My cat Barnaby

Are you confused by your cat's behavior? Do your cats run wildly for no apparent reason? Did you get tired of hearing wild animal noises at night? I totally understand! This happens to me all the time!

Allow me to enlighten you as to the truth. Cats are strange creatures. I have a cat named Barnaby. Barnaby is a complete goofball. He is large and spherical, like a beach ball. He is orange, like a gigantic pumpkin. However, he believes he is a ninja. He believes he is a superhero. He is mistaken.

Allow me to share a story with you. We're simply conversing; grab your coffee. Yesterday was chaotic. I was in my recliner, and it was extremely quiet. I was reading a book, and then I heard it.

Barnaby saw a fly on the wall, and his eyes became enormous, like dinner plates. He lowered himself to the ground. He wagged his rear end, resembling a worm performing a dance. The whole scene was comical. I watched him. He waited. The fly waited. And then, he launched.

He shot through the air like a fuzzy rocket. Rockets are fast, but Barnaby is slow. And Barnaby is heavy. Gravity exists.

He missed the fly, and he struck the shelf. BOOM! The shelf contained my cereal box. The box dropped. Loops of cereal were everywhere. It sounded like rain on a metal roof. Barnaby also fell. He splashed into his water dish. SPLASH! Water poured all over his face. He looked like a wet rat. He looked like Santa Claus with a dripping beard.

I began laughing. I laughed so loudly that my stomach ached. Barnaby was irate. He shook his head. Water sprayed onto me, and I was now wet as well. He quickly fled the scene.

His feet produced sliding sounds. He slid across the floor like it was ice. He smashed into the door. THUD! It was very loud. He meowed at me, blaming me for the fly. That is the way cats work: they never apologize. All they desire is additional food.

Later that day, he returned. He behaved as if nothing had occurred, and he hummed softly, like a small engine. He rubbed his nose against my leg. He is soft as a cloud, yet he stinks of tuna fish. I provided him with a snack. I realize I'm feeble-minded; we all act this way. We love them regardless. It is similar to residing with a tiny roommate. A roommate who does not pay any rent and damages your belongings. But they are adorable. Therefore, we retain them.

Envision the scenario. You purchase a premium toy. It costs a lot of money, but your cat ignores the toy. The cat enjoys playing with the box, and the box is trash. But the cat adores trash. Barnaby settled into the box. He fit snugly inside. Like a hand within a glove, and he chewed the cardboard. He spat it out. Another disaster occurred. My floor resembles a hamster cage. I merely exhaled. What else could you accomplish? Absolutely nothing. You merely need to clean it.

Afterwards, they sleep for ten hours. They appear so serene.As if they are angels. However, you are aware of reality. Once they awaken, it will begin anew. The madness returns. The running. The leaping. The falling. Why do we maintain these pets? Since existence would be dull without them. They cause us to laugh. Even when they misbehave. Particularly when they misbehave.

I shall provide you with yet another illustration. Barnaby chases his tail. He revolves around in a circle. He appears as a fuzzy whirlwind. He twirls and twirls until he becomes disoriented. He falls to the ground, and he seems intoxicated, but it is pure entertainment. Ha, ha, ha! It is the finest show in town. And the price of admission is complimentary.

Next time your cat shatters a vase. Or crashes from the sofa. Merely laugh. It is advantageous to your health.

Barnaby is presently slumbering. He is dreaming of insects. And milk. And creating further destruction. I shall be prepared, so I possess paper towels, waiting for the next time he falls. I will be watching. And I will laugh. I assure you on this. Cats are the rulers. We merely reside here.

Meaw, I lost my human voice. Time to sign out.