Not Tonight

“You’re awake.”

“I was.”

“You don’t have to stay up.”

“I know.”

“You should rest when you can.”

“I wasn’t tired.”

“You said that earlier.”

“I say it a lot.”

“That doesn’t make it true.”

“It doesn’t make it false either.”

“Did you eat?”

“Not really.”

“You need to eat.”

“I’m going to.”

“When?”

“Soon.”

“Define soon.”

“After this.”

“After what?”

“After you’re finished talking.”

“Fine.”

“Can I stand?”

“You’re standing now.”

“I mean properly.”

“Then yes.”

“For how long?”

“As long as you can stay calm.”

“I am calm.”

“I didn’t say you weren’t. Just don’t pace.”

“I wasn’t going to."

“I know. I’m just saying.”

“Okay.”

“Okay what?”

“Okay, I won’t.”

“You don’t need to hover.”

“I’m not hovering.”

“Then stop standing like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re waiting.”

“I am waiting.”

“For?”

“For you to finish.”

“You’re doing that thing again.”

“What thing?”

“Listening too closely.”

“I thought you wanted me to listen.”

“Not like that.”

“You’ve been standing for a while.”

“I can sit.”

“I didn’t ask you to.”

“I thought it might be better.”

“Better for who?”

“For you.”

“Then stay where you are.”

“I will.”

“You don’t have to say it like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re apologising.”

“I wasn’t.”

“You were.”

“I’ll stop.”

“You don’t need to stop.”

“Then what should I do?”

“Just don’t make it worse.”

“I wasn’t.”

“You don’t have to stay.”

“I know.”

“I’m serious.”

“I didn’t say you weren’t.”

“You could leave.”

“Now?”

“When you’re ready.”

“Am I ready?”

“You’d know.”

“What if I’m not?”

“Then it’s better to wait.”

“Better for who?”

“For both of us.”

“You always say that.”

“Say what?”

“That it’s better for the both of us.”

“It actually is.”

“According to who?”

“According to what happens when you don’t listen.”

“If you say so.”

“You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what?”

“Checking my reaction.”

“I like to know where I stand.”

“You already do.”

“Then why do you keep asking?”

“I don’t.”

“You do.”

“I check in.”

“That’s not checking in.”

“It is when I do it.”

“You only do it when you think something’s wrong.”

“And is something wrong?”

“You tell me.”

“I’m asking you.”

“You’re asking the wrong way.”

“There’s no right way.”

“There is. You just don’t like it.”

“Don’t turn this around.”

“I’m not. It already is.”

“Then tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

“What I’m supposed to do next.”

“Just… try to stay calm.”

“That’s not an instruction.”

“I don’t need to spell it out.”

“You usually do.”

“Because you pretend not to understand.”

“I understand when you’re clear.”

“I am being clear.”

“You’re being vague.”

“That’s not the same thing.”

“It is when you’re avoiding it.”

“That’s your version.”

“We’re not changing things.”

“Then why are you?”

“I’m not… we agreed on how this goes.”

“You are, you’re not following it.”

“Lower your voice.”

“I didn’t raise it.”

“I’m trying to keep this from escalating.”

“You already did.”

“This isn’t going where you think it is.”

“It already went there.”

“This conversation is over.”

“Then stop talking.”

“...Fine.”

“Are you going to sit?”

“You didn’t tell me to.”

“I shouldn’t have to.”

“You usually do.”

“Not tonight.”