Never Surprise A Dragon

Dave circled high above the mountain range he called home. He was as happy as he had ever been and laughed the full-throated laugh one can only properly enjoy when all alone. An uproarious noise that shook the clouds with joy. The skin of his ebony snout pulled back to reveal several rows of sharp, white teeth. The sun warmed the amber and gold, overlapping scales covering every centimeter of his head, back, and tail. His thick, black, leathery wings, equally wide as he was long (balanced well, tip to tip and snout to tail, as the old saying goes), gave one slow, tremendous beat, then held still to simply glide upon the currents. His entire underbelly was covered in the same red and gold scales as his back, except for the two, exposed, black forelimbs terminating in three clawed, prehensile, fingers, currently folded tightly under his chest for best aerodynamics. Like his wings and snout, the arms and hands remained scaleless. His back end narrowed into a long tail that could be coiled to sit upon like a cobra. Or to spring forth onto unsuspecting victims, also like a cobra. Though at the moment he used it as a rudder to steer himself through the air currents.

Thirsty, he began circling downward towards a mountain lake he favorited for the sandy beech he could lay out on. He dove for the westward end, tucked his wings as he sliced through the surface into the depths below. Once submerged his wings and tails functioned as above, pushing and steering him through the currents. He opened his mouth and took his fill then tilted his wings slightly and began to arc towards the surface. A final thrust and then again he tucked everything in tight as he broke the plane between worlds, emerging along the eastern shore where the sandy beech he enjoyed lay between the lakeside and the tree line.

As he cleared the water, rising skyward, he heard something new from the beach below. Which by itself was astounding, as nothing ever changed in these mountains. He made sure of that. A high pitched staccato noise followed by a soft percussion. Nobody had attacked Dave in centuries. He had forgotten to even by on guard for it. But his old instincts returned immediately.

Dave circled east, over the dense forest and then came at the source of the sound from the south, via a small valley. He was sure the source of the sound, whatever it was, had been on the shoreline. Approaching, coasting on the breeze, making not a sound, he could still hear them. It was a voice calling out, followed by some sort of percussion signals. “He-he-he-he!” Clap clap clap. Over and over again.

As he made his final approach, there they stood. No attempt at concealment or defensive posture was being made. Just a lone individual standing on the beach, nearly naked, and very tiny. Perhaps this was a trap and there were more hidden in the tree line? But Dave could not see any more like this odd little creature, and his vision was better than the eagle or the wolf.

Another circle of the area, accompanied by those odd noises, after which he finally landed on the beach himself. He didn’t want to overwhelm the tiny creature with the wind, so he came in along the water, floating across the surface until he simply slid torso first onto the beach a few meters away from the anomalous creature, his tail still laying in the water. He lowered his snout to the ground so he could be eye to eye with it. “So, little one, by what name are you know?” His voice barely a whisper, still the wind of it knocked her backwards onto her bottom.

“Ke-he-he-he.” She replied, smiling. Though only a few, harmless teeth could seen. She stood half a meter tall, wearing only a white cloth wrapped around her crotch. Her legs and arms looked like snakes just after a large meal, bloated and misshapen. While her hair had the appearance of black yarn thrown randomly onto her skull. Her smile filled her face to the point her enormous, round, brown cheeks almost hid the bright, brown eyes. Almost, but nothing could completely eclipse those brilliantly happy and curious eyes from the world as she peered into Dave’s serpentine eyes, she drooled, then pointed, and again said, “Ke-he-he!”

Dave the Dragon, unused to being ignored, or laughed at, pushed himself up on his forearms, so that he towered over her, “I am Davis Draconis of the clan Serpentis, lord and master of these mountains. You will answer me. Who, and what, are you?” He snorted and two small puffs of smoke engulfed her.

She did not answer him, but instead continued to giggle and clap her hands. She reached out, vainly trying to hold onto the smoke. She giggled as she played with his intended threat, watching it dissipate before her. Laughing while she failed at her own goals. He lowered his chin to rest upon his clawed paws on the beach, and pondered this rare gift of something new.

She took to all fours and began crawling towards him. He drew back into the water, surprised by this unlikely choice. She stood up an began to pursue. He was not sure how this animal was supposed to walk, but he was fairly certain that was not it. She seemed to make forward progress by using one hind limbs as a pivot points and then swinging the other wildly and letting momentum cause her to stumble ballistically forward until she fell face down into the earth. Or in this case, face first into the ice cold mountain lake.

Dave watched her splash about for a few moments before he extended his neck and lifted her from the water with his snout. He pushed forward slowly, nose just above the water, until she could stumble off, onto dry land. He was about to encourage his foundling to do exactly that when a shriek emanated from the tree line.

“ALLIE!” A slender, pale, brunette woman was standing by the treeline, hair twisted up into a beehive atop her skull. She wore a green turtle neck and black slacks, with an unseasonable, multi-color scarf around her neck. This was chosen by her daughter, Allie, who they had been searching for all day. A man stepped out of the forest next to her. His hair was cropped tight, mostly grey in tight curls that framed his dark brown, hairless face. He wore a flannel shirt, blue jeans, and thin rimmed eyeglasses, and looked quite surprised to see a dragon. He rubbed his eyes several times then checked to see if Dave was still there.

The lady pointed at the girl with Dave and screamed, again, a bit annoyingly he thought, “Allie!”

She started to run forward but the man held her back by the shoulders, whispering in her ear. Then he approached, slowly, one step at a time, smiling, his left hand outstretched, and speaking softly, “Hello, Mister, uh, Dragon, sir. How are you today? Enjoying the weather?” He cringed a little at that, then shook it off and kept going. The woman still stood by the tree line, biting her nails. “So, my name is Martin. That’s Karen behind me there. And by you, right there, that’s our little girl, Allie.”

Allie heard her her father speak her name, turned and saw him, stood up on the snout of the dragon, grinning and raising her hands in the air above her head. This was the first time her father has seen her stand on her own, let alone walk, and she was very proud. She shouted to him, “Papa, hehehe!” Then she fell forward, still laughing.

Dave dipped his snout slightly, causing Allie to stumble forward onto the sand. Then he drew back into the water, until just his eyes and nostrils were above the waterline a few meters away from the water’s edge. He rested there, watching these odd creatures interact.

Both of the adults ran towards the toddler, scooping her up into the air, turning her around and over, repeatedly inspecting her for injuries. Other than being wet and needing a diaper change, no harm had come to her while alone in the wild. The adults embraced each other and the child several times before heading away from the lake, back towards the tree line from which they had emerged. They laughed as they walked. The mother holding her child, cradled in her right arm, while she held the father's hand in her left.

They were just a few steps away from the trees when Dave submerged completely. He dove deep, spun about, gave a few mighty strokes of his massive wings, then tucked them tight as he cut through the surface with barely a splash; a gold and red rocket launched into the sky. His momentum paused a hundred meters or so above the surface. He spread his wings wide, let his tail dangle low, casting a menacing shadow across the shoreline below. He looked down to where he knew the family to be, and exhaled a long trail of fire as he turned his head from right to left. Not hard enough to have any chance of reaching them. Just enough for them to feel the hot wind radiating from it,

He heard the woman, Karen, screaming from below and he smiled. As he dove towards their position, he saw them flee into the forest. Which made him smile again. Oh, good, it’s so much more fun when they try to run.

He arched his back, tilting his tail up and to the right, curving his flight path in slow arc along the tree tops. Dave fully extended his wings and gave them a quick snap, blasting leaves and old branches off the trees with a short, loud clap of wind. More screams from below, this time from the man as well. He lifted his right wing tip and curved his tail left, circling back around towards their position. As he completed the turn, his jaws spread wide and red, yellow flames poured forth, licking the sky above, roaring and cackling at the heavens. More screams from below, beneath the remaining boughs. The cries of the little one were the loudest.

They continued to run eastward, deeper into the forest, towards the mountain peaks. Towards his eerie. He circled above, rustling the treetops and spewing fire, keeping them rattled and running. He always remained above the trees and a little behind them, shepherding them towards their doom. They ran. He chased. He breathed fire. They screamed. He had hoped this creature would prove a greater challenge, but they hardly made an effort to survive.

A clearing lay ahead, followed by the entrance to a series of caves. He always enjoyed this part. Where he let them believe they had found safety.

They ran, panic stricken, into the largest cave mouth before them. As the prey always do, regardless of species. Dave coasted in, coiling his tail to settle down upon like a spring absorbing his weight and momentum. He could hear them breathing and whispering just inside the mouth of the cave. Dave leaned forward on his hands. He peered with one massive eye into the mouth of the dark, dank hole. Karen screamed and threw her shoe, hitting him in the eyeball. He blinked at the irritation, growled, leaned back and snorted a blast of smoke inward. They scrambled for safety deeper into the mountain. Dave took a breath an then exhaled a trail of flame after them. He released it slowly though, he didn’t want to kill them just yet, merely force them all the way through to the other side. He growled into the cave mouth, the acoustics would cause it to echo for hours. As would their screams.

With the flames and roars close behind, Martin dragged his family as fast as he could to safety. Allie he tucked under his right arm like an NFL football. He scooped Karen up by the waist without so much as by your leave, and ran forward. He had no idea where he was going. He could barely even see but for the flickering illumination of the deadly horror pursuing them. But there was no where else to go, so he ran blindly into the enigmatic promise of life.

Dave sprung into the air, over the small ridge line immediately before him, and was back down in front of the far side of the cave tunnel just as Martin and family stumbled out. Dave was perched on the cliff face half a kilometer above them, shadows laying above and behind him so they could not detect his presence. He let them have a moment to think they escaped, to feel relief. Martin set his wife down, kissed his baby then handed her over. Allie cooed as her mother hugged her tight, crying happy tears.

That was his moment. Dave dropped from his perch, cutting a tight circle so his shadow would float across them just long enough for them to recognize it and look up. By then he was mere meters away. Their mouths hung open, lips quivering, unable to make a sound they were so terrified. He swooped in, and snatched them all up in his claws and shoved their entire bodies in his mouth all at once. Crushing them with his massive teeth.

The man and the baby died instantly. He felt their skulls snap in his teeth. They stopped wriggling almost immediately. But the woman, Karen, she had landed fully on the tongue, missing the teeth. Now she was squirming about in their, screaming her head off. Dave hated that. It was so gross.

He shook his head back and forth, to disorient his prey. Then he opened his mouth to adjust his bite. Apparently she was not so disoriented, though, because she immediately jumped out of his mouth. Of course, being tens of thousands of kilometers above the earth at this point, this was not so much an escape as a suicide attempt. Karen began to scream anew as she plummeted towards the earth.

Always has to be something. Dave finished swallowing the food in his mouth then dove towards the free-falling female. He caught up with her just as she cleared the underside of the cloud cover, just a few meters above a particularly jagged peak. He managed to rescue her with a left claw only moments before her brains would have been splattered across the rocky peak like jelly on toast. Holding her up by the hair in his left, he took the claw of his right forefinger, stabbed her in the chest and twisted first left then right, preventing any further trouble. Then he tossed her into his maw, chewed her up, and swallowed her down.

Well that was tasty. Worth the extra bit of wait really. He thought. Then Davis Draconis flew off, upwards to his mountain eerie, laughing uproarious, full-throated laugh that shook the clouds with joy.