and start babbling about me. They would ask why I didn't look any different or if I got surgery. Which made things way more difficult then they needed to be."

"Way more difficult."

"Soon as I felt that I couldn't reside there, I left. I went from state to state on foot. Not having enough money or anything to get a car. Or even really desiring a car, either. Though I did learn how to drive one. I've never had a chance to get a license. As that was something that I never really needed. It's just another thing that's more of a nuisance then a necessity."

"Most folks that vaguely know me are surprised by this. Asking me why I don't have one."

"Demanding a few times."

"One time, someone got angry that I hadn't gotten a license. Telling me that I'm never going to be a real adult without one. That without any of that I could possibly end up in trouble. Though, I don't drive. So I didn't understand why this child was so angry with me over this. It just didn't make any sense but, I kept my composure at the time and just said nothing."

"Leaving town the next morning."

"After that, I decided to take a few days off from working. What little money I got from that job went into a small empty coffee pot that I got. There's some amount of money that I hadn't counted just yet. But, I'm pretty sure there's a lot in there. Just in case I need to get a place quick enough. Even if it's something small like a motel room for the night. Hell, at the rate of how much things are getting more and more expensive since I was actually a young woman. Not even that. I'd be lucky to get one hour in most near me."

"I'm exaggerating a little but, still."

"Things've gotten harder since I've been a kid. Much more thorough background checks that weren't a worry when I was younger. Thanks to this, I haven't really been able to get a job lately. At least, not in the conventional ways. Which I'm not that comfortable with telling you right now. Maybe another time when I feel a lot more safe, I will. And I don't really care that you're curious about it, either."

"This is my story to tell you and...and I'm getting defensive."

"I apologize for that. It's hard to trust folks after living the life that I have. One that's gotten me harmed in more ways then one. And a whole lot worse then 'normal' folks. This kind of stuff makes it hard to form connections or not be a little suspicious of other people. You never know if they're going to do anything to you or not. Anyways, I was making my way to another town when the problem began. This lady pulled up next to me to offer me a ride to the next town. Now, I don't mind taking rides from women. Usually when I do, things go a lot smoother then with men."

"I know, I know that's sort of stereotyping and all that jazz. But I've rarely been in a car with a straight man that wasn't handsy."

"Though, there was something sort of off about this lady. She was acting a little bit...twitchy? If that's the right word for her actions. Shady might be the better one. Either way, my gut instinct was to not get into her car. And my gut hadn't lead me in the wrong direction since then. So, I politely refused to get into her car and started walking. But, she didn't like this. Kept demanding that I get in as it wasn't safe. That there was some sort of killer on the loose. Telling me that I would be much safer with her if I get into her car."

"I kept refusing politely until she started screaming at me. So, I ran."

"The chick came after me with her car and almost ran me over. I wasn't afraid of dying but, broken bones wouldn't be easy to walk on. And I don't need some actual good Samaritan trying to get me to a damn hospital. Not, just for the prices of a hospital stay. That wouldn't be the easiest thing ever. But, I fear that my condition might be found out by some medical professional. Or something to that effect."

"After a couple of miles, I reached a gas station and ran inside. The lady gave up after that. I think that she gave up on me. As I hadn't seen her in person after that. Next time I saw her, she'd been arrested by someone for murder. She went after women that were my perceived age and offered them a ride. Drugging them afterward with a warm cup of coffee. Soon as they were out cold, she'd murder them. I think they said that it was manual strangulation."

"I think, I can't remember."

"It's made me weary of walking everywhere for a bit. And that's how I got to your coffee shop. I'm not sure how you know that I'm not a normal person. Or why I'm even bothering to tell you about myself in the slightest bit. But, I'm so tired of being alone as of late.",I admitted. It felt so good to get all of this off of my chest. And I was grateful that the other woman agreed to take me to the back. As I feared that folks would have overheard us. Toying with my nails, I stared down at the table.

"You sound like you're tired and I'm so sorry you were so isolated for so long.",she stated. I felt a strange amount of warmth in my chest at this. It has been so long since anyone had sympathized with me about my condition. Or actually expressed it to me. As after Wade's death, there's been no one that actually knew me at all. No one that I could turn to about everything I've been through. The other woman took my hands in her own. I glanced up at her face as she continued,"But, you don't need to be ever again."

"You can stay here and work in my shop as a barista.",she offered. Smiling as sweet as humanly possible. This was one of the nicest things anyone said to me. Giving my hands a gentle squeeze, she asked,"I mean if you'd like to?"

That was definitely something that sounded appealing. Though, I wasn't sure why this young lady wanted me for. Who would want an old, sort of immortal for? And I asked,"Are you sure, Josephine?"

"I mean, I'm not really all that great with coffee.",I answered. But she assured me that she could teach me. And that I could even live in the apartment upstairs. As it wasn't in use after the last tenant moved out a month ago. Someone that she didn't really want to talk about in the slightest bit. Nor did I want to press her on that.

Not now, at least.

So, I agreed to her idea. As it seemed like a good deal for me. One that I would be pretty damn stupid to refuse.

After this, Josephine let go of my hands before grabbing my backpack. Leading me towards the long staircase that lead to the apartment. It wasn't perfect by any means but, it was all that I needed. And it was already furnished, too. I allowed her to take me on a tour of the place. There were so many items that I would have to spend a lot on. Such as a bed, a dresser, and a couch. Along with a microwave and a coffee maker. Not, that I would really be needing something like that. After all, I was going to be living over a coffee shop.

If I wanted coffee, I could go down to get some.

Josephine set my backpack down on queen bed. One that was actively made. With beautiful purple sheets that looked to be freshly laundered. It made me a bit curious as I stare down at it. Then Josephine informed,"I know it's weird but, I used to take naps up here."

"I changed the sheets just this morning, that's why they're not dusty.",she added. A tiny smile on her face at this information. I wasn't entirely sure why but, I got this odd feeling about this. Again, I didn't speak up about this. Instead I thanked her for giving me this place at all. She hugged me and told me that I wouldn't regret this. Yet, a small part of me was already starting to. And I just hope that the consequences of my actions weren't going to bite me in the ass too hard.