Oh so beautiful rose Hearts

𝐵𝑦𝑟𝑜𝑛’𝑠 𝑗𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝐴𝑢𝑔𝑢𝑠𝑡 1𝑠𝑡,2013

Backstory: I’m not gonna say to much about how me Byron feels in this but my therapist said this was a good way of expressing my anger or something I don’t know . I’m thirteen my birthday is in two weeks . Everyone in school Started a rumor that I killed both of my parents and my little sister which I’m not gonna deny nor say I did because I really don’t care what anybody else thinks it’s just, I don’t remember anything from that day I just remember being in a police station being coddled by my grandmother, everyone knows I hate being coddled I don’t do that love shit I just want to do me and get this life shit over with to be fucking honest .

𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑎 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑝

𝐵𝑦𝑟𝑜𝑛

“Yeooo Byron are you coming to the game tonight” screamed tio

“I can’t I’m busy I gotta help my grandmother with something” I said hoping i don’t get caught lying

“Byron bro you cannot be serious right now you are seventeen taking care of your sick ass grandmother whose sitting on her death bed” tio said trying to hide his anger

“Bro you just don’t get it do you she’s the only thing I have left after everything happened with my parents . She practically made me into who I am today .” I said angrily trying not to punch tio in the face

“Alright whatever bro we gotta get to English before that bald bitch try setting us up for detention” tio said impatiently

Tio was one of the few African American kids in our school, he’s been my best friend since we was in eighth grade. He’s Lightskinned curly haired which at the moment was in singles, he stands about six foot three, varsity quarterback for the football team oh and did I mention he’s mister bitches?

“Mr Johnson and Mr Rodriguez you guys are ten minutes late what’s your excuses” said miss bower

Miss bower was this little old white lady who was bald as shit like she could barely put her hair in a bun she had Granma glasses but I noticed something there was this new girl who I never seen before sitting in the seat on the right of me so I took my normal seat and I take off my backpack grab my books from inside and start paying attention to miss bower’s boring ass lesson. Fifteen or twenty minutes go by then I hear this whisper coming from the right of me “pssttt, I’m Alicia nice to meet you what’s your name” this girl sounded so enthusiastic it annoyed me a little

I mumbled “my names Byron what do you want”

“I just wanted to let you know your pretty cute and if you wanna talk more during lunch” she said sounding pretty scared and excited

I don’t know why she would think I’m cute I have cuts all over my wrist and arms that are very noticeable I have cuts on my face and burns on my neck from the constant abuse I felt from my grandmother.

I said “yeah sure whatever” I sounded very emotionless to be honest .

After that class I walked to my locker where tio met me and said

“Heyyyy big B I seen you macking with that new shorty in class I see you boy get out there” he said it very happily way to happily it annoyed me

I don’t know why Alicia would think I’m cute she’s white pale skin no cuts no nothing well none that shown to the naked eye anyways she had bright blue eyes which to be honest anybody else except me would get lost in she has this forest green hair which looked pretty good on her she was about four foot eleven inches with curves and braces that fit her cheesy ass smile

𝑆ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑎 𝑐𝑢𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑡𝑜 𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑒𝑠𝑦 𝑎𝑠𝑠 𝑠𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑒

“it’s nothing really I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship brotherman” I said calmly

“Just try bro it wouldn’t hurt you” tio said

“We will see” I said as I walked into biology class

*two hours later*

“HEYYY BYRONNNN OVER HERE” I hear Alicia scream over the loud ass crowd in the lunch room

I simply walk over to her she looks so cute right now, if I could somewhat show emotions I would probably have a chance with her

“Hey Alicia” I said silently

“Are you okay Byron you sound pretty sad” she said with a grin on her cute ass face as she blushes

“I’m fine I’m just really tired today” in reality I’m having withdrawals from my crippling Xanax and coke addiction.

“Do you wanna sit outside it’s pretty nice out today, maybe that’ll lighten up your mood” she takes my hand drags me out the cafeteria with everyone looking at us and dragging me outside underneath this big tree that looks like it’s gonna fall soon to be honest.

“Heyyy you didn’t have to drag me outside like that” I said chuckling a little bit

“Yes I did you wouldn’t have came If I didn’t” she said laughing

Damn she’s so cute like why am I feeling like this

“Why are You staring at me Byron do I have something on my face” she said confusingly

“Oh no no no I just zoned out a little bit” I said frantically hoping she doesn’t think I’m weird

“So tell me about yourself Alicia, why’d you transfer here out of all places” I said trying to change the subject

“Well it’s a long sto-“ the bell cut her off before she could finish her sentence

“Looks like we gotta get back to class see you later” as I wave goodbye to her

𝙰𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚊’𝚜 𝚍𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝙾𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟷𝟷𝚝𝚑,𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟹

Today October eleventh twenty thirteen i got into fifteen fights this year at school, I really don’t care about the rules, I really don’t care about anything to be honest, school rules I break em, laws I break them, people’s faces I break them. I mean I guess I see myself as a budding sociopath or something because I literally feel nothing numb some will say what do you expect from a teenage girl who was abused and raped until she was twelve years old . I act out I cut myself I dye my hair I catch cases and I truly don’t give a flying fuck what anybody else feels if I see you as someone that’ll benefit me I’ll keep you around once you stop being of any use imma trash you like I trash my food at lunch .

𝐵𝑦𝑟𝑜𝑛’𝑠 𝑗𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝐹𝑒𝑏𝑢𝑟𝑎𝑟𝑦 14,2014

Today’s Valentine’s Day I hate that love shot with a passion . The rumors at school been getting worse so I just started isolating myself living with my grandmother been total hell i knew she was bad from the stories my mother use to tell me but my grandmother is literally Lilith reincarnated (Lilith is lucifers first wife)

It started off as verbal abuse which I’m use to my dad was an alcoholic so it didn’t bother me as much, but then she got high off klonopins Xanax and coke and when I got home from school one day she just started beating me and beating me left hook,right hook, jab type shit I thought I was in the ring with prime Mike Tyson then she tied me up fed me dog food forcefully and then forced Xanax down my throat. Then left she probably had a client seeing she was a mid tier whore. Well lemme tell y’all about my personality, I’m antisocial, I’m suicidal and homicidal I really don’t speak much since I been accused of killing my parents and my sister so everyone’s scared of me. I have curly black hair with pink tips, I listen to a lot of rock like “Black Veil Brides”, “Pierce the veil” type shit. I have a tattoo of three roses on my back with my sisters my dads and my mothers names under them I also have a skull tattoo on my hand. I stand about 6 ft muscular but who cares nobody wants a emo bitch . Talk to y’all soon (talking to my voices in my head)

𝐹𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑠?𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑠? 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑓𝑢𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔

𝙰𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚊

After lunch with Byron I went to the last class of the day, but I sat in the far back away from everybody else I didn’t wanna be talked to or looked at because one wrong look someone’s getting they skull crushed into the pavement outside . But of course ten minutes later this tall scrawny white kid with glasses he kinda looked like the nerd from diary of the wimpy kid

“hey my names Jon nice to meet you may I sit next to you?” He said in a normal tone

“Yeah whatever I don’t care” I said in a monotone voice

Not even fifteen seconds later this kid taps me on the shoulder because I laid my head down to listen to music I was listening to “Giving Girls cocaine” by lil peep and Tracy

“Hey, whatever your name is you should be paying attention this lesson is kinda good” he said smirky

“Oh yeahhh it’s soo good” i said sarcastically

“My names also Alicia so if you’re not gonna call me by my name go kill yourself” I said rudely I mean what the fuck is he talking to me for, it’s also ironic the suicidal kid probably told the none suicidal kid to kill himself

*forty minutes later*

I see Byron walking so I run up to him tapping him on his shoulder he’s so cute with his beautiful hand tattoo and green eyes

“What Alicia” he said rudely

“Don’t be such a bitch Byron where are you going” I said rudely

“I’m going to school” he said sarcastically

“Well shit I’m going with you” I said rudely

“Slow ya roll Little one” he said as he pats my head like a little ass kid

I punch him in the stomach

“That shit kinda hurted where the fuck you get so much strength from” he said holding his stomach in pain

“Let’s just say I was the dom in all my relationships” I said laughing internally

We walk to these old train tracks I swear I’ll kill him before he kills me

He pulls out some weed from inside his bag plops down in a little patch of grass and starts rolling it up

“You smoke” he asked me

“Do I smoke? Are you dumb of course I smoke dummy” I said chuckling a little bit

He grabs a lighter from his pocket and sparks the blunt he takes a long hit ghosts it and goes

“So what’s the long story why’d you transfer here” then he passes me the blunt I take it of course and I go “Why should I even open up or trust you? I don’t know you like that” I said with a little smirk on my face

“Shorty I’m the most antisocial person in the school everyone there hated me since I was thirteen” he said looking at me

I take a long hit of the blunt I can’t ghost though so he laughed at me and I hit him in his head playfully

“No wonder why they hate you you’re a fucking dick wad” I said laughing a little bit then I hand him the blunt

He takes a long hit of the blunt before going

“They hate me because they all think I killed my parents” he said with a serious ass face

“Well did you?” I asked because I’m genuinely curious

“I’m not going to say I didn’t but I’m not going to say I did because I don’t remember that day at all to be honest” he said still with that serious face of his he takes another long hit before going

“You ever just end up somewhere and don’t remember how you got there “

“No” I said looking at him in his eyes

“Well then why are you are?” He says keeping eye contact hitting the blunt

“Well, my father was abusive and a pedophile he raped me and hit me until I was twelve years old but then my mother found out and stabbed him sixteen times in the chest so she’s going to jail for the rest of her life so I had to move down here to Massachusetts with my aunt and uncle” I said before taking the blunt from him and hitting it for a while

He looks at me sorta like admiring me a little bit while I smoke

“I also got expelled from all public schools where I use to live, I use to fight a lot” I said admiring the blunt that’s about to be finished

It was silent for a moment and then he randomly goes

“Wanna go shoot some wild duck?”

“I go yeah sure where we gonna get guns though”

He takes my hand leaving both our bags behind and dragging me into the wooded part of the train tracks he had to be dragging me for at least five minutes then he walks into these bushes and comes out with a glock nine fully loaded and aims it at me

“I can shoot you right now and nobody would even know” then he puts the glock to my forehead I look at him smile stick out my tongue

“Do it daddy make me beg for my life” I say smiling at him

“You’re a crazy bitch this is gonna be a great friendship” he says lifting the glock from my forehead he puts it in his waist and he takes my hand and brings me to the little pond with a lot of ducks Nd he shoots a couple laughing as he shoots one by one

“My turn pussy” I take the glock from him unloading the clip on about six ducks smiling while shooting

“Great now I can’t shoot because I have no Bullets fucking dick head” he tells me chuckling a little bit

He takes my hand examines it a bit chuckles then stares me dead in my eyes emotionless almost

I stare back and with my other hand I choke him and pull him in for a kiss his lips were soft I then feel him grabbing my neck choking me back I then pull back and as we’re choking each other we both are smiling keeping eye contact then I hear my phone ring

He goes “answer it”

The number was my uncle I answer and say

“Yes uncle Derek?” I say rudely

“Where the fuck are you Alicia” he says sounding pissed off

“Im hanging out with a friend I’ll be home soon” I say calmly

He hangs up the phone and I go

“Sorry Brycy I gotta go home” he takes out his phone which had a cracked screen

I stare at it not knowing what he wants he goes

“Your number piss baby” he says smirking

I take his phone and put my number in it hug him goodbye and leave having to walk home in the dark

Leaving Bryce confused to what we are .

𝐵𝑦𝑟𝑜𝑛’𝑠 𝑗𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑎𝑙. 𝐹𝑒𝑏𝑢𝑟𝑎𝑟𝑦 17𝑡ℎ,2014

Today was ass, I got in trouble because when I Was about to get jumped I pulled out a knife and I got suspended because I was about to get jumped I swear on my sister I hate this fucking town that’s not even the worst part on my way home everyone was throwing apples and shit at me like I’m some type of monsters they think they know that story of how my parents died which is while they were sleeping I set the house on fire, I don’t remember anything From that day so I can’t deny nor admit to doing anything that they say I did but that doesn’t matter they gonna be mad when I start doing them how they did me

𝙰𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚊’𝚜 𝚍𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝙾𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟷𝟸𝚝𝚑,𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟹

My mother killed my father yesterday now she’s in prison i witnessed everything and I’m not going to lie I helped her with it, as she was stabbing him I grabbed his gun after she was done and she was cleaning up I stood over him and shot him once in the head and once in the crotch I took a knife cut his chest open took out his heart and replaced it with a rose that was on our kitchen table then I stitched it up with the first aid kit Nd went to clean up in my bathroom since me and my mom don’t share a bathroom. After that she called the cops on herself feeling guilty and we had to go down to the police station

𝐴𝑏𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑓𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑑

𝐵𝑟𝑦𝑠𝑜𝑛

when Alicia left I had nothing to do but go back to that hell hole I called home, so I went put the glock in my little hiding spot which was right next to where I buried my grandmother. I start walking home and it’s cold as fuck outside and I forgot my jacket in my locker so I had to walk in the freezing cold to my house which wasn’t that far away so I wasn’t complaining I put on my headphones turned on some juice wrld and continued my walk just me and my thoughts which all my thoughts were about how Alicia kissed me randomly, I’m confused I never really had a girlfriend before every girl in our town was scared of me. I get home I live in a nice neighborhood, my grandmother was middle class she paid off her house for the next two years so I practically live here rent free, when I got home I took off my shoes went to my room grabbed some black ethika underwear some sweats and a t shirt to go shower. The shower is pretty fire it’s a nice walk in shower with one of those square shower heads at the top coming down on you I got to the bathroom put my clothes down on the toilet turned on some music rolled a blunt smoked a little bit then showered, it stung to be honest. I got out the shower looked at my phone and I texted Alicia

Alicia☻︎

Hey it’s Byron save my number bitch

Alicia☻︎

I know imma bitch but I’m your bitch daddy

lol wyd tho?

Byronシ

Nothing just got out the shower about to head to work

Alicia☻︎

Where do you work???

Byronシ

I work at the children center near the mall I’ll see you tmr at school bye

Alicia☻︎

Bye daddy☹︎

𝐵𝑦𝑟𝑜𝑛’𝑠 𝑗𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑦 𝐷𝑒𝑐𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟 25𝑡ℎ, 2016

Today on my sixteenth birthday, I killed my grandmother. I have no recollection of killing her but I know I did because when I came to I had a knife in my hands she was laid out on the living room floor with at least fifty stab wounds to the chest. We got into a fight today over what really happened to my parents she started hitting me and that’s the last thing I remember before I came to covered in blood with a butcher knife in my hands. I examined her body, I see when I stabbed her chest I opened it and took her heart out and put a rose where her heart should be and all I could think to myself is, what a beautiful rose heart...

𝐴𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛? 𝐴𝑟𝑒 𝑤𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠

𝐴𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑖𝑎

After I left hanging out with Byron I went home to my uncles and aunts. My little cousins aren’t home they probably both at their sports practice I came home and instantly went into my cousins room who was about my age laid on her back because she was using her iPad watching “The end of the f*cking world” on Netflix when she realizes I’m there she goes

“What now Alicia”

I look at her for a quick second smiling a little bit

“Whattt Alicia” she said impatiently

I look at her still smiling and I go

“Soooo, there’s this boyyy” I started blushing

“Again Alicia? Are we serious you just got out of relationship with that abusive ass dude named Franklin” she said angrily

“He’s dead to me now sis but this boys different, his name is Byron he’s six-“ she stopped me in the middle of her sentence

“Byron as in the boy that killed both his parents and his sister, stay away from him bitch cause you might be next” she said scared for my safety

“He didn’t kill his parents kiana” I said defensively

“Just be safe girl” she said as I walked out her room

I went into my room which had a bathroom in it my aunt was a lawyer and my uncle was a war veteran so we had good money I grabbed my trusted old razor blade from my cabinet in my bathroom I cut six times on both my thighs and lit a blunt took a long hit and I ash’d it on my open wound. I like the pain it makes me feel better it eases my mood. After I cleaned myself up I took a shower which stung like a bitch . But I smiled at the pain to be honest. I heard my drunk ass uncle trying to unlock my door. I open it and he’s drunk as fuck .

“Hey Alicia” he said seductively then he gripped my breast I tried getting away but he put a gun to my stomach and said speak I’ll kill you my damn self pushing himself against me whipping his Dick out and making me give him a blow job Then he threw me onto my bed and forced my legs open and forced himself onto me after he was finished he said “tell anybody about this and I’ll kill you, I’m not your father I’ll fight back”. I sat in my room crying for hours on end and I cut myself on my stomach and more on my legs. I want to kill my uncle kale he’s lucky I don’t stomp his head out, I hate it here and I can’t tell anybody about this because nobody’s gonna believe the orphan who use to get raped and beat by her father who got killed by her mother . I texted Byron seeing if he was off of work seeing it was ten thirty at night

Alicia✔︎

Byron, are you off work yet?

Byron♥︎

Yeah why wassup? You okay?

Alicia✔︎

Yeah I’m fine, I have a question.

Byron♥︎

what’s your question Alicia?

Alicia✔︎

Do you ever feel like your ever yelling out for help but you’re screaming silently?

Byron♥︎

Yeah, I only really got myself to be honest that’s how it’s been for a few months now. But soon I’ll have you by my side every night

Alicia✔︎

We’ll see about that daddy, goodnight see you at school

Byron♥︎

Yeah see you at school...

𝙰𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚊’𝚜 𝚍𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚢. 𝙾𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟷𝟸𝚝𝚑, 𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟻

I killed my ex boyfriend, yea I said it I killed him he wasn’t fulfilling my sexual or my emotional desires anymore so I shot him in the forehead. Yup just like that and I don’t feel nothing no guilt nothing I feel numb. He deserved to die he stopped benefiting me and like I said when I was thirteen once you stop benefiting me I’m going to throw you in the trash well in this case a body bag like you’re my lunch at school.

𝐹𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑒𝑥, 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑤

𝐵𝑦𝑟𝑜𝑛

I had a nightmare tonight, so I woke up around five in the morning so I just got up made myself a bacon egg and cheese which smacked my soul on dawgs. I went into my closest looking for an outfit to wear since the cuts on my wrist are fresh and I really don’t want nobody to see them I threw on my black Billie Ellish hoodie that I got from hot topic, all black jeans and I put on my chain that had a anarchy A symbol on it and my bracelet that has “love no one, kill anybody” engraved in it for shoes I decided on high top black vans. I threw my hood over my head since it was about forty degrees out today I grabbed my AirPods my phone put my keys in my bag, grabbed my skateboard and I skated my way to school. It took me about fifteen to twenty minutes to skate from my house to the school, which was a public school in the middle of the suburbs so they school was basically filled with rich preppy privileged nicotine addicts, if you get my drift. Alicia was waiting for me in the front of the school as soon as she seen me she ran up to me to give me a hug. I didn’t hug her back I don’t like hugs . She looked at me with a smug face and said “Byron if you don’t hug me back I swear I’ll tie you up and drown you in the pond”

I laughed and said “You can’t even hurt a fly Alicia” then I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her on her forehead she took my hand and held it all the way to her first period class, I hugged her bye and met up with tio near his locker

“Yeooo Big T how was the game last night?” I said trying to sound enthusiastic

“You missed a good one killer B, I threw for two hundred yards and four touchdowns, I ran for a hunnit yards and a touchdown” he said with a big smile on his face

“Keep grinding bro you gonna make it out fashoo” I said as we did our handshake we both had public speaking first so we went to that it was pretty ass nothing eventful. After that we went to our lockers and Alicia came to my locker and said “My ex keeps texting my phone can you deal with him daddy” with her little puppy eyes and shit

“Who even is your ex?” I said in confusion

“It’s Franklin you know, the tiny one that going to regional public?” She said anxiously

“Oh he’s a bitch, I’ll handle him for you later babes” I give her a kiss on the forehead take her hand as we walk down the hall to miss bowers class. Alicia sits next to me we take out our books and start listening to miss bower’s once again boring ass lesson. I had a straw from when I went to Dunkin before school so I took that out my bag and I rolled some paper balls and starting spitting them at miss bower. She knows it’s me she goes “BYRON FREDRICK JOHNSON GO TO THE OFFICE RIGHT THIS INSTANT” this made me laugh historically and I say “you may suck my dick respectfully miss bower with yo big ass forehead” then I threw my book at her and ran

As I was running the security who was this fat bald black dude named Justin came running and tackled me put me in handcuffs and brought me to the principals office where I sat for about thirty minutes and the principal who was this tall white chick with brown eyes and blonde hair her name was miss Jefferson she brought me into her office Justin took the handcuffs off of me and I sat down in the chair looking at her she starts speaking saying “Byron this is the fifteenth time you been in my office this month, I’m starting to think detention and suspension isn’t enough, why do you do what you do?”

“I can’t miss the person I lost my virginity too?” I say smirking as she starts to blush

“Oh hush Byron I miss you too.” She says seductively

“I miss you so much Byron” she says standing up walking to the office windows closing the blinds and locking the door. She starts unbuttoning her button-up licking her lips then she gets on my lap starts kissing on my neck and this this was the perfect time I took the knife that was in my back pocket and I stabbed her in the neck, before she could say anything she bled out to death on my lap. Don’t ask why I stabbed her I was just itching for a kill I was itching to see someone bleed at the thing I caused them, I took her car keys out of her purse I forged a letter of resignation, I put the letter on resignation on her desk I cleaned up all the blood making it look spotless like brand new. I grabbed her dead body, checked for anybody to be outside seeing that the parking lot was behind the window in the back of her desk. Nobody was outside so I throw her body on the ground, we was on the first floor. I threw her body in the trunk of her twenty sixteen bmw. I put that shit in start and drove to the wooded area of the train tracks. I cut open her chest and took out her heart, I put a rose in place of her heart and I sewed her chest back up. I dug a hole about eight feet in the grass I put her body at the bottom of the hole, there was a dead deer on the train tracks so I filled the hole about half way put the dead deer about her dead body in case the fbi notices a sequence in the kills.

Then I heard “BRY-“

𝐵𝑦𝑟𝑜𝑛’𝑠 𝑗𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑎𝑙. 𝐽𝑎𝑛𝑢𝑎𝑟𝑦 1𝑠𝑡,2016

I was raped by my principal and I know what your thinking a girl cannot rape a male. But yes she raped me she brought me into her office to talk about “my grades” then she told meet her after school for extra help on everything. So I took her up on that offer seeing I didn’t work that day. When I walked into her office which was on the first floor of the school she closed the door and told me sit down, so I did and then she blindfolded me and handcuffed both my hands to the chair I was sitting on. Then she whispered in my ear and said “I know you’re a virgin but right now you got what I want which is your dick and I got what you want the power to not make you fail this fucking grade” then she licks my ear then starts licking my neck slowly. She pulls down my pants and took the panties off from under the skirt she was wearing she takes the blindfold and handcuffs off and says “Do mommies pussy like you did your family kill this shit” she bends over and forces me to stick my dick inside of her she started moaning “pull my hair- that’s it that’s the spot ooooo I’m cumming” then I guess she came and she sucked me off after she sucked me off she cut a pentagram in my chest and said whenever you’re in trouble that’s going to save you now go home”. So I ran back home crying tears because I just got violated to the fucking max

𝐹𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑒𝑥, 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑝𝑡 2

“BYRON WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING” it’s my moms voice, but that doesn’t make sense so I turn around and I see my mom standing there I say

“Mommy, it’s not what it looks like please forgive me” I sad shedding a couple tears

“BYREE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS BRYSY WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS” she said in a begging tone

“it’s the only way I feel better about myself mom, you and dad never gave a fuck about me! It was always Jennifer this and Jennifer that never lets check on Bryson never lets see how Bryson’s doing. NOW LOOK AT YA’LL DEAD AS FUCK”

“Byron baby you’re sick you need help, we loved you we’ll always love you even now that we’re all dead.”

“you never loved me you never did now look at you dead as fuck but guess what mom IM LIVING IM STILL A FUCKING LIVE and guess what I’m doing better than I did when you dad or Jennifer was alive”

“Byron, you killed us baby why did you kill us?”

“BECAUSE YA’LL NEVER LOVED ME & WH-WHO THE FUCK IS BYRON MY NAME IS BRYSON LOOK AT YOU YOU DONT EVEN KNOW YOUR SONS OWN FUCKING NAME”

“Baby ba-“

“Byron baby who are you talking to?” It’s alicia’s voice she sees how bloody I am and I guess she put two and two together and she just hugged me I don’t know why but she hugged me then she kissed me on my lips and said

“Byron baby, why did you do it”

I just stare at her for a few minutes then I come back to, “Aren’t we supposed to be in school what are we doing on the train tracks”

“Byron, stop playing with me you don’t remember what happened?”

“No I don’t Alicia I’m dead ass why are we here” I said in a confused tone

“I don’t know I heard you screaming at somebody like you was talking to your mother but nobody was there” she said staring at me “you killed your family didn’t you” she said holding both my hands

“No I didn’t ! Why does nobody believe me” I said getting mad

She pulls out her phone and shows me a video talking to myself then she goes “Baby I think you have multiple personality disorder, it’s okay though, I still like you for you” she said before she kissed me

I was in shock and I started breaking down into this girls arms she just sat there holding me silently

About thirty minutes go by and I get up I take both of her hands I kiss her passionately and then we touch foreheads but not kissing just staring into each other’s souls intimately I take off my necklace with the anarchy symbol on it and i say “Forget about your ex you’re mine now, you belong to me everything from your pussy to your heart is mine now” I say as she stares at me then starts kissing me...

𝙰𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚊’𝚜 𝚍𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚢. 𝙽𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟹𝚛𝚍,𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟻

Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend Franklin. He’s so cute though I just love staring at him when he’s mad, he’s this tall lightskin kid with curly black hair with blonde tips he stands about five feet eight inches, short for a male that’s about fifteen but it makes him cute. After we got into our altercation, he hit me. Not going to lie I took those hit but then he started punching me in the face and I got a black eye he kicked me in my chest, he spit on me called me all types of bitch words then he said “don’t you ever I mean ever talk out your breathe around me you dirty fucking slut” then he just walks away. I sat there on the cold hallway floor, y’all know that saying where it’s like “You’re attracted to people who look/act like your parents”

Well yeah, he acts like my father but I love him in a way he’s like my life line even though he cheats and beats on me I cannot get enough of him.....

𝐵𝑦𝑟𝑜𝑛’𝑠 𝐽𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑦. 𝑀𝑎𝑟𝑐ℎ 2𝑛𝑑,2016

the day after me being raped by my principal, I made a Facebook post saying how I want my shorty to be “Unlinkable, Untextable and unreachable but you know you can’t find that in Boston” this girl named laly shared it and said your looking in the wrong place. So me being the smoove antisocial dude I am, I slid in her messenger with a gif that was like “Whatitdooobaybeeee”. We talked all night but I ended up ghosting her a few weeks later because what I just went through was so traumatizing I didn’t want to break her heart by me trying to kill myself .

𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒, ℎ𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑚𝑒, 𝑘𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒.

𝙰𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚊

After what I seen Byron do, it made me attached to him. I couldn’t get enough of his cute psychotic ass for real, the next day he wasn’t at school I was so sad and that’s not even the worse part, he wasn’t answering his fucking phone. So I go up to tio and asked him

“Hey tio, have you seen Byron?”

“Nah, not since yesterday at school, he’s probably taking care of his grandmother, she’s really sick.”

“Do you know where he lives?” I asked in a whisper type tone

“Yeah his address is two thirteen Johnson road” as soon as he said that I walked out of school through the side door obviously because who would think of somebody skipping school through the side door. I put two thirteen Johnson road in my Apple Maps, it was only a sixteen minute walk, so i walked as fast as I can to his house. I banged on his door screaming “BYRON I KNOW YOUR IN THERE OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR” to my surprise the door was unlocked, I walked in it smelled like weed and savagé Dior cologne. I walk over to the living room and I see about five coke lines on the coffee table, I push all the lines together into one big pile then I went into the kitchen to look for a plastic baggie, I look through the draws and I see about three bottles full of Xanax I sigh “what the fuck did I get myself into...” I find the little baggie I put all the coke into the baggie and i tie the baggie up like you would tie a weed bag, I put it in the draw where his xans are. I scream his name “BYRON BYRON BYRON WHERE ARE YOU DADDY”. No response I hear the shower running so I run up the stairs find his room which was a mess I’m guessing he had a mental breakdown after I showed him the video of him admitting to killing his family, his bathroom door is locked I bang on the door still screaming “BYRON BYRON BABY I KNOW YOUR IN THERE” I look for something to break the door down with because I’m genuinely scared for his safety, I can’t find nothing, frantically I kick down the door and I see...

𝙰𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚊’𝚜 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚢. 𝚂𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟻𝚝𝚑,𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟹

I had this older cousin named tyty, he was about fourteen, he was gay and he got bullied because he was gay. But in my eyes he was perfect, you could talk to him about boy problems and you can ask him for advice and

He’ll give you the best of both worlds, he’ll give you the girl advice or he’ll give you the stern boy version of how it is. But he’s been getting bullied because you know everybody on this fucking town is homophobic as fuck, so one day it was august third twenty thirteen everyone but him went to the beach. I came home because I wasn’t feeling good and I found him hanging from the chandelier above the living room. I screamed “TY NO PLEASE BE JOKING”I ran to his body cut it off the noose he hung himself with I took out my phone shaking and breathing heavy I dialed 911 and scream “HELP HELP MY COUSIN HE’S NOT BREATHING HE ATTEMPTED SUICIDE”....

Next thing I know, I’m standing crying at his funeral....

𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒, ℎ𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑚𝑒, 𝑘𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒 𝑝𝑡.2

I see Byron on the floor with his wrist slit all the way up his forearm, I check his pulse he’s still breathing I quickly look for a first aid kit and some sutures so I can give him stitches he mumbles something but I was to busy trying to stitch up his wound as I crotch down his head falls on my knee, I scream “PLEASE BYRON PLEASE KEEP FIGHTING”. I finish suturing his wound and I dial 911 the operator answers

“911 what’s your emergency?”

“HELP HELP M-OH MY GOD MY FRIEND TRIED KILLING HIMSELF, I NEED AN AMBULANCE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE AND MAKE IT QUICK.”

“An ambulance is on it’s way to you right now ma’am I need you to stay calm and apply-“ I cut the operator off “I ALREADY STITCHED UP HIS WOUND I NEED AN AMBULANCE RIGHT FUCKING NOW” as tears flow down my face like a River I hold on to his head kissing it and whispering “please don’t go please don’t go I need you I need you, you make me better you keep me sane you Byron are my yellow”

He mumbles “Alicia I want you to love me,hate me and kill me”

I tell him “I’ll never hate you baby you’re my yellow, even though we are both crazy in the head you make me a better person you make me,me.”

The two first responders come with the gurney and wheel him into the ambulance I go in, I have blood on my brand new white Nike sweater and blood on my baby blue Levi jeans, I didn’t might though because I’m praying to my loved ones that my yellow stays alive, right now I need him more then anything right now. I get into the ambulance wiping my tears and telling the two first responders what I know about the situation. We arrive at the hospital they bring him into the emergency room hook him up to some machines, I sit waiting for someone to tell me what’s happening with him

*Two hours later*

“We had to take him into emergency surgery whatever combination of drugs he was on sent his lungs into organ failure he’s lucky to be alive right now, I can take you back into his room if you like” said the doctor who looked oddly familiar but I can’t put a face to the name.

I sit down on the chair thingy take out my phone and text my aunt ari

Auntie❣︎

Hey auntie my friends in the hospital, can I stay at the hospital with him for the night he has no support system right now, he needs me.

Auntie❣︎

Yeah you can stay with him, if you don’t go to school tomorrow make sure you call me whenever you are coming home I love you tell him I wish him safe keeping me❤️

Auntie❣︎

I’ll tell him that when he wakes up, I love you too.

I close my phone and I move my chair closest to his bed I hold his hand his nails were done with a clear coat and he had a frowning face on his index, middle and pinky finger, I kiss his hand and he squeezes mine. I smile but I hold my other hand over my mouth so he doesn’t see me blushing.

He opens his eyes and says “Alicia come cuddle with me”

So I get onto the bed with him he puts his arm around my waist and his head on the crook of my neck

His breathe smelled minty for someone who Juss cheated death, I closed my eyes because I was getting tired the last thing I heard him say was “I’ll love you, I’ll hate you, if it comes down to it, I’ll kill you”

I smile and I fell asleep in his arms.....

𝐵𝑦𝑟𝑜𝑛’𝑠 𝑗𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑎𝑙. 𝐴𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑙 21𝑠𝑡, 2014

I tried committing suicide for the first time twenty days ago, the agony the abuse I been feeling to the abuse of my grandmother for the past sixteen months I can’t take it anymore, I’m really over it all. She burns cigarettes on my neck when I talk back she spits on me, she cuts me on my stomach, she feeds me dog food and stuffs xans and coke down my throat. So I took her Xanax I took about ten and I tried overdosing did it work, obviously fucking not if I’m sitting here writing a journal entry .

𝑊𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑏𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑖 𝑔𝑖𝑟𝑙?....

𝐵𝑦𝑟𝑜𝑛

I woke up in the hospital room alone, I hear the hospital shower running I assume it’s Alicia, I lay deep into the bed which wasn’t comfortable at all but I get deep into my thoughts and my voices return...

𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑢𝑐𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑎𝑖𝑙 𝑎𝑡 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑜 𝑠𝑖𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑎𝑠 𝑘𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓-𝑏𝑟𝑦𝑠𝑜𝑛

𝑌𝑜𝑢’𝑟𝑒 𝑎 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑡ℎ𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑖𝑚𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑑-𝑙𝑜𝑘𝑖

I scream “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU GUYS WANT FROM ME”

I assume I startled Alicia because when I screamed she came out the shower and said

“Baby who are you talking to” as she takes a seat on the edge of the bed and stares at me

“No one babes, just deep in my thoughts”

“You know I’m always here for you right?” As she gives me a kiss on my forehead and lays down next to me, we turn on Netflix and start watching “Criminal minds”

*𝑡𝑤𝑜 ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠 𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑟*

𝙰𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚊

as we was watching criminal minds, Byron fell asleep I mean they do have him on so many types of meds I know it’s exhausting even to breathe in the state his body is in. I check my phone to see if i have any notifications, I see three texts from my aunt ari , three texts from tio and three text from a unknown number. My aunt and tio practically texted me the same thing asking if me and Byron was okay, I responded “yeah he’s okay they needed to do emergency surgery on his lungs but he should be fine in the long run”

𝑈𝑛𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑛

heyyyy

what the fuck are you doing

Answer your fucking phone bitch I’m not playing .

Whose this? Why are you texting my phone.

𝑈𝑛𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑛

You know who this is bitch, stop playing with me right now licia .

Oh my fucking god, what do you want Franklin?

𝑈𝑛𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑛

I want my my bitch back fuck?

Im not your bitch Franklin .

𝑈𝑛𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑛

You know you’re my bitch where are you

Im home Franklin,why?

𝑈𝑛𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑛

Alright, I’m coming to scoop u in an hour and thirty

Okay...

I know what I have to do, Franklin stopped benefiting me in every way possible it’s time to put him in a body bag I left Byron a note “In every darkness there’s light, find the light find the tracks find myself”~your yellow

I left the hospital I went home I showered and put on a all black Nike tech sweatsuit, I grabbed my black bandanna and my switch blade, I tied the bandanna around my face like it was a mask he texted me “I’m outside” As I walk outside and off my porch, I walk closer to his car playing with my switchblade in my pocket and then....

𝙰𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚊’𝚜 𝚍𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚢. 𝙰𝚞𝚐𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝟷𝚜𝚝,𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟼

I met this boy named Franklin we been dating on and off for about a year now but recently he’s been getting violent, aggressive abusive basically. He tells me “kill myself” he calls me a whore,slut,cum bucket. The emotional abuse causes me to cut my wrist deeply then he gets upset that I’m cutting thinking he’s doing nothing wrong but in reality I’m cutting because he doesn’t know how to fucking treat me right. I told this boy my pain, my story and he turns around and adds on to my pain in the worse way possible, being an abuser being a fucking poser... it hurts being hurt by someone you explained your hurt too .

𝑊𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑏𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑖 𝑔𝑖𝑟𝑙 𝑝𝑡.2

𝙰𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚊

Then I get hit in the back of the head by like a baseball bat or something but it hit me in the back of my head hard as fuck, when I woke up I was in the trunk of a suv, I heart chatter but to be honest it was inaudible, I couldn’t make out what they was saying but I know one of the men who took me was Franklin, the car came to a fast stop I got silent, shaking from my anxiety because I really don’t know what is about to happen, they open the trunk they blindfold me before I can see anything, they roughly take me out the trunk of the suv and grab me by both arms and walk me into some place that was very cold im assuming it’s a abandoned warehouse, they sit me down in this wooden chair and tie both my hands behind the wooden chair then one of the men took the blindfold off and guess who I see smiling all smug and shit, Franklin.... ugh how much I hate him he starts speaking

“Heyyyy mamas I missed you” he says as he’s playing with a butcher knife in his hand

“Fu-“ he puts the knife to my neck and says

“Speak while I’m talking I dare you, you will get your throat slit.” He takes the knife away from my neck and goes

“So, you just thought you could leave me without saying goodbye?” You may speak now peasant.

“Fuck you Franklin, Wait until my boyfriend finds out about this you’re gonna b dead”

“You think I care if I’m dead because you’ll be dead right along with me”. He then kicked me in the chest which knocked the chair over so now I’m on my back staring at the blank dark ceiling, he stands over me with his foot on my chest pressing down on it I smile “I like that” just testing his patience he presses down more cracking one of my ribs I smiled at the pain he looked at me just staring at me, he then crotches down examines me for a few seconds, takes the knife slides it around my stomach then pierces my skin which made me bleed he then licks the knife and goes “I missed making you bleed bae”

I wince in pain and go “I’m not your bae bi-“he digs the knife back into the wound and says “What did I tell you about speaking when not told to”

“I’m getting tired of-YEO WHAT THE FUCK”.....

𝐵𝑦𝑟𝑜𝑛’𝑠 𝑗𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑦. 𝑀𝑎𝑦 4𝑡ℎ, 2011

Life’s been really hard lately, I’ve been battling these voices since I was at least six years old it’s like when I’m mad I’m not Byron anymore I’m somebody else,I black out I don’t care who I’m hurting I don’t care what I’m doing, I’m numb. I know that I might be a budding psychopath but I still want my loved ones to feel safe around me and they can’t feel safe around me if I can’t control my temper. I think the voices are different personalities like one voice is always angry at the world his name is Bryson, he’s the one that hurts people, the other ones name is Loki, Loki’s the one that’s sad depressed and almost like he’s the silent crazy type, he’ll shoot you won’t regret it go to your funeral hug and talk to your family cry a little bit but be the one to kill you . If I don’t get this under control soon I’m afraid I might kill somebody.

𝑊𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑏𝑒 𝑚𝑦 𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑖 𝑔𝑖𝑟𝑙 𝑝𝑡.3

𝐵𝑦𝑟𝑜𝑛

when I awoke from my nap at the hospital Alicia wasn’t there I thought maybe she went out to eat, get some new clothes from home or something but on my little table thingy where the nurses put my food there was a sticky note that read, “In every darkness there’s light, find the light find the tracks find myself”~your yellow”. We made that up a couple weeks back well not the “find the tracks find myself” part but the “in every darkness there’s light” part which we only say when we’re in trouble. I scream for the nurse I ask if they can discharge me they said sure but to keep it easy because I just had surgery you know, so I rush downstairs I had to think of what the last part of the note meant she said something about train so I call a Uber to the school and I rush over to the train tracks and then I remember her ex was texting her off blocked number, so maybe he kidnapped her, I run into the abandoned warehouse deep into the woods, I push open the door and I see him standing over her saying “What did I tell you about speaking when not told to”, then he looks behind him and says “YEO WHAT THE FUCK, WHO ARE YOU?!?!”. I stare at him for about fifteen seconds and i say “I’m the the person that’s about to put you six feet under” he rushes towards me he stabs me once in the leg, it didn’t hurt that bad then he uppercuts me and my nose starts bleeding. Alicia screams “BABY MY SWEATER”, I try running towards her, he kicks me in the face which only fueled my anger and then I blacked out. Ion remember anything that happened

𝐵𝑟𝑦𝑠𝑜𝑛 (𝑏𝑦𝑟𝑜𝑛’𝑠 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑙𝑡𝑦)

I smile at this boy that thinks he’s doing something to me, I look at him while wiping my bloody nose with my hands, I had blood on my right front tooth. When I smiled at him he said “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SMILING AT PUSSY”

“you, i think it’s cute you think you put fear into my heart I’m heartless bro”

“ILL RIP YOUR HEART AND FEED TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND BITCH”

He rushes towards me, i trip him with my leg he falls to the ground dropping the knife he once had in his hands, I look at Alicia smiling at her she looks like she’s in pain,like a lot of pain. I get up limping a little bit and grab the knife I look at him and smile. He begs me “PLEASE PLEASE MAKE THIS QUICK IM SORRY IM SORRY”

I smile thinking of what I’m about to do to this poor poor kid, I take him by his hair and lift him up like you would see in one of those action movies, I punch him in the face he falls out of my grip. I smile as he crawls trying to find safety, I love it when they try running, I walk to him stepping on his knee cap, hearing his knee break and him wincing in agony made me laugh, I step on his other knee cap breaking that one I then pick him up by his hair again look him dead in the eyes as tears fall down his face I say, “you fucked with my shorty now, you have to die...”

he begs “PLEASE PLEASE DONT KILL ME,ILL LEAVE HER ALONE I PRO-“I stick the knife right into his stomach, he was annoying it was fun at first but, he just got me annoyed as he falls to the ground I light the blunt that was in my pocket and I step on the knife which was still stuck in his stomach, I watched as his life left his body. He died with his eyes open poor guy, I bend down and close his eyes because I hate people staring at me. I take the knife out his stomach cut and open his chest, walk around outside looking for a rose when I finally found one, I come back to the warehouse I bend back down removing his heart from his chest and placing the rose inside of his chest. I go to Alicia and untie her, she gives me the biggest hug ever. I dialed 911 on his cell phone and left it there, I then pick Alicia up and walk out the warehouse with her crying into my shoulder, i then ask her to be my Cali girl which made her smile .

𝙰𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚊’𝚜 𝚍𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚢. 𝙼𝚊𝚢 𝟿𝚝𝚑,𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟸

Im so sick and infected from where I live. It’s so toxic my dad is abusing and raping me, he started filming him fucking me every night like the sadistic bastard he is. He kicks me in my chest when I go against him and I feel like my mother doesn’t do nothing about it. If I ever get the chance I would kill him and put a rose in place of his heart.

𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑑𝑜 𝑤𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑜𝑛 𝑛𝑜𝑤?

𝙱𝚢𝚛𝚘𝚗

After the kidnapping and murder of Alicia’s ex me and her hid out at my place. That same night i went to shower to get rid of the evidence, i burned all my clothes that i was wearing. Alicia was still in shock but she came to me, she wrapped her arms around my neck i wrapped mine around her waist, our foreheads touching living in the moment i kissed her. she kisses me back she moves her left arm nd puts her hand around my neck i move my right arm and place my right hand on her neck as we still kiss. I push her back against the wall still kissing her and holding onto her neck. I moved my head back and smile sadistically as i’m holding her neck, her life in my right hand, I loosen my grip around her neck and move my hand caressing her breast as i start kissing on her neck slowly start sucking on it leaving hickeys to mark my territory, her gasping in shock you can tell she’s never had a experience like this before, as i leave hickeys all around her neck i start moving down her chest leaving hickeys on her breast as i go down her body leaving a trail of hickeys until i get below her belly button, i look up at her she looks down at me she nods her head yes giving me consent to keep going. I pull her pants down leaving her underwear on, i put one leg on my shoulder she puts her other leg on the other shoulder. I start kissing her inner thighs leaving hickeys on her inner thighs. I leave her underwear on kissing her pussy i can feel her getting wetter and wetter with each kiss. I move her underwear to the side and start eating her out. She’s grabbing my hair moaning “don’t stop i love it” i keep going for about ten minutes then her legs start to shake and she still tugging on my hair. i let her release her legs from around my neck, she trembles as she tries to stand i walk her to the bed, quiet not knowing what to say she says “you are amazing” and pulls me in for a kiss. i put my hand around her neck again and put my tongue in her mouth and use my other hand to finger her. she moans into my mouth almost as if she can barely take it i lay her down, i kiss down her body until i get to her lower stomach i look up she nods her head giving me consent to keep going, i stand up on both my knees and reach for a condom she stops me and says “i trust you”. So i pull down my pants and my underwear her jaw drops as she sees what i’m working with. I start to insert myself inside of her, she’s pulls me in almost as if she doesn’t want me to see her face she’s scratching my back as i start with long deep strokes she starts moaning “please me daddy i love you”. i start going a little harder with deep strokes hitting her g spot she starts screaming “Don’t stop baby don’t stop” scratching my back as her pussy lips tighten around my dick i keep going harder and harder until she cums, her whole body starts to shake she starts to cry, i probably came in her but i don’t think she really cares. I help her put her underwear on and i put on my underwear and lay down nexts to her she lays her head on my chest i play with her hair as she falls asleep i smoke my blunt and go to sleep with her, wondering how are we gonna move on now ?….

𝙱𝚢𝚛𝚘𝚗’𝚜 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚂𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟿𝚝𝚑, 𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟸

Well i ran away, i’m not old enough to legally work so i just been working one of the corners. I’m scared because i don’t know what to do or how to do it. Yeah i can go on and on about how i’m not in a toxic environment anymore but i’ve been so infected so intoxicated i can feel myself slipping into insanity almost. I’m scared of what i’m capable of i’m scared of what i can do to other people with my own to hands. I miss my mom,my sister and my dad. I shouldn’t have to live like this this isn’t fair. But i got to keep going i’m gonna try and stay on this abandoned building on eighth street until i can find a job at a grocery store or selling drugs. write soon ~𝚋𝚢𝚛𝚘𝚗

“𝐺𝑒𝑡 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓“

𝐴𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑖𝑎

I woke up in the middle of the night laying on byron’s chest, i can’t believe it he fucked the shit out of me and asked for consent before doing anything he’s still sleeping so i have to be quiet. I get up and look for a towel when i find one i tippy toe out of his room into the living room, gosh i’m so glad he lives alone im practically naked. I see on his coffee table he has some xanax i break off half a bar and take it, i walk to the bathroom and turn on the light and look in the mirror i lift up my neck and see he left bruises from how hard he was choking me. Bruises and hickeys it looks like i just got abused but it was all consensual, I turn on the water take off all my clothes and get in the shower, I sit there for about fifteen minutes washing my hair and stuff when i hear footsteps walking and getting closer, I tense up as a ptsd response until i realize it’s Byron. He gets into the shower behind me and holds me by the waist and with his deep sexy ass morning voice says “Good morning beautiful” i say good morning back and he kisses me. I turn around and start washing his hair for him after i’m done i get out the shower and wrap myself in my towel, i can’t brush my teeth because i have nothing here. he stays in the shower for about ten more minutes gets out and brushes his teeth. i look at him in amazement he’s just so perfect after he’s done he takes my hand and drags me into his room, he hands me his underwear and one of his t-shirts, i wonder to myself how is he so calm after going through a psychotic breakdown and killing somebody, for me? he lays on my chest and goes “we have to go to school tomorrow so they don’t start asking questions”. i nod my head yes. He heard his phone ring he grabs it and says “i have to take this mamas”. He goes into the other room for about fifteen minutes. He comes back into the room and sits down he has this look on his face like he didn’t know what to do so i stand up and take both his hands i tell him it’s going to be okay and that we’re in this together he doesn’t have to worry anymore and i’m here for him. He lays down and goes to sleep. I get up and walk to the kitchen i grab some Fruity Pebbles sit down and eat. I hear my phone ring and i think “Fuck my aunt and uncle”. I pick it up and it sure is my uncle i answer the phone and he goes “Hey alicia you seen the news?”, i don’t know what he was talking about seeing i don’t watch the news i go “No what are you talking about, you know i don’t watch the news”. He pauses and says “Your principle was found dead.. schools out for a week” well damn i drop my phone in shock, i didn’t know the principal but she seemed so nice and laid back by the time i could pick up my phone and respond to what he said he had hung up. Well i guess i gotta tell byron right? But before i could my uncle calls me back i pick up and he just starts screaming at me saying how i’m worthless how my mom should’ve killed me instead of my father and that i need to get over myself. I don’t take any offense to what he’s saying because he’s probably drunk and sad seeing he was cheating on my aunt with the principal but he don’t know i know that. I finish eating my cereal clean out the bowl and the spoon i used, I walk back into the room byron still sound asleep, He looks so peaceful and pretty but i have to wake him up. I start trying to wake him up by lightly pushing his shoulder he doesn’t wake up so i start pushing a little harder, he wakes up i think but he starts crying, choking me screaming “IM NOT LETTING YOU DO THIS TO ME EVER AGAIN” He starts like reenacting a stabbing on my body with his fist then he finally goes lucid again. he just holds me and says he’s sorry for his ptsd response. I tell him the news about the principal, he just sits in silence as i straddle him and hug him tightly.

I wish this boy knew how much i truly love him

𝙰𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚊’𝚜 𝙳𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚢. 𝙼𝚊𝚢 𝟷𝟷𝚝𝚑,𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟸

Today i just wanted to pack my bags and leave but i can’t he controls every single part of my life it makes me sick. Whenever i don’t give him what he wants he hits me, i just want to leave him but how can i leave without him noticing.

“𝐹𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑠? 𝑇𝑢𝑟𝑛 𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑠“

𝐵𝑦𝑟𝑜𝑛 (𝑓𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑡𝑤𝑜 𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑘𝑠 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑖𝑝𝑎𝑙 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑑)

I caught myself slipping into a psychotic state recently, i mean i’m a murderer and i actually enjoyed hearing him beg for his life you know? But we found out alicia’s pregnant. That poor kid a psychopath for a father and a sociopath for a mother but we intend on keeping it because a mini me would not be so bad. I been picking up extra shifts at my job so i can try and take my mind that my rapist the person i killed with my bare hands was found dead and since we don’t start school again until Monday so imma work until then because i gotta try and seem normal. I’m restocking the shelves at work, i was thinking to myself and caught myself drifting into my thoughts. I see tio i missed tio man, i walk towards him he meets me in the middle we do our handshake i hug him tight he hugs me back. I ask him what he’s doing over on this side of town because he lives closer to the suburbs then anything he tells me he’s here to check up on me because someone gave him a tip that i’ve been “over working” like how do i overwork , i gotta provide for my family. I pull him outside and behind a dumpster and i know very weird. I tell tio that alicia is pregnant and i’ve been working so much because my grandma had died, little does he know i’ve been living by myself for years and i killed her off years ago. He looks at me and says that him and his family will take me in if needed. I tell him i’ll think about it and i have to get back to work. He daps me up and tells me he’ll catch me at school, i dap him up and tell him i love him. I go back inside i continue stocking shelves and shit. I clock out and call alicia to see how she’s feeling i tell her im on the way home, she tells me how her day was and that she wanted me to pick her up some mcdonald’s on my walk home i said ok as i’m walking to mcdonald’s i get a flashback to the night the night where my parents died…

𝙱𝚢𝚛𝚘𝚗’𝚜 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚢 𝚂𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟷𝟷,𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟸

I’ve been squatting in these abandoned buildings on 8th street i met this squatter he’s been squatting a long time. He isn’t old or anything probably late teens early twenties he’s been showing me around teaching me the ways of the streets, how to get drugs and flip them, etc. One day me and Gerald was squatting in this one abandoned house and the cops just busted the doors down i was small enough at that i ran out of trouble i was behind a piece of wood and heard gunshots three of them *Bow Bow Bow* then i heard the footsteps walk away i heard Gerald screaming in pain, i ran to him he had his hand in his stomach applying pressure to his own wound with his other hand he took my hand as i held him his last words were “I love brother as much as i love roses” he died in my hands when the cops came in to sweep the perimeter they seen me holding him in my arms sobbing into the hoodie he gave me not to long ago. The police brought me back to my grandmothers house she held me tight acting like she cared that i was gone she probably didn’t even notice i was gone to be honest

“𝑊ℎ𝑦 𝑐𝑎𝑛’𝑡 𝑤𝑒 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡....“

𝐴𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑖𝑎

Today’s the first day back to school i could make up one thousand excuses and reasons why i shouldn’t show up to the first day back me and byron went shopping the other day he spoiled me, he got me shoes and sum pants. Well his taxes just hit so he went and bought a car, nothing fancy an old Honda civic but he loves it. I woke up he was already up making breakfast i creep behind him put my hands around his waist and my head in the crease of his shoulder cheek on cheek i felt him smile a little bit and with his sexy ass morning voice he said “good morning beautiful go shower and get dressed breakfast will be done soon”. I kiss him and walk away to grab my towel, I shower for about fifteen minutes when i get out i put on some clothes just some sweatpants, some beat AF1’S and Byron’s hoodie. I walk out of our room and see him setting down our plates he goes sits on the counter pulls out the old school lighter i bought him with a rose engraved into it he lights his blunt, i start to eat my food he looks at me and goes “Eat it all bae you and our baby need all the energy that y’all can get”, i look bad mouth full of pancakes and smile like a little ass kid after i finish eating he takes my plate and puts it into the sink, he takes my hand as we walk down the stairs of our apartment and he says wait as he opens the door for me he closes it and gets into the driver seat, he looks at me i look at him he caressed my cheek and kisses me, i say let’s get this show on the road bae, he starts the car and pulls off as we’re pulling up to the school parking lot byron gets all these stares and glances as he gets out to help me out the car, he spins me around in a circle and reels me in for a kiss as he finishes kissing me he takes my hand and sits in front of the car waiting for the first bell to ring, tio walks up to byron they do their little handshake and hug each other, tio asks about how my pregnancy is going i tell him it’s going good for the most part. Five minutes later the bell rings tio hugs me, daps byron up. Byron takes my hand and walks me to my first class which happens to be geometric science i kiss byron bye, he tells me that he’ll check on me after my class i say okay. He walks to his class, I put in my headphones and listen to the playlist byron made me on spotify, i sit myself in the back of the classroom away from anybody i mean there was hardly anybody in my class, i start drawing and jotting down notes listening to music and i guess an hour went by the class was over, Byron was already outside my class waiting for me he takes my hand and reels me in for a hug, he smells like cologne he rubs my back and with his other hand rubs my stomach i put my head on his chest he rest his chin on my head, he takes my hand and spins me around to walk to our next class which we had together. We walk into Mrs. Bowers class together holding hands and she says a slick comment like “Look at the two love birds” or something i didn’t hear what she said. Byron brings me back to my chair and helps me sit down while he fetches a sit in between me and tio as mrs. Bowers starts her lesson when i suddenly see three maybe four cops outside our class, they don’t look like they’re here on drug business looks like something more serious they walk into our class and whisper to mrs. bowers about something and then they take Byron out the class I look at Tio, Tio looks at me we’re both worried about what he could have done…

𝙰𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚊’𝚜 𝙳𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚢. 𝙼𝚊𝚢 𝟷𝟹𝚝𝚑,𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟸

He put me in the hospital, I have tread marks of his boots on my stomach he broke my ribs in three different places and gave me a brain bleed i begged the doctors to fake my death but only to him to like fake a code or something i really just want me and this abusive fuck to be done with.