Moving Forward

I hadn’t planned on being divorced at the age of only 28, though I honestly hadn’t planned on being married at such a young age either. The weight of my reality hadn’t fully hit me until then, as I walked out of the court house after signing the divorce papers. I contemplated how I was supposed to feel during the time it took me to walk to my car and determined the most prevalent feeling I had was relief. Unlocking my car door with the key fob, I chuckled to myself quietly. I’m pretty sure most people would expect me to feel sad, hurt or even depressed, but I felt none of those feelings. The marriage had self-destructed long before I asked for the divorce, leading me to have already worked through the pain and suffering portion. I was ready to move forward with my life and rediscover myself.

As I pulled out of the parking garage and up to the stop light I admired the clear blue sky. It was a beautiful day for it being early fall, still warm enough to not have to wear a jacket. Taking the weather as a good omen, I smiled to myself as I asked the bluetooth system in my car to call my realtor. A warm voice greeted me after only a few rings.

“Hi Violet, how did the court thing go?” Rebecca, who also happened to be a friend of a friend, asked in a genuine tone.

“Not terrible, but I’m so glad it’s over with. I was just calling to see if you wanted a coffee or anything? I’m stopping in a few minutes before I head over to your office to go over the properties you’ve found for me.” I offered affably as I continued driving in the direction of her realty office.

“Thank you for the offer, I haven’t even finished the latte I grabbed on my way in. I really think you’ll like the selection I have picked out for you, if there are any you want to look at today I made sure to clear my day so we can go take a look.” You could almost hear a slight smile in Rebecca’s voice.

“You are seriously the best, I’ll be there in less than ten” I informed her as I put my indicator light on to turn into the coffee shop parking lot. The green light in the shape of an arrow on my dash was blinking more rapidly than normal, hinting that a bulb was about to die out. I made a mental note to stop by an auto parts store to grab new bulbs later in the day. Luckily the drive-thru was empty so I was able to get my coffee and make it to the realty office in less than ten minutes like I had promised. I swung my car into a parking space and headed into the building. I had just been here the prior week to meet Rebecca and let her know what I was looking for. I didn’t need anything fancy, but I did need something bigger than where I was currently staying.

“Has it already been ten minutes?” Rebecca looked up at me from her computer screen once she noticed me standing in her door frame. Standing, she extended a hand and smiled widely.

“It may have been a little less than that, the coffee place wasn’t very busy at this time of morning.” I answered, taking her hand in mine to shake. We both sat, Rebecca pulling a file folder out of her desk organizer and me placing my coffee and purse on the floor beside my chair. Opening the folder, she began to pull multiple two to three page packets out and handed them over to me.

“There’s six properties to start with, we can narrow those down and go look at some today if you’re up for it.” She smiled at me while I sifted through the options, only taking quick glances at the pictures of the houses first. Once I had done that we plunged into the details of each property to start the process of narrowing down the options. It only took us roughly forty-five minutes to get the six down to my top three. After a handful of phone calls to the listing agents we were on our way to my number three and I could feel the nerves building inside of me. My ex wife and I had purchased a home together two years into our marriage which she had kept in the divorce. Fortunately for me, the house value had improved over the time we owned it together until the divorce, so when she refinanced to buy me out of it I was able to set aside a decent nest egg to get a place of my own. I also had a decent job and worked from home, so I didn’t have to buy gas much and it saved on my car insurance as well since I didn’t put much mileage on my car.

The first property had an acre and a half of land and was tucked into the lush hillside just outside of the main area of town which made it really convenient for shopping and other business one might need to take care of. Rebecca pulled her car into the driveway and up to the free standing garage. Grateful for having already been through this process once, I instinctively scanned the outside of what I could see of the house from where we sat in her car. Exiting the vehicle, we made our way around the perimeter first. Rebecca didn’t talk much as we walked, allowing me to focus my attention at inspecting the foundation and siding as we went. Once I was satisfied, I took a closer look at the backyard. It appeared a bit smaller than portrayed in the pictures, mostly because there were a lot more trees on the back of the property than you could tell on paper. I had a specific list of wants and needs in the house I was going to make my life in, and though it wasn’t a deal breaker the yard cost a few points on my scale.

Stepping into the house, we continued the tour. The kitchen wasn’t bad but I had hoped for a large, open concept kitchen. Cooking was one of my favorite activities, and I had two large dogs to take into consideration. I also wanted a kitchen that would make it easy to move around with kids in, which was definitely on my agenda for my future. I continued taking mental notes throughout the tour to compare later. Getting back into Rebecca’s car, we started the journey to the second home located a little deeper into the hillside. Guiding the car expertly on the winding roads, Rebecca reminded me of the details of the next house we were seeing. It sat on 3 acres of land, had a two car garage, a finished basement and solar panels. The driveway was up a bit of a hill, which I made note of for winter. We didn’t make it around the perimeter fully before I noticed a large crack in the foundation at the back of the house. Deciding that was not a problem I wanted to deal with, we skipped the tour of the inside and made our way to my number one pick.

“I’m sorry that one was a waste of time, they should have mentioned that on the spec sheet so I’ll be giving the listing agent a call when I’m back at my office about that one. I know you’ve been through the house buying process before, just don’t forget that you most likely won’t find the one your first day looking.” Rebecca cautioned.

“I know, I’m hopeful but staying realistic as well.” I answered her. My number one pick happened to additionally be the furthest away from the main area of town. Just outside of the hillside neighborhoods, it was a five bedroom farmhouse that included seven acres of land. The price was unbelievably low for the land acreage which admittedly made me a bit nervous, but I couldn’t pass up a house with that much land. I wanted enough land to have a garden and some chickens at the least. The knot in my stomach twisted a little more the closer we got, making me question my sanity in even looking at this property. The listing agent had said the seller priced the home to sell fast because they needed to relocate for their job.

The feel of the rugged dirt driveway snapped me back to reality, allowing me to direct my attention to our surroundings as we slowly drove the long dirt path. The front yard had ample space, enclosed by privacy trees for a more secluded feeling. As the house came into view, the knot in my stomach started to flutter in anticipation. It looked like it was something out of a movie, with two large pillars at the entrance of the front porch that wrapped around the house completely. A set of mahogany double doors served as the front entrance to the home contrasting the white of the siding nicely. The only aesthetic I wasn’t sold on was the crimson red shutters, but those could easily be painted.

The driveway curved in front of the house, so Rebecca parked in the curve for easy access. Still in awe of the appearance of the house, I got out of the car and followed her around the outside to inspect just as we had previously done. Rounding the corner to the back of the house, I was stopped in my tracks by the scenery. I could see fruit trees in the distance, a field of wildflowers off to the side of a barn and a few fenced in pastures. I couldn’t help the smile that formed on my lips, there was already a draw to this property that I didn’t feel with the other two. Reluctantly, I drew my attention away from the gorgeous view and continued to follow Rebecca so I could see the inside of the house.

The tour of the inside went fairly quickly because of my growing excitement, eagerly exploring the rooms with Rebecca in tow. Back in the kitchen, she regarded me carefully in silence. I had no doubt in my mind that this was the one, and I’m pretty sure she could tell.

“When I get back to my office I’ll draw up the offer and send it to the listing agent.” One side of her mouth crooked into a lopsided smile knowingly. I grinned back at her and nodded, unable to form words. The rest of the process went smoothly and moved faster than I remembered my first home purchase. My offer was immediately accepted by the seller because I agreed to the price he was asking. I had already gotten preapproved for the mortgage, so everything just had to be finalized. It had only been three weeks since I looked at the house and I was already technically moved into my new house. I had a lot of unpacking to do, but I had taken a week off to get settled so it could wait for now. Sitting out on the backside of my porch, eating pizza out of the box, I slowly shook my head in disbelief. I was a 28 year old divorced lesbian, but I couldn’t be any happier. Gazing up at the midnight blue sky splattered with stars and a gray moon that was almost full, I felt the tension of the past years start to melt away. This was my new beginning, and I was so ready for it.