Misfortune's Curse

Long ago, in the land of Plethora, there existed a headstone, a furniture showroom, a princess, and a salesman. Now you may find this a rather odd combination, however, it is only this combination that could create such a tale and impart such an important lesson. So, as we enter this story together do not be afraid, for a lesson learned from another is certainly a happy ending for someone, dear reader.

Princess Galatea was seventeen years old when she wandered into the woods. Her parents had taken her allowance, but this doe-eyed girl, with long silver hair and a tongue too sharp for her own good… was certainly not going to allow that to put an end to her shopping. And so, she followed the Gumdrip Trail all the way across the Trolless Bridge and into the Starfilled Woods, where she knew she could find Misfortune’s Furniture.

This furniture showroom was not as you are imagining dear reader. In fact, it is something quite impractical. It is a small section of the woods itself, where legend says that a man simply decided to one day place various pieces of furniture and pronounce it a showroom. From this section of woods, he has operated for decades, providing customers with the best of deals. As our princess wandered into this showroom, a gleam twinkled in the man’s eyes and a smile spread across his face. “Welcome, dear princess to Misfortune’s Furniture!” he said with a flourishing bow “My name is Misfortune, and I am glad to have you here.” As Galatea looked at this man, she was instantly enamored for he was the loveliest man she had ever seen. Twinkling green eyes, a silver vest, and a lean form that enticed onlookers of all varieties.

“I thought you would look misfortunate rather than be Misfortune,” Galatea said with a giggle “Shall I peruse at my leisure then?” Misfortune smiled at her, as he gestured further into the woods “Anything you like, my lady.” As she walked around, Misfortune behind her, they spoke of the kinds of deals he offered and how her life had taken such a dire turn as to lead her here, to a place royalty almost always avoided. While they spoke, a shimmering glow caught her eye, and she quickly veered in its direction, finding exactly what she had come here for: A marble vanity, complete with a self-cleaning spell.

But alas, as her eager hands stretched forward, she glimpsed a price tag that was far out of her reach. As her hand fell back to her side and her shoulders sighed in defeat, Misfortune gently whispered “Princess, if it is what your heart desires, you and I could certainly make a deal that does not involve money. In fact, I will happily give it to you for free if you only agree to take something small along with it.” With that, he took a step back as though giving her room to make this decision, like the weight of it might be more than she was ready to take on. But our dear princess, in her excitement, did not notice that as she pondered this decision… the gravity around the furniture showroom and perhaps even the entirety of the Starfilled Forest itself seemed to shift, and everything was made heavier than it had been.

In an instant that went on far longer than it should have, Galatea made her decision. If it is just something small, surely it can be stored away where I will not have to see it should I find it unappealing, she thought to herself. “I will take it! Is there a catch, sir?” she asked, as his soft hand reached out somewhat hesitantly to shake hers. “No princess, no catch; you must simply take this object of your own free will.” Misfortune responded. Galatea felt butterflies swirl in her stomach as they arranged for the furniture pieces to be packaged and sent to her castle. “Thank you for such a wonderful time, Misfortune. I will be sure to tell my friends of the incredible deals you offer here!” she said as she skipped away. Misfortune watched her sadly, despite the relief that fell across his form, and murmured softly, “Please forgive me dear princess, but thank you.”

As Galatea arrived back at her palace, eager to set up her new vanity, she was also overcome with curiosity as to what lay in the smaller package. She opened it quickly, revealing a gray headstone, glimmering with small purple stones that read “Here lies Misfortune Teller, Deals Made and Deals Dealt.” Alarmed, Galatea quickly went to throw it into the back of her closet, but as she grabbed ahold of it, the purple stones began to change shape and where it once read Misfortune’s name- It now read hers.

As she threw it to the ground, the world shifted beneath her in a swirling pattern, and she felt as though she was being tossed into a separate realm. When she finally landed, she found herself sitting in the river that flowed right beneath the Trolless Bridge, surrounded by a makeshift furniture showroom, currently filled with self-cleaning vanities. Sitting across from her, beneath a shadowy part of the bridge, sat the headstone.

Quickly, Galatea ran back towards the castle, but as soon as her foot crossed the edge of the Trolless Bridge, she reappeared on the other side of the showroom. As she realized this, she nearly crashed into a vanity. Teary eyed, she looked up to see a note attached to the mirror. “The headstone and the showroom are yours now princess, but tricky words can certainly set you free. Signed- Misfortune.”

Now dear reader, Princess Galatea is doomed to sell furniture until she can break the tricky curse put into place. Yet not all hope is lost, for here instead lies a happy ending for you… For you have learned from another’s grave mistakes that not every good deal, is a deal you should make.