Nothing But Voices

“Are you sure this is the right day?”

“You’ve asked that three times already.”

“I know, but the letter didn’t sound certain.”

“Letters never sound certain.”

“It said ‘if you still want to.’ That doesn’t feel firm.”

“It feels honest.”

“Honest would’ve been a time.”

“It was a time. Noon.”

“It’s 12:07.”

“He’s late.”

“Or we are early in a way that matters.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“Neither does standing here pretending this is casual.”

“I’m not pretending.”

“You are. You’re doing the voice.”

“What voice?”

“The one where everything’s fine.”

“I can leave.”

“You won’t.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do. You always say you’ll leave.”

“And you always say I won’t.”

“And here we are.”

“Do you think he’ll recognize me?”

“You haven’t changed that much.”

“I’ve changed.”

“You’ve aged.”

“That’s change.”

“Not the kind you mean.”

“I mean the kind that matters.”

“He’ll see it anyway.”

“What if he doesn’t?”

“Then you’ll still know it’s there.”

“That’s not comforting.”

“It’s not supposed to be.”

“Why did you come with me?”

“You asked.”

“I didn’t think you would.”

“You never think I will.”

“You usually don’t.”

“I usually do.”

“Not like this.”

“Not like this is still doing.”

“What if he doesn’t come?”

“Then the story ends differently.”

“I don’t like that ending.”

“You didn’t like the first one either.”

“At least the first one was real.”

“So is this.”

“It feels unfinished.”

“Most things do while you’re inside them.”

“Do you remember what he said that day?”

“I remember what you said.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“You asked the wrong person.”

“He said he’d explain.”

“He said a lot of things.”

“He said it wasn’t the end.”

“People say that when they don’t know how to stay.”

“I waited.”

“You waited longer than anyone should.”

“I needed to hear it.”

“You needed it to sound different.”

“Is that so wrong?”

“No. It’s human.”

“That doesn’t make it easier.”

“No.”

“Do you think he practiced what he’s going to say?”

“He’s always been good at that.”

“At rehearsing?”

“At sounding prepared.”

“What if he says sorry?”

“He might.”

“What if he doesn’t?”

“Then you’ll still have an answer.”

“What if his answer isn’t enough?”

“It never is.”

“Then why are we here?”

“Because not knowing is heavier.”

“I don’t want to be angry anymore.”

“Anger’s been holding you together.”

“I’m tired of being held that way.”

“You don’t have to forgive him to let go.”

“Everyone says that.”

“Everyone avoids doing it.”

“Do you think he misses me?”

“He misses the version of you that fit his life.”

“That’s not fair.”

“It’s accurate.”

“I don’t want to be a lesson.”

“You already are.”

“So are you.”

“I didn’t ask to be.”

“Neither did I.”

“There.”

“Where?”

“By the door.”

“I don’t see—”

“That’s him.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“He looks… smaller.”

“So do you.”

“Stop.”

“Breathe.”

“I am breathing.”

“You’re shaking.”

“Don’t say that.”

“He’s coming over.”

“Do you want me to stay?”

“Yes.”

“Or no?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t speak for me.”

“I won’t.”

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“You came.”

“You said noon.”

“I know. I didn’t think you would.”

“You look well.”

“You don’t.”

“That’s honest.”

“I’ve had a long year.”

“So have I.”

“I’m glad you’re here.”

“Are you?”

“Yes.”

“Say it like you mean it.”

“I am glad you’re here.”

“Sit.”

“Thank you.”

“You brought someone.”

“I didn’t want to come alone.”

“I understand.”

“Do you?”

“I think so.”

“You said you’d explain.”

“I did.”

“I waited.”

“I know.”

“That silence wasn’t nothing.”

“It felt like it.”

“I was trying to figure out how to say it without making it worse.”

“You didn’t.”

“I know.”

“Why now?”

“Because I’m leaving.”

“Of course you are.”

“I wanted to tell you before I did.”

“So this is goodbye.”

“No.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s me not running without saying anything.”

“That would’ve been new.”

“I’m trying.”

“Trying would’ve been sooner.”

“You’re right.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“I know.”

“I wanted to.”

“I know.”

“But I don’t.”

“That means more than you think.”

“It shouldn’t.”

“I don’t expect forgiveness.”

“Good.”

“I just needed you to hear it.”

“I heard you a year ago.”

“Not this part.”

“What part?”

“That I was afraid.”

“Of me?”

“Of staying.”

“You could’ve said that.”

“I was afraid it would sound like an excuse.”

“It still does.”

“I know.”

“But it’s closer to the truth.”

“I don’t know what to do with that.”

“You don’t have to do anything.”

“That’s easy for you to say.”

“I know.”

“I didn’t come for closure.”

“Then why did you come?”

“To see if my voice still shook when I said your name.”

“Does it?”

“No.”

“Then maybe that’s something.”

“Maybe.”

“I should go.”

“Already?”

“Yes.”

“I won’t stop you.”

“I know.”

“Take care.”

“You too.”

“Are you okay?”

“I will be.”

“That’s a good answer.”

“It’s an honest one.”

“Let’s go.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you glad you came?”

“Ask me tomorrow.”

“Fair.”

“At least he showed up.”

“At least he did.”

“And you did too.”

“That part matters.”

“More than I thought.”

“Ready?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”