Mission of 29 K

Okay, okay, we can do this. The giants lord over this land, usually watching and waiting for one of us littler people to make a move, but today is different. I’ve seen them enter, one by one. You’d think with so many more of them, so many more eyes, it would be impossible to take any chances and survive. That’s the thing about too many eyes though. When there are too many eyes, everyone thinks someone else is watching. This is our chance.

Today they are entranced by music and their own mindless chatter. Today they laugh and drink, paying no mind to the others of us in the room and on the lawn. Today is our day, for freedom and for glory. And for a whole lot of cake.

So here’s the plan:

Step 1: Split up. We have a better chance of getting one of our units in there if we head out in pairs, instead of one large group.

Step 2: The smile and wave. Gwen, Jordie, you know what to do.

Step 3: Jaxxon and Sen, you take the left wall while Allie and Kate take the right. Josh and I would take the leap and aim to breach the front gates. Got it? Great.

Step 4: The cry baby, cry. Now, this is only to be used in extreme circumstances. If we lose two of three units, then, and only then, are we to set it off.

Ladies, men, it is on.

The splinter cells separate, setting up their starting positions awaiting the smile and wave initiative to signal go time. Jaxxon and Sen tower over the edge of alligator desert, tossing tiny army men to their doom. Allie and Kate, graffiti artist extraordinaires, wander over to the right, then stick to the painting pallets and stands provided, lying in wait, as Josh and I begin our climb towards the highest heights in all the land.

Gwen and Jordie toddle through the forest giants’ legs drawing the oohs and ahhs as they tug on countless dresses and pant legs until they reach the wooden platform. Before long their performance begins with waves and smiles and kisses blown to their enraptured audience and to each other. That’s our cue. As all eyes point towards the centre each party takes off running. The race has begun.

Reaching the top of the tallest tree, Jack and I look out across the battlefield. Jaxxon and Sen get intercepted by the incoming elders almost instantly, lost to the pinched cheeks and waves of unstoppable kisses. Farewell soldiers, you will be missed. The girls are doing better, keeping to the rose bushes as they round the first bend - smart. There are no guarantees though, not in this game. Josh jumps first from the highest branch, clearly the fence with ease and takes off as I follow, a little way behind.

He rounds the final bend, well ahead at this point. What a legend. I can only hope to match his speed someday. When Josh reaches the door in record time, I’m so sure he’s going to make it, but then it happens. Crack! Straight into the locked wooden frame. Locked? What kind of game are these monsters playing? Someone could have been killed. I duck for cover just in time to see the ogress herself grab Josh by the ear and drag him inside, the door clicking shut behind her. As if foretold by the fates themselves the shrieking cry of cry baby sounds off filling the kingdom with the song we always pray remains unsung. The girls have failed. I’m all that’s left and I’ve been left alone, no plan remaining.

Well...maybe just one.

Keeping low, I shuffle my way across the garden front as quickly and quietly as I can. To the side is a fly-screen portal, my last resort when the keys of 29 K have performed their (more common than I’d like) disappearing act. There’s a little bend in the frame from when I had to break it lightly the first time. Not enough that the keepers of the castle have noticed, but enough for this. With a gentle crack, I flex it out of the window framed fixture, ease the glass force behind it to the side, and scramble over the edge into the porcelain white tub, still speckled with tiny puddles.

Tip-toeing across the tiled floor of this otherwise impenetrable fortress, I peek my head around the open entryway to see if any passersby might be seeking passage down the hallway. All clear. Creeping down the hall, I quickly meet the clearing. It’s a clear shot through sofa land to the kitchen bench, and there upon it lies my target. I make a break for it, scooping up the golden spade along the way. I scale the sky-high stool and quickly cut a slice of delicious chocolate cake, the greatest slice you’ve ever seen.

I hold it high in victory, cheers ringing out from my fallen comrades when without warning the world comes falling out from under me as I am raised into the sky by some unknown entity. By sheer force of will I keep hold of my well-earned treasure as I’m swung across the room into a firm wooden chair. The rest of the cake is placed down before me, candles lit one by one. A guilty grin spreads out across my face as I take a timid bite of the slice I had stolen, and I’m met with my mother’s resigned smile.

As the others join us, crowding this small space with frivolity and song, she leans in close and whispers, “Happy Birthday darling. Make a wish.”