Monster Car

The mirror showed a reflection that wasn't my own. This is gonna sound crazy, but I was a car. An honest to goodness flaming pink and black, angry shimmering racing car, glaring back at me as myself from the mirror. The twin engines were revving loudly and sounded totally pissed off and the car ready to run me over. Yet how can I possibly run myself over. Was I me, and my alter ego a car. Can we both exist at the same time, as two separate entities?

Furthermore, how can this large car fit into my lovely inexpensive mirror on the wall of my tiny living room. I had bought it at a garage sale for five bucks.

The probability of a human being a car, or that of said car being able to drive itself out of a mirror through my living room wall was zero to zero. Math is not my strong suit. This particular car however, looked malevolent enough, and ticked off enough to accomplish the impossible.

"Remember when you wished you were a car so you could run Vinny over". A voice said out of nowhere.

"What the holy hell...."? What was going on?

That happened last night, I thought as I looked around for the voice which had spoken. Who could possibly have heard me, Vinny and I had been alone on the dark street arguing. The cheating bastard had been out with someone else and never expected to see me at the club. His things were still hanging in the passageway. I was planning to burn them in the dumpster downstairs.

"Close your mouth, you look ridiculous, it's the car speaking. You happened to make the request during the witching hour, Brunhilda heard you and granted your wish. Hop in, let's go".

"If I am the car, how can I hop in. That could be tricky". I said, I was quite confused about the duality of myself.

Brunhilda was a whole other story, I though she hated me after I got her sister Hagata burned at the stake, she was a really bad witch. Turned out that she was only too happy to inherit her sister's powers and her lovely twisted witch's mansion. She actually thanked me for it, the wicked witch.

"It's magic, it's a gift, now stop asking questions and let's go".

With a great roar the thing drove into the room. I jumped aside to avoid being run over by myself. The infernal car was hanging suspended in space. It had managed to drive itself out of the mirror without breaking a single thing or wrecking a single bit of wall.

Holding on and jumping up high, In I hopped, Vinny you piece of crap, we're coming for you. I had no qualms whatsoever about killing Vinny. It would give me great satisfaction.

"Sooo..what should I call you, Car Ama, I'm Ama by the way". Totally alias, faked for the purpose of murder which car and I were planning.

"Just call me Car". Said brusquely.

Car flew at breakneck speed through the walls like a ghost passing through air. Not a scratch was made to the walls. Unfortunately, poor old Mrs. Bing was out walking her dog, in his haste to blend into traffic unseen, Car landed on top of them and flattened them dead. Immediately the ghosts of both flew up and landed in the car. Great, I thought, just what I needed, angry ghosts. Mrs. Bing proceeded to beat me with her walking stick. Car rattled and rolled, dumping them back unto the street.

"Sorry". I yelled and they floated away. Would we get away with this crime, should we report it to the police. Maybe later, first Vinny.

Nobody had thought of the possibility that Car could not drive. It flattened at least five more people before we found Vinny. We had committed six murders, six very dead people in one night. I couldn't help, I hated night driving, I was a terrible driver by day. Forget night.

Honestly, Car was quite terrifying. It looked like an angry 'Ghost Rider' pinkish orange-ish spookmobile. Three of the dead people were just too frightened to get out of the way, the other two didn't even see it coming. I felt really bad now. Still I had to kill Vinny.

We got to his place around midnight, there he was walking on the sidewalk. "There he is, get him Car ". I yelled.

Car jumped the sidewalk and mowed him down. A funny thing happened. We drove right through him. He ended up sitting in the back seat. OMG! Vinny was already dead. Someone had got to him before I did. I unbuckled the seatbelt and jumped over to the back seat. I punched him in the face. Ouch. I hit the leather seat of the car, Vinny was corporeal, my fist went right through his face. Why, why? I wanted to do the evil deed myself. I huffed, folded my arms and just glared at his stupid ghost.

I knew that Vinny had gambling debts, he owed money to some bad people.

Car Was furious. It backed up, drove to the club where people were leaving. Some staggered out into the street, half drunk, some were fumbling to find their car keys. With a great roar the bloody car drove right through the unsuspecting home bound folks flinging bodies left and right. It reversed and tried to get the others who had got out of the way just in time

"What the hell is wrong with you"? I yelled." Are you crazy"?

"Brunhilda promised me blood, I need blood under my hood. It keeps me mobile and lets me drive through solid objects". Car panted, preparing for another onslaught of murdering rampage.

"Stop. I think you have done enough murderous stuff for one night. Please take me home"!

The back seat was now jam packed with ghosts. Apparently, everybody was planning to accompany me home.

"Get out, all of you". Car raged. No one budged. He tried everything, they all stayed put.

Back at my apartment, car drove in, turned the car sideways and shook and shook until we all fell out onto the floor. It zoomed back into the mirror. It appears that my permanent reflection was now car sized.

Car is in the mirror and the ghosts are in my apartment. I can't see my real self in any mirror. The ghosts follow me everywhere. When I sleep they haunt my dreams.

Brunhilda sent me a Harry Potter-like Howler Letter, the type that played a recorded message in a very loud voice, and then exploded into flames. "You'd better open it, Ama. It'll be worse if you don't. My gran sent me one once, and I ignored it and — it was horrible". I didn't know that cars had grans. But ok.

"Hagata says hi. She got Vinny, now you have his ghost to haunt you for ever. Enjoy. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Have a great life".

It burned and fluttered to the floor.

Good one Hagata!