Next Stop, 5D Station

Next stop, 4D station. Please leave all belongings and exit right to the platform.

I open my eyes to bright, bright light. I hear the whirring of something mechanical, a sense of motion, and vibrations throughout my body. I’m struggling to focus on what I am seeing.

As my senses pull together, I realize I’m on a train.

How did I get here? No, this is a dream. Why would I be on a train? Why am I on a train?! What happened to me?!

Next stop, 4D station. Please leave all belongings and exit right to the platform.

“Mam, can I see your ticket please?”

Grasping at any thought that would make sense of why I am here, I don’t hear him. I look down at my clothes and try to piece together the time and events that could have led me here. Was I out drinking? Was I drugged? What is the last thing I remember? Come on Jasmine, think!

“Earth to little starlight! Can I see your ticket please?”

Snapping out of the chaos in my mind, I look up. A tall, skinny man is staring down at me. Holding on to the handrail above and swaying with the movement of the train, he has his hand out waiting. He has kind eyes. An expectant yet demanding nature. He seems to be glowing. Is he glowing? No! My eyes are still adjusting.

“Do I really need to ask again?” He asks with a quirky expression.

I look down at my body and around me, patting for anything that might be a ticket. I feel and see nothing. I look back up at him. “I’m sorry. I, um, don’t have one. I don’t know how I got on this train. Where am I? Where are we going?”

“Oh great!” He sighs in annoyed frustration as he turns to look about the cabin. “Looks like you are all late to the party lightworkers!”

I look in the same direction and see three other people. They seem to be just as equally confused as I am.

“Hold on tight! You’re in for a real awakening!”

I look back at the man in front of me, but he is gone! Where did he go?! What is happening?!

I take notice of the others. There is a man and two women.

The man is older than me. Maybe in his 50s. Possibly a construction worker. Only an assumption. The younger woman is probably around my age. I’m 34. She is theatrically unique in her stylistic expression. But it is the older woman who truly catches my attention. She looks to be in her late 60s, early 70s maybe. She is stunning. With gray and white, thick, curly hair down to her waist, she is wearing a lot of jewelry and a flowy, patched dress of varying fabrics. She now seems to be very calm. Even excited. She is smiling.

I speak up. “Hello? Can anyone tell me what train I’m on and where we are going? Where did the man go? There was a man just here. Right?”

They look at me and then at each other. Not a word.

Next stop, 4D station. Please leave all belongings and exit right to the platform.

We all looked up as if we were going to see the person behind the voice coming through the speakers. I look at them again, but no one talks.

I turn in my seat to look out the window. I can’t see anything. It is just blurry, fast-moving lines of light in shades of white, purple, blue, yellow, and green. Confused, I turn back around and start to feel panic setting in. Where am I? Where am I? This is a dream! I’m dreaming! I close my eyes tightly, trying to wake up or transport myself back to wherever I came from.

Before I can finish another thought, the train abruptly stops. I slide quickly down the padded booth I’m in and hit the railing to catch myself. Holding on, I see the younger girl jump up and plant herself in front of the door. Determined to get out.

Without further contemplation, I pop up from my seat and stand beside her. She turns to look up at me. She is terrified. She just wants out.

Stand clear. The doors are opening.

The door opens and I’m blinded by an overwhelming, bright, orange light. Covering my face, I am blasted with warm air. My skin starts to dampen. The girl takes a deep breath and steps out, disappearing into the orange glow. I don’t see her anymore! Now, I’m terrified. I can’t move. The light is calling me, but something doesn’t feel right. Get off the train Jasmine! Get off the train! What are you doing? Move! But I can’t move. Not even a finger.

Stand clear. The doors are closing.

I watch as the doors close right before my eyes. I snap out of it. It was as if I was in a trance. Realizing I missed the chance to leave, I start to bang on the train doors. “No, let me off! I want off!” I continue banging and pleading to get off. “Stop the train! I want off!”

Just then I feel hands on my shoulders. They were cool to the touch. I felt a brief wave of calm come over me. I turn to see the older woman. With her hands still on my shoulders, she says, “It’s alright my love. Everything is okay! You’re not supposed to get off yet. The next stop is for you.”

Please remain seated. Next up, 5D station. Approximate time: when you are ready.

When you’re ready? The next stop is for me? When you’re ready? What?

I look at the woman’s face. “Who are you? What is at the next stop?”

Just as she was about to speak, the train started moving again and picked up speed fast. We both lost our balance and struggled against some unseen force to grab hold of the railing and sit down. It was as if we were battling heavy winds, but nothing was flowing around us. Her dress wasn’t billowing. Her beautiful hair wasn’t pushed behind her in a chaotic mess, as it should have been. Neither was mine I noticed. I also have long hair.

We’re seated now and catching our breath. The train is moving so fast! She grabs one of my hands in hers and looks into my eyes. I can’t explain it, but she feels like someone I know. Someone I have known for a very long time. But how is that possible?

Just then I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Sparkles! The air is sparkling! I look around in awe and confusion. I can see the unseen force now. It is moving fast and yet, not. I hold out my other hand to touch it. Rainbow lights bounce off my skin. I can feel it! A warm, tingling sensation fills my body. Like goosebumps on full blast. My chest heats up and my head feels tight. I can’t speak. I look back at the woman. She is looking at the sparkles too. With a smile on her face, she starts to cry.

She looks down at me. “We are ready to wake up my darling.”

It is a dream! Yes, wake me up! Please! Wake up!

“No honey, you are not dreaming. You are but you are not. You are where you are supposed to be. You are waking up from the dream. We both are.” She looks at the man. “We all are.”

How did she hear me? I thought that. I didn’t say that out loud!

“You can hear me too child. You just haven’t listened until now.”

I heard her! I jumped up. Stumbling back from the force of the sparkles, I grab the bar next to me and yell, “how did you hear me? How did I hear you?”

“I have waited many years for this ride. I am so overwhelmed to be here.” She bows her head and shakes it back and forth. With tears rolling down her cheeks, “I knew this existed. I knew it in my heart. I’ve lived many lives, but I could never overcome my own fears to see the light for what it truly is and that the light is me. You have lived many lives too! Both of you! You just don’t remember!”

What is she talking about? What light? Many lives?

“You’re young though. I am so happy for you that you were able to get here so much sooner than I could!” Again, she looked at the man. “You too! Don’t be scared! Believe me, this is where you want to be. I promise! I don’t know what brought you here. I do not know what path you have taken in life, in other lives, to get to be on this glorious train at this moment, but you are meant to help heal the world! It's time!”

Okay! She’s crazy! This is definitely a dream! Just wake up already!

She turned to me. “If I’m crazy, then you’re crazy honey. We are here together.”

For the first time, the man spoke up. In a somber tone, he asked, “are we dead?”

Dead? What? Oh my god! Are we dead? Why didn’t I think of that? No, no, no. I can’t be dead. No!

“My sweet girl. Careful with your thoughts.” Looking to the man, “And you! Careful with your words.” She takes a deep breath. “We are not dead. We have been called back home. A version of us is dying, yes, but not physically. You are very much alive. More alive than you’ve ever been. Just look out the window!”

Distraught, I turn to look out the window, knowing very well there is nothing to see. We are moving way too fast. But as I focus, the lines of light start to form a picture. I see myself. Standing by a lake. Staring at the sky. I am crying. Am I begging? As I look closer, a familiar feeling rushes through me. The feeling of defeat. I am begging! This is the last thing I remember! I was begging for help, for answers! I can’t remember why though. What answers? Why am I by myself at the lake at night?

And all at once, my life flashes before my eyes. All the trials I had been through. All the years of resilience. The silence. The sleepless nights. The physical pain. The heartache. The intermediate joy. The knowledge and wisdom I had acquired. The thoughts. The people. My relationships. My family. The planning. The disappointments. The confusion. The love. The lack thereof. The betrayal. The trauma. The decisions. The overwhelming emotions. The unexplained intuition. The dreams. The darkest depths of my despair. The loneliness. The need to fit in. The sounds. My connections. The demons. The addictions. The knowing that I was unique and not meant for this world. Never satisfied yet never feeling worthy of wanting or deserving more. I saw and felt it all in one quick burst of energy.

I dropped to my knees. Breathing heavily and holding on to the metal foot of the booth for dear life, sparkles start to bounce off my arms in beautiful tiny fireworks. My tears drop to the metal floor. I watch as they spread out and transform into pure white light shining back up at me. For the first time in my life, I felt pure love. I am the light. I am the light. I am the light.

I turn my head to see the man on his knees too. Looking at his tears on the floor and basking in the glow of his own light. Our eyes meet. In awe, we stared at each other for a while. Appreciating the other for their own journey. Appreciating the trials and lessons that led the other to this train. To this moment of clarity. Hearts filled with empathy and with eyes locked on one another, we stand up slowly. Breathing in the magical air around us, we start to laugh as the sparkles start to radiate brighter and brighter. And in a moment of complete understanding, we let go of our bars and embrace in a hug. I am the light. We are the light. We are love.

The woman meets us in the middle and wraps her arms around us. Her whisper echoes through the air between us, “There you go. There you go my loves.” She hugs us tighter. We stand there connected for a little while, exchanging energy. For once, I felt fully accepted.

With a big squeeze, she pulls away but leaves one hand on each of our shoulders, “My name is Amari. What’s yours?”

“I’m Jasmine,” I said. Saying my name somehow felt different. “I’m Shivay.” He smiled.

“Nice to meet you both.” She squeezed our shoulders and then cupped the sides of our faces. With one last glance of encouragement, she sighs and says, “now that you’re awake, I should probably tell you that the ride is about to get a bit bumpy.” And just as she said that the train took a tight turn. We flew back into the booth behind us, holding on tightly to whatever we could grab. Yelling over the increased noise of the train, she said, “it’s not all rainbows and sunshine from here my loves! We have a lot of work to do!”

Work to do? What work? What does all this mean? Where are we going?

Next stop, 5D station. Please leave all belongings and exit right to the platform.

I barely heard the announcement over the rushing noise of the train.

“What is the 5D station?” I yelled.

“We are going back!”

“Going back where?”

“Back to our lives! We have to help the others!”

The others? “What others?!”

“Everyone else on earth! We have to help everyone find their light, so we can all be on new earth together!”

New earth? “What is new earth?!”

How does she know all of this if she is here with us?

“Years of studying my darling! Years and years of studying! But I was never ready. Not until now. You need to let go of what doesn’t serve you! You won’t remember this! You won’t remember me! You won’t remember him! You won’t remember this train!”

“What?! Why are we here then?!”

“To wake up honey! You really need to start listening!”

I listen! But I don't understand. What is my purpose? How am I supposed to help?

Looking down at me sweetly, “You’ll soon find out little crow.”

The vibrations of the train started to intensify. The light around us collides and consumes the air. The noise is deafening. My ears fill with pressure and my head starts to dizzy. I’m nauseous. I can’t breathe. Squeezing both of their hands tightly, I look up at her and she gives me a reassuring nod. I look at him. His eyes are telling me he loves me. I’m scared but I feel safe. I am loved. I am protected. And just like that, pure white light explodes in front of me.

*****

I woke up in a bit of a panic. Feeling like I had lived another lifetime while I slept, I sat up in bed and stared at my room. Something is different. I feel different. Nothing was the same. And yet everything was the same. What is this feeling? Why do I feel like this?

I get out of bed and go to the bathroom. Typical morning. Typical morning, right? I walk to the kitchen and pour myself a cup of coffee. Gosh, I’m so out of it. Am I dreaming? Shaking my head, I walk about the kitchen a little, trying to identify this sensation, this feeling. I feel like I am wrapped up in a blanket of healing energy, protecting me from the air around me. I look up at the clock on the stove – 5:55 am. The clock in my kitchen is fast. I know that. I really need to fix that. I look out the window. The sun is just barely coming up. The trees look different. More vibrant than I remember. A crow lands at the foot of the tree in my yard. “Caw!” I stare at him for a short while. He feels different. It’s just a bird, Jasmine. But my mind immediately questioned my own statement. No, it isn’t just a bird. As I turn to leave the window, I notice a dragonfly flying by. Then another. Two? Hmm. Do I see dragonflies often? I can’t remember.

What is going on with me this morning?

I head back to my room with my coffee and get comfy on my bed again. I pick up my phone – 5:55 am. Again? I have been seeing repeating numbers and synchronicities for a long time but this time it felt different. It felt meaningful. Not just a coincidence. Somehow, I knew it meant something. But what?

Pushing aside those thoughts, I unlock my phone. Not sure what I am looking for, I opened my email. I skim through the subjects to see if there is anything important. Nothing felt important. Just looking at my email felt inconsequential. I close my email and sit for a moment, still trying to make sense of how I was feeling. Pushing aside the thoughts again, I decided I needed to see something funny, so I opened TikTok. Something I like to do but don’t do often. I can get lost in the content and I really don’t have time for it. The first video starts:

“Hello, my dear lightworker. You’re awake! You’ve made it! Do you feel different today?”

With a deep breath and heavy realization, tingles erupted throughout my body. I scanned my room, looking for something familiar. Something to bring me back to reality. But instead, I focused back on myself. I had to. I knew I needed to ground myself to be present with what I just heard. Ground myself? Since when do I ground myself? I let it sink in. Not knowing what I was letting sink in. I surrendered to the feeling. I closed my eyes. And like a kiss on the cheek, quick and sweet, I was overwhelmed with love and purpose. Is this what it is like to know yourself?

And then it hit me…

I’m awake!

But what do I do now?