Namesake

There she walked on the sand torn road, with no fixed destination in sight. The landscape was desolate and barren with patches of bushels and broken buildings scattered across it. She felt a slight wind, in this dusty brown sky that consumed her surroundings, breeze against her. It felt torrid and was harsh to breathe it in. Still, her determination to press forward fueled her strength despite all odds of survivability stacked against her. Her hometown may have well forgotten about her existence anyways and she wanted no part to live the rest of her days under that oppression. She was a class lower than a pest; a slave to all and nobody. Whatever fate brought to her in this world she would gladly accept.

She stopped to gaze at her surroundings and to immerse herself in this overbearing environment. The sun broke out amongst the dust clouds above her, glistening among the wreckage of this slum she wandered. It managed to reflect against the ivory heart-shaped locket she was wearing around her neck, and the piercing light reflected through the surroundings. She glanced down at it and lifted it up slightly as she continued to ponder to herself. She wondered if this was really the best thing she could do for herself. Even though she hated the way she was treated in her village was stepping outside her boundaries really the right path. This broken world around her does not have a future and will take many lifetimes to try and rebuild it to the civilization it once was. Her hometown was able to remain largely unaffected in comparison to her new surroundings, thanks in part to the grand priests leadership and actions. It may not have been her best satisfaction to stay, but it was at least a life that could be safe to grow up and old in. She closed her eyes and curled her hand on the locket as it became warmer to the touch.

The atmosphere grew silent, to a deafening extent. She became entranced on her emotions and fixated on the warmth coming from the locket. All other senses became nonexistent and unimportant as she transfixed her state of mind on this current, fleeting feeling. She felt herself enter into a calm zen as she searched her emotions for a sign; an answer to which path she should move forwards or backwards with. As the locket in her hand resonated with the wavelength of her thoughts she heard a faint voice, different from her mental one. It immediately caught her attention.

‘Open your eyes, child’, it said in a soothing and supportive voice ‘there is direction to your purpose, provided you keep your faith in it.’

She opened her eyes to reveal the apparition in front of her. There it hovered; levitating in front of her. It looked like a shadow, with its entire being shaded by a slightly opaque darkness swirling in its own abyss. But yet, there was a slight shimmering protruding out of its backside and stretching from it. It was as if they were…wings, but transparent to her sight. Was this some kind of angel or a demon? The angels she knew and was taught in her hometown under the grand priests education were glistening in purity and white, which has always provoked fear into her. This being in front of her was nothing she could ever imagine.

“What…are you?” she felt compelled to ask.

‘I am…something’ the being replied, ‘I want to give you a better answer but even I am not sure. I think the best description would be a ghost of an angel, if that makes any sense to you.’

“A ghost…of an angel?” she repeated to the being in front of her, “That doesn’t make any sense, let alone be anything ever heard of before. Could you be a demon?”

‘That wouldn’t be a possibility’ dismissed the being, ‘My service in life and death has been towards the Almighty and my faith still stands strong. However, our once wondrous religion has been subject to corruption in this world by those that seek power and fortune from it. Perhaps, this has caused our kind to become a shadow of our former selves despite how we are told to have once been.”

This made sense to her as she collected the beings’ response. Where she grew up, the grand priest was hailed as a prophet akin close to the Almighty himself. He was praised by everyone for his faithful acts to keep the hometown strong and united, and for protecting it from the demons and chaos that sought to dismantle it. The grand priest was beloved, but maybe others in this world were a far less example of true faith.

‘That locket,’ the being queried ‘Where did you get that?’

She looked down at the ivory heart-shaped locket still in her grasp. “This is one of the few belongings I took with me before I left on my journey. I was told that it had belonged to my mother and was an item she held dearly to her. I never knew what she was like but felt like I needed to at least bring this with me. Is this how you were summoned by me?”

‘I believe so. From what I know, the locket is only given to the most loyal of our Order. Your mother must have been an esteemed member to have been gifted with such a boon.’

“She was a witch from what I was told, and I a cursed child being born from her. I often wonder why a community would save me back then only to torment and spew their animosity at me now.”

‘Life itself is a test designed differently for every person. What is your purpose for being here instead of there?”

‘I didn’t belong there. No matter what I did to help others, I hurt them instead. Every time I tried to voice my opinion I was beaten by other kids. The adults turned a blind eye to me. I meant nothing to all of them.” She paused as she held back her tears, recollecting all the various traumatic memories as she was making her explanation to this being. She took a deep breath to calm herself down before she continued. “I have dreams of wanting to do bigger things, to help others and to become somebody to look up to. I realized by staying in my hometown, that would never happen. I don’t even have a name.”

‘You…don’t have a name?’

“That’s right, I was never given one. That’s how low class I was in comparison to the rest of my peers and the village folk. Why would anybody want to call the daughter of a witch with any kind of name?”

The shadow angel took some time to let this girl’s words sink in. It could tell that this girl was wrought with emotion and was looking for an identity to make for herself. Her life prior to this appeared to have taken its toll on her to the extent where this girl did not even entertain the thought to choose a name for herself. She was conditioned to be broken, but the people in her hometown could not break her willpower and spirit to thrive with her dreams. The shadow angel reached out to the girl to show her support.

‘Well then, would you like to be named?’ the shadow angel asked.

The girl hesitated as soon as she heard this. She never thought she deserved a name as they were reserved for the adults to give their children names. She felt like in an odd way this made her special, but the more she thought about it there was not anything special about it. By letting others call her whatever they wanted she was letting them choose the identity she was supposed to represent. If she truly wanted to make something of herself in this broken-down world, she would need to reclaim herself first. She gazed at the shadow angel, waiting patiently for a response.

“I would,” she began, “but what name should I have? I am a person of nothing who has came from nothing. I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

‘It seems to me that you have aspirations to become greater than you are now in this journey. Yet, you don’t have a sense of self. Not because you don’t want it, but you were never taught to have it. In the world prior to this apocalypse, there was a name given to those women who had lost their identity or never had one to begin with. I believe this name should suit you, so that you can create an identity and provide a voice for all those previous women and for yourself too.’

“What name is that?” she inquired further.

‘Jane,’ the shadow being replied ‘I believe this should be your name. Do with it what you will and carve a path for yourself to make your own destiny. Consider this a first step to conquering the obstacles of the goals set before you.’

“Jane…a voice for those without voices,” she said as she let the name sink in. She felt some kind of closure start to emerge the more she repeated the name in her head. Although the adults of this world gave their children names, her mother was unable to ever gift her with one. Now, she had a shadow angel grace her with a name and felt blessed and reinvigorated with the tears turned to fire in her eyes.

“May I give you a name, for giving me my namesake?” Jane asked confidently to the shadow angel.

‘What would you like to refer to me?” the shadow angel responded inquisitively.

“Guardia,” Jane exclaimed “for you are a guardian angel to the Almighty, and us who inhabit the world. The world may have let corruption take over you, but I believe if you remember this name you will never lose sight of your purpose to help us humans on the right path.”

‘Then that will be my namesake,’ Guardia acknowledged ‘the gift that you have given back to me. Before I leave, may I take a look at your locket. I wish to purify it.’

“My locket…” Jane repeated as she took it off of her neck. With it in the palm of her hand she gave it to Guardia, who extended its hand to her. As she gave the heart-shaped locket to Guardia, the ivory started to beam an exuberant white that was blinding to witness. After a few moments, Guardia gave the locket back to Jane. It largely remained the same, but instead of the pure ivory it was smeared with a blood-stained crimson.

“How is this purified?” Jane asked.

‘This locket belonged to your mother. Before she died, it was stained with her blood and appears to have been cleaned to a shining, but falsified, ivory. If you truly wish to keep her memory alive and pursue the dreams that you desire then you should be prepared to face them in reality, not sugar-coated as this world will not do that for you. Wear this locket with pride Jane, as you venture forth to your desires.’

Jane looked at the stained locket and felt as if this was a truth she needed to learn. It was another kind of closure she could receive from the memory of her mother. She closed her eyes and whispered a thank you to Guardia. She felt a strong sense of relief and purpose as she opened her eyes with the locket firmly in her grasp. Guardia could not be seen anywhere but Jane knew that it was with her in some realm regardless. With a newfound passion and drive to succeed, Jane started to run towards the horizon in front of her to make her own destiny in this unforgiving world.