New Life Project

“We set off into the cosmos, prepared for everything: loneliness, battles, suffering and

death. Humility stops us saying all this out loud, but we think at times that we are

wonderful. Meanwhile, this is not everything, and our readiness appears to be an act.

We don't at all wish to conquer space, only to expand our Earth to where the two meet.

Some planets are to be as sandy and dry as the Sahara, others as frozen as the Earth's

poles or as tropical as the Amazon jungle. We are humanitarian and noble, not

interested in conquering other races, wishing only to pass our values on to them and in

return take over their legacies. We see ourselves as shining knights of sacred Contact.

This is another lie. We are not seeking anyone other than human beings. We do not

need other worlds. What we need is mirrors. We do not know how to handle other

worlds. We only need this one to choke on as it is. “

Solaris, Stanisław Lem

March 3025

Hello darling, you died.

Worry not, don't panic, unless you have to of course.

I will guide you through this, I will save you.

Towards salvation one must walk at a steady pace, without looking back. Here and now.

You wonder what is happening, looking for your most recent memories, something you could return to, pay attention to. Grasp?! Ah! Now you realize you had a body, through which you understood your existence, the body making you conscious. Your being defined by the leg, hand and it's all now gone. Darling, now follows a time of peace.

Peace without opposition to the war. Peace in love for your own self.

There is a level of initiation into the mysteries, a degree of ability to see between,whereupon once thoughts stop illumination occurs, clear and brilliant. Just like the halos we see on all church artworks. This light contains the peace of conciliation, denial of dualism – you are the one who leaps into the lake and you are the lake, you are the splash and the stillness of the water's surface.

Sit in silence, focused on a single point, attentive and breathing deeply. Wait until they cease, wait until they fall away – like a peeled onion – layers, unnecessary sheets of thought, the muddy matters generated by the ego. Wait in silence, and when they cease, climb to the very top, go, beloved, go towards the light. And once you have climbed up, in spite of fear – leap. I know, it hurts like hell, that unexpressed, core fear.

It emerges from times long past. Do not take it to heart.

These are the two polar opposites of the magnet – love and fear. Leap,

l

e

a

p,

l

e

a

p

until it turns out that you will not come crashing down, you will float, dissolved into pure space which will make all the room you need. You will be space. What is more, there will be space, but no time, the illusion of time gone. There will be no past, future, only the ever vibrant present and gratitude for this experience.

I love you. Love. Try.

June 3026

You have to understand only those who underwent New Life Foundation training managed to survive.

You are in Thailand, close to the border with Burma – the only place which IS!

I suspect you know what is afoot, though I know you have countless questions – meditate, they will vanish. I also know you are frustrated. Aware how little time is left.

Although time still exists for you – and let's stick to that for now – this will pass. Time will pass. Your shadow passing over and onto others. Others who are the source of your fears. You accuse in order to survive, creating an illusory wall between yourself and the world. Your shadow, your so-called I and others. Your shadow upon them, because you cannot yet see them for them. Unsee. There are no others.

I want to tell you about Guanyin, the mother of mothers, who at that time heard me out and whose spirit removed the screen of illusion, transforming Maya.

I was thinking about empathy, dependency, exhaustion, depression and this – goes without saying – striving towards utopia, about the need to create a model, to show the truth about human nature, showing it off to those who live on other planets, about the unique Noah's Ark for a new world. A while later, I moved in with Theravada monks, in order to then return to New York via Europe and bid farewell to those whom I was never to see again.

That commune in northern Thailand was built a long time ago for people from all the world's continents. At the start of the 2000s, I worked there in the kitchen and on the banana plantation. I remember sitting on the border between Thailand and Burma, atop a peak with a view of a tea plantation, watching birds and butterflies... in the sweltering heat of January. After meditating for a long time, still on that peak, I sat down to breakfast, translating the world to myself anew – creativity, the need to travel, relationship – explaining to myself anew what is self-reflection, separation from people and needs. I was left with meditation, acceptance, love, creativity or rather the need to transform, the need to tell, to express that which essentially in experiential terms is beyond words.

I speak – I thought to myself – in order to understand the world, interdependencies, in order to grasp passions, the passing of time and things. Both equality as well as inequality. Born of that, once again at the experiential level, is a certain kind of humility, balance – in any case, the outcome of this is the peace of sages, those who know that knowing is unbecoming. Fools can know, those who are young and ignorant. There is nothing more to struggle towards. There is real need for those who want to explain the world through the INfinite I. Through needs and wounds, it's just that beyond it there is only the reception of stimuli. Birds, butterflies, cats, lizards, cobras, monkeys, dogs, jungles teeming with sounds and giving, eternal offerings and sacrifices.

What is separate in experience, living, comes perhaps from faith, sensations, more in terms of intuition. Certainty which provides meaning. I am not talking here about faith in a god. Though I am not excluding the possibility of his existence (at this level), and I am certainly not excluding the very need to believe in something. I was however wondering about the question of trusting instincts. The certainty which was guaranteed by this trust. Absolute certainty sensed as a TRUTH. Disdain for all that which is base, or all that which is luxurious? Is there no more room for disdain here either? The acceptance of conditions... Agreeing to be part of a certain deal, pattern, chain. The battle to transcend this, and union with this as reward! Through the idea of TRUTH I comprehend the absolute. I decode the TRUTH. Even though it comes in many guises, the ME discovers the TRUTH. I become the TRUTH in its pure form, beyond intellectual comprehension. This is that lottery win aka Cutting off from need. Being in the present moment. In the flow. In nirvana. In reading. Stood to attention. Lying down. In the bath. Leaping. The awareness of breathing. Eternal and lasting. Equalizing. Tolerance ofdisheartened tendencies. Increased creative reception of this world. Ease and clarity of expression. A greater need for solitude. Love for fellow human beings, the need to help, to share, to give. Silence. A great need for silence and focus. Accepting the world along with its nature, womanhood with temporariness. The natures of love and creativity.

Light others fly towards. Understanding on a higher plane than the intellectual, reconciling acceptance, unpicking – understanding that we are permeated by an eternal wave, up-down, inhale and exhale. Birth and death.

After a few weeks I understood that we all have the same emotional holes, the deaths of loved ones, unwanted loves, unfinished plans. I grasped that this is a question of brain chemistry. The desire to work on myself, discipline, meditation, taking responsibility for our own lives. I went through a proper wringer there, and had to name things for myself.

Unnaming some too.

January 2027

A long, long time ago, beyond many mountains and seas... Yesterday, there was talk of the soul, of how stuffy and stifling it is, of how – even when we die and are gone for good – there will remain the unnamed, unbound THAT, in us, outside of us, beyond, that there is in us that wonderful value, that beyond the I, that, well... And now we are dead.

As a species we have vanished for real. An unreal species. The only hope in the research project being conducted by The New Life (- > courage and compassion).

When I reached the farm, I was surprised to find it not too oppressively hot. I was expecting the climate to be tropical – the forest which surrounded the farm looked like an EARTHLY forest, made of moss. The lakes looked shallower – ponds, and yet fluffy. I looked around, fascinated by the animals, a decidedly earthly cow, though nobody here would be eating meat. The cow gave milk, which is provided daily on the farm, and I was also to learn how to make cheeses. Geese give eggs, though they in no way resemble the geese I have met so far in life, assuming they must be some sort of mutation. But the cow – as far as I can tell – must have gotten here the same way as we did.

Four new persons arrived today – a girl from Japan, two lads from England and the States and I. We got our rooms with beds, showers and desks, no wardrobes, just bookshelves and libraries. They gave us clothes, so I am assuming we will all look alike.

They allowed us to bring luggage, but I have no idea what happened to my things. The room has two windows – in a kind of hut or hangar, the windows looking out to the next hut along to one side and a meadow, with a clothes drying line, to the other. There will be three meals per day. They said yoga or meditation in the mornings were compulsory.

I even spotted a Tibetan nun! After breakfast, we all meet in order to agree the tasks to be done in our commune. Each one of us will have their own responsibilities, but also life coach meetings and group therapy sessions...

In a word, they are afraid, wanting to organize us – if anyone is caught drinking booze or taking drugs – out. We are to work like a well oiled mechanism, self-sufficient... I seem to be less afraid than the others. In a sense – I am not so very scared of prolonged sobriety, not terrified of the discipline, the only difficulty potentially being is the constant integration, the presence of others all around until the very end. They assume we will be falling in love, multiplying, that at least one more generation will be born on the farm before we manage to discover how to regenerate the soil.

2027

I knocked

the door opened

it turned out I was knocking from the inside

2018

So what if life after life has ended – I think to myself. We learned nothing from this episode. Procrastination, profanation, the professionalization of the ego. The end of the world, big deal indeed. But then again, things is what we are on about! About the ceaselessness of things. Possessing, taking possession of possessions, possessing in time which offers no salvation. The obese possession of the undigested, of lack of throughput, essential digestion. The process failed. There is no process.

There is the maya shakti dance

I was expecting at least two suns. I think I must be on the Moon, or Mars? In any case, a space escapade, something unheard of, but for me personally not particularly exciting – maybe because I dream more about seeing Kenya or New Zealand. On the other hand, deep in my heart of hearts I believe that we will manage to return, that the fuckers on Earth will either be converted or choke each other to death... In actual fact, meekness, nothing less, something much simpler... They say people have become receivers, messages only arriving, nothing being sent. They might wish to be transmitters...

April 2029

Urgh, I hope my mind doesn't get flabby and lazy this time, or fall into despair or boredom! How often will we aimlessly be reborn in mandalas, in which words are still necessary? In the illusion where writers are essential? When will we make a breakthrough in rebirths? When will impatience end? The coming of total rebirth, after which we will no longer need to return. Is this our chance?

April 3040

As a human being she is in love.

May 3040

these are love letters from Eve to Adam and they sound more or less like this:

Adam?

Yes, Eve?

We are naked no more.

3040

know

now

no

3028

I understood that we were at the tailend of Earth's kundalini's migration.

The Earth's kundalini was still in Tibet and represented childish value as a union of female and male energies.

3096

CHROMOSOME XY DIE OUT

This is why men had nipples – they are now evolving into women. We will be a single sex, not so much sexless as unisex and bisexual, and also polyamorous. I am a pansexual.

3060

Laya means imbibing or dissolving of all burdens and negativities.

I read Yogisvari's poetry, in which she tried to bind all religions together.

She walked around without wearing any clothes.

2666

Eve?

Yes, Adam?

Give me the tree of life, sex is a snake, chakras – apple.

In you alone there is Eve and Adam

these two personality aspects:

ying yang in all of us -

sex from asceticism to immortality.

3060

The situation we have come across is insomniac – sorry, I haven't written in such a long time, I forgot how – here we have collective Amnesia, an amnesiac pact.

History repeats itself, history repeats, we are in all of our impurity naive, we have nothing to breathe with, no water, all the woods cut down, the oceans dying, we are addicted to screens, to substances, not laughing, not dancing, not moving.

Life on Earth as we knew it has come to an end – killing us completely – neurosis, fever, bipolarity, eight hour patterns of static, stupefying work, smoking, meat, booze, incompatibility, the impossibility of cooperation, endless rivalries, lack of tenderness.

This has wrecked us, we did it all to ourselves, lack of empathy, rape, synthetic foods, synthetic unions. Mental ill health killed us all, civilized diseases, work, families. We became a personality disorder – The end. Loop.

2790

Why did we not look into each other's eyes, Eve? you ask.

Why did we flush the toilets? I ask.

Why did we drive to jobs which did not satisfy us? you ask.

Why did we consume foods which failed to strengthen our bodies? I ask.

Why did we drink alcohol which dulled that for which we drunk, the cause-need of being connected? We are scared of our own selves, scared of poor choices, scared of good choices. Scared of being too scared to choose.

We dislike the heat of summers and the cold of winters. We don't like being in relationships nor being lonely. We do not like ourselves, and cannot stand others.

We are uncomfortable, permanently out of sorts, out of breath, out of tune in our partnerships. I am building a Noah's Ark with weirdos from all round the world, building an ark for crazies we have been keeping alive in labs for decades now.

All the time I keep on thinking more and more often that this whole project is designed to warn other planets about the dangers of drinking, dependencies and working a species to death. What will entertain us next? Self-sufficiency? Being good to ourselves, kind, cooperative?

We have this need to create patterns, something seen via a lens, resembling real life, showing the truth about human nature, showing it to those from other planets.

We are building a home for them, or rather building this home for ourselves. Those who rejected the system, those who joined together in meditating for peace. In a united struggle each and every day, just as the hippies saw it was necessary, just like that, but we have to do it sober, that is the only pre-requisite.

The thing that killed us as a planet was lack of awareness, lack of sense of unity, lack of responsibility for it all. The need for ownership has to be changed into a need for sharing, rivalries into cooperation. Marx tried it, then the hippies, now it is our turn. All that damned socialism choking on its own toxic farts, greed, fury and disdain. All of what my grandpa believed in, the notion of equality, social justice, assumed people would not want to accept half measures, will not be lazy, will choose books over TV, will choose inner journeys and work for the sake of others. He assumed people wanted to developand grow. In constant distraction, constant ego traps, criticizing, comparing...

2011

There is no religion, there is pre-religion, truth, pre-interpretation, your transdemolition.

2019

In that first week, I had no time to write even. I cooked, learned a lot in the kitchen, working on the farm, spreading goose crap all over the banana plantation. But in order to really explain what happened I would have to describe a certain rhythm – for the rest of my days I will rise and fall asleep at the same hour, will eat at the same times. This regularity freaks me out a little, change will be painful, but then no one talks about what we have left behind us.

We have to go back to where the gardens.

Time to return to paradise, being free.

2020

I knew my father's generation, my grandfather's era were all about making the samemistakes. The only chance for us is sobriety, we cannot kill in order to eat. We should not believe that any other way is possible.

3030

Duizm proclaims that each life knows two deaths, the frontal and the back, this being the one from before birth and the one following the agony.

2782

Sobriety as the only option, but above all the permission to endure, to fall and eternally rise, up and down, to ride the sine wave, to the economy of peace, to silence and discipline.

You drive a car, then shift to the passenger seat, and the car keeps going. In the end, sitting on the back seat, you shift as they do in the movies to the roof, to another town,

in order to check on the weather by having an out of body experience and so and so

ommmmmmmmmmmmmm

2050

We are simply to multiply, you know?

2018

For some, peace means financial stability.

I am terrified of the four brother Walmart corporation, of corrupt governments. I lived

with my shaman in Peru. He told me goodness could have existed all by itself, but evil

demanded good as a counterpoint.

In the 1960s, the peace movement did not touch the core – none of us are enemies. We

are like two hands of the one organism, body. Transformation must come first. The

answer is in us, not in an intellectual context, but as experience.

If you identify with your body, you do yourself harm – you are unfinished, change is

essential. If cells divide, tumors develop in the flesh. We have to collaborate – if the

head is in danger, hands will protect it, that is natural.

Let us be aware of the singularity of the whole body. And then there is the

unconsciousness of the air – do we breath consciously? And if we forget we keep on

breathing anyways...

You cannot accept responsibility for your thoughts and feelings, only for your actions.

Harmonize courage with compassion.

You are not dancing,

you're being danced.

2015

Coming to an end are relationships, friendships, water, planets, reason and joy. We are moving on, never fully maturing, shuffling along on our knees. Our galaxy will smash into the Andromeda galaxy sooner than it was thought. It is approaching our direction at a speed of 120 kilometers per second.

It is ever so hard when relationships collapse, when we have to move apart and never see each other again.

It is ever so hard when we have to wait for telephone calls, about loved ones in hospital.

It is ever so hard when black clouds isolate from others and it is cold for long, dark whiles, no hope anywhere.

It is so, so hard when someone you love stops loving you or dies.

Seeing as I know words make no real sense, that beyond words I feel something more real, greater or more complete, that I believe in a dimension where everything will be interconnected, nothing is talked into smithereens, blurred to infinity... Yes, to be able to open other people's windows, to air their hearts, to teach them how to breathe using the belly. To help and laugh. To be better for others.

2024

The inequality of planets in relation to continental identities.

3333

It is an art to be able to go past the end and keep going.

We are metaphors representing ourselves, our own lack of evolutionary progress.

The Buddha sets out on a road as a two year old – submerged in leaves, he is forever a child, a fresh mindset, forever also a sage, incapable of anger.

3062

You know, I think of the Sun as a goddess.

2040

Resentment is a characteristic typical of a subjugated morality. Connected with ill- feelings towards the world, with regret and feelings of disappointment in life, of expectations unmet.

3010

Hermeneutics as the art of interpretation shows the way to act personally, but cannot teach how this is to be done. In this sense, it is an ability rather than a method or a skill, and not a theory.

3026

Smoke with Shiva, play with Krishna, walk with Christ, but if you meet the Buddha – you know - kill him!

3996

When the time comes to dress, dress. When you are to go, go ahead. Do not for a moment think of how best to become the Buddha... You tell me about perfecting your six senses and your activeness, but in my opinion all of that is illusory. What else is missing from the way you are functioning at this very moment? What else can you add to the place you find yourself in right now? You become a master no matter where you are what you do, then every place and all you do becomes the truth.

2489

ark

A NOAH FOR CRAzies

is HIS SATELLITE

2050

We feast on solar power (in potions and pills). The rich live longer because they can afford to buy spare organs from the poor. All will be buried with the seeds of trees and when the bodies decompose, trees will rise up out of them. And thus all will be returned to itself, you will grow like trees towards the skies. If we are to survive, we have to struggle against rejection, trauma – suffer the selves, our own loneliness, without showering it with food, shopping, booze, drugs, religions or light entertainments. To suffer the self and work for the good of others. To not allow ourselves to be distracted from the process, all the time walk on and eat little. As to youth, this is something I am unsure of. “This is water” – that is water – fish do not know they are wet, love is our innately natural environment.

2030

Good is on the other side of existence.

All reality emerges from Ritatao.

When a set of keys vanish and you look for them for hours, then find them in a flash of inspiration, was that time spent searching or the moment of revelation decisive? Desires are sticky, binding us to things-people-places, and even experiences. Observe, judge rarely and do not wish for too much.

The elephant is no more conscious than the ant fundamental strength needed for transcendence through the beauty of loss we become free,

not for the cycle of rebirth.

2300

We will build a house, I will bear you a child – impartiality, love of kindness, empathy,

shared joys – Bodhisattva is in love with the world, the world is lover, romantic love the

source of the most intense joy life can provide.

All is not linear. I never doubted in this for even a second.

4026

I love you,

I've been told words that can't be untold

Letters from Janaki