Night comes

　　The day gradually darkened in front of my eyes, looking out from the playground, everything in the distance has been blurred, even the usually lofty mountains, only a vague outline remains, not to mention the trees that are visible in the daytime on the opposite side of the mountain. The students were in class, and the people playing basketball on the playground were leaving in twos and threes, leaving me alone in the large playground. The moon had not yet risen, and my vision could not penetrate the darkness of the night, so I returned to my office by the faint light projected from the classroom window.

　　The light was on for a while, then suddenly went out, and after a while, it began to flicker, as if someone was blocking its progress, and in this flicker, there was a "crackling" sound. After a while, the lights went out completely, leaving the room in the darkness where you can't see your fingers. I know this is an old problem, because of the lack of power, every night at 7 o'clock, the office can not be properly lit up. Although the office computer is next to a lamp, I do not bother to open it, because of the weak light of the lamp, there is no way to illuminate the darkness of the real office, every time I sit in front of the lamp, I feel the darkness behind me like to devour me a general cage, that feeling makes people feel suffocated, so every night at this time, if not particularly necessary for the sake of, I would rather not turn on the computer, not turn on the lamp I sat there in a daze, integrating myself into this darkness, becoming part of this darkness. In this darkness, with my eyes open, I am just like a blind man.

　　In fact, I should be grateful that this is only a temporary power shortage, after a while, the office will light up again, compared to those years spent in the dark, I am indeed a lot happier. Just joined the work of those years, in a village elementary school away from the market town, there are many nights, I spent in the dark. The transformer power in that village was too small, and often the transformer was burned out because of the overload, and once the transformer was burned out, there were many nights. On nights like that, I was not only blind but also speechless, often quietly enduring the darkness and waiting for the light. If it was a daytime blackout that was a little better because I would have candles ready, but what I feared most was a sudden blackout at night, in which case I would be overwhelmed because many of my things would be interrupted in an instant, such as my chopsticks reaching for my plate, always losing their way and coming into close contact with the table again and again.

　　After almost a year at that school, I mastered a certain routine: every time I went to the market town, I would have plenty of candles ready so that I wouldn't be afraid of power outages. Because there were not many students, our work was not very stressful, and at night, all the time belonged to us, because of the closed, our entertainment life was very little, and at night, if there was no power outage, we would all get together to play mahjong, the jackpot was very small, but because of my family and personality, I rarely participated in that kind of entertainment, and more often than not, I would stay alone in my room Read a book. If the power goes out, everyone will rest early, for me, this is the best time, because of the quiet outside, I can put their restless hearts to calm down, and taste the fragrance of those words. In fact, since I joined the workforce, only those years I was quiet to read properly, the reason why I can now talk eloquently in the classroom, is I appreciate the accumulation of those years, thanks to those days of power outages.

　　When I was in elementary school, every time my parents went to the street, they would bring a few bottles and buy a few pounds of kerosene, so to speak, since I went to school, the family bought kerosene, more than half of it was used up by me. Since I was a child, I loved to read, but I had no way to get books other than textbooks. So, no matter who I knew had a book, I would try everything to borrow it, of course, in the countryside, there is no way to find the masterpiece, those years I read, more martial arts novels and historical novels. When I couldn't borrow a book, I would find someone else's hand-copied mourning songs (funeral songs) to read, what impressed me most was that once my uncle found a book of mourning songs from somewhere, "Zhang Xiao hit Feng", and asked me to help him copy it, and that made me very happy, I not only gave my uncle a copy, but also gave myself a copy, and when nothing else, I brought it to school to show off in front of my classmates.

　　Of course, more often than not, I had nothing to do at night, and after I finished my homework, I stayed in the courtyard and watched the sky. The night in the countryside is just like the day, and the night is still busy in the eyes of the farmers. When the moon rose, my parents were still busy. My father would either, by the faint light of the moon, weave a back basket, or beat straw shoes ...... my mother would prepare the next day's pig food, and they would usually be busy until late.

　　In those days when there were no electric lights, the countryside was much livelier at night than it is now, and because of the lack of entertainment, we would play many of our games with children of the same age in the neighborhood, often playing warfare in the nearby field pads. A group of children divided into two groups, imitating the film footage, relying on homemade wooden swords and spears, shouting and killing, the moonlight at this time let our shadows sway, suddenly big and small, suddenly short and long, surprisingly a feeling of grass and wood. Those nights, we were called home by our parents, but because our voices were too loud, we often could not hear our parents' calls, so many times, we were led home by the ears of our parents.

　　When my parents were free, I would sit next to my father very well and listen to him tell me the stories he knew, my father had not read books, but he knew those stories, many of them were passed on by word of mouth, the content of the stories was mostly the same, either exhorting people to be virtuous and good, or admonishing us to be filial to our parents when I first started listening, I still felt quite new, time was long I think it's a good idea to listen to my father's stories, and I don't think it's interesting to listen to them anymore. Many years later, I realized that my father was implementing his education for us in his way, and what was contained in those stories was the ancient wisdom passed down from generation to generation by my grandparents, but I did not understand this truth at that time. After I joined the workforce, in order to educate students, I also told the same stories and said the same words as my father, and I realized how much effort my father had spent on me back then, and how disappointed my father should have been inside when I refused the stories he told me because I read for two days myself.

　　Now I have my children, due to work, I do not have much time to spend with my children, only on weekends, I can see my daughter, when she just get acquainted with me, a sudden stranger in the family, I am gone again, perhaps, the word father is too strange to her. Looking back on my childhood, I realize that although poor and isolated, I was much happier than my daughter because every night, my father would call me home, rush me to sleep, and tell me the stories he knew.

　　Today, many years later, I escaped from my home and came to my current school, where my horizons are much wider and my life is richer, but in my heart, I can no longer find the happiness I had at the beginning. In the dead of night, I would like to sit down and talk to someone, but I found no one around me.

　　Every time I go back home, I find that everything has changed, the old woman who touched my cheek has long since turned into a shovelful of yellow earth, once played together with crazy midnight, not expensive playmates, now busy with life. Sometimes, I would like to quietly, and then ask my father to tell the story of the year, but, reading my father's long-aged face is always tired because of life, but now I can not open my mouth. Many times, I sat alone in the courtyard of the old house, listening to the heavy shouting of my father inside the house, my heart was like a tearing pain. Since I joined the workforce, I have had a small desire to sit with my father in the courtyard, by the light of the moon, and my father a few glasses of wine, but for so many years, this desire has not been realized.

　　I don't know when I started to read books, but every night when it comes, I want to quietly read a few pages of text and write two small poems. But I found that now my mind can not be quiet, the weight of life, the busy work, and the intricate relationships between people, always occupy all of my body and mind. In this era where everything is starting to bubble, all that we once insisted on, in front of the harsh reality, have become unbearable, and all that we were once obsessed with, under the impact of the economic tide, have become so ridiculous. So, more nights, I sat in front of the computer like that, looking at the empty screen, nothing to do, nothing to think, like a fool, not moving.

　　On such a night, with no lights, put yourself into darkness, I found that although many things have changed, I believe that there are many things that remain unchanged. Because the moonlight is still shining brightly in the sky, when the moon rises, it still startles the rats that steal food, the hares that wander at night, the ants that move, and the owls that patrol. The panicked shadows of these little things can still be encountered on the roads that have been altered by our human power. They are much luckier than we are because while we are trying to change this darkness in our way, they are still skin to skin with the night and still happy.

　　Suddenly, a bright light cut through the darkness of the room, it was the lights on, the first thing that appeared in front of me was a pile of work that needed to be done in front of the computer, my heart fell again because I knew that this night, I would sleep late again.