Monday Wins Again

I had to answer her, no question about it. If I wanted to see fifteen, I absolutely had to respond. But for the love of everything warm and cozy, why now?

“Raighan get up, you hear me calling you!” Mama hollered, her voice trailing as she shuffled down the hall.

Please tell me it’s not morning already! I thought, as I ignored her wailing my name from various locations in the house. Why are the weekends so short? I should start a petition to lengthen weekends. Imma write my commissioner or senator or governor or somebody!

“RAI…GHAN! GET UP! NOOOOOWWWW!” Mama howled again.

Lord, why can’t you just give us an extra day off? I wonder how long I can pretend not to hear her before she snatches me clean outta –

Before I could finish the thought the first of many unrealistic, yet terrifyingly possible threats rang out, “Raighan Troi Moses, if I have to call you one mo’ time, Imma drag you outta that bed by your toenails!”

I sat straight up in my bed, eyes wide as outstretched arms and heart pounding like a bass drum. Dang! Where does she come up with this stuff? My toenails, really? Technically I’m ready, so I have a little time. I took a shower last night, my clothes are picked out…well, in my mind and my hair is basically done, so I just have to brush my teeth and wash my face, I thought as I inched back under the covers. Before I knew it and completely by accident, I had fallen asleep again.

I was jarred out of my short-lived slumber by the sound of my room door colliding with the rubber door stopper after having been flung open with ‘don’t try me’ force, which I have on good authority is much stronger than g-force. This sound was immediately followed by the clanging of the lamp chain dancing against the side of the purple ceramic lamp on my dresser after Mama snatched it so hard that the chain bounced up and hit the bulb when she released it from her grasp.

“Raighan if you don’t get yo lil narrow behind out this bed Imma yank them lanky arms out the socket and beat you with ‘em! I don’t know what you think this is, but I can show you betta than I can tell you. If you carry your behind to sleep we wouldn’t have to go through all this.” Mama scolded through clenched teeth before leaving my room.

Ah, nothing says Monday like stifled sleep and looming threats of physical harm.

“I’m up Ma, I’m up,” I said with a long sigh. I sat, feet dangling off the side of my bed until the sound of Mama’s footsteps in the hall encouraged me to stand up before she saw me sitting. I got ready in record time because I needed my arms and even though it seemed far-fetched, I wasn’t taking any chances – especially not with my Mama.